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Happy Hour: Care Awakens Joy

Introduction

So hello, hello, and welcome formally to Happy Hour. Makes me happy to be with you, to see you all this evening, afternoon, whatever your time zone might be, coming together and practicing.

So for today's practice, I wanted to invite us to engage in the practice of compassion and care, to explore that. As you might have seen, for those who've been coming or listening to Happy Hour, there are so many different aspects of these practices. There's just not one way to explore these practices; there are so many angles, so many dimensions, so many ways our hearts can open to these practices.

So for tonight, I'd like to invite us to explore a particular aspect, a way of exploring karuṇā^[1], the practice of compassion, which is where care, love, and warmth meets or holds suffering, either for ourselves or for others. And then there is the practice of this other beautiful word in Pali, anukampā^[2], often translated as care. This basic care, which we can think of as pervasive, just a sense of caring. Both of these practices are beautiful. So tonight, I wanted to invite us practically to explore them in our hearts, in our minds, in our mind-hearts. Again, the Pali word is citta^[3] (c-i-t-t-a), often translated just as mind, but actually, it's mind-heart, which is the more appropriate translation. So in our mind-heart, exploring care, anukampā, and exploring compassion, karuṇā.

Let's just explore together, fellow travelers, shall we? Ready? Yes, let's.

Guided Meditation

Okay, all right. So I'd like to invite you to get into your meditation posture, whatever is comfortable for you. You may be sitting, or standing, or lying down. As long as you don't fall asleep, it's not a problem. And if you are sitting, allow there to be a sense of integrity to your body. Letting your base, your sit bones, release to land into the chair, the cushion, in lieu of the earth. Ah, your base. Your base, well rooted, well connected. Your legs, your feet. Well rooted to the earth, they can offer their weight. Offer their weight to the earth.

Ah, releasing, releasing, releasing some more. And from this stable, heavy, connected, well-rooted base, a spirit tree connected to the earth. Ah, let your body rise up as if a tall branch of a tree, rising upon its own sense of integrity. Not needing to be pushed up, but rise up, rise up to the heavens with your goodness, with your aspiration. Ah, well rooted to the earth and well supported. And feeling expansive, expansive in this body, taking your rightful place on this earth. Taking your rightful seat. As the Buddha touched the earth the night of his enlightenment: Does earth be my witness? I am here. I belong here. This earth be my witness. We touch the earth with our bodies. We are here, here.

Let the breath, let this life-giving breath move through your body. Let it be received, received in the abdomen on its own. Notice I don't invite you to breathe, because the body knows how to breathe. We don't want to make it into a project. Simply knowing that light touch, that breathing is happening here it is, being breathed in, being breathed out. Resting, resting. Receiving this gift, this gift of the breath. This life-giving, enlivening breath, this friend. This friend. Not to be taken for granted. Enjoying the breath, appreciating the breath. Imagine you jumped in a cool lake on a summer day, and you jumped a little too deeply. It took a while to come back up to the surface, and when you come back up to the surface of the water, oh, this breath, I've been waiting for you, delicious. Ah, let it be enjoyed. Natural breath.

If thoughts arise, not a problem at all. Thoughts will arise, sounds will arise. It's okay, it's all okay. Arising and passing. Greeting the thought with a smile. Maybe for the benefit of this practice period, gently telling the thought, thank you, and not now. Please come back another time. I'll be waiting for you, but now I'm giving my heart to this practice, to this cultivation.

Turning, turning the awareness inward. Internal. Calming, soothing breath in the body received. Just tilling the soil another few minutes just to settle before we turn to explore care and compassion. But here, this breath. Received. Releasing tension, releasing thoughts. Releasing and re-releasing, intending, being with cozily, lovingly with this body. Knowing, feeling that the breath, as it's received, it's like stroking, petting a cat. Our hearts, our minds can start to purr with ease and delight just with this simplicity.

Now I'd like to invite you, as we continue to stay embodied, feeling the body and the earth, touching the earth, receiving the breath, releasing tightness, opening, continuing to feel the body. I invite, if you want, this image into your heart for reflection. And the image I invite is an image of care. We've often seen interspecies caring for each other. Perhaps you might have seen videos on the internet. If you've seen one, you can pull one up, or I'll describe one: a dog caring for, playing with young chicks, playfully, caringly. A dog mothering chicks. Or whatever image arises for you. Often, observing another being caring, caring so much, caring, protecting, keeping safe another being. It kindles, it rekindles a sense of care, softness, as we recognize the sense of care. Or maybe an image, a sense of a hen loving, protecting its own chicks, or a duck its ducklings. Sweet little furry animals. Young ones being cared for, protected in safety by others. Witnessing care in your mind's eye. Let yourself rest in this and see what it arises in you, in your heart, witnessing care.

