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Guided Meditation: Wholesome Desire in Meditation

So good day everyone. Hello.

We are gathering for this time of meditation, a time of mindfulness, and a certain kind of intimacy or closeness to our experience. Some people might say to ourselves.

I'd like to begin with these ideas, that because clinging, craving, and grasping are all forms of desire, in Buddhist circles sometimes desire has a bad reputation. Sometimes we have desires together with expectations, or a lot of ideas of success and failure. Desires can be connected to a lot of suffering, and therefore, because of that connection, it can have a bad reputation. Because of this bad reputation, Buddhist practitioners will sometimes undervalue the importance of desire, and maybe even haven't really learned how to engage desire in a useful and even necessary way.

Desires can be present without clinging, craving, or grasping. Desires can be present without the trap of expectations, or the traps that come along with ideas of success and failure. Desires are really essential on the Buddhist path, the Buddhist path of liberation. If we keep thinking we're not supposed to have any desires, then it's hard to engage in that path.

How to have desires that are open-handed, that are relaxed, that are open? Desires that set the direction in which we go, but don't set an expectation of success or failure. How to have desires that, in having the desires themselves, it is a kind of liberation? It's a kind of freedom that's found there, a kind of ease and peacefulness that's found there. That's kind of the task: to discover how to hold desires, discover how to use them in ways that are freeing and beneficial for us, and not harmful for us.

So desires are wholesome, skillful. When we meditate, there's a desire to be present. The desire to be here and now, a desire to stay connected to the breathing and have a continuity, just staying with the breath, and letting everything else fall away to the side. Somewhat like a boat going through water; the boat doesn't stop because of the water by itself. It is not blocked by the water. It moves through the water, and the water gets washed to the side of the bow along the hull, and you leave the water behind in the wake of the boat.

The same thing happens when we have certain kinds of desires in meditation. They are meant not to deny things or ignore things, but there are a lot of things that the mind does that we get caught in that are simply not useful, simply not beneficial, or not for our higher welfare. It's nice to just let those things fall off. The desire to stay on the breath. There's also the desire to do so kindly, to do so with friendliness. To be a kind meditator, or a loving meditator, or one that's diligent. One that is resolved to do this—strong desires resolve—but does so in a kind way, in a loving way, in a friendly way too.

Of course it's hard to be kind or loving, but even the desire to do so is a beautiful thing. Even if we can't do it, the desire to do it can be a beautiful desire. It can be a wonderful, "Oh, I have this desire," and then to celebrate having the desire to be having loving-kindness, the desire to be kind, and not get too hung up on the fact that you're not. The desire can be nourishing and supportive.

In this sitting, perhaps you can experiment and explore how you can have a desire for meditation, or desires for meditation that help you to settle down, get calmer, quieter, focused, more present here.

Assuming a meditation posture, and closing your eyes if that's comfortable for you.

Having a simple desire to relax. To do so, you can take a few long, slow, deep breaths, and on the exhale, relax your body. If you're sitting upright, don't lose the uprightness as you relax, more like relax around the uprightness.

Deep in-breath, and then a long exhale to settle in.

Then letting your breathing return to normal. Also, in a few exhales, relaxing further. Relaxing the muscles of the face. Relaxing the shoulders. Relaxing the belly.

With as much gentleness as you can, see if you can also relax your thinking mind. Calming your thinking. Quieting your thinking.

Then to settle your attention on the body breathing, the body sensations that come into play as you breathe, wherever it's easiest for you to do so. Gently but clearly to have the desire to be present here now. The desire to not wander off in thought. A desire to be with your breathing. And a desire to do so with goodwill, with kindness. Maybe even with love. If you can't have goodness and kindness and love, I appreciate that. But if you have the sincere desire that that would be good, having that desire is enough.

Having that desire itself can be wholesome and supportive, nourishing, as you stay breathing in and breathing out.

Remembering the desire to be present. Perhaps there's a way of having that desire which is simple, wholesome. It just feels good to have the desire. The desire to be present, not lost in thought.

