This is an AI-generated transcript from auto-generated subtitles for the video above. It likely contains inaccuracies, especially with speaker attribution if there are multiple speakers.

Happy Hour: Metta and Wise Intention

Introduction

Warm welcome, everyone. Yesterday, we started a new set of explorations and invitations with respect to mettā^[1]. We started with the Eightfold Path^[2] to explore the relationship between mettā and each of the path factors. Yesterday, we started with wise perspective, sometimes translated as right view. I like "wise perspective" more.

The second path factor on the Noble Eightfold Path is wise intention. Intention is the precursor to the next few factors: wise action, wise speech, and wise livelihood. Intention is really the seed, the root. As it is taught fundamentally in Buddhism, the fruit of our actions—or karma^[3], if you want to think of it that way—really rests on our intention. Intention has a very central place in the teachings.

I have found in my own practice that checking in with my intention is a profound daily practice. For example, pausing when I am writing an email. What is my intention? Especially before hitting send, I ask myself, "What am I trying to accomplish in the world? What seeds am I planting?" Even if I am distracted in a narrative or having thoughts, I pause sometimes and ask, "What seeds am I planting? What is my intention in engaging in this?" This really stops me in my tracks and brings me back to my intention, not just in external activities and actions in the world, but also in actions of the mind and heart, which are actions too, even if they are not perceived externally.

This moment's exploration is an invitation to explore our relationship with our intention and mettā, the practice of cultivating loving-kindness and goodwill for ourselves and others. There are many things we can notice in this journey. One is that as we set the intention for goodwill for ourselves and others, the planting of that seed helps mettā flower, not just in our practice, but in our daily lives. As I mentioned, we can reflect in our daily lives, "What seed am I planting here? Is it a seed of mettā and goodwill, or is it a seed of ill will I am actually planting for myself or for others?" Relating that contemplation about intention to the seeds you are planting, and the fruits that will result, is key.

Vice versa, as we cultivate mettā, goodwill, friendliness, and love, we will see that it strengthens our intentionality. It strengthens our sense of alignment with our true values and intentions in the world. We can access them more easily and readily; they become more available without us living too far from them. By cultivating goodwill and friendliness, and acting out of it, we will be living closer to our true intentions and the way we really want to live our lives. Even though it may not show up that way in every moment, we can become more aligned with how we want to show up in this limited, precious, impermanent gift that is our human life.

Guided Meditation

With that, let's embark on our journey together. I would like to invite you to get into your meditation posture, whatever might be supportive to you in this moment. Sitting upright a little more, or relaxing the body more, or maybe lying down. For each and every one of us, what is supportive might be different in this moment.

Connect with your intention. Let's start by dropping in the inquiry: "What is my intention for this period of practice?" Drop this question into your body, not into your head. Let your body reverberate and see what answer comes up. You might be surprised. Embrace and allow whatever is arising, whatever reverberation, or even if nothing comes up. "I just want to sit and be guided." That is fine, too.

Sit with the wholesomeness, with the goodness. Appreciate your intention, treating the beauty of this intention as a gift in your heart. Honor it as if you had an altar in your mind, putting your beautiful intention on the altar of your heart and mind as an offering. Offer your intention in this moment to life itself, offering it to life as it is offered to you. Offering it to yourself and to life is intentional. Let yourself delight in its grace, beauty, and wholesomeness.

Now, let this intention reverberate again in your whole body. The goodness of it calming, soothing, and nourishing your heart. Calming and soothing your body. Let your body feel relaxed, open, landing more deeply onto itself. Let the inner weight, the internal center of gravity, drop down from your head into your abdomen, into your sit bones. Land inside yourself. If you need to land further, go further down into your feet and your legs.

Invite your breath to be received in your abdomen, and also to receive all parts of your body. Your body receives your breath; your breath receives your body. Take just a moment of refuge. Sitting, being breathed. Nothing to do, nowhere to go. Resting in the here and now.

If you notice thoughts arising—memories, plans—it is okay. Acknowledge and notice what is arising, and offer it up. As if you were putting it on the imaginary altar of your mind where you put your wholesome intentions as an offering, offer up the worries, the plans, the thoughts. There is nothing wrong with thinking per se. In this moment, offer them up and take refuge in the simplicity of just sitting and being breathed. The deliciousness of it.