Feeling into the sense of care, witnessing another being cared for. Maybe it kindles, reminds you of a being. Maybe a pet, maybe a child, or maybe an older parent that you have cared for. Or maybe a friend, someone you have cared for, deeply cared for. There may be perhaps a tableau, an image of a moment when you cared. Maybe you fed them, kept them safe, cleaned them, took them to a doctor. Deep care. Let yourself appreciate, let yourself recognize your own care, your own capacity to have cared. This is not a time to remind yourself of all the ways you haven't cared or you fell short. This is not the time. Letting go of any self-judgment that may arise, and just feel into the care. Let your heart appreciate, feel into its own care, expression of its love for another being. Let the sense of care brighten your heart. Brighten. Bright light shining, gladdening.

And maybe there is a being in your life right now that you care for, you care about. Feeling into the sense of care, not clingy care, not with attachment or outcome, but an easy, just a sense of care. This being, person, cause is important to you. You care. Letting the care be felt, let it be bright. Let it be nourishing to you. Care is nourishing.

And can we turn this care, the eyes with which we gaze through, gaze with care, turn around and gaze at ourselves with care? Care for this being who is me myself, along with others. Not separate. Not separate. This being who is me, just as worthy, just as worthy of protection, happiness, health, well-being, and care. To take care as if you were both the chick and the den mother.

Now transitioning or bringing in the practice of karuṇā, compassion, to bring up perhaps some mild challenge you've been having recently. Let the sense of care hold this challenge. Not self-blaming, or you should have done this, it's your fault. No, none of that. Or sweetheart, this is hard. This is hard. Anyone going through this would be having a hard time. This is hard, dear. It's okay now. Now holding yourself with care, tenderness, compassion. Meeting, meeting the hurt with love, with care.

Perhaps extending the metaphor: if you see yourself as one of the chicks, maybe you're having a bit of a challenge. Maybe you're the one that's running behind, doesn't get enough food, is the smaller one. So the mother hen cares more. Oh, sweetie, sweetie, let me care for you. Opens the heart more, even more, to care for this precious, precious being that is you. Your own care for yourself. Now, now, it's all right, dear. It's okay, sweetie. I care for you. I'm here for you. And I acknowledge this is challenging. This is hard.

And extending, extending our care, our compassion to others. Perhaps to the being from earlier that in our mind's eye we're feeling our care for. Imagine if they had a challenge, our heart would be moved to a tenderness of compassion, meeting the hurt, meeting the challenge with even more love and care.

And for the last minutes of this practice period, extending our care and our compassion, our everyday care, to all beings everywhere. And all beings who have challenges, difficulty, suffering, which is all of us. No one is immune. Extending our compassion. May all beings everywhere have ease. May all of us beings everywhere have grace in the midst of our pain or sorrow or suffering. May we have ease. May all beings everywhere, including ourselves, be free.

Reflections and Q&A

Thank you all. Thank you for your practice. So, care and compassion. In this practice, we engaged, we felt into a sense of care, what I call everyday care. Just caring, caring. And then that care can be expressed as compassion where it meets suffering. And there's different qualities, different nuances to these flavors, and they're both beautiful, they're both lovely. And also, what I was inviting you to feel into at the beginning is sometimes when we feel the care of another being for another being, oh, that brings up the sense of care in our heart. It enlivens for us.

So there's a lot of invitations in this practice, and I am curious, I'd love to invite you if you wish to share reflections, questions, comments. And this is for the benefit of both yourself to be held, to witness if you'd like, and also for the benefit of the community. All questions are important, valuable, and aha moments. Whatever you'd like to share, you can type them in chat also, or you can raise your Zoom hand. If it's your physical hand, I may not see you.

Fred, please.

Fred: I thank you. Today I received a copy of a letter that I wrote 60 years ago to one of my cousins when I was 10. And I could picture myself at 10 writing that. And this is to a cousin who's since been estranged from the family and who I haven't seen in many years. But it helped me see myself in the part of the meditation tonight where we're extending this care to ourselves, which I always find difficulty doing. But being able to see myself as that 10-year-old and seeing the actual handwriting on that letter, and actually recalling the moment 60 years ago when I did that, made that much more palpable and accessible to me. And very sweet. Thank you.

Nikki: Thank you, Fred. So sweet, thank you for sharing this. How precious to be able to have access again to this letter, and for it to serve as a way to access the feeling of turning the sense of care to yourself. Beautiful, thank you for sharing this. And really bringing how palpable this is, I could feel it in your words. I wonder if you have considered, as you practice mettā^[4], care, compassion, all the brahmavihārās^[5] for yourself, whether remembering this letter and or putting it somewhere where you can look at it frequently, the 10-year-old's handwriting, would be a way in. It's, as Leonard Cohen says, the crack is where the light gets in, and this is such a beautiful, precious letter for the light to continue to pour in. Just a thought. Yeah, and you're welcome to unmute or not.

