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Introduction

Hello and welcome, everyone. Hello, friends. It's lovely to be with you. It's so comforting, really soothing, and happy-making to come together in the sangha^[1] and practice. Even if you've been away for a while, or it's your first time, warmly, warmly welcome.

For today's practice, I'd like to offer a practice of returning to our center, returning home. Returning to our center with metta^[2]. This is especially important when we lose our balance. Whether from the challenges of the day, challenges of the environment, external or internal events—when we feel like we've lost our balance, we've lost our equanimity, we've lost our metta, we've lost our center. I'd like to invite us to practice with metta, loving-kindness, today. Doing this for ourselves and for others is a way of steadying, nourishing, and nurturing the heart, and bringing in this aspect of equanimity.

That is the invitation, and there is not much more I will say, because whatever you need to know will be offered to you in the guided meditation. Whether you are new or experienced, as they say, relax and enjoy the ride. Whatever arises is what needs to arise, given all the causes and conditions of our heart, our mind, and our life. As long as you have kindness towards whatever arises—even if it's a crowd of sorrows, distraction, or sleepiness—bringing kindness to what's arising helps you cultivate metta and cultivate stability.

Whereas, if you get whipped out of shape—like, "Oh, I'm trying to meditate here and I'm distracted, ouch"—that makes you even more unkiltered. Whatever arises, as long as you bring kindness to it, it will help you find your center, find stability, and peace right here, right now, so that we can be of service to the world, to others, and to ourselves. [unintelligible] just be of service. It is a much better place to be in a place of stability to serve our life and others, rather than a place of reactivity.

I think that's all I want to say to set the stage for our practice today. With that, I'd like to invite us all to shift into our meditation posture. If you need to lie down, that's okay. If you need to sit up straighter, or stand up, do whatever this body needs in this moment in order to be comfortable for the next thirty minutes or so of the guided meditation.

Happy Hour: The Soothing Balm of Coming Home to Center

Landing in this body. Landing in this body in this moment. Let's find the center of our gravity. Checking in with the body. Let the center of gravity be lower. Not in our head, in our thoughts, but lower, lower, lower. Maybe in our abdomen. In our sit bones. And from our sit bones, from where we are sitting, let there be a sense of verticality. A sense of uprightness. As if there is this centered pull that goes through, that touches our sit bones, our heart, our head. Connected to the earth, all the way energetically. Maybe it's just this brightness, this sense of settledness.

And again, let the center of gravity be low. Releasing, relaxing the body. Maybe for a few minutes, we'll just sit with the breath that's moving up and down through this axis. This vertical axis connecting our heart, to our head, to our gut, to the earth. Finding our balance, finding our center. Let the breath move on its own along this axis, freely. If it needs to hang out in the sit bones area, let it relax and release the sit bones, your seat. Maybe it needs to hang out by the heart area, to release and relax the heart, the seat of the emotions. Or, if you're feeling sleepy at this point, maybe the breath gives a sense of uplift, opening the heart, the head, the mind, through a whole-body sense of vitality, uplift, and more wakeful energy. And if there's anxiety present, or nervousness, then let there be more attention given to the lower part of this vertical axis—your sit bones, your feet, the earth. Grounding, grounding, settling. Finding your center, your balance, your grounding. Touching the earth.

Let the body be relaxed, released. It's easier to be at our center when the body, the heart, and the mind are at ease. We naturally fall into our center. Stop stirring it up. Just being breathed. Maybe like the Buddha sitting under the Bodhi tree. When Mara^[3], distractions, doubts, and challenges were assailing him, he touched the earth. "This earth be my witness. I belong here. I'm here." A sense of groundedness, stability, centeredness, home. Let your whole body touch the earth. Let your heart be connected through this verticality of this axis.

And as we let our heart, our body be breathed, one breath at a time, with each breath, we return home. We find our way home. We feel at home at our center, in our humanness, with our goodness. Our intentions to grow, to learn, to love, to serve, to continue to be better versions of ourselves, better angels of ourselves. With each breath, connecting to our heart, to our center of being. Our center. Our home. Goodness, kindness, goodwill as our home. A place to rest our tired mind, our tired heart, our tired bodies. A welcoming, kind place. This chamber. A safe chamber.

And if challenges arise, sadness, or self-judgment, if anything arises while you are home in this chamber of safety in your heart, let them feel safe too. It's okay. Oh, self-judgment. Oh, the statement. It's okay. Rest, rest. Rest in the love, the care, and the warmth, the complete acceptance here in this home, this chamber, this refuge of the heart. Feeling nourished, feeling calmed. It's okay, it's okay. Sit. Rest. Rest. Be breathed. Reconnect. Be held with kindness, aspiration, goodness, love. The essence of friendliness for yourself, for all of your life.

