This is an AI-generated transcript from auto-generated subtitles for the video above. It likely contains inaccuracies, especially with speaker attribution if there are multiple speakers.

Mindfulness of Breathing (67) Sacred Absence

So we're continuing now with the last of the 16 steps of mindfulness of breathing, and we're coming now to the 15th step. The Pali^[1] word that it represents, that is being used, is nirodha^[2]. In the 14th step, the Pali word is virāga^[3]. Nirodha is spelled N-I-R-O-D-H-A.

Sometimes it's nice to just use the Pali words because in the original context and in India, these words have really rich connotations. In fact, virāga and nirodha are sometimes listed almost as synonyms for liberation itself, and so they have a very kind of almost sacred or special quality. The English word for virāga, which I've said is sometimes translated as "fading away" and sometimes as "dispassion," doesn't really capture the richness of the associations or the way it feels in Pali.

And then the same thing with nirodha. It is such a rich word that in the original context, I think that it really felt like a heartwarming idea that you don't get from the English translations. The most common translation for nirodha is "cessation." And cessation, just "ending," doesn't really bring—for most of us—much heartfelt feeling, inspiration, delight, or joy. Just "cessation," it's like, okay, it's the ending of something.

The word nirodha comes from the prefix ni-, which means "without, not, free from," and rodha, which means "obstruction." So it's being without obstruction. So "cessation" is a very different feeling than "free of obstruction," and maybe the cessation of obstructions. Cessation of blockages, or clinging, or contraction, or what gets in the way of freedom.

And so the 14th step, the fading away, the dispassion, involves the fading away and the ceasing, the ending of attachments, of cravings, of conceits, of the drivenness, compulsive ways of being that definitely have a feeling of stress and maybe even pain associated with their drive, with their presence. The pain of those, the stress of those, becomes more and more apparent the more wonderfully and beautifully quiet and still the mind becomes in meditation. The more calm we are, the more they stand out and highlight as being, "Wow, this is kind of uncomfortable to feel this way," that in ordinary street consciousness we might not feel. So we might even say, "What's the big deal? It's okay to have a little bit of irritation." But in deep meditation, a little bit of irritation doesn't feel like a little bit. It feels like a real disruption and, more importantly, an obstruction to deeper peace, deeper freedom.

So the 15th step is one trains: observing cessation. "One will breathe in observing cessation. One will breathe out observing non-obstruction. One will breathe in observing non-obstruction, one will breathe out." And so as we get deeper and deeper, at some point we observe a sacred absence. We observe the absence of something. And the absence is really strong, is really noteworthy. It's deeply inspiring.

So with watching inconstancy, we're watching things come and go. They arise and they pass. And being in the river, the flow of transiency, as we do that, the attachment to reaching into that river of change begins to give up. We can just relax. And with that, something ceases, something stops. Something is no longer there to obstruct the freedom.

And that absence is not just a temporary absence, like it fades and then comes back a second later, or fades away and comes back a minute later. But there's a way in which the cessation, the ending of it, the absence of it is really impactful for the mind and the heart. "Wow, it's possible to really be free of cynicism. Wow, this is right. I've been cynical for decades. Wow, this is possible." Or, "I've always been preoccupied and self-preoccupied with self. Wow, this preoccupation with 'me, myself, and mine' has fallen away. And it's not here, I can look around. Where is it? It's not there. Wow, it's absent. It's ceased."

There's a non-obstruction now that I realize that self-preoccupation was a kind of an obstruction, or wind drag, or something. Jealousy, doubt, hatred, resentment, all kinds of desires that sometimes are there in the structure of how our mind works, embedded fear. And wow, this has ceased for now. It might come back the next day, it might come back at the end of the meditation, but there's something about the thoroughness of that absence which makes an impression. And then, "Oh, this I know is possible. I had no idea this was possible."

