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Happy Hour: Abundance & Gratitude as Ways of Seeing

Introduction

Hello everyone, and welcome to Happy Hour. It's great to see you—those of you whom I can see. Let me make the audio a little more... okay, yes, I'm getting the thumbs up already. You know the routine, fantastic. Love it, great. We have about a minute until we formally get started. If you'd like to unmute yourself or if you want to type a hello in chat, I'll start: I'm Nikki, and I'm in Mountain View, California. Who wants to say hello?

"Hi, I'm Lisa in Berkeley." Hi Lisa, welcome from Berkeley. Hello Bill, welcome from Dallas, Texas. Bill says, "Grateful to be here." Kim, hello Kim, welcome from British Columbia. And hello Jesse from Canada, mettā^[1] to everyone, sweet. Anybody else want to say hello? "Hi, this is Linda from Utah." Hi Linda, welcome from Utah, good to see you. Claire from New York, hi Claire, good evening to you, late evening. And Paula from Maine, hi Paula, good evening to you also. "Hi, I'm Susan from Denver." Hi Susan, welcome from Denver, good to see you. Great, lovely. And Elizabeth from Sacramento. Yes, good early evening to you, Elizabeth from Sacramento. Good to see you, hi. Great, and hi everyone. Gary from Toronto, hi Gary, welcome from Toronto. Nice, great. "I'm Peggy from Redwood City^[2]." Hi Peggy, welcome.

Okay great, so let's get started. Folks will continue to roll in, and let's get the preliminaries underway. I'm going to ask you to mute yourself if you aren't already muted, and I will change the settings as I always explain, just in case we get visited by Zoom bombers, so that the ability to unmute oneself will go away. And all the chats during the guided meditation and the little talk will come to me. I'll start the recording as always to remember that. Here we go. Okay, great.

Welcome, welcome to Happy Hour everyone. Warm welcome, the day after the Thanksgiving holiday traditionally in the United States. Also today is Indigenous Peoples' Day, so yay!

The theme for this week has been practicing with gratitude in so many different ways. We've worked with gratitude; I invited us through a couple of different ways on Monday and Wednesday. And Tuesday, Diana had some other invitations. And yesterday, it was lovely that Dawn was able to support the community with other invitations, different ways to really consider gratitude and the interaction between gratitude and generosity. So we're going to continue this theme because we cannot have enough of the gratitude practice. As we've been sharing this week, how valuable this practice really is in the arsenal of not just our happiness (which is wonderful and great), but really in the arsenal of our awakening, waking up. Serving for the purpose of ourselves and to support others, to have a heart that feels full, that feels abundant, that doesn't have a sense of scarcity.

Tonight I wanted to touch into the interaction of abundance and gratitude, or a sense of abundance actually, and the practice of gratitude as a way of seeing. Not necessarily as what we do, but as a way of being, as a way of seeing.

I want to draw the parallel between, say, mettā, when we cultivate loving-kindness. We can cultivate it with phrases: "May you be well, may you be happy." There's a sense of doing, which is a wonderful practice. It's a great practice. And there's another way to do it, and both are fantastic, and sometimes one is available more than the other. The other way of practicing mettā could be a way of relating, a way of seeing, a way of awareness. Consciousness being imbued with a sense of loving-kindness, with a sense of love, that whatever is touched is touched with a sense of warmth, kindness, goodwill. So it's a way of seeing, it's a way of being, not so much doing. And again, both practices are fantastic, they both feed into each other, and they both support each other. And there's a slightly different way of relating to them.

In the same way, with gratitude, there can be a practice of gratitude when we are giving thanks, when we are writing in our gratitude journal what we are grateful for (which is a wonderful, wonderful practice), when we actually thank people in our lives whom we care about (which is again a wonderful practice)—the people who we care about or even we've taken for granted. So thanking people, thanking objects, it's a way of acting in the world. And there can be a way of seeing. Just seeing everything, seeing everything that arises with an eye of abundance and appreciation. Seeing people with a sense of abundance, with a sense of appreciation. And again, both ways of practicing are fantastic, and they feed into each other. I do want to name them as slightly different ways, complementary ways.

I want to say a couple more things before we start, and this is about the relationship between abundance and gratitude. From Jack Kornfield, his book A Path with Heart, which is a fantastic book, both as a primer to this path of practice and also if you've been practicing for a long time, it's a lovely book to go back to. There's a chapter about abundance and gratitude, and I'd like to share a couple of paragraphs, and maybe when we're doing the meditation I'll read a few more words.

