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Mindfulness of Breathing (58) Liberating the Mind

Then we come to the twelfth step of the sixteen steps of Anapanasati^[1], the practice of mindfulness, breathing in and mindfully breathing out.

And the twelfth step is, "Breathing in, one liberates the mind; breathing out, one liberates the mind." So it's the twelfth step of the sixteen. It's usually said not to be the full, complete possibility of liberation that Buddhism champions, but it is a significant experience of freedom, of liberation, of letting go that makes an impression on the mind. It makes an impression on us. It's educational, it's opening, it's inspiring. It begins pointing the way: "Oh, now we know something we didn't know before."

Now remember, it's the twelfth step. What that means is that the first eleven steps are, in a sense, a preparation for this step. If we simply heard the only instruction for Buddhism is to let go, let go, let go, I don't know if that would be so useful for people to hear.

And also, it might not give the right idea of what letting go is about. It might feel like, "Oh, just let go of everything I have and have nothing as a result, and be impoverished in some way. If I let go, there's nothing left, and I'll just be kind of depressed and miserable, or something."

The letting go happens after the first eleven steps, which are preparing the ground, opening the field, and setting up a sense of well-being where letting go has a very wonderful context. We understand the tremendous value of letting go because of the wholesomeness, the beneficial states that we're experiencing. To review a little bit how context is set up for letting go:

The practice begins with simply mindfully breathing in and out, helping the mind calm down, helping the mind get focused, and helping us to show up and be present for our experience. I think for most people, that's where the bulk of the practice is. Even people who practice for a long time, they sit down to meditate and they're at step one and two.

This idea that there's a progress, that you're supposed to always be at the growing edge of these sixteen steps, is just an unnecessary source of stress and misunderstanding. It's easy then to miss ourselves in the process and not really connect to ourselves.

The idea in mindfulness practice is to really become ourselves, be ourselves, really be honest about what's here, and learn how to rest and be present for it. This idea of just breathing in and out through it all is a way of supporting us to not resist, not try to escape, not try to avoid what is here, but to really be present and face what's here and work through it. Just breathe with it, relax, heal, open up, and release the things that have to be released.

As we do this practice, at some point we begin feeling and recognizing that we can relax the body. Sometimes the body just relaxes itself in meditation. Often you don't have to do the relaxing, but the body becomes more tranquil, more calm, and that feels like a good thing.

The more we practice, the more calm and relaxed the body becomes. As the body becomes calmer and more relaxed and we let go of some of the tension we have, feelings of well-being can well up. The sense of contentment, ease, and relaxation itself can bring a kind of joy and happiness. The practice begins inching its way into feeling some joy, happiness, contentment, and well-being.

That sets the stage to better appreciate the tensions of the mind and mental activity—how there are stresses there. When we start seeing that, we start relaxing the mental activities, calming the agitation of the mind. Relaxing the mind, relaxing the mental muscle, the thinking muscle.

The mental activities, which can be swirling around, fragmented, and going off in different directions, begin to settle down. The mental activity starts coming into harmony with itself, and in harmony and unity with the settling process of meditation.

Then we come into the third tetrad^[2], all having to do with the mind, the citta^[3]. The citta can be understood as the heart-mind. It's kind of like our inner life.

It would not be an appropriate Buddhist term, but maybe for a way some modern people use the word "soul"—the deepest places inside our psyche, inside of ourselves. But the heart-mind is what Buddhists talk about.

We start recognizing that we have this inner life, this inner mind, this inner quality of life, the mood state that's inside, and we start becoming the caretaker of that. Because of the earlier steps of Anapanasati, this begins to feel good to be connected to this depth.

If I use the Western word "soul", I think for some people it really feels like a homecoming, more than if you say "mind" or "heart". This inner state, the state of being, really feels good. There can be a gladness of satisfaction, deep satisfaction, deep contentment of being home, being connected to something deep that's not spinning around on the surface of our thoughts and ideas and scattered inner mind, but we're really starting to feel whole and unified.

That process of becoming unified, unscattered, and undispersed continues into the eleventh step with samadhi^[4], with unification. This whole mind state comes and gets gathered together, and there's a lot of well-being that can come. Some of the greatest forms of joy and happiness come from samadhi, from a mind that's unified, settled, and connected.

So by the time we get to step twelve, letting go, liberating the mind, there's just a tremendous amount of well-being. There's a feeling of being really at home, connected. Rather than letting go being an impoverishment or diminishment of ourselves, we start really seeing that what we're letting go of is in fact what diminishes us, is in fact what impoverishes us.

There's something about the mind getting caught and preoccupied, obsessing about things, spinning around in thoughts and ideas. Holding onto fear—oddly enough we can cling to fear. Clinging to resistance. Clinging to all kinds of things that we resist and hold onto and cling to for dear life. Clinging to self and self-image, clinging to hurt—all kinds of things that people will cling to.

But it's seen on this reservoir, on this foundation of well-being, of goodness, of freedom, of clarity. It's really clear that clinging is a separation from that well-being. Letting go just feels like, "Of course I'll let go." Clinging is so obviously a diminishment, so obviously a source of suffering, so obviously a source of stress. Of course I'll let go.

Sometimes the letting go, the liberation that happens here is so innate that it's not something we have to do. We just keep staying present, breathing with the experience, and just letting things be. Something will just let go by itself, because it takes a certain kind of mental involvement to remain clinging. If we just let things be—even our clinging—it will self-liberate at some point. It is the self-liberating capacity of all things.

So we come to the twelfth step and the time of liberation, of letting go. It's at this point where some people find it just a really wonderful thing. Sometimes when you sit down to meditate, just let go, let go, let go. Just whatever arises, let it go. Let it be, let it be. Don't be involved. Don't pick it up. Don't get reactive to it. Don't pull away. Just let go, let it be, let it be, let it go.

We let go of everything. We let go of even mindfulness, being aware. We let go of self. We let go of knowing. We let go of even letting go at some point—just let go. Let go of being the agent of it, let go of having an agenda, let go of trying to be complete or getting enlightened. Just let go, let go.

It's as if that's all there is. Let go of needing to let go even, just wherever it is possible the next moment, let go of this, let go of this.

So this twelfth step of Anapanasati, "Breathing in, liberating the mind; breathing out, liberating the mind"—that is the entryway to the last four steps of Anapanasati. Letting go and liberation here is not the end of the story, but in some ways, it's the beginning of the story.

Sometimes it's said in kind of folklore Buddhism that the Buddhist path really begins when we have a qualitative experience of letting go, of liberation. Then we know, "Oh, this is what it's about. This is what freedom is possible. This is what really feels good, feels inspiring, and feels worth it." It is such a qualitatively good experience, such a rich experience, such an experience that's filled with potential for compassion and love and freedom and goodness and a lack of wanting to cause harm in the world. This is a good thing.

Reflections

That's where we are in this process, and we'll continue it on Monday. Over this weekend, why don't you talk to some friends about what they've learned about how letting go is useful, and when letting go is useful. Have conversations about the benefits of letting go and how letting go can be done in wise ways. Look for opportunities to let go. Really start to explore all the different dimensions that you can find of when, how, and where letting go operates for you or can operate for you. If we do that, then we'll have a better foundation for continuing our adventure next week on Monday. Thank you.