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Determination, Devotion, Dharma

Thank you for that lovely sitting together. It was nice to imagine you all sitting with me. Good evening, or whatever time of day it might be, whether you're listening as a recording or live.

Tonight, I'd like to talk a little bit about this idea of stick-to-itiveness. I'm not quite sure if that's a word, or if it were a word, how it would be pronounced. But something about persistence or resolve—this certain type of commitment or determination that can be the link between our intentions or our aspirations and our actions.

We might have some wishes, desires, or intentions regarding what we'd like to do with our meditation practice, our spiritual practice, and our life. Yet, sometimes there might be a gap between our inspiration or intentions and our actions. That gap can be bridged by this resolve or determination. There are a number of different ways that we can look at it or feel our way into it. You're welcome to choose a word that feels the friendliest for you.

The Spectrum of Resolve

I would like to emphasize that so often we have this idea that persistence or perseverance feels gloomy, heavy-handed, or certainly uncomfortable in some kind of way. And maybe it is; maybe there's a little bit of discomfort in the recognition that complacency is to have no application. Is that just comfort? I think if we were to really examine and look at complacency, we would see that, in fact, it doesn't have an open, spacious, and releasing quality.

What I would like to talk about is sometimes translated as resolve, but it's not just this sheer doggedness—just hanging on. It can be distinguished from having a really tight attachment, obsession, or clinging, which could be one extreme end of the spectrum. The other end of the spectrum is complacency or apathy. I'm talking about not either end of the spectrum, but this wide range in the middle in which we might find ourselves.

In order to use this tool, this power, and this strength in a way that's helpful and supportive for our practice and our lives, it requires some feedback for us to learn. We need to notice, Okay, this is what complacency feels like. This is what apathy feels like. This is what holding on for dear life and white-knuckling it feels like. To get some feedback that a certain approach doesn't feel sustainable allows us to ask: Is there a way that we can back off from one end of the spectrum, or maybe add a little bit more energy to the other end of the spectrum?

This requires paying attention and doing some experimentation. I like to play around with this: What happens if I lean into it a little bit more, so to speak? It also requires that we have some interest—that we care about this. You're not going to bother with this investigation or inquiry into how to have this mixture of ease and determination unless you care about it.

It also absolutely requires wisdom. Part of this wisdom is the recognition that so much of our practice—whether it's a specific mindfulness meditation practice or just a broader spiritual practice aimed at cultivating greater freedom, ease, and peace—requires wisdom. Part of that wisdom is recognizing that some of this practice is a bit like manual labor. It's not glamorous or glitzy. When we're doing mindfulness of the sensations of breathing and the mind wanders, we just very simply bring it back. Again and again, and again and again. This is so much of what meditation practice is like.

Part of the wisdom is just recognizing that this is part of practice. Maybe it feels boring or uninspiring, but I think for those of us who have hung in there, we notice that there is some real value. It can be a tremendous support for us, just doing what needs to be done: returning to the breath.

Choosing What to be Resolved On

Of course, what is there to be resolved on? In the guided meditation and in the example I just gave, the idea was to be resolved to be with the object of meditation: the sensations of breathing. But there are countless things that we can be resolved on. It's worthwhile applying our wisdom here as well, discerning and discovering what makes sense for us to be resolved on. What is a goal or something that we want to make a commitment towards? Or what is an intention and aspiration that some resolve or determination can really support?

Maybe it would be helpful to imagine: what would you like five years from now? If you were to look back and say that you're really happy that you started and had a little bit of a commitment there, what would that be? There are some ideas, attitudes, or actions that we might want to make a commitment towards. Again, this involves some investigation and exploration, but we can also do some thought experiments.

Ask yourself about whatever it is you want to be resolved on: Is it wholesome? We can start there. Is it skillful? Then we could go to, Well, what does it mean to be wholesome, or what does it mean to be skillful? We could say that wholesome things are not driven by greed, not driven by hatred, and not driven by delusion^[1]. Chances are that most of our actions—until we're completely awakened, of course—have some mixture of greed, hatred, and delusion. But when you consider and feel your way into whatever you might want to make a commitment or determination to, ask: is it wholesome?

