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Guided Meditation: Supported by Pleasure

Good day, everyone. Warm greetings.

And to come and sit in meditation, for me, is often a very... what kind of a homecoming? But it's also a time to settle down in a meaningful way into the fullness of life in all its different aspects. And since this week we're talking about challenges, even when I've had major challenges with tragedies and things, I've always felt that coming to meditation was not an avoidance, but there was a rightness. There was a satisfaction in sitting present for it all that borders on being pleasant, but to say it's pleasant seems to be too much given the enormity of what's happening. So I say that it feels like a rightness to it all. It's right to sit in the middle of it. It's right to be with what's happening. It's right to be non-defensive, non-resistant, non-critical, non-externalizing. It's right to be here for these minutes in the middle of it all, breathing present.

And even though it might seem disrespectful to the challenge we have, that sense of rightness can be a partner, or be a sibling, or be the same as a certain kind of pleasure, a certain kind of pleasantness. A certain kind of pleasantness that comes from breathing easily. A pleasantness that comes from an awareness of it all that is tender and gentle, kind, supportive, compassionate. Or is non-resistant, non-critical, not caught up in thoughts and ideas. So sometimes in Buddhism we call this wholesome, wholesome attention. A wholesome attention to what is difficult. Where in all the cracks of our preoccupations and thoughts, maybe we begin getting a glimpse of this feeling of rightness and even a... maybe we call it bordering on pleasant, pleasant attention.

And when there are no challenges, it's a time to train and develop our capacity to take in the pleasant. A big part of this practice is to show up for what is happening, but we often have a selectivity bias, sometimes to the negative. And there's an art to this practice of being present for what is, that takes into account what is pleasant. It takes it into account enough that it has an influence on us, that it kind of settles us, helps the mind want to be in the present moment.

So, enter into your meditation posture. Adjusting your posture, looking for a posture that has some modicum of rightness. Feeling right. Feeling right for the purpose of being attentive, not right for the purpose of being relaxed, though that's nice. But the emphasis is on alertness.

Gently closing the eyes. And taking some long, slow, deep breaths in a way that's right for you. It feels like a good way of connecting to yourself, to your body. How deep that is is up to you. And relaxing on the exhale.

Letting the breathing return to normal, scan through the body and see where on the exhale you can soften and relax the body. And as you do so, to feel whatever pleasantness or relief that comes from that relaxation.

And then to calmly settle into the body breathing. Where awareness has a light enough touch with breathing—most likely the physical sensations of breathing or the place where awareness touches the body. Where the touch is light, soft. Where awareness yields to the sensations of breathing, the movements in the body of the breathing.

And is there anything pleasant in the cycle of breathing? The in-breath or the out-breath? Anything that feels pleasant or satisfying, or simply has a rightness, goodness in attending to it?

Without denying any unpleasant or painful experiences in the moment, as you're aware of your breathing, also be aware of what is pleasant. And can you relax the mind that's mindful, so that awareness, mindfulness of breathing itself has some pleasure in it, some rightness? The awareness of breathing is open, allowing, receptive, kind, gentle. Or there's a certain joy or delight in the application of attention, that maybe is similar to the joy or delight of playing a musical instrument or doing a craft. Being involved with breathing with interest and giving ourselves over to it. Where whatever is unpleasant now is included on the side, with, at the center, taking in whatever is pleasant in the moment. Without holding on to it or insisting on it, just gently here.

When we tighten up around something, resist something, when we become antagonistic towards something, afraid—all those movements of mind are unpleasant, and that unpleasantness has an influence on us. If those things are happening, recognize it, but don't linger there. Look for what is pleasant. See if you can adjust and find a pleasant way to be aware, to be present. Let yourself be influenced, conditioned by what is pleasant, no matter how small it might be. So that you're less likely to be adding the unpleasantness of reactivity.

And then as we come to the end of the sitting, is there a way that you can now bring to mind people of your life, known and unknown, strangers and known people, friends and neighbors, colleagues? Bring them to mind or gaze out upon them in a way that has some pleasure in it, some positive feeling of pleasantness. To relax, settle back. To calmly gaze upon the world where the gazing has a kind of pleasantness in it or goodness in it that you wish for all people to have.

May everyone have the ability to be aware pleasantly, calmly. Where they enjoy attending to others. Where there's a rightness, there's no stress. Where there's no resistance or worry mixed up with the awareness of others. To gaze upon the world kindly, and to wish others to also have well-being. To be able to come from a place of their goodness, their kindness, their care.