Then as we come to the end of the sitting, is there a way that from this, whatever calm or subtleness that you have, or whatever connection you have with yourself at this point, that you can turn your attention outward for the simple desire to have goodwill for others? If that goodwill can arise, wonderful. If not, simply having the desire for it makes a difference. It can be beneficial for you to turn your attention outward to the world of your community, friends, family, people who you read about in the news, and see if you can come out of your meditation with the desire for their welfare.

So there's a bridge between meditation and the world in which you live, and that bridge is your goodwill.

May all beings be happy. May all beings be safe. May all beings be peaceful. And may all beings be free.

And may I have the kind of goodwill for others that I can look for how to contribute to that as a possibility, in whatever way that's appropriate for me, or for you, or for all of us. May we contribute to the welfare and happiness of this world.

Dharmette: Mettā Sutta (2 of 5) Intentions of Goodwill

Continuing on this topic of the Mettā Sutta^[1], the discourse on loving-kindness attributed to the Buddha. We don't know if really the Buddha composed it, but that's the attribution of the tradition. It's a beautiful little text, a series of verses that, as I said yesterday, is considered the foundational text for loving-kindness practice or living. But the fundamental purpose of the text is to reach the state of peace, liberation, and freedom, and to do so it's important to develop these different qualities.

A lot of these can be seen as expressions of the second factor of the Eightfold Path^[2], right intention, or right resolve. This is said to be renunciation, non-hostility or non-ill will, and non-cruelty or non-violence. In the Pali^[3] tradition, where there's a lot of these negative prefixes—the not ill will, the not cruelty—it's understood in the tradition that that encompasses the presence of the opposite. You could say, why don't you say the opposite? The reason is that the opposite of non-ill will could be a range of different attitudes, not just one. By letting go of ill will, we are available for the range, and whatever is appropriate at the time. Sometimes it might be loving-kindness, sometimes compassion, sometimes generosity, sometimes it might be patience or equanimity. So we're not limited just to one.

In this opening of the text we talked about yesterday, all of those can be seen as expressions of renunciation, non-ill will, and non-cruelty, especially the first two. "Gentle and not proud, contented, easily supported, living lightly with few duties." All about renunciation of a certain kind of healthy letting go. "Wise, with senses calmed, not arrogant, without greed for supporters. They should not do the least thing that the wise would criticize."

The next one describes the intention, the motivations, the aspiration of loving-kindness. It's the heart's wish that others be happy. Here it's put in the context of reaching the state of peace. It's in the context of becoming liberated oneself that one develops and cultivates this care and goodwill for others. If the path of liberation is only about "me, myself, and mine," there's no liberation. The way we close down and hold ourselves in check, gripped in our sense of self when we're only focusing on our own practice and our own welfare, actually limits the movement towards freedom.

Here, the next section of this is now including a care for the others in the world. A relaxing of the barriers, a relaxing of the strong sense of separation and otherness, and "me-ness," and "me against you," or "it's all about me and what's good for me." Now there's an opening, a relaxing of that strong grip of self into, in a relaxed open way, having the goodwill go out and include the welfare of others as well.

It says all these ethical things, and then it goes, "They should also reflect as follows: they should consider as follows. May all be happy and secure. May all beings be happy at heart. All living beings, whether weak or strong, tall, large, medium, or short, tiny or big, seen or unseen, near or distant, born or to be born, may they all be happy."

So it's not just a simple goodwill to the people that you love. Here it's a universal goodwill. "May all beings be happy." The universality of it is not easy to come to. We begin with love towards those that we care about, those who it is easy for, and then the practice is to begin expanding it. What does it take to relax and open and be inclusive in our goodwill so that we can genuinely have goodwill for the whole world?

Part of the benefit of this in meditation practice is that this really frees up the restrictions on the heart, the constrictions of the heart, the limitations we have by keeping our love bounded or in check. There's something about opening up the windows of the heart completely, all the windows, so that the radiance of the heart can be in all directions, not limited by anything. An unlimited heart.

This of course is a very large ideal. One of the things that is very useful to consider is that we're talking here about an intention. Intentions don't necessarily mean that we feel loving. It means that we have the intention to do so. We have the desire to be loving, to have goodwill. If the requirement is to have an emotional feeling of love, that could limit and hinder a person from actually practicing it, or feeling like they're doing the practice well.

