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Happy Hour: Awareness as Love

So for tonight's happy hour theme, what I would like to offer and lead us in is appreciating the practice of tethering the mind in the present moment ever so gently as an act of kindness, as a practice of kindness. What I mean by that is a lot of times our minds go to the past, the past that cannot be changed because conditions were exactly as they were. Whatever arose in the past, it had to happen exactly the way it did. But our minds going to the past and trying to revisit what happened, trying to redo it, trying to bargain, trying to say "what if"—when it's not wise, it's not helpful.

Similarly, our mind sometimes goes into the future with a sense of worry and fear: "Oh, what if that happens? What if that does not happen?" Trying to go through all different scenarios in order to have a sense of control over a future that cannot really be controlled. That's the beauty of it. That's the charm of being human. That's the delight, the awe-inspiring nature of being human.

So as an act of kindness, keep the awareness, keep the attention close, close in our heart, close in our bodies, close on what is happening right here, right now. Offering up the past that cannot be changed without restlessness and worry, and similarly offering up the future that hasn't come yet, and finding a sense of spaciousness, and ground, and stability in a fullness of presence. A fullness of presence. "Oh, what is here right now? What is arising right now?" And allowing a sense of trust, a sense of stability, a sense of goodness of what is here right now to give us a sense of dignity, stability, trust, and confidence to face whatever the next moment might bring.

By turning fully towards the present moment, turning fully towards embracing, opening up to what's right here, right now, we find a lot of resourcefulness that we would not find if we are lost in the past or worrying about what might not be here. We might lose our mooring; we can lose our stability.

So, by offering ourselves a sense of refuge in the present moment, we can see that as an act of kindness, to see that as an act of care, as an act of metta^[1] to ourselves, to our own hearts, to our own minds, by gently bringing ourselves back to the present moment. What I will incorporate today in the guided meditation is seeing this sense of presence as a radical, kind act to ourselves. Not as a discipline of "come back mind, come back attention here now." No, not at all, but really as a way of self-care. It's how we really care for ourselves, for our own hearts, for our minds, by being here. By being right here, right here, right here, right here, where it's fresh, where it's full, where every moment is a new arrival and a new cessation. Right here where it is so rich, where everything is unfolding here, instead of a past and a future that are more hypothetical.

Guided Meditation

With that as the invitation, I'd like to ask us to get comfortable in our meditation posture. If you need to move, this is the perfect time to make yourself comfortable. Settling, settling in your body. Landing, letting go. So much has come before today. Offering up all of that as an act of kindness, as an act of care to yourself. Offering that up and landing, arriving with the felt sensations of this body first.

As an act of kindness, turning the attention to the breath, to the movement of the breath through the body as it fills your lungs, your abdomen, your whole body. As an act of care, turning towards the sensations, turning attention, awareness to the pulsations. This body breathing, pulsating. With each breath^[2], softening and relaxing. Letting go of any holding in the body in terms of tension. Letting go of any holding in the mind.

Noticing how turning the attention to the breath, to the body in this moment is an act of love, an act of care.

Letting yourself land, relax into it as your body relaxes, softens. Letting awareness relax into the spaciousness of this moment. Arising and passing. The breath with its fullness, sensations of the body in their immediacy.

And opening further to sounds. With spaciousness within you and all around you in this moment, sounds are arising and passing. The sound of my voice. Ambient sounds.

And if you find at any point the mind resting on thoughts of the past and the future, you have a couple of options. If you notice there is an entanglement, maybe smilingly, lovingly offering up the thoughts for now as an act of love, as an act of care with gentleness. Resting in what's arising, the immediacy of the present moment experience: the body, breath, sounds.

And if there is no entanglement with the thoughts—if they're just wafting through—there's a sense of presence with goodwill and care for yourself. Stable in the present moment, letting them come and go, passing. In the spaciousness of the care and the love of being passionately, lovingly, in a wholesome way, resting, being awake in the present moment.

Can you relate to resting in the present moment as an act of love and care for yourself? And if so, how?

Can attending, being aware of every in and out breath be like a love letter that you're writing to yourself every moment with each breath?

As different sensations call your attention in your body—sensations of your sit bones contacting the chair, your hands touching your lap or each other, sensations of the breath, or whatever other sensation calls you—could you see brushing the sensations with awareness as an act of care and love for yourself? "Oh, dear body, I care for you so much. I pay attention. I shower you with my attention, with awareness as an act of care in this moment for this being that is me."

And if you feel any resistance with that, see how you would pay attention if someone you cared about needed it, how you would attend to their needs, to their physical needs. Let's tap into that very feeling for yourself as an act of care, metta, friendliness, and love for yourself.

Can awareness and love be intertwined? Can your love have awareness filled in it? Can your awareness be filled with gentle, tender care?