Now, I would like to invite you, if you wish, to imagine yourself in your daily life. Imagine yourself sitting, walking, or interacting with people. Maybe in this image, you are interacting with them physically, on the phone, or in a video chat—whatever is realistic for you. In this vision, ask yourself, "How do I want to show up? What do I want to cultivate? What is my intention? How do I want to be in this interaction? What is my intention in relating with this being? Can there be an intention of goodwill and care?"

As you drop into the question of your intention, you might have seen a range of intentions. Some of them wholesome, some of them not so wholesome. It is okay; do not judge yourself. All of us humans are a mixed bag. To be completely honest with ourselves, sometimes we can see the wholesome intentions ("Oh, I want to care for this being, I want them to know that I care for them and love them") and also the unwholesome ("Oh, I want them to see me, to like me, to care for me"). There is nothing wrong with any of this; it is just being human. There is no need to judge oneself that our intentions aren't a hundred percent pure in just giving and loving. Whatever came up for you is all right.

As long as there can be an intention of turning our heart towards planting the seed of goodwill and kindness, see how it might feel in this imagined interaction. If you kept your intention for goodwill, care, kindness, friendliness, love, and not harming front and center, what would it feel like in your body and mind? Notice what arises in your heart, your body, and your mind in this moment. Can you feel a sense of mettā, a sense of goodwill and care for this being? Radiate it, imagining interacting with them. Just rest with this connection to the intention for mettā, and see what it feels like in an imagined interaction. Notice how it might show up differently energetically. Now, bow to this image, to this being that served you.

Next, I would like to invite you to bring up a memory from sometime today, yesterday, or the past few days, where you were judgmental with yourself. Chastising yourself: "Oh, you shouldn't have done that," "Oh, that was terrible," or "You should have done this." Flogging yourself in some way. Bring whatever version or nuance of that to mind. Ask yourself, "What was I planting in this moment with myself?" Belittling, making oneself feel small and little so that you would behave better? Making oneself or others small doesn't quite work. It doesn't have the intended consequences.

Acknowledge the mistake kindly, understanding the causes and conditions that led to it. See it, be mindful with care, and move on. See if it is possible to connect with an intention of care for yourself, this being whom you are the steward and guardian of. Connect with a sense of care and support, as if you were saying to yourself, "I care for you. I care for you, sweetie. I know maybe this was a mistake, but I care for you. It's okay. I understand and acknowledge the causes and conditions that gave rise to it. I see it clearly, and it's okay. I hold you with care and friendliness. It's all right. If you could have done better, you would have done better or differently. The causes and conditions were different, so this resulted." Offer understanding, care, and friendliness to yourself. See how this feels in your mind's eye, your heart, and your body, connecting with the intention of friendliness, forgiveness, and care for yourself.

Now, invite yourself to bow to this image, this sense of mettā and care for yourself.

Finally, invite another image from your daily life. Perhaps a moment when you were ruminating, upset, and angry with someone. Your mind was lost in its story-making and justifications: "They did this, they did that, they hurt me, they shouldn't have done that." Ask yourself, in the midst of this ill will, anger, and resentment, "What seeds am I planting in my heart and mind? What am I training myself in? What is my intention? Do I want to show up with ill will, anger, and resentment?"

Of course, this is not condoning the hurt or the damage. We know there are wise actions to be taken, but not out of ill will or hatred. We can take wise action out of care and love for yourself, who is hurting, and out of care for the other being, too. Out of care for both of you, and all the people entangled and impacted by this. Can there be a connection to the intention for care all around? Connecting with the intention of goodwill. Connecting with the seeds you want to plant, and taking wise action out of care. See if you can connect with this intention of mettā for yourself and for the other beings.

Thank you. May we all be well. May we enjoy safety, happiness, health, and ease.

Reflections

Thank you all for your practice. I would like to invite us to share reflections. It could be a word or a phrase; you can type it in chat or unmute yourself and share. The reflection is exploring the relationship between intention for goodwill in your interaction with another being, intention for care and friendliness to yourself (perhaps in a moment of judgment), and intention of mettā for yourself and others in the midst of entanglement. What came up for you?

I will start by sharing a piece of my own practice tonight. With a dear being, seeing the various intentions in the interaction, and just leaning into the goodwill for them shifted the energy. The interaction became more generous and concerned for them, without needing anything back, which was really interesting to see. Please feel free to share your wisdom.