It's enough to have the intention; that's where it begins. Intention is considered a seed, and you plant that seed so something can begin to grow. Over time something important will grow within us. Exactly what that is for any one individual, I don't want to say. For some it might be emotional, for some it might have a more cognitive quality to it and come with understanding and ideas that really are all-encompassing. But it does involve a releasing of clinging, releasing of self-preoccupation.

It begins just by an intention. I think that it's invaluable to simply have the desire to have goodwill. Even if you don't have any goodwill, you might want to consider whether it's a good idea to have it. "Yes, I would like to have it. I'd like to have it someday. I wish I could do it." Rather than berating oneself or diminishing the value of that because it's just a desire and we can't actually have the goodwill, the idea is to celebrate, to appreciate the desire. It is actually quite phenomenal. Intentions are an important part of human life. When we have wholesome desires, it's good to appreciate that, especially if the alternative is unwholesome desires.

The desire to have goodwill is enough in itself; it's a beginning. Then to appreciate that, and maybe give it voice. One of the ways that loving-kindness is practiced is by in one's own mind, maybe quietly, giving voice to it, saying words that express it. There's something about giving voice that is good for the heart. Some of you, if you're driving a car or if you're alone sometime, you might try speaking out loud expressions of goodwill. Maybe very personal expressions of it that you have for others, or for all beings. Or to do it with the classic phrases, or from these phrases from the Mettā Sutta: "May all be happy and secure. May all be happy and safe. May all beings be happy at heart."

"All" is really emphasized here, the all-encompassing nature in all directions. No limitations to your goodwill. "All living beings, whether weak or strong, tall, large, medium, or short, tiny or big, seen or unseen, near or distant, born or to be born, may they all be happy."

This is not just human beings. I think tiny and big means the smallest little creatures to the largest. Seen and unseen doesn't just mean the people you don't see, but even the bacteria, the insects that are so small you don't see them. This all-encompassing nature of this goodwill.

What does it take to do that? It takes intentionality. It takes having some desire, for which we have to appreciate that desire has an important role in our life. And to learn how to be wise with desires. Our desires are wholesome and beneficial so we don't succumb to the limitations of expectation and demand, success and failure. That we don't hijack the desire with clinging and craving and grasping in compulsive desire, but just an open-handed, free kind of generosity of heart where we wish for their welfare.

It doesn't have to be publicly known. Some people are afraid to develop goodwill or have this intention because if people know about it they'll be taken advantage of, or it's embarrassing, or it's awkward. But this goodwill we're cultivating doesn't have to be publicly known. It can be your secret, that you're really sitting there just wishing that the people who are angry with you or annoyed with you—wishing for their welfare, wishing they can be happy. It might be wholesome enough to wish their welfare and happiness because if they're happy they probably wouldn't be so mean to you. They'd be in a lot better shape.

These beautiful words: "May all be happy and secure. May all beings be happy at heart." How can those words be intentions or desires or aspirations that live in you in a way that has integrity, a way that really comes out of you and flows out of you and is valuable for you?

There are many ways to answer that question, but one of the ways that comes out of meditation is to have a non-claustrophobic mind. To have a mind that's not so busy with thoughts and other desires and ill wills and annoyances and fantasies that there's no room for the quieter emotions, the emotions of goodwill, of loving-kindness. To live a calm life can make room for frequent connection to the intention, the desire for goodwill.

May you explore this this next day. Maybe you may explore by repeating to yourself and seeing what it brings up for you in your heart and your mind and your body. Just repeat to yourself the phrases, "May all be happy and secure. May all beings be happy at heart." You don't have to even feel any goodwill saying them, but what happens to you if you make those a mantra for the day? Just keep coming back to them and back to them and living with them. What do you learn about yourself, and what do you learn about your heart in doing so?

Thank you. There's a copy of my translation of the Mettā Sutta on the IMC website, on the homepage. In the bottom right-hand corner, there's a little section called "What's New," and in this section, there's a little line that says "Reflections from Gil," and there you'll find the discourse on loving-kindness. Thank you, and I look forward to continuing tomorrow.