Now, what if hearing, listening to the sounds arising and passing in this present moment, meeting the sounds, is considered an act of love? Meeting them with your awareness. Maybe the sounds appear like graceful love notes from the universe, holding you, supporting you in this moment.

Could love be the awareness internally and externally? Not so much as a doing—that you are doing it—awareness is present, you can't turn your awareness off even if you tried. But simply noticing that the act of paying attention in this particular way is an act of love, an act of care. Perhaps seeing it just for one second.

As we conclude the sitting, turning the awareness from internal to external, a sense of awareness of all the people who are present with you very truly right now practicing. Offering your awareness to them as a sense of care, like a silent greeting: "Hello, I'm glad you're here with me today, right now, practicing together in community. In silent, yet heartfelt, heartful community." And all the beings everywhere, practicing or not, living, breathing in this moment on this earth. Freeing your awareness as an act of care and act of love, friendliness to all beings everywhere.

Thank you all.

Reflections

So, attention as an act of love, as an act of care. Resting in awareness in the present moment as a radical act of care and love, taking care of ourselves especially in this crazy time that humanity is facing. If you'd like to share a word or two about what's coming up for you, you can raise your hand and I can unmute you, or you can just type it in the chat window and I will read them out loud.

I think what's coming up for me is gladness, happiness. Gratitude for this moment as complex as it is, sitting and practicing with you. There's a deep appreciation of humanity in all its joys and its sorrows is what's arising for me.

Richard, please, I'm going to unmute you.

Richard: Great, thank you. So for me, when we first started out, I noticed that familiar sense of unsteadiness and like a ball moving in all directions. And I started feeling sleepiness, tension, pain in my shoulder that I hadn't acknowledged today, and I felt sort of a resistance to it. But as I followed along with the breath, I would try to keep coming back to the breath, seemingly to no avail. But then I remembered kindness, and I kept just trying to hold all those things with kindness. And I think eventually it was the kindness that worked. At the point when you said "that one moment of presence," I did feel just something for the briefest microsecond of some... all I can say is it felt like some type of unification. And so having felt that, at least I know that it's there. So thank you.

Nikki: Lovely. Thank you for sharing that, Richard. Beautiful.

A friend shares in the chat, "Contentment is what's arising for him." And Mark, I like your mentioning the word "spaciousness" as an act of love. Ah, yeah, me too. Sweet. Kim offers, "Softness arising in this moment."

So with this now, I invite us into a transition to practice a few precious little minutes of sharing with each other in community. Taking the practice of offering kindness, this awareness as kindness and care, as love. Paul now comments, "Writing a love letter to yourself is so powerful. Thank you." Appreciate that. So taking this practice internally and seeing how it feels to now relate to another couple of human beings in this space. Just a couple of minutes of sharing, which is powerful and can be very different from your other Zoom calls. So if you're on the fence, I invite you to try it out. It's not very long, it's just a few minutes. And if you have decided tonight it's not for you to share and connect in this brief way, it's perfectly fine to bow out right now as we transition into a few minutes of connection. I'll let you make the decision, and I'm going to create the breakout rooms now.

[Breakout rooms occur]

Welcome back. Great. So I would love to hear a couple of reflections. How was the practice tonight for you? Be that the first practice or the second practice of sharing in community with this idea of awareness as loving care for yourself and also offering it to others. You can raise your hand and I can unmute you. What did you notice?

Participant: It was wonderful. It was a quick way to stay present. It was like giving myself metta. I'm not sure how to explain it, I guess because it was kind of only one step that wasn't... I'm thinking about that. Instead of "come back, I'm here thinking," just a shorter connection.

Nikki: I think what I'm hearing in what you're sharing is that with metta, with care, with love being infused in the awareness, it doesn't seem like it's two steps to remember to be kind to myself. Just the fact that I'm attending to myself or attending to others is, "Oh, I see you, that is an act of kindness." Wow. It's simpler than I thought, it's right in there. Is that what you were experiencing?

Participant: Yes.

Nikki: Lovely. Yeah, thanks for sharing that. That is beautiful. Trudy, you have yourself unmuted, please.

Trudy: Yes, I just want to share that Yuka taught us that you don't have to speak a lot of English to connect and bring kindness to a group. That is so sweet. That warms my heart.

Nikki: Mine too. Thank you for joining tonight, this morning, whatever time zone you're in, Yuka. It's so sweet. It's so lovely, thank you.

Well, it's 7:00 PM Pacific time and it's lovely to end on that note that you definitely don't need to speak any English to participate, especially in the sharing, and bring a sense of care and love and connection to the community. So whatever language you speak, whatever is the language of your heart, thank you for joining all of us and joining each other in this community, and practicing care, awareness, and love for yourself and for each other.

May all beings, may everyone have happiness, goodness, peace, ease, and safety. Thank you all, my heart is buoyed.