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Happy Hour: Self-Compassion & Metta in Challenging Times

Introduction

The theme for tonight's meditation is self-compassion, especially for a couple of reasons. One is when the times are challenging, when our hearts are heavy, when there is sadness, anger—it's just too much. It's really important to take care of our own hearts. It's really important to take care of our own hearts so that we can have the resilience to show up, to show up and either be on the streets or in whatever way you are showing up in this zeitgeist in this time, so that there is more resilience, more availability, more care.

It's always a good time for self-compassion, for self-care, and holding whatever might be coming up for you at this time. This zeitgeist, it's a challenging time. And right now, there is also a lot of inspiration, a lot of hope for change. And it's challenging. It's hard.

So without speaking too much, I'd like to just meditate together and invite us into getting settled in our bodies, in our hearts, and offering care for ourselves. And I think what I'd like to do after we've settled and offered holding for our own heart is to open it up to care and compassion for all beings and radiate it out, doing it in stages.

Guided Meditation

So with that, I'd like to invite all of us to get into a comfortable meditation posture. Whatever is nourishing for you in this moment. Feel free to move from a chair to a cushion. Maybe it's most nourishing for you to be lying down right now, and that's perfectly all right. Whatever is supportive for you in the way of caring for yourself.

And landing. Landing in this body. Landing in this moment in time. Softening the body, inviting the body to relax.

And just for a moment, just for the duration of this practice period, in order to nourish yourself, nourish your own heart in care and love for more resilience and availability for the world and for yourself, put down—put down for a moment for the duration of this practice period—bowing to your thoughts, to your cares, to your concerns. Bowing to them deeply. They are important, and in order to serve them better, in order to serve them more fully, honoring them by putting them down for just a few minutes and inviting your body, your mind, your heart to relax, to soften, to let go.

It's okay. It's really okay to just simply sit and breathe and be simple. To just sit and let this body—this amazing, beautiful, grace-filled body—just breathe or be breathed. And with each breath, inviting your body to relax and land more deeply.

As if each breath were a message from the Buddha with love, pure love, unconditional love. Or a message from Kuan Yin^[1], or Jesus, or Mother Mary, or whatever archetype represents pure love, unconditional love for you. It's okay.

Imagining that each breath, each air that enters your body is a nourishment and fills your heart, your whole body with brightness, with care. And it's just available to you. It's offered freely. There's nothing you have to do. There's nothing you have to do to deserve it.

Just because you live, you are a human. As challenging as it is to be human, especially these days, just because, you are worthy. You are worthy of care, of love, of affection unconditionally.

And notice that even it is not you who is breathing; it's the body that knows how to breathe. Just get out of the way and let the breath fill you up with goodness, with care, with unconditional love. It happens on its own.

Letting, inviting, allowing the breath to fill your body, all the nooks and crannies. Especially if there are any areas of your body that have been challenged. If there has been any pain, illness, heaviness, sickness, if any part has been suffering, directing more love to that area, to that part of you. Letting the breath fill that area up more fully. Letting each loving breath be calming and soothing, nurturing. Bringing more groundedness.

And if you wish, putting a palm on your heart center, the middle of your chest, and connecting with yourself. Maybe connecting with something that has been challenging for you today. Something that has been a cause for pain, sorrow, sadness, heaviness. Allowing yourself to hold, to hold yourself with care. Feeling held in care, in kindness, not in judgment or self-flagellation. If any of that is arising, letting it go.

What if you were kind to yourself for what was challenging? What is challenging right now? What if you met yourself with understanding? What if you appreciated all the causes and conditions? All the causes and conditions—so many of them, and so many of them beyond your control—put in motion long ago, in a different time, a different space.

What if you acknowledged just for a moment, just for this moment, try on the perspective that I'm doing the best I can. I'm doing the best I can with this challenge. If there is any way it was possible for me to act differently or to do differently, I would have. Given all the causes and conditions, I've done the best I can. Just for a moment, try it on for size. See what happens. You don't have to take this perspective all the time, but just try it on for size. See what happens in your body and in your heart. Is there a release? Could there be a sense of ease when the mind lets go of the insult added to injury?

