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Happy Hour: What Do I Need to Let Go Of?

Introduction

Hello, hi June, welcome. You can also say hello in here if you have different mother tongues; you're welcome to say hello in those languages if you like. Where in New York? Hi Claire, hello. "I'm Tanya, normally from California." Hi Claudia from a different time zone, welcome. And Bill says hello from Dallas. Josefina from Oakland. Barbara in Santa Cruz. And I just heard Hugh who's saying hello. Hi Hugh, hello from San Diego. Hello, and Natalie says hello on YouTube. Hi Natalie, welcome to our YouTube friends for joining us at the same time. Sweet, very sweet. Okay, let's get started. iPad from Sausalito, nice, nice. Thank you for joining, and thanks Neil for posting information about the Happy Hour Google Groups.

At this point, if you are unmuted, I suggest that you mute yourselves, and we're going to transition now to our meditation together. I will change a few settings. Another setting that I change is that chats will now only be sent to the host, but I ask you to keep that channel quiet. I'm going to turn down the recording for the sake of Audio Dharma. Here we go.

Hello and welcome everyone to this rendition of Happy Hour. Happy Monday, or whatever day it is in your time zone.

Guided Meditation

I am tempted not to share any reflections, as I've been experimenting with just getting into the meditation. Let's do that and maybe I'll say a few words to support, to guide. I have a theme in mind tonight. I always have a theme in mind, but anyway, let's practice together. Let's meditate together.

Arriving, arriving in this body. Arriving in this moment. Arriving, arriving together. The sense of collecting, gathering. Sometimes we feel, perhaps, that we've been scattered with the demands, our thoughts, our priorities, our hearts scattered. Now we collect. We collect, we collect ourselves. We gather ourselves. As we gather together, we also gather ourselves, which is another way to consider the practice of concentration or samādhi^[1], or samatha^[2] practice. Gathering. We collect ourselves. We gather ourselves lovingly. Come, sweetie, come, become whole, become aligned. All the pieces of the puzzle scattered, bring them together.

Bringing our attention to this breath, to this body. A sense of integrity, wholeness. There might be demands on our attention and our emotions. We say, "Yes, we know, we know, and it's okay. We're not going to abandon you. We're just going to nourish ourselves for a moment, for a few moments, with silence, with the breath, with presence, so that we have more stability to include it all." So with that attitude of openness, spaciousness, coming to ourselves. Coming wholly to ourselves.

Connecting with the breath. Sensations of the breath in the body, not the idea of it. Perceiving the breath in the abdomen. Feeling the sensations. Quite amazing. Feel like a lullaby, these sensations.

And if thoughts arise, not bad. There's nothing wrong with thinking, but for now we say, "No thank you, please come back later," giving primacy to what's important right now. What is important right now? In this moment.

Rest your heart, rest. No need to flutter here and there. Sweet butterfly of the mind, the heart, rest, rest dear, rest.

Just this breath. Just this. Can we give primacy and can we make this the most important priority right now? Just this. Just this. Really grokking this is the most important act, this dedication in this moment of our heart to this practice. Our attention. Gathering our attention is the most important thing. Can we really get it? Can we really align with this? Of thinking about this or that, or planning, just let go. Just this. Just letting yourself be breathed. Just be awake in this moment. This passing moment.

Can we nourish our hearts, ourselves? Can we be kind to ourselves by just attending to one thing, the simplicity of being, not doing?

Thomas Merton^[3], a celebrated Trappist monk, I will share his words. Let them wash over you while you're in a meditative state:

"The rush and pressure of modern life are a form, perhaps the most common form, of its innate violence. To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help everyone and everything, is to succumb to violence."

Can we in this moment not succumb to this inner form of what he calls violence? Pulled this way and that by all the demands. Just getting a sense of what is the most important. What is? And sitting, sitting. Landing wholeheartedly in the most important thing. In Zen Buddhism, the most important thing is to know what is the most important thing. A saying from Zen: to rest, rest, to rest. And the most important thing right now: not running this way or that. As a sense of mettā^[4], care, service to yourself and others.

What is the most important thing in this moment? Just drop it into your body, to your heart, not into your head. Maybe nothing will come up. It's okay. Sit and breathe with this question. Let it gather you, calm you, settle you.