One way to help answer that question is to also ask: Would it be criticized by the wise? Is this something that you would be ashamed of, want to keep a secret, or feel like it wouldn't be good if anybody else knew about it? That can be a clue that maybe there's something there for us to look at. Maybe we're just shy, or we have a little embarrassment about how dearly we hold these things. But is this something that, if others were to find out, they would criticize?

This, of course, begs the question: Who are the wise? One answer is people who don't have a lot of greed, hatred, and delusion. Often, we have a sense of people who have some wisdom. They have a sense of equanimity and balance. They have a sense of warm-heartedness, and perhaps they have given you good advice in the past.

So, is it wholesome, and would it be criticized by the wise? Something else to consider when choosing what to be resolved on is: Does it cause harm? Does it lead to suffering for yourself or for others? Is having this resolve really painful, or maybe it's just a little bit uncomfortable? Uncomfortable might just be a sign of stretching your capacities or being challenged, and that's okay. Or does it introduce a tremendous amount of suffering because you have this fear of what would happen if it didn't arise? Does it have an obsessive or addictive quality where you are eschewing everything else to put all your energy towards this one thing, causing your relationships or work to suffer?

There should be a recognition that whatever you resolve to do, if it's related to a Buddhist spiritual practice, should be connected to being freer. It should be connected to finding greater peace and greater understanding. I offer these as some things to consider when choosing what to be resolved on: things that are wholesome, supportive, and onward-leading. It shouldn't feel like a trap, but instead, you can see how it creates the foundation for something greater that has more depth or meaning. It should create the conditions for good things to arise, as opposed to cutting off those possibilities.

Resolve as a Treasure

The Buddha, of course, talked about resolve. For those of you who are familiar with this, it's one of the pāramīs^[2]. I'm not going to talk extensively about what the pāramīs are, I'm just mentioning it in case you're familiar. These are qualities to cultivate, most often cultivated in our daily life as opposed to specifically on the cushion.

There's a related quality called diligence or vigilance—depending on different translation choices—that also has this flavor of stick-to-itiveness. There's a verse in the Dhammapada^[3] which I appreciate. I've modified it just a little bit here, but it goes like this: "Unwise people give themselves over to negligence. The wise protect vigilance as the greatest treasure."

What would it be like to consider determination and resolve as a treasure? Something to be valued and protected. Something that can really be a support in whatever endeavor we might undertake.

For example, you might resolve to meditate. Then you come to the cushion, or you're practicing in daily life, even though there might be so many other things you'd rather be doing—things pulling your attention, getting in the way, or distracting you. Having resolved to meditate supports our just being with the disorderliness and the sense of chaos, recognizing that we're not entirely in control.

If we have set the resolve to meditate, and we are able to find our way to the cushion and meditate in a way that's without conceit—without a strong sense of 'Look at me, I'm the mighty meditator'—or without a strong sense of irritation—grumbling, kicking and screaming, 'Okay, I'm going to meditate, but I don't want to'—that is powerful.

Of course, these aren't black and white. Maybe there are just quiet rumblings: 'Wow, I really don't want to do this now... but okay, I'm going to do it.' Or maybe there's a little bit of pride: 'I'm kind of proud of myself that I've meditated so many days in a row.'

But if we can do this without being on the extreme end of the spectrum of conceit, and without doing it angrily or with irritation, this supports freedom in all areas of our lives. Just resolving to do something wholesome without a way that solidifies or reifies^[4] a strong sense of self, and without cultivating irritation and aversion. Approaching it in an easeful, open-hearted way creates the conditions for a tremendous amount of freedom. Not only in our meditation practice, but when coming back to things that are difficult, challenging, or simply don't match our preferences. Our lives can really unfold in a different way if we're able to do this.

Having resolve supports our movement towards freedom, but it also helps us learn to have compassion. We'll have plenty of opportunities to practice compassion for ourselves when we don't have that stick-to-itiveness we were hoping for, or when determination isn't accessible to us. We can also practice compassion for others when we recognize that, just like us, they have difficulties keeping some of their commitments.

I'm not saying you can write a blank check for everybody, or even for yourself, for everything. But practicing with resolve, exploring and experimenting with it, creates the conditions for us to have compassion. It helps us recognize that if it were easy, it wouldn't require determination! Having these difficulties is just part of the human experience.