Bill offered the importance of mental habits and the stories we tell ourselves. Thank you for offering that; it is very important to notice what our mental habits are planting and the stories we tell ourselves.

Another offering described intention as feeling like a stone dropped in a pond—the ripples start there. Indeed, hence the importance of it in Buddhist teaching. It is a poetic and beautiful image.

Paula shared that mettā for oneself is one of the biggest challenges of the practice. We are often much more generous to other people in our hearts. If we treated other people the way we treat ourselves sometimes, good heavens! We wouldn't treat other people the way we treat ourselves. Thank you for sharing the reality of that. It is true for many beings, so it is important to realize where the challenge is and give even more love and care to yourself.

Don shared a reflection from YouTube: when focusing on himself, an image of himself as a young child came up, which was very helpful to feel more gently towards himself. Beautiful, thank you, Don. This practice of mettā is a skillful means practice—whatever works! The image of oneself as a young child is an invitation I have used many times to conjure up a sense of care. We tend to have more care for younger versions of ourselves.

Holly offered that in the entanglement meditation, she noticed she felt vulnerable underneath, and saw their vulnerability, too, which made it easier to get to kindness from there. This is a profound insight. To see one's own vulnerability and the other person's too can really open the heart.

Yuka offered: "I noticed the way to automatically proceed unconsciously. It seems my chest has found a door that should open not only on that side but on the inside." Beautiful imagery. Thank you all for sharing your beautiful practices.

Sheila shared: "I try to set up an intention for peace for myself and others. It's hard for me to give care to myself. Care for loved ones is no problem. I tend to add self-castigation and self-torment, but I'm learning to send love to myself." Thank you, Sheila, for sharing that and letting yourself be held witness to how this is challenging. I applaud and hold your beautiful intention for this cultivation, and I invite the sangha^[4] to join in holding your intention as if you are putting it on the altar of the community. All of us are holding it with you. For all of you who have this challenge, I invite you to put your intention on the altar of the community, and we will hold this beautiful intention for more self-care and self-mettā with you.

Susan offered: "I'm on call for a dog walk, or I'd be on the Zoom call with you all. I brought you all into my heart and my heart swelled." Lovely, thank you, Susan.

Now, I would like to invite us into breakout rooms for small group community practice. Plant the seed of intention of care for yourself, primarily, and also for others. Whatever might be said, let it be held with mettā and a lack of judgment, without wanting to appear a particular way or impress. Just hold it with care. Maybe even use an image of a younger version of yourself if that's supportive. The prompt is always: what was this practice like for you? There is no right or wrong. It is not so much what you say, but how you show up for yourself and others.

[Breakout rooms commence and conclude]

Welcome back, everyone. We have a few minutes for sharing reflections and reports from the field, either in community or in the meditation. Please feel free to unmute yourself and share.

Ruth shared: "For me, setting intention is a dynamic process. People in my group shared that, especially as we interact with other people, I find I have to reset my intention. It's not a single, one-time thing for the day. I do have north star intentions and loving-kindness intentions, but when I interact with people, especially in charged situations, that intention goes into the background. The dynamic part is bringing that back into the present. In times where there are difficult interactions, sometimes that happens much later."

Thank you for sharing the nuances and realities of how intention shows up in our day-to-day interactions. It is not clean and rosy where you set your intention for the morning and you're just beaming mettā. Sometimes you realize, "Wait, what happened to that? That's how I wanted to show up!" It is so helpful bringing that to the forefront.

Jess offered: "Like practice, remembering to return to the intention, like we do to the object in our practice." Exactly. It is the remembering. In the same way that we have an intention with mindfulness, it doesn't quite matter what the object is—we might be mindful of our emotions or thoughts—but having that intention requires us to keep remembering. Bringing it back to our north stars.

Time flies when you're practicing mettā and reflecting on intention. It is already time. Thank you, sangha, it has been lovely to practice with you. It warms my heart. One thing that came up in our group practice tonight was reflecting on the reality of aligning with intentions daily, and also the moment we put our intentions for more kindness to ourselves on the altar, with all of us supporting it. That will stay with me for the rest of the evening.

Thank you all for your practice. May you all be safe, happy, healthy, and have ease. Take care, see you. Good night, and good morning!