May all beings know their own goodness. May all beings know how to tap into the pleasure of awareness, the freedom of non-clinging, the warmth of generosity, the safety of non-harming. May all beings be happy. May all beings be safe. May all beings be peaceful. May all beings be free.

Dharmette: The Dharma of Challenges (4 of 5) Personal Responsibility

So to continue the topic of the Dharma of challenges. We will be challenged in this life, that's a certainty, and how do we meet it? How does the Dharma help us with it? And so building on last week, the fourth kind of meaning of Dharma is Dharma as teachings. And so for Buddhists, the teachings of the Buddha. And so how can they be a resource, a support for us in our challenges?

One of them is to orient us in a direction that's effective and meaningful, and to kind of take in the teachings of the Buddha maybe in their fullness. And to see sometimes it's not necessarily what's predominantly taught, but the overall foundation for what's being taught there. And so there are two things that stand out to me that when I read the suttas^[1] point to a very important direction in which to help us in times of challenges or this challenging life.

One is, I'll start with a metaphor, because then maybe what I'll say will be more understandable, less protests. And that is, if a person is an athlete and say they're going to run a race, and it's an important race for them, and they need to be at their very top physical ability to do this. So in the hour before the race, that person is going to take responsibility for how best to be ready for the race. And they're going to be very focused on that and very intentional. And so if they need to do something, they'll make sure that that can be done. Some of that is warming up. Some of them might be doing gentle runs, doing the very thing that they're going to be doing at the race but doing it slowly, warming up a little bit faster and faster, getting the body limber and ready for it, and the system going. But they're taking responsibility; they're not asking their trainer to run for them.

If they need to set their mind in a certain state, they might meditate or do something, maybe they even take a nap. Or maybe they just do something that clearly takes their mind off the race so that they can relax more deeply and not be caught in some tension around it. And so they're very intentional and they're taking responsibility for doing the thing that will take their mind off the race. So the athlete is really taking responsibility more than maybe anybody else. They're not looking at the weather every five minutes thinking about whether the weather's not particularly good and maybe it'll get better. Or they're not going around complaining that the track is not as even as they wish it could be, going around to everyone saying, "Look, this is not right." No one can do anything at such a late time, but if it's important to go and complain, they don't do that. They take responsibility for how they're going to show up, getting themselves ready.

So what we find in the teachings of the Buddha is that the orientation that he has can be a little bit like getting ready for life. And taking responsibility for ourselves to get ourselves in the right frame of mind, the right capacity, the right skills, the right strengths so that we can engage in life fully. And so there's a distinction here that I think is useful. The distinction of seeing the Dharma practice as that part of life where we're kind of preparing ourselves for life. We're loosening ourselves up, freeing ourselves up, getting limbered up, getting ready, getting wise, understanding ourselves in a way that only we can take responsibility for.

When we're in the middle of a challenge, then the challenge has its own dynamics that we have to take care of and do and address. But in terms of the Dharma of the challenge, a big part of that is taking responsibility for our end of it. How are we participating? So, I can imagine that if a racer is racing along, and some fellow racer running next to them says something really mean just to trip you up during their race, you don't argue with the person and tell them, "Let's have a meeting and talk about this and work it out." If you're in the race, you just take responsibility for yourself in order to manage your feelings so you can do the race.

When we're in the world of challenges with other people and arguments and difficulties, we take care of the difficulty in an appropriate way. And sometimes we do have the conversation with people, do say things to people. But what's important to remember is that Dharma is always taking responsibility for how we are. To see what we're contributing to the challenge. To see how we're contributing to our own suffering and distress around this. Even though the other person has caused a lot of distress, the Dharma is found by really centering here and finding out what we are doing, and finding the freedom here so that when we are in the race of life, if we are in the middle of the challenges of life and what's going on, we're in a good place to be able to do that effectively and honestly and clearly, and do what needs to be done in it. Not to avoid anything, but to really be able to come from this place of freedom and generosity and kindness and non-stress.

So you find this tremendous emphasis on—it's kind of a very strong individualistic teaching that the Buddha gave. This really taking responsibility for yourself so that you can care for others. The culture is very collectivist and connected to people and what's going on, but there's something we have to do here, that's where the Dharma practice is found. To a big degree we do it together with other people, we're supported by each other, we mirror^[2] each other. But there's this emphasis on what are we doing here, what's our contribution?

