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Happy Hour: Cultivating Metta Through Seeing Self & Others Happy

Hello and welcome to Happy Hour, everyone. As I've been experimenting together with you the past few sessions, we start with practicing together. We start without a little dharmette at the beginning, and maybe I say a few words at the end, but I introduce the theme during our meditation. So let's just practice together. Be surprised by this being human.

Guided Meditation

So let us arrive. Let us arrive in our bodies together, both individually in this seat, in this body that is felt by me, and also together as a community, arriving, coming together. Perhaps turning our awareness for a moment to this, or the beauty of the togetherness on this little blue planet we call home, from different places. Coming together with our intention to cultivate goodness and kindness for the sake of ourselves and others.

Turning our awareness now to this body. To this feeling of connection to the earth through our feet. The bottoms of our feet touching the earth, kissing the earth. I am here. Connection of our sit bones with the chair or the cushion in lieu of the earth. I am here. I am here. Let the earth first be my witness: I'm here.

And relaxing the body. So much has happened already before getting here in this moment. Letting it go. We can always pick it up later, but for now, prioritizing to give our heart fully, completely to itself, through itself in this practice here. Wholeheartedly here. Just here with this breath, these sensations.

Adding this breath to the sensations. Let the song of this breath be the only song that is nourishing, healing, calming. No thoughts needed right now. The song of thoughts is not needed. The mellifluous song of the breath. Listening, listening to the sensations of just this breath. This miracle of this breath in this body. Millions of years of evolution, this breath right here. This breath right here connecting us to the planet, the air around us, the trees, all humans, all beings. That's the miracle of this breath alone. Listen deeply.

And when thoughts arise—the static of thoughts—let them go with a smile. "Not now, thank you, please come back later." Embracing, celebrating the nourishment of this breath as goodwill, as metta^[1], as kindness to ourselves. What's done is done. The future isn't here yet. Just this moment. Just here. Settling with each breath.

And now I'd like to invite you to bring someone to mind for whom your mental goodwill, care, love—whatever nuance of it is alive for you—flows with ease. Maybe you feel safe when you think of this being. Maybe your body relaxes. Choose someone with whom you have an uncomplicated relationship ideally. Pets are simple, children—and if they're teenagers now, you can imagine when they were young. Simple. Someone you appreciate. It could also be a benefactor, a teacher, a coach. Maybe even someone who's touched you through their work, their writing, their talks, etc. Wherever it's easy to feel goodwill for this being, for this person or being.

Still connected to your body, to your sit bones, to your feet, to your breath, invite them. Invite them close, as if opening the door of your heart-mind and inviting them close. And see what arises in your body and your heart. Maybe on your face, maybe a smile shows up.

And in this practice today, as we invoke the phrases of goodwill and metta, we're going to imagine them feeling that way.

May you be safe. Bringing an image of this being where they are cozy. Maybe it's raining outside and they're safe from the elements of the rain, from the cold. The image that there's some safety. May you be safe from inner and outer harm. For the inner harm, imagining that there's peace, their thoughts are not bothering them. You're safe from inner and outer harm.

May you be happy and have joy in your heart. Imagine this being happy. Imagine them joyful. Doing some imagined activity they like, maybe with people they appreciate. May you be happy. See them happy. See this being happy in your mind's eye. Connecting with your goodwill for them. You wish them well. You want them to be happy.

May you be healthy. The third metta phrase. Seeing them healthy. Maybe see them strong and healthy. Maybe they're hiking, exercising, something active. Swimming, skiing, whatever they love to do, or imagine them doing it if you don't know. Strong in their body, healthy right with energy. May you be healthy.

And the fourth metta wish: May you have ease. May you take care of yourself happily. And imagine that with a sense of ease. And the tableau for this one could be anything you like. Maybe they're lying in a hammock on a beach, there's a sense of ease. Or they're sitting in meditation and there's ease, there's peace, or whatever you want to imagine.

May you be safe. The image of them in safety. May you be happy. See them there with friends celebrating an occasion. May you be healthy. See them strong, healthy body. And may you have ease. The image of them with ease.

Through these images we connect with our goodwill, strengthening our good wish, our metta, our kindness for this person. It's not wishful thinking or imagining something so that it definitely becomes true with attachment. No, it's just so our hearts can connect with this wish of metta. Really feel into it.

You might notice that it makes you feel happy and well to imagine this being happy and well. If the four tableaus are complicated, simply: May you be well. May you be happy. Those two are sufficient. May you have well-being in your body, mind, and heart. May you have well-being in every way. May you be happy. And nothing more. Imagining them well, happy, and healthy. Connecting with this image so your goodwill can flourish.

Now bowing in your mind to this being, and bringing an image of yourself up as a beloved other, and making the same wishes for yourself. Imagining yourself happy and well, seeing yourself happy and well, and connecting with mental goodwill for yourself as this beloved other the same way you did for your dear being a moment ago.

May you be safe. Seeing yourself safe. Connecting with the good wishes for yourself. May you be happy and have joy in your heart. Imagine yourself laughing, joyful. The energy of joy and gladness. May you be healthy and strong. Seeing yourself, connecting with an image of yourself as healthy, strong, well-being in your body. Again, not attaching to any of these images. Not clinging, just offering. Offering goodwill through these tableaus to yourself as a way to open your own heart to yourself. The last metta wish: May you have ease. Seeing yourself with ease in your life. Ah, seeing yourself with ease. Your mind, your heart, your body at ease.