Can you welcome yourself wholeheartedly? This lost beloved who is you, who is yourself. As if reunited with yourself. Welcome, where have you been, sweetheart? Rest, relax. Feast on your life. Feast on the goodness that is here. Holding yourself as you would hold a dear, dear one. With care, with appreciation. If you're tired, if you've been working hard, invite yourself to rest in your arms, holding. It's okay, sweetheart. It's okay, it's okay. What do you need?

Welcoming yourself home. What happens if you really welcome yourself home with kindness, with complete acceptance? For just a moment, see what might happen. What might open up with kindness, acceptance, just as you are, in this moment.

Welcome home, sweetheart. There's nothing you need to do or be. It's hard enough. Just rest. May you know that you're loved and accepted just as you are. Let your heart be nourished. Safe. Safe in your own heart. A place of refuge, kindness, acceptance. Maybe even forgiveness if it's needed. And can everything else feel safe in this space? The thoughts, distractions, perhaps aches, pains, random sounds. It's okay. This place of refuge, everything touched with kindness, with an open heart embraced.

Home. Kindness. Metta is our home. Healing, soothing, centering. Centered in kindness, in generosity for others, for ourselves. Centered in aspirations. Home. Centered. Home.

By coming home, connected—oh, maybe a sense of trust arises. A sense of stability, trust, confidence emerges. And as we bring this sit to a close together, connecting to your heart again, to your body, to the sense of alignment, verticality, connected to the earth, rising up to the heavens, expanding aspirations. With open arms and offering generosity, kindness to whatever arose or did not arise this practice period. You showed up, you did your best. It had to be exactly as it was given the causes and conditions.

And together, offering our practice, offering our goodness as if we're spreading confetti over the whole world. Joyously offering this goodness to all beings everywhere, including ourselves. May all beings everywhere feel centered. Feel at home in their own heart, bodies, mind. Feel soothed, nourished. May all beings everywhere, including ourselves, be free.

Reflections and Q&A

Thank you all. Thank you so much for your practice. What a gift. What a gift that you show up. You show up again and again for yourself and for others. What a gift. What a gift.

The Buddha says that the gift of the dharma^[4] is the highest gift. Some people think of that as just teaching the dharma, or dharma gifts, or books. But actually, this showing up, this practice that you show up for—this is a gift of the dharma. The gift of your practice is the highest gift. It's the highest gift that you make of yourselves; you offer yourself up. So beautiful. Such a beautiful expression of your humanity.

We have time for reflections. If you'd like to raise your hand to share your reflections as a gift to the sangha, you can also type in chat. If you type it to me privately, I will only read your offering, not your name. If it's typed to everyone, then I will read both your name and the offering.

Debra: I've been typing a lot, but today I just want to gush. I just want to say that in tonight's practice, I was just so present to this balm for the soul that this practice offers, and that you offer. It was particularly strong for me because I've had dental surgery, and I went off the pain meds this morning. But whenever you finally lie down, you realize the pain. So I jumped up at the beginning of the meditation and I grabbed a Tylenol^[5] because I realized, "Oh, it's coming back." Then, as you were speaking, I just held my jaw. I hadn't gotten down to that level of realizing, like, "I've hurt my body, this really hurt my body." And so I sent all this loving-kindness there, and yeah, it just was like a balm. Thank you so much. I've searched in other places, you know, I used to go to Green Gulch, and I always felt like I wanted to find a loving Buddhist practice, and I hadn't experienced this until I started coming to the Insight Meditation Center, which I'm sure exists elsewhere, but thank you.

Nikki: Thank you so much, Debra, for sharing. Beautiful, thank you. Yeah, and surgery is just trauma to the body. It's hard, right? And when we sit we realize, "Oh, this sweet, poor body, you're traumatized." It's not just the jaw or the teeth; it affects the whole nervous system. Yeah, so welcome home, Debra. Welcome home. Yeah, soothing balm. Thank you, thank you so much.

Jesse: Thanks, yeah, this was a really amazing practice. I love the imagery of coming home, and you mentioned self-forgiveness and coming back to center. It's so timely for me. My mom mentioned to me about eight days ago—she's bringing up some end-of-life paperwork. My mom's 76 years old and in good health. I'm really grateful that she's being proactive about it, but I just felt clenching and tightness in my chest, and just feelings of overwhelm and grief. Just this whole idea of coming back to center, coming home, and self-forgiveness for any dukkha^[6] or suffering that arises. You know, this is why I've been practicing. All these ideas about impermanence and recollection of death are coming to bear now. And I just also want to share another gift I have. Right as you said something like, "Can you accept yourself as you are?" some type of ambulance emergency siren went by, which is unusual for my suburban neighborhood, and these dogs started howling. It's just this evocation of impermanence. You know, it's like, yeah, this grief and this overwhelm, this arises and it passes away, just as because you also mentioned sounds, you know, random sounds at the same time. So wonderful practice, and thank you for guiding tonight.

Nikki: Thank you, Jesse. Thank you so much. So beautifully, beautifully said. Thank you for your practice. Balm for the soul. Mima?