But, yeah. So he writes, and I'll let this wash over you... actually, let's do it the other way around. Why not? Let's get started on our meditation so that we do the grounding with our breath, with our body as we always till the soil, and then when we open up to the practice of gratitude then I'll read a few excerpts from these paragraphs, and then we can really let that wash over us. Yeah, let's do it that way. Why not?

Guided Meditation

So I'd like to invite you to get into your meditation posture in this moment. If you need to shift and move, if you need to sit up straighter, or if you need to lie down, see what your body needs. Settling, arriving, landing.

Letting awareness sense, feel the contact points of the feet, of the legs with the floor or the cushion. Awareness receiving, kindly aware of the contact points of the hands.

Aware of the sensations of breathing. Expanding and contracting in the abdomen. And letting any tension that's held in the lower back drop into the cushion. Any tightness holding in the groin area, pelvic floor, let that drop also.

Letting the shoulders, the arms, the hands rest, drop. Face, letting the face relax, let the forehead soften. The eyes resting in the sockets, the jaw relaxing. The whole body dropping internally, dropping its weight internally. And just letting the breath be received in the abdomen.

Nowhere to go, nothing to do in this moment but to just let the breath be received. Taking refuge entirely, as if in a bubble of safety in silence for a few minutes.

And if thoughts arise in this moment, let them be like helium balloons, multi-colored. Let go of the gripping of the thread holding the thoughts, let them float away. Coming back to the breath being received in the abdomen. A moment of refuge.

As you're sitting and receiving the breath in the abdomen, one breath at a time, feeling the body, feeling embodied, feeling the breath aware, awake. Allow what I will read to wash over you, not so much to think about, but to let it be dropped into your body, resonating. As if a pebble dropped into a still lake, resonating, reverberating in your being. Not just in your head thinking about it. Let it be dropped, let it wash over you. You don't have to make sense of all the words for it to impact you. Trust.

So reading from Jack Kornfield's chapter Abundance and Gratitude, he writes:

The Indian sage Nisargadatta, one of my teachers, challenged his students, saying, "The problem with you is not that you have desires, but that you desire so little. Why not desire it all? Why not want complete fulfillment, joy, and freedom?" Nisargadatta did not mean boundless greed. He spoke from the state of consciousness that knows it is not separate from the world. We already contain that which we most deeply desire: life, love, inner freedom, connection to all.

I'll read it again. We already contain that which we most deeply desire: life, love, inner freedom, and connection to all.

The more we can realize this, the more we can undertake all things with a sense of abundance. Our inner abundance radiates a sense of worth, value, and ease, of having something to give to the world and enjoying doing so. Without abundance, we can be in the midst of riches and feel like a hungry ghost^[3].

The state of abundance is connected with a deep sense of gratitude. When we open to abundance, we can enjoy the fog lifting from the morning's melting snow and the steam rising from the hot bowl of tomato soup on our lunch table. The abundant heart is already whole. We have all touched this at some time. The abundant heart embraces our world, holding all its joy and fear, gain and loss, nobility and selfishness, enveloped in a field of compassion and love.

So what if what we desire, what we want, what we feel missing or lacking—what if we already are whole, connected to love, to all beings, unfathomably complete and beautiful, more than we can possibly imagine? What if this gift of being alive, gift of consciousness, this gift of agency as a human being has so many more dimensions and is so much richer than anything that we can possibly imagine?

What if we feel completely loved, whole, complete, healed, that we have everything we need, truly, in our humanity? What if we don't need it from the outside or from anyone or anything? What if it's already here? The sense of completeness, a sense of true nature, or Buddha nature^[4] as it's called, just radiating, already here. We're going around like a beggar asking others, needing for it to be filled, whereas it's already here. We have the treasure. The treasure's already here.

What if for a moment we actually decided to just give this thought, or this perception, this perspective, a chance? Just taking this perspective on, just taking it on for size. You can take it off right after this session, but for right now in this moment, oh it happens. If you take on the perception that you are whole, more than enough, everything you need, the abundance. There is a treasure chest in your heart. Feeling complete, abundant. Just for a moment, taking on this perception. Yes, yes you can. Yes you can. Just playing with it playfully. Just trying it on for size. Not needing anything from another, but a sense of abundance both for yourself and to give to the world. So much goodness, such richness already here. Breathing, breathing with this treasure chest. Having your body filled with a sense of fullness, abundance. It's already here. It's already here, just needs to be uncovered, discovered. It's already here. Feeling your body, feel your lungs fill, your abdomen with your breath, this fullness of this goodness, it's already here. Touching into it for just a moment is enough. It's possible to rest in it, that's great too.