And then when we do that, another part of the teaching which is phenomenal, and I think in the modern world we're learning how important it is for many circumstances, and that is the willingness to feel pleasure. The Buddha's teaching is very focused on both taking responsibility for what's happening, but also understanding that what we do conditions us. What we do creates a habit. What we do creates an environment that then conditions us. And if we do things which are unhealthy, that creates an unhealthy conditioning within us, and we're more likely to feel off. When we feel off, we're more likely to do unhealthy things. And so in taking responsibility for ourselves, the idea is to find what conditions us positively, do the things that create a good environment for ourselves so that that influences us.

And it's not being Pollyanna, it's not sugarcoating over and pretending that there aren't difficulties and suffering. The Dharma practice is the opposite of that. It's really being honest for what's happening and showing up. But in doing so, how do we be present for all this so that the way we're attending, the way we're being with our experience and ourselves has a positive influence on us, is a positive conditioning? So if we show up with stress, if we show up with resistance and anger, if we show up with greed for something, that's going to condition us in ways which are not really helpful in the long term. But if we show up to difficulties with... and sometimes, rather than showing up with positive states, the best we can do is show up with the absence of the negative ones. We show up without giving in to anger. We might be angry; we won't give in to it. We don't complain. We might be greedy; we don't give in to it. It's the giving in to and the participating that is where the conditioning is.

So a big part of mindfulness practice is to be mindful of what's happening, but we can carry along with us that awareness, that mindfulness of the present moment. We can carry baggage with us where there's a little complaining, a little fear, a little stress (or big going on), or a little sense of duty and pushing and trying hard, or expectation or wanting it to be different. All kinds of conditioning things we do that are reinforcing something which is not so pleasant for us, not beneficial for us, doesn't prepare us for the race.

But can we learn how to be mindful even of great difficulties so that how we're mindful is satisfying? How mindfulness has a positive influence on us, even if all that is—and it's not a minor thing—is we can be aware of what's happening with clarity. We're clear and open and available for what's there. And we can't summon up kindness, we can't summon up compassion, we can't summon up generosity. But it does feel good to just step forward openly and be aware. "Oh yes." That's a good conditioning.

So it can seem like a big burden to be involved in a practice that we have to take responsibility for ourselves in, and that it's a central feature. And it can seem like somehow not a realistic spirituality to start being conditioned by what's pleasant, the enjoyable. But it turns out that that is a path, a way of preparing ourselves for being in this world in a very realistic way, and a beneficial way, in a full way. We are not preparing ourselves if we show up with complaining, and anger, and fear, and distress, and clamping down, giving up. There are all these things the mind does that we give in to or allow for.

And it's a phenomenal thing to be beginning to reclaim a certain kind of personal power, a certain kind of personal strength where we don't succumb, we don't collapse, and we don't give in to things which are unhealthy for us and unhealthy for the world. And out of that grows the lotus in muddy waters^[3]. All the complicated difficulty of our life, the ways in which we're caught up in attachments and clinging and unhealthy behavior—rather than seeing it as being unfortunate, it's the compost from which can grow the lotus. And it becomes compost if we don't participate in it, if we don't grow it, but allow it to settle back into the soil and decay, and support the growth of something quite beautiful.

So the Dharma is also teachings, and this is I think some of the central teachings from the Buddha that I think can challenge us, can enliven us, can give us a directionality for being with challenges that begins this process of showing up for challenges with a certain kind of personal strength, personal agency, that is so important. In challenges, when we don't have agency, when we feel helpless and hopeless, it really has a powerfully negative conditioning for us. And the Dharma says you're never helpless because you can always show up and bring practice to it. Even if you can't change what's going on, even if you do all the preparations in the world and you're in your peak shape for the race, you might still lose the race. But boy was it good to show up and be present to do the race in the best state that we can be in. Maybe that was the winning, not the literal winning of the race.

So thank you, and may you look at today as you go through the day, look and see about the state of your mind, the state of your reactivity to what's going on in the world. How you participate in anything you're doing, how you might be conditioning yourself. What influence does it have on your state of being, your state of mind? Just study that. And maybe to really get into that study, have some conversations with people about how this works for you. So thank you, and we'll have another challenge tomorrow.