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Happy Hour: Offering Our Kindness as a Shining Light onto the World

All right, so formally, hello and welcome to happy hour. Lovely to be with you to practice together. Very much looking forward to our practice together, dear sangha^[1].

So for today's practice, I'd like to invite us to consider the cultivation of metta^[2], planting seeds of kindness, goodwill, for ourselves, for others. Basically, planting these seeds as the biggest gift perhaps that we can give to the world. Maybe not the biggest—maybe I don't want to set it up so big—but as a gift of our presence. As a gift, you know, we are passing through this earth; our lifetime is a flash relative to the cosmic time scale. So, of course, for many of us, our work in the world is important: maybe children, maybe relatives, etc. We all have different ways that we engage and give our gifts to the world.

What if we also consider planting the seeds of metta? Offering kindness in whatever shape or form it shows up, both for ourselves—this person who is me—as well as for others, other beings, as an expression of our gift, as a big gift that we can give. Not just, say, the work we do, maybe the books we write, the companies we create, whatever it might be, but how we do it. How these things are done. How we interact with people, how we interact with ourselves, with this person who is us, whom we are the guardian of. The only guardian of, really; the care of this person who is me has been entrusted to me. So not just what we do, but how we do it.

And actually, the how in the world being the bigger gift, leaving a lasting impression on people, on loved ones, on people we know and people we don't know. So that how, that gift of generosity, of kindness towards ourselves and others, to consider that. I offer that for our reflection.

And for guided meditation, I will invite us with some invitations for planting seeds. Whatever happens, if you find that this mind, this body is achy, is sleepy, is distracted, different thoughts arise, the opposite of metta arises, as long as you show kindness towards what is arising, you are planting seeds of metta. So even if, say, self-judgment arises, if you're kind—"Oh sweetheart, you're being very judgmental, you're having a hard time right now, you're having a hard day, hard evening"—you turn towards that. Even self-judgment, even if you turn towards it with kindness, you are planting the seeds of metta. This how that I'm talking about, this way of being in the world, this big gift, this legacy that we create, these reverberations that we create for ourselves and for others through each act of mind.

In Buddhism, thoughts are considered actions of the mind, the sixth sense door. The five are the regular five that we know, and the sixth one being the mind door: thinking, recreating all the other senses in the mind.

I think I've said enough to set the stage for our practice tonight.

Guided Meditation

So with that, I'd like to invite us now to arrive and settle in our bodies. You may need to move, to shift, to sit up straight, or to lie down, to stand. See what your body needs. See what your body needs to be able to be still and rest comfortably for the next 30 minutes of this guided meditation together.

Arriving. Arriving in this body. However the body is in this moment. Embracing, welcoming, appreciating that there is enough health, enough stability to show up in this moment. The body might be achy, tired. It's okay. Thank you, body. Thank you for supporting this mind, this heart, this awareness.

Inviting the body to relax, to soften, to let go of tightness, tension. Releasing the forehead, inviting it to be soft. Releasing the jaw, the face. Let the eyes rest in their socket. Invite your neck, your shoulders, to release the weight, the proverbial weight they've been carrying all day. It's okay. It's okay now. It's all right, sweetheart, it's okay.

Putting down thoughts, concerns. In this moment, taking refuge. Taking refuge in your heart, in your intentions, your kind intentions for goodness, for gladness, happiness for yourself and others.

Releasing your back, your chest, your abdomen. Let the breath be received in the lower abdomen, filling this cavity. Let it feel spacious, let it feel expansive, your abdomen. The breath is moving.

Releasing the tension in your sit bones and your upper legs. Releasing the weight onto the earth: the knees, the lower legs, and feet. As if any holding is offered to the earth as a weight dropping, dropping the weight of your legs or your sit bones. Let the breath move through. Notice I'm not saying to breathe, because the breath breathes you. You've been breathing all this time. No need to make it complicated into a project. Just let it happen as it has been happening. Simply notice that the breathing is occurring.

If any thoughts arise, it's okay. No problem. They will arise. Noticing thoughts smilingly: "Oh, dear thoughts, I release you with a smile," as if I'm letting a little birdie fly. Taking refuge in my heart, "And not now, please come back later." You may need to release thoughts smilingly a hundred times. Do it with kindness to yourself and the thoughts. Planting seeds of kindness one bird at a time.

