Guided Meditation: Mindful with Kindness
- Date:
- 2020-11-08
- Speakers:
- Gil Fronsdal [Talks] [@AudioDharma]
- Location:
- Insight Meditation Center [Talks] [@YouTube]
- Generation:
- 2026-09-11 (gemini-3-pro-preview) [Raw Markdown] [YouTube Video]
- Keywords:
This is an AI-generated transcript from auto-generated subtitles for the video above. It likely contains inaccuracies, especially with speaker attribution if there are multiple speakers.
Guided Meditation: Mindful with Kindness
Warm greetings. It is Sunday morning here in California, and I see there are people here from France, Turkey, Mexico, and the East Coast. It's wonderful to see all of us gathering together for the meditation and the Dharma[1], so thank you very much.
As an introduction to this meditation, there are four guidelines that the Buddha gives for Right Speech[2]. He says a lot about it, but a particular list of four to consider when you're going to speak is: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it beneficial? And is it timely?
The same thing can be applied to how we speak to ourselves or how we think about ourselves in meditation. Is what we're thinking—how we are with ourselves—true? Are we connecting to what's really happening in a truthful way?
Is it kind? How are we with ourselves? How do we relate to ourselves?
Is it beneficial? How are we relating to ourselves or to whatever is happening in meditation?
And is it timely? Being timely means: Am I on time? Am I in time, or am I ahead of time, or after time? Thinking about the future means you're ahead of time. If you're thinking about the past, you're behind time. You are in time here and now.
And is it kind? This is one of the primary characteristics of both the goal of Buddhist practice and the means to it. It is to have a degree of care, kindness, and friendliness in all directions, but in particular to oneself—and to do so when it's beneficial, in a beneficial way.
So, to sit and meditate, remember that we sit down to see if we can relate to ourselves, be here, and evoke some appropriate way of seeing ourselves. We hold ourselves in friendship, in a friendly way. We relate to ourselves and all that we experience in a kind, caring, and perhaps compassionate way. This allows us to settle. This allows us to not be in conflict or struggle with ourselves.
If it's hard to be kind, don't struggle with that. Maybe there's a way of offering some goodwill to that difficulty. Of course, it's difficult. Of course, this is a hard life, and difficult things have happened. Because of that difficulty, and even that challenge, we have to be kind. Let's have goodwill toward that: compassion, care.
Take up this meditation. Take a posture. Here, too, maybe the posture can be a true posture—a posture that's true to your innate value and dignity. The Buddhist word would be your innate nobility. A posture true to your circumstance, to how your body is, and what you're able to do.
Is the posture kind? Or are you straining and trying to almost get away from something or to prove something? Can it be a kind posture, a friendly posture? And can it be beneficial? The posture you're sitting in should find the balance between alertness and relaxation. It's not beneficial to be overly relaxed, and it's not beneficial to be overly alert. The balance of those two is as if relaxation and alertness are two sides of the same hand.
And are you in time? Establish yourself here in this time by taking a few long, slow, deep breaths. As you exhale, relax into this time, this place, this body, this being that you are. For these minutes, maybe you'll be kind. As you inhale, fill yourself with kindness. Fill yourself with goodwill or a sense of care, as if you're caring for yourself. After all, this is a path to freeing ourselves from suffering. It's one of the most beneficial and caring things we can do.
Let your breathing return to normal, and continue to relax a bit. As you exhale, soften wherever in your body you might feel some extra holding or tension. Soften and relax in the face, in the shoulders, and in the chest—softening[3] both the surface of the chest and deep in the heart center—and soften the belly.
Then, sitting quietly, see if there's some gentle way—and maybe it's only a slight way—that you can open up an attitude of friendliness to all that you will experience during this meditation. Open an attitude of kindness so that your awareness is kind and caring.
What's beneficial about such a simple, kind, open awareness is that it makes it easier to gather ourselves together, to become whole, unified, and connected to it all. It's easier to do so when we're not in conflict with what's going on or racing away from what's happening here.
A great support for all this, for some of us, can be resting this experience—this kind awareness—with the breathing. Breathing in and breathing out. If it's nice for you to do so, maybe as you inhale, feel kindness, goodwill, and care filling throughout your body. As you exhale, spread that outwards beyond you into the world. Kindness is born with the beginning of the in-breath and spreads wide in the exhale. Let the thinking mind become quieter, stiller, and softer. Not trying too hard, but not letting up either. A gentle persistence in breathing in and breathing out. Breathing kindness spreads through the body and spreads beyond. May we generate kindness for ourselves and for all things.
When you find yourself drifting off in thought, use that as a reminder to be kind. In that kindness and friendliness, appreciate that it's more beneficial to be awake to what's happening here and now—to be in time, on time here, with kind awareness. Breathing in and breathing out. This movement towards kindness perhaps makes it more inviting to be awake, to be mindful, and to be present here.
As we come to the end of the sitting, perhaps, if it's easy enough for you, generate goodwill, kindness, compassion, and a sense of care. Just as you fill your lungs with oxygen as you inhale, fill your body with a sense of care and kindness. As you exhale, spread that kindness out to the people you think it would be useful to hold in your care, your kindness, and your friendliness. Breathing out, spread it out to those you know, and think of wishing them well: friends, family, people around the world who you don't know, people who are struggling and are unhappy, and people who are happy and celebrating. See if you can spread your goodwill outward equally to all beings everywhere.
This very basic human sense of care and goodwill is something that's appropriate to spread wide, far, and equally to all beings. Have the aspiration that every time you meditate, you do so to benefit yourself and to benefit the world. Meditate for your own welfare and the welfare of others, maybe equally. The more the meditation benefits you, the more you'll be able to benefit the world.
May it be that our meditation this morning, or this day, is for the welfare and happiness of the whole world—that we make a difference on this day. When you get up from meditation and continue over the next 24 hours, perhaps we're inspired to act, to speak, and to think with goodwill toward the people we encounter and the people who come into our hearts and minds.
May all beings be kind. May all beings receive our goodwill. May all beings be happy. May all beings be safe. And may all beings be free.
Dharma: A Sanskrit term (Dhamma in Pali) often referring to the teachings of the Buddha, the truth, or the fundamental nature of reality. ↩︎
Right Speech: One of the components of the Noble Eightfold Path in Buddhism. The Buddha outlined guidelines for ethical communication, emphasizing speech that is truthful, harmonious, gentle, and meaningful. ↩︎
Original transcript said 'supposed to surf', corrected to 'softening' based on context. ↩︎