This is an AI-generated transcript from auto-generated subtitles for the video above. It likely contains inaccuracies, especially with speaker attribution if there are multiple speakers.

Happy Hour: Cultivating an Inner Metta Mentor

Introduction

Hello, and welcome everyone to this Friday, or Saturday if you're in Australia and other places, or if you're listening on AudioDharma later. Anytime it might be good, more good. Welcome to this moment of practice together.

For today's practice, I'd like to invite us to work with metta^[1], cultivating a metta heart, cultivating goodwill, cultivating metta and compassion, as well as vicarious joy, which becomes gratitude when we practice for ourselves, as well as a little bit of equanimity. All of these four brahmaviharas^[2]—practice all of those for ourselves with the support of our metta mentor. So, today the theme is cultivation with the support of a metta mentor.

This metta mentor of ours is someone—it could be our inner Buddha. For some of you, it might be your inner Buddha that comes out and looks at you with eyes of care and love, and just sees all of your beauty, all of your goodness, all of your quirks, all of the ways you struggle, and loves you completely.

So, your metta mentor could be a Buddha. It could be Kuan Yin^[3]; for some of you, you have a connection with Kuan Yin, the embodiment of compassion. So, she might be the one holding you. For some of you, it might be a friend, a dear friend, or a mentor, a coach, your fairy godmother you can imagine, a parent, or an angelic being who is full of goodness.

Whoever this metta mentor is, just take a moment perhaps and conjure them up for yourself. You can switch later—it's not good to switch too many times, but if one doesn't work later in the meditation, you can switch and choose another. But conjure up this being, whether imagined, someone archetypal, or a being from your life, alive or deceased. It doesn't matter as long as the deceased doesn't bring up grief and sadness. Someone, or maybe again an imaginary being, who sees you completely and loves you unconditionally. They see your quote-unquote flaws, your challenges, your goodness, your intentions, and just want the best for you. They see your goodness. This will be your metta mentor.

And come on, this is imaginary, right? So how hard is it to imagine someone? Of course, it could be challenging, I don't want to belittle this challenge that some of us might have, but really conjuring up someone. Again, if it's hard to think of a personal metta mentor, think of Kuan Yin, think of the Buddha, maybe Jesus, maybe a being of light—whoever you connect with. It's perfectly okay for this practice.

With that, let's begin our practice, and I'll have invitations throughout.

Guided Meditation

As always, we land. We land in our bodies. We land in this moment, connecting with the breath. The felt sense of the body connected to the earth with each breath.

I'd like to invite you to connect with your metta mentor, as described. Inviting this being, this compassionate being to your heart, into your mind's eye, into your space. This being, either from your life, or this archetypal being, your inner Buddha, Kuan Yin, being of light, Jesus, Mother Mary, a friend or a coach, a friendly fairy, or a metta fairy godmother. Conjuring up whoever works for you. Inviting them, and letting yourself be held in their gaze. Taking some time to stabilize, still connecting with the breath and the body.

Letting yourself be held. Letting yourself be held with compassion, with love, with care. The loving eyes of this metta mentor. This compassionate being.

And if there are challenges right now, if there are any challenges in your body, in your heart, in your mind—bringing them up and sharing them with this loving being. With this caring being. They know you, they understand you. They don't judge you because you're having difficulty. They see you just as you are, they know your entire history. All the challenges you've had, they know your goodness. They hold you. They hold the challenge, the heartbreak, the body pain, whatever it might be, the disappointment with you, for you, compassionately. They understand.

Allowing yourself to just receive. Receive the care, the love of compassion. Being soothed deep.

Circumstances may not be ideal in your heart, in your life, in your mind, your body. It may not be what you wish for or would have chosen in this moment in time. Now, this being understands. They understand the challenges. You don't have to explain, they get it. They hold it with care, with tenderness, without judgment. Maybe you feel that their care, their understanding, the unconditionality of their goodwill is healing, soothing, comforting. It gives you more resources, more resilience.

And now, as you are feeling care, compassion of this being, held in their care with this difficulty, whatever it is, this challenge, see if you can ask them a question. See if they have some wisdom, words of wisdom with care and love they have for you that can support you through this difficulty. Putting your question gently, offering it, putting it on the altar. Asking, is there something? I'm just listening.

There might be something, there might be nothing. And the answer might just come in the form of care, warmth, metta, compassion. Maybe that's all that's needed. No words.

Let your body, your heart be soft. Challenge the sorrow being held with care. With care for you, with your particularities, who you are, the way you show up in this world.

And now, invite this being to whisper to you. To whisper to you the resources you have, the blessings you have for you to receive. Hearing a song you already know, but hearing them sing it to you. Your song of blessings, of resources. Letting yourself take delight, be gladdened by these resources. These blessings that you are reminded of.

And now, letting this metta friend, metta mentor, metta being... I invite you to see your life. The challenges you're having right now. The goodness in your life. The context and the bigger context of the entire arc of your life. The bird's eye view which they have access to, and through them, you can have a glimpse. Witness the arc of your life, how this current moment fits in with spaciousness and equanimity. And warmth and care, which they have for you, for you to have for yourself.