And of course, this is like coming home, or this is health, or this is my birthright. This is worthwhile. This is fantastic. And any movement away from it, any way of picking up the compulsion, that's a diminishment. That's not really worth it anymore. And that's not the direction to go. That's not the way I want to live. This is how I want to live, without these obstructions, this kind of stress of these kinds of things.

And when this sense of absence is really impactful and strong enough, when it's really a very, very deep, thorough absence, then a person will never be the same again. It's almost as if that absence is a living memory or presence or something that is a guide. "Oh, this is where freedom is. This is where peace is. This is where truth is." Not propositional truth, but just the true way of being a certain way. And then it becomes an orientation for how to live our life.

Or to say it in a different way, what the tradition says is one then has entered into the current, the good current, the current that takes us to full freedom. So we're in the river of change, the river of inconstancy, but we've now discovered that there's a place that's not in the eddies, that's not in the brambles that are growing into the side of the river, but we notice maybe in the center of the river there's a beautiful current that if we stay in that current, it'll carry us to—the tradition uses this as an analogy—the ocean of liberation and freedom.

And so I call this the sacred absence. The absence of, and to recognize the value of, absence. And this is a hard thing for many people to appreciate, that absence has importance. In a sense, you can watch the mind and see, as soon as there's a quiet moment in the mind, sometimes it seems like the mind just reaches out for the next thing to think about. Or we have certain problems and as soon as that problem is solved, the mind just goes on to the next thing and the next thing. The mind is filling itself all the time.

But to appreciate absence, cessation, this deep sacred pause or stopping, and let it impact us. "Wow, it's true. It's possible to be free." So it's a little disappointing for people who always want to have something that's reassuring, something that's a confirmation that they're important, they're valuable, that they're on the right track, that they can have the badge to tell their friends, "Look, I have this beautiful thing, this spiritual quality." But an absence is not a badge you can put on. Absence is not the presence of something.

There might be our ability to be present for things of the world that becomes stronger, but freedom is not something tangible. It's not something that the mind can focus on as an object of attention in the usual way that things we can see and touch and feel. And so it's very easy to overlook absences, or to diminish their importance. In fact, in the history of Buddhism in the ancient world, there were debates and big concerns about—some great Buddhist teachers couldn't understand how an absence could be the ultimate goal. The ultimate freedom of Buddhism was somehow represented by an absence? It had to be a thing. It had to be something. And they posited a variety of different kinds of transcendent states and experiences because it had to be a thing.

So whether that's true or not is beside the point I'm trying to make now. In the 15 steps of mindfulness of breathing, it is observing absence, observing cessation, observing a space of non-obstruction. Observing how with the fading away of passion for these, lust for, clinging for, craving, that at some point the stopping, the cessation is so full. And sometimes it happens like a quantum shift: "Wow." And sometimes it happens slowly, a fading away.

But something, and it might be just one thing—it might be cynicism, or it might be doubt, but something that's been plaguing us for a long time—boom. Wow, we notice this is possible. And it is possible. And the Buddha made this great statement: "If it were not possible," I'm paraphrasing him, "to bring an end to our unwholesome mental qualities, I wouldn't teach you to bring them to an end. But it is possible to bring unwholesome mental qualities to an end, to cessation. And so I teach you that this is possible."

So this 15th step is an encouragement to appreciate absence, to appreciate sacred absence. Take time recognizing when a preoccupation, when greed, when anger, when desire, when lust, when all these things that get the mind involved, mind contracting, the heart contracting—notice, know it, appreciate when it's not there. And that appreciation will allow it to grow, or allow you to feel some confidence about this, and keep making space in sacred space, sacred openness of attention to be more present and more here. That supports this whole process of furthering along the onward-leading aspect of this path of practice.

So, "Breathing in, observing cessation. Breathing out, observing cessation."

Thank you all. And may you appreciate all the absences that occur to you today that will enliven you, or just delight you, benefit you, open you, free you. And there are probably much more absences that are the door to step through today than you realize. May you appreciate the sacred absence today. Thank you.