Maybe imagining this goodness, this fullness, this richness like a bright light in your chest, in your heart center. It's already here, shining brightly. Usually it's not seen, distracted by wanting, needing. But realizing, wow, it's already here. It's bright, it's beautiful, it's abundant, it's fulfilling, healing. So bright that not only does it fill your own heart and body, but it can shine outside, shared with others. This richness, this goodness. A gift to anyone it shines upon.

And from a perspective of recognizing your own inner abundance, and for a second allowing this perception as it opens up to the world, so it opens up to people in your life. People who are dear to you or people who have supported you in any way—friends, benefactors—with a sense of abundance, and not needing anything from them but just shining your goodness. See if there can be a perspective of appreciation for them. Gratitude for them with a full heart. Appreciation for whatever might be arising in this moment, even if it's thoughts, self-judgment thoughts of, "Oh, you can't do this, you're failing, this is not working." Can there be a sense of abundance, appreciation even for these thoughts as teachers on your path? As they teach you self-care, self-compassion as you work with them, appreciating even this.

Can there be a way of seeing, a way of relating to whatever arises in your mind's eye—thoughts, people, things—with a heart that's full and has had even the slightest glimpse of its own true nature, of beauty, grace, and unfathomability, dimensionality. From this perspective, whatever is seen, can it be seen as a teacher? Can it be seen with eyes of appreciation, with eyes of generosity? This too. This too.

And for the last moments of this practice, letting this perception, this way of seeing with generosity, with appreciation, gratitude—they're all intertwined—to see whatever might be coming up at the end of this practice. Appreciating yourself for having shown up, this being that is you. And again, even if self-judgmental thoughts are coming up, seeing them with generosity, with kindness, with appreciation.

Thank you all for your practice.

Reflections

So with this practice of gratitude and the interaction with abundance and generosity, there are times just to say that the opposite can come up. You're trying to see your goodness, your true nature, your inner beauty, and maybe you touch into it for a second, or maybe not, and then the sense of the opposite comes up. That there's nothing here, I have nothing. Or everybody else has the inner Buddha, inner beauty, and true nature, but I was left out. So if these come up, it's okay. Turning towards them with compassion, it's okay. It's just like the practice of mettā and compassion, that the opposite can come up. These practices can be purification practices. Trying to practice gratitude or abundance, and the opposite comes up, it's okay. It's normal, it's natural, don't judge yourself. It's okay. Turn towards it with compassion, maybe with humor, you all have lots of different skills. Just recognize it's okay, and maybe you can even thank it in that moment: "This contraction... oh, thank you, because you're going to be my way of opening up into awakening." Because really, what's hard for us on this path are the doorways through which we open up to awakening. So gratitude also for what's difficult, because that's how we open up, that's how we become Nibbānized^[5], we wake up. It's through these challenges, it's how we build wisdom and compassion, is through these difficulties. So maybe having gratitude for them if they come up.

So with that, I'd like to invite you—if anyone would like to share any reflections or questions, what came up for you. You can type them in chat or you can raise your blue hand by going to participants, clicking on participants, a window opens, and it says "raise hand". That's how you can do it. If you raise your physical hand, I may not see you because I see only very few people given the privacy issues.

Jerry, please.

Jerry: "So, first of all, my apologies for being late. I had rushed to get here, and I had a difficult day with some sadness. My assistant just decided to leave after 18 years, and we've been close. So anyhow, that was sad. But I think what struck me was when you said, after being late, 'Well, it's just gratitude for being able to show up here.' And then it sort of switched, and I thought, 'Oh okay, there's a lot.' To try to just sit in that moment. And of course, after about 10 minutes I was like, 'Oh, this is different.' So that's how it's just the moment of saying gratitude to be here. Like I thought how many things have to go together for any of us to be here. So many things. Electricity, a whole bunch of stuff."

Nikki: Yes, so much. Thank you, Jerry. Thank you so much for sharing that. I also appreciate what you shared, which really highlights the theme that I was trying to invite people to kind of work with: this perception. Because in one moment, your perception, your way of seeing went from, "Oh, this is challenging, this is really hard" to "Oh, gratitude for being here." And that perception just shifted all the other perceptions that came later. So it just often it can just be one perception, and can turn things around. So thank you so much for sharing that, Jerry.

Gary says, "With infinite gratitude, thanks for such a beautiful meditation." Thank you, Gary. Thank you for showing up. Thanks for being here.

Eric says, "It's a wonderful meditation. Thank you. I connected the idea of wholeness with the heart and mind's resiliency and ability to heal." Oh beautiful. Lovely. Thank you, Eric. Thanks for sharing that, connecting the idea of wholeness with the heart and mind's resiliency and the ability to heal. Beautiful. Love it.