Mima: Hi, Nikki, thank you. I think this practice tonight was so rich. Initially, I've been learning how to rest. I've never known how to rest. So tonight, when you were talking about resting, and I've been learning how to do that, it was like, "Oh my word, this is so perfect for me right now." What I really appreciated was when you mentioned inviting judgment to rest—like all of the things that could come up, to allow it: "Come here, let's rest. Let's just be right here." And the kindness about how we approach it, how we can approach it with kindness. It reminded me of something about Thich Nhat Hanh, something I heard this weekend, which was: you don't have to know what it is, just treat it with kindness. Whatever it is that comes up, treat it with kindness. I really felt like it tied in a lot for me, that I was able to even turn it on myself, and my heart just welled up. I cried. It was like, "Yeah, be kind to me. Be kind to me. I'm tired. I am tired, and I need to be kind." And it just released my tears, and I was able to rest in that and let it go. So thank you, tonight was really, really rich. Thank you.

Nikki: Thank you, and thank you, Mima. You thank me, and I thank you, and everyone in the sangha for their practice. Thank you so much for your beautiful reflections and sharing your practice. Yeah, and we're often tired. Life is life, right? In the past, I've said that every one of us deserves a Purple Heart medal for being human. It's not easy being human, in this human realm. It's not easy for every single one of us. I mean, of course, there are joys, there are ten thousand joys, and then there are ten thousand sorrows and challenges. Yes, sweetheart, you are tired. Yes. Yeah. Beautiful. Thank you, Mima. Thank you.

So, dear ones, Bill has asked: "Was this coming home exercise the same as concentration?" Not necessarily. Not the same, they're not equivalent. There is an aspect of coming home, keeping coming back, keeping coming back, that could be a part of a practice of shamatha^[7], samadhi^[8], concentration. But the way I was leading it today was more about coming home to a sense of rest, heart ease. I was emphasizing that aspect of it. So there was a little bit of—I think with concentration practice there is a sense of coming back, resting, so there's a little bit of that, but they're not the same. If there was a Venn diagram, there's some overlap with the practice tonight, but not the same. Yeah.

So, dear ones, dear sangha, dear Happy Hour family. Whether you just joined for the first time or you're part of this family, you're here. The invitation we have at this point is to connect with a couple of other members of this sangha with kindness. It's where the rubber meets the road. Just offering kindness to yourself, offering kindness to others, and the soothing balm—can we all rest in a soothing balm together?

The invitation in the small groups is to offer maybe one thing about yourself, how the practice was, speaking from the first-person experience. One nugget. Then the next person will say one nugget, and then the next person will say one nugget, and they'll come back to you. Not a long monologue, but just one nugget, knowing they will come back to you. Just from your own experience, not asking questions or directing or facilitating, just offering your own humanity as a gift to the sangha: "Here I am." Also, if it comes to your turn, you can say "pass" and just hold silence. That's perfectly fine, too, if you want to offer kind witnessing to the sangha.

With that as our intention for practice tonight, I will create the breakout rooms. Take care of yourselves, take care of each other, be kind, and enjoy the few minutes of conversation with the sangha. It's precious. So, here we go.

[Breakout rooms begin and end]

Okay, all right. The rooms are closed. Everybody's back. Welcome back, everyone.

We have just about a minute for any concluding reflections or comments from practice tonight, or sharing in sangha tonight. Any last reflections you'd like to share, or questions, or challenges? Anything is welcome. You can type in chat or raise your hand. Dave?

Dave: Hi Nikki. Thanks. I was trying to remember—there's a phrase you used for the pile-on, you know? So when you make a mistake, like I just did in clicking the "leave breakout room" button when I didn't mean to, you then start piling on yourself and injuring yourself. There's a phrase you've used that's much more succinct for how you hurt yourself after hurting yourself.

Nikki: Ah, self-flagellation? I don't know, or a...

Dave: Second arrow! Yeah, that's it, thank you.

Nikki: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Second arrow^[9]. It's not my phrase, it's the Buddha's teaching, so he gets all the credit. I'm just repeating it back. But actually, there's a whole sutta^[10] about the second arrow. It's a beautiful teaching. It's a beautiful teaching about how we engage, and it has to do with the teaching of vedanā^[11], actually. That beautiful set of vedanā being the feeling tone: pleasant, unpleasant, neutral. When there's something unpleasant, we just pile on, and we add the second, and third, and fourth arrows. So yes, it's the second arrow. And yes, Rada, and Deborah, and Neil—all of them are jumping in! I love it. I love it, this sangha is jumping in with the answers. I love it, this is so sweet. Yeah, thanks for bringing that up, Dave. That's great. Second arrows. Yeah, beautiful.

Well, thank you so much, all of you. Thank you for sharing, for your practice, for showing up. May you be well. May you be happy. May you find your home when it's been lost. Come back to the center with care, with love. Thank you all. Let's dedicate the merit again. May all beings be well, may all beings be free. Thank you all. Take good care. I'm going to stop the recording.