And as you allow yourself to be held in unconditional kindness by this compassionate image through your breath, breathing loving breath, adding your own words for your own care and well-being.

May I be safe. May I be safe from inner and outer harm. Really connecting with a wish of safety for yourself. May I be safe from inner and outer harm.

May I be happy, truly happy, and have joy in my heart. What would that feel like in your body if you are happy and joyful?

May I be healthy and strong. May I be healthy and strong as much as possible. And how would that feel? This wish, how would it show up? Does it make you feel taller? Sit taller? This wish for health when you really connect with it? Do your lungs fill more wholly with air, with oxygen?

The fourth wish: may I have ease, may my life flow with ease. May I take care of myself happily. Connecting with this wish for yourself, how does it show up in your body? A wish for ease in your life. What if your life unfolded with ease? What would it feel like in your body?

May I be safe. May I be safe from inner and outer harm. If you connected with a feeling of safety, this wish of safety, what would safety feel like in your bones?

May I be happy and joyful. Connecting with happiness and joy. How does that feel in your body? Wishing that for yourself. Really connecting with this wish for yourself. Not shying away from goodness, from happiness, from joy. It's a gift to yourself and all those whose lives you touch. May I be happy and have joy in my heart.

May I be healthy. May I be healthy and strong. May I be healthy and strong. I enjoy good health as much as possible. May this body feel a sense of vitality. Connecting, really connecting. How does that feel? That wish as if it were true in this moment. How would it show up for you as a felt sense?

May I have ease. May my life flow with ease. Connecting with that too, one more time.

Connecting with goodwill, kindness for this being that is you. Reciting the phrases silently in your own mind and connecting with the felt sense. Experiment and see which works for you. Feeling held by the kindness of the universe, a compassionate being through the breath with the phrases, or holding yourself with slightly different perspectives of care. You can also try to hold both perspectives at the same time: being held and holding yourself.

Now I'd like to invite you to turn as if having received, having been held with care and kindness, you recycle it onto the world. It's not so much yours to generate, but as you've received this electricity, your light is shining. Your light of care, friendliness is shining brightly. Just simply not getting in its way, letting it shine. This light of mettā^[2], goodwill, care, friendliness with all beings.

And as you move through the world with your own heart filled, your own cup filled, it runneth over. This mettā, as if electricity having filled you, this energy of the universe, this energy of love now shines out brightly. The feeling of benevolence, friendliness. And with each breath it is fed, this light is nurtured and it just shines. The light of goodwill shines. Let it shine.

Imagining that this light shining, whomever it touches in the world, it brings comfort and succor. Whomever it shines upon, this light of care.

We each have so much to give. Even if at times we feel empty, tired, exhausted, disempowered, we each have so much, by simply letting the brightness of our light shine. And we each, every one of us has a bright light of beauty and grace. The divine shining through us, letting it shine.

Reflections

Thank you all for your practice together this evening, holding each other, holding yourselves with mettā and compassion. Before we go into groups, I'd like to open it up for just one-word reflections typed into chat. Maybe a word or a phrase if you wish. What is arising for you in this moment?

Thank you. Nav, "altruism." That's what Nav is suggesting. Thank you, Jasna. "Ease." Tracy, "peace." Thank you both. And for me, what's arising is a spaciousness of heart, a sense of limitlessness of the beyond that is possible that I cannot quite imagine in this moment, but the possibility.

Austin offers "connected calm," offers "inspiration." Barry offers "curiosity." Richard offers "grace." Thank you all. Beautiful offerings. Thank you. Yes, Nancy offers "luminous." Thank you. Liz, "peace and a desire to shine light on everyone." Thank you, Liz. Kenya offering "comfort." Thank you for that. Thank you for the reflections.