Can you imagine for a moment, conjure up, connect with what is the most important priority in your life right now? What value, what act, what service? And connect with that. Sit with that. Rest with that. As if you're sitting in a warm bath. Let this aspiration support you, engulf you. No distraction. Just one thing. Just one thing, just this. Breathe with it.

As an expression of mettā to yourself, what do you need to release? Say no to, so that you can be aligned with what is the most important thing in this moment in your life? And not to think about it, but drop it in as a reflection. Let yourself just breathe with this question: what do I need to let go, say no to? Don't think about it, just be breathed. The answers will find you; you don't have to go find them. What do you need to let go of in this moment? If it's thinking, just let yourself be breathed. Simple.

And as we turn towards the end of this sitting, let go of any self-judgment if it's arising or has arisen. Not needed, not needed. Let go. It's one thing you need to let go of right now, any self-criticism. You've done your best. You've showed up, that's beautiful. That is so beautiful. Thank you, me, for showing up, doing my best. Yes. Recognizing your own goodness, having done your best without attachment to outcome. And offering your goodness of intention, your wholeheartedness, your desire for cultivation for your own sake and others. Offer this goodness to all beings everywhere. Sharing, "Yes, I share my goodness. I share my life, I share my engagements. The fruit of my wholesome engagement is offered to all beings everywhere. May my life be of benefit. May my practice be of benefit. May all beings everywhere, including myself, be free."

Reflections

Thanks everyone. Thanks for your practice, the steadiness^[5] of your practice.

So the theme I wanted to bring in for us to contemplate, to consider is, as I read the quote by Thomas Merton—which I'm sure Neil will find later about the violence of our times and send it to the mailing list later—it's really about being distracted and pulled in this and that, this and the other. What do we need to let go of out of care, out of love, out of mettā for ourselves and others not to be pulled in so many ways? And what do we need to let go of in our lives? What about this moment, and what is the most important thing? What is the most important? Can we just sit in that? Can we sit in our highest value, our highest intention, and just let it sink in and open our hearts? We can just become beautiful and accomplish a divine compass. Yes, this is what I intend to engage with, what I'm intended to be engaging with in this life.

So that's the invitation. That was the invitation. As much as it showed up or didn't, it's fine. Let go of any self-judgment. The audio is available for listening later as well.

So now, engaging in small groups can be quite inspiring. The inquiries: what should you let go of? What is appropriate for you to let go of in this moment? What is appropriate for you to let go of in your life? Your responses as you come together and share and hold each other can be inspiring, can be supportive. You're not the only one who needs to let go. I need to let go of busyness. I'm saying yes to too many things. So for all of us, it's a good reflection for all of us.

That's the invitation: what is appropriate to let go of right now? And the answer might be, "I don't know, I'm just sitting with that. I don't know what's appropriate to let go of." Maybe I engage too much with others, I try to take care of others too much, or whatever it might be. Just exploring. And then the other inquiry question that you can reflect on together might be: what is the most important thing? Do I know what that is? And maybe you do, maybe you don't. You don't have to share it if you don't want to. That could be another exploration. So two questions: what to let go of, and what is the most important thing? You can choose to engage with one or both in any way.

I'm going to create the groups. As always, please take care of yourselves, take care of each other, and each person can just share from their own experience. Sharing from your own experience, not asking others questions, not directing the group. And we'll go in the order of your birthdate being closest to January 1st, so that you'll have a little bit of conversation figuring out the order. The first person will just say maybe a minute of reflections. Make space for other people, don't go on and on, please. Just a minute of reflections, or just one nugget, 30 seconds of reflection. And then the next person, and then the next person. I will come back to you, so go round and round.

I'm going to create the groups. Please take care of yourselves, take care of each other. Again, no directing, and if you want to say "pass," if you don't want to say anything, that's perfectly fine. Enjoy connecting with others. Here we go.

Q&A and Group Reflections

Okay, the groups will close in about eight seconds. And it does happen that we accidentally get out when we don't want to. [Laughter] I know that happens often, it's okay.