Okay, I see Violet's hand. Violet, please.

Violet: "Hi Nikki. I was wondering when you're sort of looking for your Buddha nature, like how do you know you've found it? Like how do you know you're there?"

Nikki: Yeah. So, not so much looking for it and finding. Trusting that it's already there. Trusting that this being that is you is so much more amazing and gifted and has the capacity for fully loving and being loved. It has so much more capacity than you, Violet, understand in the limited consciousness. So just allowing for that, it's like, "Oh yeah, it's already here." And if it's only a millisecond of trusting that—trusting that you don't quite understand—maybe that's it. So it's not a way of seeing it; trusting that you can't quite fully see it. Does that make sense, turning it on its head? It's not that you've seen it, it's not that we can't see it, but trusting that it's so beautiful and unfathomable that we can't quite get it. And there's so much more I can say about this, but does that give you an opening?

Violet: "Yeah."

Nikki: Okay, great. Okay, Kevin, I see your hand is up, please.

Kevin: "Hey. Um, hopefully I can keep myself together through this, but I initially had a hard time feeling whole, especially with the word 'whole', because for a long time I felt very broken. And so I was kind of struggling with it for a little bit until you said the word 'playfulness'. And that evoked images of childhood. And so I thought about myself as a child and I think I was pretty whole back then. And I realized that a lot of the things that we are and have as a child, I still have, even through the things I've been through. And then I started opening up and... yeah. Then I felt so much gratitude towards myself for still having that through all I thought I've been through. And it was really powerful to connect to myself again. Yeah, thank you."

Nikki: Thank you, Kevin. Thank you so much for your sharing. Beautiful. I'm deeply, deeply touched. Thank you for your courage to speak up and share the beauty of your wholeness and the playfulness with the whole sangha^[6]. I feel in the faces of the sangha that they're touched and really appreciating you and holding you with mettā. So thank you so much for sharing. Beautiful. And I love how in your practice, with creativity... because these are invitations. These are so many invitations that I give for folks to find their own way. And I love how your heart found its own way to when you were a child, and the playfulness, and then it turned to a sense of gratitude for yourself after all that you've been through. It's just beautiful. So thank you, Kevin, for sharing that. This has been so rich everyone.

Breakout Groups

Oh, time is flying by. Okay, time for groups, dear ones. Time for groups. So my invitation for practicing as we get into small groups is just sitting, maybe without words. Just sitting with feeling the Buddha nature of these other beings that are sitting with you. Just holding each other with a sense of abundance. You're looking at little Buddhas, they're looking at little Buddhas. So maybe start with some silence, and for those who are on the phone also, just feel held and being held. Maybe start there, and then maybe words will come up that you'd like to share. So tonight will be a little shorter, but let's start with just being held, holding and being held in each other's Buddha natures. It's here. It's already here, you don't have to see it. Trust that it's so amazing and bright that we can't quite see it with our human consciousness, but trust it's there. Try it. It is here already, I have no doubt.

So here we go. I'm going to create the breakout rooms. Oh, it's giving me trouble again, the usual. Let's see here. Okay, that's better. Okay, so all right, creating the rooms... numbers always shift at the very end. Okay, here we go. One more second. Okay, all right, they are open now.

[Breakout Groups]

Okay, the rooms will close in eight seconds and everyone will be back.

Okay, the rooms are closed, everyone is back. Welcome back everyone. Sorry it was a little shorter tonight because we had so many wonderful reflections earlier. But if anybody would like to share one last reflection about what it was like to be in the room tonight or practice. Again, you can raise your hand or type it in chat. Take one last reflection before we end. Yes, please, Michael on the phone.

Michael: "I had huge muditā^[7] and just huge joy hearing the reflections of my other two dharma friends. Such wisdom and wonderful positive reinforcement, and I just wanted to thank you for your sweet guidance this evening. And for also bringing in Dawn last night; she was a treat that we all enjoyed. So deep bows and thank you again."

Nikki: Great. Lovely. Thank you, thank you, Michael. And thank you everyone for showing up, and thank you also to Dawn for coming and supporting and holding the space and teaching and leading last night. With gratitude to everyone, all of you for showing up, for being this beautiful sangha and practicing both for your own benefit and to benefit all beings everywhere. Thank you all. Deep, deep gratitude for this sangha. May you all be safe, happy, healthy, and have lives that unfold with ease. May you be free, and may all beings everywhere be the same.

Thanks everyone. Thank you and see you on Monday. I'm going to ask you to unmute yourself if you want to say bye-bye. Bye-bye. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you all, take care, bye.