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Happy Hour: Loving and Being Loved

Hello and welcome everyone. Welcome to Happy Hour. It's lovely to be with you wherever you're joining from, whatever time zone, or whatever location in the world.

For our practice together today, the theme I'd like to invite us to explore is one that actually has a lot of dimensions to it. As you experience it and practice with it tonight, only one or two dimensions might show up, or maybe more will arise. Whatever dimensions arise for you, allow yourself to open up to those possibilities.

The topic is the multiple dimensions of metta^[1]. But the way I want to invite you to explore it together in a relaxed way tonight is simply loving and being loved.

It could show up as actively sharing metta or receiving metta, but this is a little different. We've done giving and receiving before. Tonight, I want us to explore a slightly different nuance. Because with giving and receiving, even though receiving can seem easy and relaxed, there's still a minor level of effort—and there's even more effort in giving. Instead, I want us to explore the idea of just being loved. Not receiving love as an active process, but simply being loved and loving.

If you're starting to think, "What does she mean?"—don't think about it. These are not concepts to figure out; they are invitations I want to drop in for you to feel your way into. These are questions to live, not to try to think about and figure out.

When I say "loving and being loved," what might have come up for some of you is loving and being loved by another human being, or another living being in the world. That's great, that's one dimension of it. But let's not be limited to that or only focus on that. For some of you, it might just be a general sense of loving—just experiencing the radiation of metta or love. Or the sense of feeling loved, a sense of a dimensionality in this universe. The invitation is to allow our minds and hearts to open to whatever dimensions of loving and being loved might be present in our experience.

Sometimes we tap into these states in special moments. When there is the birth of a child, there could be a sense of, "Ah, the world stops," and there is complete love everywhere. Or maybe when someone dies, there can be a sense of tapping into this mystery, this profound sense of complete loving and being loved. These doorways, these entryways that might open up with birth and death and other amazing moments in our lives, may be more available than we give ourselves credit for.

So the invitation tonight, through various meditative invitations, is to let your heart open to these other dimensionalities. Do not force them, do not try to push through, but simply open your heart with this practice of just loving. Offer your own beauty, your own love, your own sacredness to the world. Just love it as it is—as beautiful, as painful, as messed up as it is. Love the suchness^[2] of the world, and let yourself feel loved or be loved in ways that are not always perceptible or necessarily relational.

If some of what I said didn't quite make sense, don't worry about it. Don't think about it. One purpose of guided meditations is to invite us into spaces where we can't overthink, but where we might access something new. Or not! Let's explore together; let's be curious.

Guided Meditation

With that, I'd like to invite us all to get into our meditation posture. You might need to shift and move, sit up straighter, or adjust your body. I need to shift my body a little bit to relieve some tightness. Or you may need to move and lie down, if that's appropriate for you right now.

Arriving. Landing in this body, in this human form. Settling.

Settling the weight. The weight of our thoughts, letting them settle. The weight of our emotions, our worries, our anxieties. Our grief, our sadness, our joy. Let the weight of all of them settle in this moment as we start.

Settling in the body. Letting the weight settle and be lowered. The center of gravity lowered to the abdomen, to the sit bones contacting the cushion or the chair.

And letting the breath move as it wishes through the abdomen, through the body. It's not so much that you are breathing; don't make it effortful. Allow the breath to breathe itself.

In-breath and out-breath. Calming, soothing your mind, soothing your heart, as if washing away any residue, any pain, any challenges, any sorrow in this moment. The breath cleansing, calming, soothing, nourishing like a lullaby. Let us settle for a few minutes with just the breath in the body, being breathed.

Calming, soothing, settling the breath in the body.

And now I would like to invite you, if you wish, to bring to mind some being whom you care about, whom you love. For this practice, it's okay if this being is presently in your life, or maybe if they are deceased. As long as feeling their presence doesn't bring up too much grief, it's okay to bring someone who is deceased. It could also be a child or a pet. Bring to mind someone whom you can have a sense of sitting with in this space, in the space of your heart.

Imagine as if your heart center is opening. There is a sense of them being loved and loving, and you being loved and loving. In your mind's eye, see them sitting in this field of loving and being loved. Timeless. Beaming. Not effortful, just loving.

Maybe first, just feel the loving with each breath, as if the breath were coming in and out of your heart center. Feeling the love for this being. If you're still going through the rolodex feeling guilty, thinking, "Should I choose this person or that?"—just choose someone. It doesn't matter. You can always explore and practice with other beings later. Choose whichever relationship is the least complicated and most straightforward.

