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Guided Meditation: Growing With Awareness

So then we'll start, and with a more official good day to all of you, and welcome. An idea that you might want to incorporate into your sitting is the idea that in doing meditation, we are not just trying to become calm and peaceful, and not just trying to have insight and see clearly what's going on. We're also trying to grow—to grow inner qualities, wholesome qualities, skillful qualities.

There is a movement towards this. There are some powerful words used in the teachings of the Buddha that could be translated into English as "growing" in a way that we thrive, or growing into abundance. It is the recognition that something can develop inside of us that grows, develops, and unfolds over time. This can be growing in confidence, wisdom, equanimity, generosity, compassion, kindness, or a certain kind of strength of fortitude. All kinds of things can develop, and the metaphor for this growth is that of a plant growing.

The farmer provides the conditions—the soil, the fertilizer, the water, and the light—to allow something to grow. Meditation practice is also providing these things so that we can grow. One of the things that we try to do in meditation is to let go of thinking and preoccupations so that our awareness, our capacity for being present, becomes open and available for something to fill it, to grow into it.

If awareness is preoccupied and claustrophobic, there's no room for something to develop. It's like a crowded garden bed full of weeds where the little seedlings don't get to the light. We clear the weeds so the plants that we want to grow can grow and develop. Some of us have weeds in our mind that interfere with the growth of these beautiful plants. The idea of getting out of the way makes space for something to grow. Just that very idea of, "Okay, let go of my thoughts, let go of my preoccupations," offers an open awareness, a clear attention to what's here. In that stillness or spaciousness, there is space for something new and healthy to grow.

Sometimes what needs to grow first is our awareness of the weeds, so we can really see them, work with them, and find our way with them. But there is always something growing.

Taking a meditation posture ideally means finding a posture that allows space for something to grow. Some people find that taking a posture with confidence, openness, and a real sense of presence helps. It's in this presence that something healthy can grow.

Softly close your eyes.

Become aware of your breathing. Very simply, calmly become aware of the body breathing.

Maybe even becoming aware sweetly, gently, quietly. As if breathing is a gentle place that you want to approach in a gentle way with awareness. Approach yourself gently, sweetly.

As you exhale, gently relax parts of your body. Gently means not forcefully, not with high expectations. Just enough.

Relaxing the muscles of the face. Relaxing the shoulders. In the relaxation, there's more room in your body for something to grow. There's space. Tension limits the space for things to grow.

Softening the belly. A soft belly is like a field that's been well tilled, soft, and rich with compost.

Then gently quieting the thinking mind to begin the process of making more mental space for something to grow.

If we are preoccupied in ill will, resentment, or strong desires, it's sometimes likened to an infertile field in which nothing can grow. Letting go of your thoughts with the idea that you are getting out of the way, making space for something to unfold, show itself, and grow. Maybe something you can't know ahead of time, without expectations of what will grow.

Letting go of preoccupations, opening to your body breathing, as if you're giving open, clear space for the wholesome within you to grow.

Letting go of thoughts. Centering yourself in the body that's breathing. The more aware you are of your body, the more the wholesome has a chance to grow.

As we come to the end of this sitting, I'll point out that there are expressions and ways of living that open us up, and some that close us. When there is friendliness, it tends to be an opening of the heart to someone else. When there's animosity, there's a closing barrier. Love tends to be opening. Hate is closing.

Whenever a Buddhist practice session is over, there is the practice of doing something which is opening. This allows what's within us to continue to flourish, to give expression to the good in us, and to express our care for the world. That is called the dedication of merit.

Here on this day of meditation, may we offer up through generosity, love, and kindness whatever benefit we received from this practice today. May we share that benefit with others. May we share it in a way that continues to make room and space for the wholesome to grow in us.

May the benefits of this practice be expressed in wishes and actions that promote the welfare and happiness of all beings.

May all beings be happy. May all beings be safe. May all beings be peaceful. And may all beings be free.

Dharmette: Kusala (7 of 10) Growing the Wholesome

We'll continue our discussion about the wholesome and the skillful. One of the definitions of what is kusala^[1], wholesome or skillful, is that which results in happiness and is non-afflictive. It doesn't cause harm or hurt us in any way; that's one of the requirements of what is wholesome. It brings happiness, meaning there is a movement towards greater well-being.

But wholesome is also considered to be beneficial, healthy, or good in and of itself. It's both good in itself and has a further onward leading towards happiness. The wholesome doesn't automatically feel happy in the moment; we're practicing and allowing for its growth over time because we want to create a stable, strong foundation for happiness. We want to be less dependent on the changing nature of our life circumstances, our physiology, our hormones, our tiredness, or how much food we've eaten. We want to have stability because of the strength of these good qualities that have developed in us over time.

When I first came to Buddhism in Zen practice, there was very little discussion about how we are actually maturing, developing, and growing through the practice. There was a strong tendency to point directly towards the absolute, what's ultimately true—for example, emptiness, or seeing into the nature of enlightenment here and now and experiencing some kind of non-dual state. As soon as we talked about "growth," we were seen as falling into dualism, having gaining ideas, or missing the boat of discovering freedom right here and now.