And together with this being of metta, of compassion, holding the entire arc of your life with metta, yourself with metta in the midst of it as much as possible in this moment.

May I be safe from inner and outer harm. May I be happy and joyful. May I be healthy and strong. May I meet my life with ease. The entire arc of my life in this moment as it arises, with as much ease as possible.

Holding this period of practice, however it was, with metta for yourself. Whether it was distracted, sleepy, however it was, holding it together with your metta mentor, with the gaze of metta and appreciation. Letting go of judgment. You showed up, you tried. Offering the goodness to all beings everywhere, including yourself.

May all beings know their own goodness. May all beings be free.

Thanks everyone. Thank you for your practice.

Reflections and Q&A

So we have time for reflections, questions, and comments. You can type them in the chat if you like. If sent to everyone, I will read your name; if it's just sent to me, I will not read your name. You're also welcome to raise your zoom hand if you wish.

What was this like for you to bring up your metta mentor, to see yourself? And did any of you also ask for support, for feedback, for advice, or wisdom? That's how I put it: words of wisdom.

Someone shares: "Kept falling asleep, but it was still wonderful to sit in the company of the Buddha." Oh, that's lovely, beautiful. Thank you for that first comment.

Allison says: "I am so filled with gratitude for this sacred space. Thank you to you all for being here." Oh, thank you Allison for acknowledging the sacred space that we co-create together.

Nicholas, please.

Nicholas: Yeah, I appreciated the metta mentor because being held in compassion from the metta mentor helped me see... I don't see compassion as mine, but I do see the presence or absence of compassion as my responsibility. And so, you know, when compassion is not available, there's a certain attitude of failure that this needs to be fixed. I think I hadn't noticed that clearly, and so this sit was very tender. Because it was very tender to sit in that space where compassion isn't really felt in this moment, and what does it mean that that's not my fault? That was a very tender place for me to sit.

Nikki: Hmm, I feel so moved, Nicholas. I feel so moved with what you named, sitting in this tender place. Yes, it is not my fault if compassion is not arising in this moment; it is the challenge in this moment. And for it to be seen with eyes of compassion... oh, I am moved. Yes, thank you. Thank you. What a beautiful opening, thank you.

Mark shares: "That was quite a special meditation. Thank you." Thank you, Mark. Thank you for your practice, and if you'd like to say more, if you like to expand, you are welcome to raise your hand. I don't want to put you on the spot. Yes, let's see. I'm going to ask you to unmute yourself there.

Mark: I was recently told that my final remaining, beautiful, sweet seven-year-old golden retriever has one to three months to live and will bleed out from a cancer in an awful way. I was sitting with asking my mentor, as it were, why this heartbreak and how to handle this heartbreak. And what came was, "Love is always the answer."

Nikki: Thank you, Mark. Thank you so much for sharing that. Love is always the answer, isn't it? I feel soothed as you say this, as you share the wisdom of your metta mentor in this situation, I feel soothed. Yes, love is always the answer, no matter what. Thank you for the blessing you shared. Thank you all for the blessing of your practice, of this sangha^[4].

Let us turn to practice in small groups—size three roughly—and sharing with each other. As always, we'll start with fifteen seconds of silent metta. There's so much that we can gain from each other, from what came up for us, from our metta mentor, words of wisdom, or the challenges that we sat with tenderness. It's all invited, it's all invited. So taking the first fifteen seconds with silence for yourself or others, with metta, with compassion, and then sharing as little or as much as you wish. Here are the rooms, they are created, and take care of yourselves, take care of each other.

(Break for small groups)

Great, welcome back everyone. Oops, I'm going to mute the phone. Zoom has a problem when we come back from groups, those who are on phone don't get muted. Anyway, welcome back.

We have a few minutes for reflections, questions, comments. So please don't be shy, especially if you haven't spoken for a while. I'd love to hear from you what you discovered, any part of it. And no one has commented on the part with equanimity yet, or with gratitude. Richard, please.

Richard: Am I unmuted now? Yes, you are. I mentioned this to my group: I've done this sort of thing before, and I imagine the loving presence smiling down at me. And when that happens, I sort of automatically, you know, return the smile. That really sort of lifts my spirits, kind of creating a real feedback loop of happiness.

Nikki: Nice, I love that. The receiving of the love, the receiving of the metta makes you light up, you smile back. It feels like a virtuous cycle instead of a vicious cycle. It becomes a virtuous cycle of smiling, giving, and receiving this smile. Thank you, I love that. And you're smiling now, Richard!

Richard: Yes, that's great! Exactly, it's the virtuous cycle.

Nikki: That's right. And so are so many other people in the sangha. I see in their videos, it's very sweet. Thanks, Richard.

Melanie says: "Just want to say thank you to my small group for being so supportive." Oh, that is so sweet. That's so sweet.

Oh, so dear ones, we have come to the end of yet another happy hour practice together. An hour of cultivating metta, compassion, gratitude, and equanimity. So thank you all. Thank you for the gift of your practice. Thank you for cultivating your heart, showing up for the sake of yourself and all beings everywhere.

May all beings be well. May all beings be happy. Thank you.