And for the sake of our practice tonight, today, let there be an extra dose of kindness for whatever the mind notices. If it's the breath, the abdomen, can it be received with kindness, with appreciation, graciously?

If your awareness is drawn to a body sensation, maybe an ache or pain, can the sensation be massaged with kindness, with care? If a thought or entanglement arises, maybe you think of a person or a project or something, can there be extra kindness? Maybe a smile, maybe a little blessing of metta, friendliness, before you release the bird.

Bird by bird, whatever arises, kindness towards all these birds that arise, that land in your sphere of awareness. Awareness spacious like the sky. Birds of sensation, birds of thought, maybe even the breath as a bird. Smilingly offering seeds of kindness to the birds.

Especially if there are any challenges in your heart and your mind, extra kindness, care, soothing offered. You are doing your best. All the birds are doing their best. If anything could have been different, it would have been, and the causes and conditions are like this. Can we be kind to what is, to whatever is showing up, just as it is, yourself included?

Kindness, it's also an empowerment. See if you can notice, feel the empowerment, the strength of kindness in your heart as a gift.

And then sharing kindness, care, goodwill. Not only is there an empowerment that we feel in our heart, but it's a gift that in giving we receive ourselves, the goodness of it. Radiating kindness, goodness to whatever arises in this sphere of awareness. And as we offer kindness, radiate kindness, opening our heart to whomever arises, whoever shows up as a guest. Friends, family, neutral people, people we have challenges with. They are human beings just like me who want to be happy; they don't want to suffer. Offering friendliness, maybe a smile, neighborliness. May you be well. May all of us be well. See what's easy. Whatever comes easy to your body, to your heart, to your mind. Let your body be relaxed, at ease.

And I'd like to make another invitation. Feel free to explore this if it works for you. If kindness were like light, shimmering light, as you offered it to the world, to others, to yourself. Shimmering light that brings goodness, brings succor^[3], brings care to whomever it touches, whatever it touches. Whatever it shines upon, whomever it shines upon, brings gladness, goodness. It's an offering, as a gift. Again, not attached to outcomes, it's just an offering. It's a cultivation of our heart.

Now what if you imagined your whole body drenched in kindness, shining with this light, this shimmering light? And you offer yourself to the world. If your judgmental mind gets in the way—"Oh, I'm not that good, I'm not that kind"—it's okay, let that go for now. We're just exploring. Imagine, imagine for just a moment that you are the light, you are the gift of kindness. You offer yourself up wherever you are needed. Wherever this body, this heart, this mind is needed, you offer yourself up without hesitation. Offer your skills, your goodness, your time, your heart. You are the gift.

Let yourself be the gift. You are the good, in ways we cannot fathom of ourselves. Making ourselves the gift of kindness, of goodness onto the world. The light that shines. The light that shines without preference, unconditionally.

As we bring this practice period to a close, whatever arose or did not arise during this practice period, if there was sleepiness, distractedness present, not a problem. Offer kindness to whatever arose, offer kindness to yourself. Trusting that even if there is one moment of kindness, goodness, that's good enough. Offering seeds, planting seeds.

And collectively we share, we offer to the world our goodness from this practice. May all beings everywhere, all beings, may they know their own goodness, that they are a gift unto the world. May we all cultivate goodness, wisdom, kindness, and give ourselves and others the best gift of all: wisdom and kindness.

Thank you for your practice, everyone.

[Applause]

Reflections

So we have time for reflections, questions, comments for a few minutes. And you're invited to share what came up for you, if there was an aha moment or a challenge, as a way of giving a gift, offering the gift of your practice to the sangha. Often the ways in which we open up can be helpful for others. Dawn, please.

Dawn: Um, Nikki, yeah, thanks so much. That was... yeah, I had a really rough day and it was nice to be encouraged to be kind to myself and also to sort of whatever came up was okay anyway. So I wanted to really thank you.

Nikki Mirghafori: Thank you, Dawn. I want to thank you for coming here practicing, and also speaking up and sharing your practice, having had a hard day, a rough day, which many of us probably can identify with, and bringing kindness to whatever arose, especially with yourself. Beautiful. Thank you, Dawn.

Any other reflections? You can raise your Zoom hand. I won't see your physical hand because there are too many of us, or you can type in chat. If you type to me privately, I will not read your name, it will be private. If it's typed to everyone, I will read your name.