Supports for Resolve

What are some things that can help and support us with resolve? Of course, the first is to have resolve for things that are meaningful to you—things that are worth spending your energy, resources, and time on. Spend some time feeling out what is important and worthwhile to apply yourself towards.

Another support is to think back on a time in your life when you did have strong determination. See if you can bring to mind how that felt. What was that experience of having determination with a certain amount of ease? How satisfying was it to have that sense of resolve, and how meaningful was it for you? Reflecting on that can be enormously helpful when our determination is flagging or soggy.

It also helps to gain clarity on whether it would be helpful to have some external accountability. Not everybody responds to external accountability; for some people, just setting a resolve for themselves is sufficient. But if it would be helpful, is there a way you can incorporate it to support you? We don't have to do this all by ourselves.

Furthermore, consider the attitude you adopt when setting a resolve. Instead of having a compulsive quality to it—'I have to jump onto this and grab onto it really tightly'—or a rebellious attitude like 'You can't make me' [Laughter], adopt an attitude of 'Well, why not? I'm going to give it a try and see how this goes.' Bring a little bit of playfulness, experimentation, or exploration to it.

Bringing Devotion to Determination

There is one more thing I'd like to talk about that might be a support for resolve. It's something we often don't talk about in the Vipassana^[5] scene or in the Insight Meditation tradition, and that is introducing some heart qualities to this idea of resolve.

To engage the heart, of course, you choose something that's really meaningful and heartfelt. But what would it mean to introduce the idea of devotion? This heartfelt connection, this expression of the heart that has a type of commitment and determination.

I know devotion isn't necessarily something that comes to top of mind when we think about commitment—though perhaps we think of it in marriage commitments or other types of vows. But is there a way to bring these heart qualities to our practice? We can think of devotional practices as taking place in a framework of general practices that open the heart and allow us to connect.

There are a number of ways to think about devotion. Sometimes ritual comes to mind. I'm reminded of this time... you know, I live here in Redwood City, and some of you may know that the slogan for the city is something like "Climate Best By Government Test." The weather here is really nice, and I've discovered that I've quite frankly turned into a weather pansy. The range of weather in which I'm comfortable has gotten smaller and smaller the longer I've lived here.

I was doing some long meditation practice in New England in the winter. The weather is different in New England in the winter than it is in Redwood City, of course. I decided that I wanted to do some walking meditation outside, but it was so cold, and I was having difficulties just going outside. Then I had this idea: What if I make it a ritual?

I had to put on all the warm clothing required to go from the comfortable meditation hall to the outside. I changed my socks, put on boots, a fleece skirt over my pants, a couple of jackets, a scarf, a hat, and gloves. I turned it into a ritual where I put it all on in a very particular order, with some heartfelt loving-kindness: 'Okay, I'm taking care of myself and my practice with this.'

I took these ordinary, mundane things and made them a ritual. It really made it come alive and tremendously helped my determination and commitment to practice in a way that, dare I say, felt so much richer and more rewarding than just putting clothes on and going outside. And of course, there was the ritual of coming back in, too.

Maybe there's a way in which devotion can show up in something like a ritual, or maybe it's just a connection to the heart. It's a movement away from 'I have to fix something, figure it out, or solve a problem,' and instead a way to connect to something that's really meaningful for us. Maybe it's the way we connect to ourselves.

I use this word 'devotion,' but it doesn't have to be sentimental or wishy-washy. It doesn't have to be this idea that these are practices just for the very beginning of your practice, while the 'real, mature' practice is just bare meditation or concentration. Instead, why not engage our heart? Why not bring the fullness of our lives, the fullness of our experience, and the fullness of our humanness to what's important to us? This can support our resolve and determination so that we can reach our intentions and aspirations.

In this way, we might use devotion as a support for determination, and explore how they are the same. We don't have to make such a strong distinction between them. We can use our wisdom, use our heart, and use all of ourselves to support not only our own practice but to support others.

We can show up in the world in a way that brings the wholeness and fullness of ourselves to what's most important. In this way, our practice and the way we show up in the world can perhaps be an exemplar for others, help us gain confidence in ourselves, and allow us to make a difference in a way that makes sense for us. Maybe it's just a really small difference, but to make a difference.

Dedication of Merit

So may all beings benefit from your practice, and from our practicing together. May all beings everywhere, without exception, be free from suffering. Thank you.