There is real wisdom to that kind of direct pointing, but it can also shortchange a hugely important, natural part of being human. Human beings, whether they want to or not, are constantly changing and growing. Sometimes what's growing is not healthy. If someone has a habit of complaining, being angry, or being irritated, that is what grows inside. Unhealthy traits grow by the repeated doing of them. But if we make space for what is good, something different will happen. Even if we do non-dual pointing to reality, our psychophysical system will begin shifting and changing as a result. It's possible to track that growth and actively support it.

When I was doing Zen practice in the monastery, I was made the gardener. My job was to weed and let the plants grow. At some point, I wondered, "Wasn't it okay to also weed the weeds of the mind?" Was noticing weeds in the mind a form of dualism or conceit? I didn't see any reason to view my mind as any different than the garden. In the garden I took care of weeds; why not take care of the weeds of the mind when I was angry or greedy? Taking the weeds out makes room for something else to grow and develop.

You find in the teachings of the Buddha a great emphasis on this development and growth. I can't emphasize it enough. It creates a strong foundation that carries us stably into the challenges of our life. I've known people who relied on shortcuts to mystical experiences or great states of consciousness, but they didn't have the inner strength to hold them. They couldn't rest in those states or be sustainably influenced by them, so they would succumb back to their old, unhealthy habits. For the Buddha, the idea is to cultivate these inner capacities so that we can hold the higher experiences of realization and freedom that come with practice. Even if higher states of attainment aren't your primary interest, developing these healthy qualities allows us to hold basic human experiences, like love, much better. Our love becomes healthier, stable, and less fragile.

The Buddha said, "Abandon what is unwholesome and devote yourself to wholesome conduct." This means making choices to actively behave in ways which are beneficial. That is how you will grow, increase, and come to fulfillment in this dharma^[2]. Part of what we're doing is making behavioral changes, actively choosing wholesome actions that help this inner growth happen. Yesterday, I read the ten skillful actions, which are ten wholesome things to do that support this development.

One of the translations of kusala is "skillful." This is a wonderful translation because it carries much less moralistic weight. Even "wholesome" can seem heavy or oppressive to some people. "Skillful" is free of that baggage. Skillful for what? Skillful for cultivating the path of liberation, and skillful for developing the practice.

Developing a skill is done by repeated engagement over and over again, often through making small movements. I've learned a new skill in the last three months, and I'm surprised by how I'm still learning the art of it. I thought it would be simple, but I'm learning subtle distinctions that make me more skillful. The word skill in English comes from a Germanic root—in Norwegian, the word is skille, which means to distinguish or separate out. Learning finer and finer skills makes the task easier.

The skill I'm learning is putting in a contact lens for my right eye. Over these last few months, I've been getting better at it. At first, it was a real challenge; it would fall out or wouldn't go in right. But doing it day after day, paying attention to the exact position of my fingers and all the little details, I've improved. Now, when it's done right, it's a beautiful, smooth, easy, and graceful movement. It just slides right onto the eye with no effort, almost as if it wants to sit on the eyeball. I'm still learning skills in my old age!

The same thing happens in Buddhist practice. We are learning subtle distinctions in our posture and how to sit, making our meditation posture more skillful. We develop little skills in how to be with the breath and how to pay attention to it. We slowly and incrementally learn the movements of the mind: what it's like to be mindful, what it's like to let go, where and how to focus, how to concentrate, how to be equanimous, and how to make exactly the right amount of effort. This isn't learned by reading a formula in a book; it's learned through engagement over and over again. Just like a competitive swimmer refines how they move their arm in the water to reduce resistance and get the most push, a meditator unconsciously develops these internal skills.

The Buddha uses metaphors that clearly relate to skills. For developing the five faculties^[3], the metaphor is tuning and playing a five-string lute. You learn how to tune it and play it better over time. We are learning to tune and play the five strings inside of us. For mindfulness practice, the metaphor is learning to cook. The more we cook a dish, the simpler and more creative we get, developing a skill that felt awkward when we first followed the recipe. A skilled mindfulness practitioner is like a skilled cook.

A skill grows through time. As certain skills develop, they make room for other good qualities to grow as well. The theme for today is this inner growth of our abilities, mental capacities, and attitudes. It's an allowing of a natural process of growth that comes through repetition. Doing kindness, friendliness, and generosity over and over again develops our skills and allows us to make finer distinctions that benefit us and others.

Over time, something thrives. There is an abundance and a filling out of something truly marvelous within us. We must recognize this process so that we have the patience to keep going. Practice is not just about experiencing emptiness or strong states of concentration; it is about cultivating all these supportive skills.

I'll talk more about some of the wholesome skills we develop over the next few days. Thank you very much. May you reflect on ways you have grown in wholesome qualities. Over the last five, ten, or twenty years, how have you changed and grown in beneficial ways in your inner life? And how did that steady, slow growth happen for you?

Thank you.