All right, okay, the rooms are closed. Everybody's back. Welcome back everyone. We have an opportunity, a chance for reflections, questions. And also I have the quote; I read part of it, I didn't read the whole thing, but I'll put it in chat. You can read the whole thing later, but right now please pay attention to whoever is going to be sharing their reflection. So especially if you haven't spoken yet or for a while, any reflections from the meditation, from the small groups? What to release, what to cultivate, to really sit in for the benefit of all beings. Any reflections? You can also put your reflections in chat. You can type them. If they're sent to me privately... let me change the settings... oh wait, here we go. You can send them to everyone, in which case you will be public, or you can just send them to me privately and I will just read your reflection, not your name, just one reflection.

Inspirations from yourself or your fellow practitioners?

One of you says, "We shared having anxiety about social interactions." Yeah, thanks for sharing that.

One says, "Cultivating kindness, letting go of worry and concern for the future requires courage." Yes, absolutely. Yeah.

And Bill says, "I thought this meditation was very inspiring."

Apparently, Diana is waving her hand, but I don't see you guys because I only see a small strip, so it will be Adelia and then Diane. If you can find a way to raise your Zoom hand, that way I can actually see you. Adelia, please.

"Hello. As I practice more, I am beginning to question, or maybe even some of them are slipping away, some of the motivations in my life and what I'm pursuing. And at the moment it's disorienting, you know. It's very uncertain, and I'm not quite sure how to structure my life or what to pursue anymore. But so that question of what to let go resonates, and it feels like some of it will just go naturally."

Yeah, thanks for sharing that, and speaking really from an honest, truthful place of "This is what it feels like when I'm letting go of what doesn't really resonate anymore." There is an unsettledness of "What now? What is important? What next?" And beautiful, stay there, because that place of unsettledness, that place of the don't-know mind, that place of "Okay, I'm letting go of what doesn't quite serve me anymore, but I'm not quite landing elsewhere yet" is perfectly fine. It's the bardo^[6]. It's like this image of runners when they've leapt, right? They've taken a leap. They're not on land anymore; they're in mid-air. And mid-air actually, if you open up, is like, "Wait, where am I?" But trust the momentum. Trust the momentum, and that is a rich place to be. One can see it as unsettling, but one can actually see it as a place of possibility. You've left safe land that didn't serve you anymore, so yes, you're opening up the possibility. Celebrating that. Thank you for sharing that, Adelia, beautiful. Okay, we'll take Anna. Last reflection.

"Well, I just want to thank you. This may be repetitive, but I love the simplicity of this meditation and the questions, and especially not knowing. I don't know, and it's okay to not know, and not needing an answer; the answers will come. This is something that's so pretty that I can really work with on a daily basis. Especially if you're feeling unsettled. I just recently, like today, something's left me, and I've been thinking, 'What's going on here? Where'd that go? What happened to it?' So we can be right in the middle of all kinds of processes. Yeah, thank you."

Beautiful, thank you so much. Diana?

"Yeah, thank you. It's just working with all of that."

So I'll share a couple of things that have come to me in chat too. One person has said, "Reminding myself I'm only human and doing my best." Self-compassion, beautiful, yay.

One more person says, "My group reminded me we must let go of the past and what's most important is to know that everything is temporary. This made me feel grateful to be sharing in conversation with my group since that too is temporary."

And let's see, one more. I see all that. "When will the recording be available?" It probably... in 15, 20 minutes, as soon as I can, Audio Dharma processes it. Let's see, anything else I can quickly say before wrapping up? Yeah, I think that's it. And, "How to let go of the cloud of unknowing?" Well, you don't want to let go of the cloud of unknowing. You want to embrace the cloud of unknowing. That's actually where it's juicy. That's where the certainties... we're like the know-it-all. But the cloud of unknowing, the don't-know mind... and actually maybe I'll do a session on the don't-know mind. All right, yes, and the video is already available. Thank you Neil for pointing that out, for having my back.

All right, thank you all. Thank you so much for your practice. Thank you so much for your cultivation, you beautiful people. Let us all let go of what's not needed. Embrace what is most important, what our heart is called to cultivating: goodness and beauty for the benefit of ourselves and the world. May all beings be well, may all beings be happy.

Thanks everyone. Take good care.