Group Practice Instructions

Now I'd like to invite us to practice holding ourselves and shining the light of care on other people in small groups in triads. What would it be like if you engaged in just a small group for six minutes of speaking and deep listening, shining your light of care? No matter what people say, just shining your light of care. See what it feels like experimentally. Not just hypothetically as something you do with your eyes closed, but what it actually feels like. Even if they say something that you disagree with or whatever it might be, just can you shine the light of care and friendliness and goodwill on these random people from around the country and the world whom you will come in contact with in six minutes.

Practice. See what happens. Feel it in your bones. Feel it in your body. Can you receive the light of care? And can you shine that on people? Not being caught up in what you're going to say, and whatever comes out of your mouth is fine. It doesn't matter how much of what you're going to say in this check-in. It's more the way you show up. It's a practice.

So again, the process of how you show up, holding space, shining a light, holding kindness, holding the space with kindness. And each person will check in for a minute or two. How are you right now? How was this practice for you? And there's no right or wrong. You can say, "I fell asleep. I didn't follow anything." "I loved it." "I didn't like it." Whatever. It doesn't matter so much what you say, but how you show up and how you hold others in care.

So, I invite you to try this out. Experiment. Be a scientist of your own mind. And if you decide tonight is not the right night for you to participate, it's completely understandable. This would be the time to bow out before I make the groups. So, I'm about to make the breakout groups. Here we go.

Group Check-in

Hello everyone. Welcome back. Great. I think all the rooms are closed. We are back. So, you can unmute yourself if you want or you can raise your hand and I will unmute you. And yeah, this is a great invitation to check in. How was your practice? How was your practice in groups? Or maybe the first part. So please, we have a few minutes. What did you notice? What did you realize? What came up for you?

Barry: I really appreciated in the small groups people sharing what they do in their practice and sort of comparing notes. I really appreciate that. I get a lot out of it. I was with David and Arley—I'm pronouncing the name wrong—but I thank you for sharing some of your practice.

Nikki Mirghafori: Beautiful. Thank you, Barry. Thanks for sharing that. Yeah, Nancy, you have your hand up, please.

Nancy: In our group, I think all of us in the last couple of days have sort of rolled through a number of different feelings and rollercoasters. And we had a lot of compassion for ourselves and I think each other, and sort of weathering the storms as they've arisen.

Nikki Mirghafori: Yeah. Thank you. So, what I'm hearing is given how challenging the past couple of days have been, in the group you were in, you were both holding yourselves and holding each other with compassion, which is lovely to both give and receive. Thank you for that. Liz, you're unmuted, please.

Liz: Hi. That was wonderful. It's hard to put into words, but there was a unifying effect when we were there. There was a feeling of unity and support and compassion, and acknowledgment and appreciation for your meditation. It was wonderful. During these challenging times, it really makes a difference to have a night like this, more than ever. Thank you so much.

Nikki Mirghafori: Thank you so much, Liz, for showing up and practicing for yourself and others. Without you and others showing up and practicing at happy hour, we wouldn't have happy hour in the evening. Such a blessing because you show up. Thank you, Liz.

Liz: You're welcome. Lots of love.

Nikki Mirghafori: Any other reflections? Yeah. Anyone? Any other reflections, please? Fortunately, I can't see physical hands, but you can just unmute yourself or raise your Zoom hand. Anything else? Any questions? Anything that was challenging? It's all welcome. Everything is welcome.

Okay. Well, with less than a minute to go, I take that as a pass.

Closing Thoughts

So, I just want to say that any day is a good day for self-mettā and self-compassion. Every day is a good day. Especially when times are challenging, and for us to really nourish and nurture ourselves, our hearts. We are hurting. And as the Buddha said, if you search the whole world, you won't find anyone more deserving and worthy of your own care and compassion than yourself.

So, please take care of yourselves. Take care of your own hearts. Kindness, compassion, both for yourself and for the sake of the world so that you can be more available to show up for everyone everywhere.

May all beings everywhere be safe, be happy, healthy, and have ease. May all beings everywhere, including ourselves, be free.

Thanks everyone for joining tonight and nourishing yourselves and each other and me. Wonderful to share the practice with you. All right, take care. Good night, good morning, good afternoon, whatever your time zone. Bye.

[Exchange of goodbyes]