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Guided Meditation: Trusting the Practice More Than the "Self"

It's very nice to share this time together, and in a sense, to be together for this meditation and this teaching. I thank you for being part of this.

We'll start with a meditation. As an introduction to the meditation, I want to mention that part of any meditation is coming to terms with a thinking mind. Thinking sometimes distracts us from the present moment, distracts us from staying present in a relaxed, easy way, a deepening way with the breathing. We need to come to terms with it so that it's not our enemy. We shouldn't see it as a mistake that we're thinking a lot or wandering off in thought, but at the same time, we don't want to get lost in it.

One of the things to consider is that to whatever degree we get preoccupied with thinking, it represents a kind of trusting that the mind has in thinking. The mind somehow thinks it's important to think; something inside of us is invested in it or involved in it, keeping it going and fueling it. What we're doing in dharma practice is learning that we can trust something else other than our thinking. We can trust mindfulness. We can trust that ability to be aware of it all.

As soon as we're trusting awareness, we'll find ourselves in the present moment because being aware is only happening in the present moment. We can trust our breathing, trust mindfulness of breathing, and trust both together. Breathing can be eminently trustable—to entrust ourselves to the simplicity of breathing, or the potential simplicity of it. Sometimes it can be complicated initially for some people.

One interesting thing to do is when you find yourself lost in thought, involved in thought, rather than quickly coming back to your breathing or quickly re-establishing yourself in the present moment and letting go of those thoughts, take a moment to see if there's any sting with thinking. Is there any little subtle or big "ouch," some little stress, distress, some little pain, awkwardness, or discomfort that's somehow associated with thinking? I'm calling it a little sting.

That sting is there especially if the thinking is in any kind of way self-centered about "me, myself, and mine." Because when it is that self-concern, you might find it has a little contraction, tightness, or stress as part of it—the sting. If you feel the sting, the discomfort, the underlying distress that might be involved in thinking, don't be upset about that or reactive to that. Just see it: "Oh, that's interesting, look at that." By recognizing it, it might be more harmonious and easier to not unconsciously trust your thinking, but trust something else—something that doesn't have that sting. Maybe that's what we're learning to do as we do mindfulness practice: trusting mindfulness, and maybe trusting your breathing more than you trust thinking, at least during the meditation.

So, taking a meditation posture, assuming a way of meditating that's appropriate for you. Gently closing your eyes and gently settling into your body. Maybe wiggling your body a little bit, twisting it a little bit, swaying your body a little bit to help you find a midpoint, or a good way where the body is positioned so the body supports you in being alert and supports you in being able to relax.

Remind your whole physical, mental, and emotional system about breathing, about being at home in your breathing. You might take a few long, slow, deep breaths, and tell yourself silently: "Here. Here in this body breathing. Here in this breathing body." And as you exhale, relax the body here.

Then let your breathing return to normal. As you inhale, let your mind find someplace in your body where there's tension or holding, where muscles are held tight or up. As you exhale, say the word "here" in the way you would say the sound "ah." Here. And relax that part of your body. Breathing in, and here, relaxing. It might be the face, the shoulders, the belly. It might be the arms and hands, or the legs, the hip joint, the lower back. It might be the whole body that's held in check, or bracing itself, or resisting something. Softening, relaxing the body, and breathing in a normal way.

Take a few moments to also feel the area of your brain, or any place in your body that you associate with thinking. Whether you're thinking words or thinking images, is there any place in your body that seems to be the location of that thinking, or that's activated, tense, or energized by the thinking? Maybe around the forehead, just behind the forehead. As you exhale, perhaps with a few longer exhales than usual, iron out the mind. Quiet the thinking, letting the waves of thinking settle down, so the mind becomes quieter, stiller. It's almost as if the mind spreads out wide horizontally, like the surface of a calm lake where thinking is the waves on the lake. As the wind dies down, so do the waves. As our involvement with thinking reduces, our thinking gets quieter and softer.

Gently enter into that place in your body where you experience breathing, where you can most feel how the body experiences breathing. Rather than being in the control tower watching it all, is there a way of settling into the body's experience of breathing? There are many different aspects of breathing, parts of the body that are activated, and sensations that come into play. If it's easy enough, allow yourself to notice whatever is pleasant about breathing, whatever has a nice feeling, so that maybe you have an appreciation of breathing.

Even if the breathing is labored or restricted in some way, might there be some little point in the cycles of breathing that feels nice? If there is, allow yourself to feel those pleasant sensations or what's nice about it. Perhaps what's nice about breathing can be like a gentle hand that's holding your hand, a gentle support that helps hold you close to the breathing.

Relaxing the mind as you exhale. Whenever the mind wanders off in thought, relax the mind, and relax back into your breathing.

If you find yourself wandering off in thought, when you notice it, linger there for just a moment or two to see if you can notice the sting of thinking. What feels unsatisfying about being involved in thinking? Even if the thoughts themselves are pleasant, is there some way in which thinking is unsatisfying? There's a sting, an "ouch." If you recognize that sting, gently let go of your thoughts. Let go of the sting, and begin again with your breathing, perhaps returning to what is satisfying or pleasant about breathing, or what is satisfying and pleasant about being aware of breathing.

No matter how long you wander off in thought, you're always welcomed back into the present moment. The present moment is always here to receive you, without any judgment, criticism, or concern, except for being with you in the present. Notice the way that you feel settled now, or calmer, or that awareness maybe feels a little bit more available, receptive, and open.

With the help of a little metta^[1] and your imagination, open your awareness and your attention up to take in and receive other people. Bring to mind the people you care for and love: the people of your neighborhood or communities, family, and friends. In this calmer, maybe more receptive mode, with nothing that has to be done, nothing that has to be said or accomplished, just be aware of these people's presence. Maybe breathing with them. Feeling some sense of care, goodwill, or tenderness, and wishing them well.

Have the aspiration that they may be happy and healthy, safe, joyful, unburdened, and free. Is there a way of having that well-wishing be something which opens or touches something good in you? Something pleasant, something warm, something kind. Letting this warmth, this kindness, this tenderness spread out to others, perhaps you can wish all beings well.

May all beings be happy. May all beings be safe. May all beings be healthy. May all beings be free. And may you aspire to act on those little and big opportunities that come along to help make this possible, to support the happiness and welfare of others. May our practice be dedicated to the welfare of all beings.