Fred: Yeah, that's a great idea. [Laughter] I'll do that.

Nikki: Sweet. Thank you so much, Fred. My heart is so gladdened hearing this story exist. Thank you. Yeah, any other reflections? You can raise your Zoom hand, you can type in chat. If you type to everyone, I will read your name. If you just type it to me alone, I won't read your name, but just the reflection or the question that you sent. Anything else that came up for you? Appreciation coming from YouTube. You're welcome, thank you for practicing along, our YouTube community.

Susan, please.

Susan: Yeah, well, during the meditation I thought of an example of compassion that really touched me then and it did now. I thought of it, and it was watching a video about President Carter and Habitat for Humanity visiting. They were building all these houses for Hurricane Katrina victims, and I remember it just warmed my heart, and I felt so good watching that, just them doing this action. And then the reactions of the recipients getting housing again, and that they were so blown away by the kindness of these strangers.

Nikki: Yeah, yeah. Isn't that interesting, Susan? Yeah, someone else's kindness, generosity, their care, it just makes us happy, right? It lights us up. Just like your face was lit up as you were talking about President Carter and Habitat for Humanity. And I've heard about this, I haven't seen the clip, but I've heard that even as he's been very physically aged and not as young as you, he still continued to do this, continuing to care and serve in this way. That's very sweet. Thanks for bringing that in.

Jenny, and then we'll have to go, we'll go into groups, so we'll make this brief. Yeah.

Jenny: Just for that moment, I could let go of that moment. Now, that I didn't have anything else in that moment. Just that moment, and then it wasn't there, and then it was there, and then it wasn't. And it's my breath, and my desire to be now. In the now. That's it.

Nikki: Thank you, Jenny. Thank you. Yeah. And Jen on YouTube says, Just hearing the words Habitat for Humanity and Carter lifted my heart. Ah, it's sweet. Yeah, yeah, ah.

And here's a reflection coming in: Today I chose not to drink like I have been doing. So happy truly. The pain I have been trying to keep at bay is hard to sit with, but you helped me sit gently with it today. Thank you for this. Ah, and thank you for bringing yourself, for coming to this container and practicing, supporting yourself with this practice, the person who sent me this reflection privately. And thank you for being here and supporting others with your practice. Yeah, thank you, thanks for being here. Yeah, and sitting, and sitting with what is hard. It's not easy. And yet, the way towards awakening, to freedom, is through the pain, is sitting with the pain with kindness and compassion. Not around it, it's not going to go away, we all know this. Yeah. Thank you for that.

Breakout Groups

So dear ones, the time has come for us to turn to each other and support each other ourselves where the rubber meets the road in practicing in small groups. So I'll make the small groups in a moment, and the invitation is, as always, to speak from your own experience, not managing other people's experience, the group, etc. But just sharing, if you like, a few words from your own experience. And if when your turn comes you want to pass and just hold silent space, great. You can just say pass and hold compassionate, caring space for others. What a gift. Your presence is a gift. Your presence is a gift to others.

And let's go with reverse alphabetical order, just for the fun of it. And each person will say maybe a word or two, a nugget, and then the other person will say a nugget, and then the third person, and then you'll go around and around maybe a few times. And just sharing as little or as much as you wish about what this was like for you, being held witness by others, and caring... caring for yourself. Not getting in your head like, what am I gonna say to be impressive? Just, it's okay, just say a little and caring for others. So, about to open the rooms with care and kindness. Here we go.

[Breakout sessions]

Okay, welcome back everyone. Everybody's back. The rooms are closed. We have just about a minute for any reflections that might have come up in group, so don't be shy. Especially if you're new. Not to put anyone on the spot, you can type in chat, raise your hand, any insights, or we can just close.

Richard.

Richard: Hi, I just wondered if you survived the interview with Sam Harris.

Nikki: If I survived it? Yes, it was intense. [Laughter] I loved it. Wasn't, wasn't it clear? I had a great time. We had a great time.

Richard: Oh good, good. I'm glad to hear it.

Nikki: [Laughter] It's sweet, yeah. Yeah, thank you, Rich. I was recently interviewed by Sam Harris for his app, Waking Up. And yeah, it's... Sam deeply cares, speaking of care, which is the topic for tonight. Sam deeply, deeply cares. Deeply cares. Both not just for himself and family, but for others, for their waking up, for humanity, for the world, he deeply cares. And I really, really appreciate that about him.

So, thank you all. Thank you all for your practice, for your care, for being here, for supporting each other, supporting yourself. May all beings be happy, may all beings be free, including ourselves.