Other reflections, what was this like for you? Did anyone try the invitation towards the end to see yourself as a gift onto the world? How did that go? Was there a moment that actually that practice lit up for you, or was there a lot of judgment, "Oh no, not me"? Curious what happened, if you're willing to share. It's all good. Silence is fine too.

I see Claire's hand. Claire.

Claire: Thank you, Nikki. That was actually the part of the meditation that I appreciated the most. It's a practice that I've been observing for a number of years. And it was interesting, I was approached this week by a woman who's roughly in my age range, very accomplished, but not as accomplished as her friends, in her eyes. And I was trying to explain to her that the joy of living came from giving my skills away, not taking. And I couldn't get through to her. I felt so bad because she's very lonely and very unhappy because she sees herself as a failure. And we're not failures if we give what we've got. You know, it changes the whole dynamic.

Nikki Mirghafori: Yeah, absolutely. Well said, Claire, well said. It's not about getting, it's about giving. Yes. And we all have so much to give, every single one of us. Yeah, our time, our attention, our resources. Thank you, Claire, beautifully said. Thank you. Lovely. Mark, please.

Mark: To my surprise, I was able to get into that final image of just being light and goodness towards everything and towards everything that I might touch. I've been sitting with a meditation of Jack Kornfield's^[4] for the last couple of months where he ends up saying you can send out compassion, love, and blessings in every direction now, and that's how I've been starting my day every day for about the last 90 days. And your image, somehow I was able to really connect that to me. I am surprised. It's great. Thank you so much.

Nikki Mirghafori: Beautiful. Thank you, Mark. I'm just delighted to hear you've been doing this practice with Jack for the past 90 days and something about tonight's guidance really connected for you and lit you up. You know, it was a prepared mind, right? You've been preparing your mind for 90 days and something happened tonight, like, "Oh, things lit up." That's just beautiful. It's lovely. Yay! Makes me so happy, lights me up with joy for you. That's lovely. Thank you, thank you. Yeah, it's so sweet.

And I see someone who's clapping and it keeps appearing and disappearing. If you're trying to raise your hand, please try again. The raised hand function could be under reactions again. I see that... I think it's Hugh. Hugh, are you trying to raise your hand but doing the clap instead?

[Laughter]

What's up, Hugh?

Hugh: Uh, thank you, thank you, thank you. I had a really good experience with the meditation tonight. And when you spoke about that we are a light that shines, a gift to the world, you know, it reminded me of a biological thing called bioluminescence, right? I think I've seen a couple of people who were just overflowing with compassion and kindness and it seemed to my eyes like they were glowing.

Nikki Mirghafori: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's exactly right. Yeah, it's a beautiful image. We appreciate you bringing that in. Yeah, that's sweet, bioluminescence, exactly. Yeah, maybe I'll suggest that next time in the guided meditation for those who have seen that. That's lovely. Thank you.

Yeah, it's great. So the time has come for the invitation. As we've been spreading, as we've been shining kindness in our quiet heart space, what if we actually open our eyes and be in relationship with others, with a couple of other human beings who also are here to cultivate their hearts and kindness? And so in small groups, we'll be roughly of size three. The invitation is to share just one nugget. If you have five things to say from, say, the guided meditation, just share one nugget from your experience, again speaking just from your experience. And then the next person will offer a nugget or will be silent. They can say "pass," just holding kind space for the community, that's perfectly fine. And then the next person will say something or will share or will pass. And then you go round and round a few times until the time for the groups, which is about seven, eight minutes, would be over. And please speak from your own experience, not guiding, asking questions, or trying to facilitate the group. Just holding close with kindness to yourself, kindness to others, see what happens having practiced now to show up and share with this amazing sangha. This is such a beautiful sangha, really such a beautiful sangha to show up in this way together. So with that, I'm going to open the rooms. Take care of yourselves, take care of each other. Here we go. Okay.

The rooms are closed, everybody is back. Welcome back, everyone. And we've got just about a minute for any reflections that might have come up from connecting in groups. So... anyone, last words? I see smiles as usual coming back from the room.

Okay, I don't see any hands. I do see Deborah's words in chat: "The song lyrics came to me during the meditation: This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine." Great. May you all let your light shine unto the world. Yeah. Thank you all. Thank you for your practice, for coming together, for cultivating this practice for your own sake, for the sake of others. And may we all let our light of kindness shine onto the world. May all beings be well. May all beings be free, including ourselves. Thank you.