If the four phrases are too much, just simply: May you be well. May you be happy. Or may you have well-being in every way.

It's okay to bring up a memory of a time when you were happy. If it's hard to connect with an image, it's easy to connect with a memory, great. If not, you can bring up an image of you happy and healthy from an experience you've had. Not dwelling on the memory, but feeling into the good wish, the goodwill for yourself. Don't get caught up in reminiscing, stay in the present. May you be happy, healthy, in every way.

If we find ourselves searching too hard for memories, let it go. Just imagine something completely bold. You're walking in a green meadow in the full sunshine, feeling happy, healthy, joyful, safe, with ease. Wishing this being well with all your heart, this being who is you.

This person who is you carries the sun inside them, inside their heart, with goodwill, with kindness, with happiness, health. Wish them well. May they have ease. Connect with this image of goodwill.

And as we close, and as we bring this guided meditation—this time to practice together—to a close for the next breath. Perhaps bringing the image of yourself as happy, healthy, with ease, safe, carrying the sun in your heart. Bring this image close. Just breathe it in for a moment. A sense of well-being, contentment through and through every cell of your body just for a moment, if we can connect with it. Wishing ourselves well as this being who is me.

And shining our light, sharing our light, our goodwill, our goodness with the whole world. Cultivating our kindness for ourselves as a basis, filling our own cup so we don't go around and beg everyone to fill our cups with approval. Filling our own cup with our own kindness and appreciation so that we can fill other people's cups.

May all beings everywhere be safe, happy, healthy, and have ease. May all beings, including myself, be free^[2].

Reflections and Small Groups

Thanks everyone. So we started by settling in the body with the breath as we always do, and then we brought a dear person to our mind's eye and wished them well with tableaus, with images, trying to connect with seeing them happy, healthy, with ease, and safe. And then we did a bait and switch^[3]. After we had warmed up our imagination, our imagery, then we brought in an image of ourselves as this third person that we've been kind of playing around with over the past week as a beloved other, imagining ourselves well and connecting with that wish for wellness. And at the very end, I invited you to breathe it in and say, "Oh wow, this sense of goodness, can I actually bring it close?" as one way to access metta. There are so many different ways.

So I'm going to invite us to transition now into small groups, and there will be time for reflection. So remember how this practice was for you. If you have questions, comments, complaints, confusions, aha moments, please save all of them. And the invitation for small group practice is the following: that you're invited, if you like, in groups of roughly three, to say a couple of sentences. Just a short brief, and make sure you're not dominating the time. Just saying something about how this practice was, what did it open up, what was challenging. There's no right or wrong, you could say "I fell asleep" or "I was distracted the whole time," it's perfectly fine. You can also hold silence, perfectly fine. And then we'll go alphabetically. The next person will say a few words, the next person will say a few words, and then you'll have the chance again. So going round and round for about six or seven minutes.

Take care of yourselves, take care of each other, be kind. I'm going to create the breakout rooms now. Again, you can offer your silence and just hold witness with kindness. The idea of these groups is for the practice to—well, it's really where our goodwill meets the world. It's where the rubber meets the road. Can we actually show up with goodwill for ourselves and others? That's the question. It's not about "blah blah blah, look at me," it's about can we show up with goodwill for ourselves and others? It's a supreme practice. It's really supreme practice. Okay, alright. So I'm going to open the rooms. Take care of yourselves, take care of each other.

[Group Breakout Session]

We'll wait until everybody's back. That was a bit longer, it was actually eight minutes, and then an extra minute to close. If you have reflections, you can raise your hand, especially if you haven't spoken recently. If you have spoken recently, I'm going to ask you to please step back. You can also type your reflections in the chat. If you type them to me privately, I will only read your reflection, not your name. And if it's to everyone, then I'll read your reflection too. Anything you noticed, any aha moments, or any questions or challenges from this practice, or something you noticed in the small groups. And again, if you haven't spoken in a while, I'm going to invite you to move forward. And if you have spoken recently at Happy Hour, I'm going to ask you to move back.

Stephanie says, "My relationships with dogs are uncomplicated." That's great! Others are agreeing with you, it's sweet.

Maybe we'll take a pause for one word. Again, if you haven't spoken in a while, you're welcome to share a reflection. How was the meditation for you? Amy, I haven't heard from you in a long time.

Amy: I felt like my group was full of metta. It was really sweet, it just increased the energy of it. We were talking about baby elephants and puppies, and you know, all those things that can really warm up the metta vibes. So yeah, it was lovely.

Nikki Mirghafori: Oh, so sweet! That makes me happy, and you're smiling. You're beaming metta actually, as you're talking right now, just hearing you and seeing you. It just makes me happy, it's very sweet. Thanks for reporting back from your group. That's lovely, beautiful. Thank you, Amy.

And thank you all. Thank you for your practice. I'm experimenting both with a slightly different form and trying to see if 15 minutes might actually make it a little lighter Happy Hour. So I'm gonna end now. Thank you all for your practice, for your cultivation, for supporting yourselves and each other. May all beings be well. May all beings, including ourselves, be free. Thanks everyone.