Wordless metta. Wordless love. If phrases naturally come to you, it's fine to use them, but let's just breathe love for this being with each breath.

And maybe feeling them receiving the love, noticing or acknowledging that they are being loved, that they feel being loved. You are loving, and they are being loved. Acknowledge your perspective, and for a moment, their perspective. Loving and being loved.

If it so happens that multiple beings show up together, and you are loving them and they are feeling loved, that's okay too. You don't need to kick the other being out. Just loving with each breath, and acknowledging them being loved. Feeling the breath in your body, letting your body be relaxed.

And now, the invitation is to feel being loved by this being. From their vantage point, acknowledge their loving. From your vantage point, just being loved. With each in-breath and out-breath, being loved.

And now an invitation to feel the field. Sitting in the field of love, both loving and being loved. Both you and this other being. Not so much thinking about it, but breathing, feeling.

And now another invitation, if you wish. With this loving and being loved, allow the heart to see, to feel into other dimensionalities of this. It's not just directional between you and this other being. What if this gift of loving and being loved is like an offering? You're loving and being loved in this field. What if it were an offering—one of the most beautiful offerings that your humanity is offering the world in your life? As if it is an act of service somehow. Serving beauty, the sacred, by loving and being loved.

Do not think so much about the meaning, but open up to the possibility that loving and being loved may have much more dimensionality in unfathomable ways. Serving goodness in more ways than just the relational one.

So as you breathe, just open up to this field of loving and being loved between you and this other being. Let this field be loved. Acknowledge that this field of loving and being loved is being loved by the universe, and it is loving the universe. This field is loving beauty and grace, like an offering. Just drop this in and breathe. Not thinking about it, just breathing. Loving and being loved.

And for the last moments of this practice: Loving and being loved by the being who is you. For having shown up as perfectly or as imperfectly as it happened. Simply loving the imperfection just as it is. The suchness, the way it is. Loved just as it is.

Spreading, allowing the world, this imperfectly perfect world with all its joys and all its sorrows, all its mysteries, to be loved just as it is for a moment.

Reflections and Q&A

Thank you all for your practice. I will change the settings now. If you would like to share any reflections, you are welcome to type them in chat or raise your hand to share any thoughts, reflections, or questions.

Mari Christine says, "I love your nuanced and subtle exploration of metta." Thank you, Mari Christine.

Neil says, "I feel all over," and Denise says, "Yes exactly."

Paris shares appreciation to me and all of us on YouTube.

Bill shares about disruptive politics and thoughts. Violet also says, "Same as Bill: one breath of metta, one breath of politics, back and forth for 30 minutes. It is like this." Let that be loved too! In its complete imperfection, let it be loved.

Ben says, "Every time you said 'dimensionality', it jolted me into thinking about math, realizing I have quite a hard time thinking about math and feeling love at the same time." [Laughter] It's funny, Ben. There are so many different ways dimensionality is used. Can you love having a hard time thinking about math and love at the same time? Loving that imperfection, letting this be all-inclusive.

Yuka says, "Now here is full of love. I take a breath and receive unconditional love from nature." Sweet, lovely.

Richard is sharing songs apropos of the meditation: Love Is in the Air. [Laughter]

Lisa shares on YouTube, "I love this, as I needed to be reminded how much I love my husband even when I'm mad at him." I love that reflection, Lisa. Yes, feeling the love even if there's anger.

I want to come back to a question Forrest raised about wanting to say more about the field of metta. This sense of a field, of giving and receiving or loving and being loved—it's a sense of sitting in it as if it's the fabric of the world, the fabric of the universe. The unseen fabric. It's something I invite you to feel into as a way of seeing.

We have so many choices as to how we choose to see and perceive. One of the quotes by Albert Einstein that I love and usually bring in about this is that we have a choice: we can see the universe as an unfriendly place, in which case our actions become unfriendly and war-oriented. We can see the universe as neutral, as if God is playing dice with the universe—that's when he said his famous quote in this longer phrase. Or we can see the universe as a friendly, loving place, in which case our intentionality and the way we go about our lives will shift and change. It will be more love-filled towards the world, and more constructive towards nature and towards human beings, as he described it.

Psychologically, there are many things to be said about the perspective we take on this field of metta. So my invitation is to first bring it up relationally to tap into that. Specifically in Buddhism, this idea of beaming metta is just the sense of unconditional love. It is shining it out, sitting in it, and receiving it when we give ourselves metta. There are so many ways to think about this and relate to this field, and I hope some of these words supported you.

So, let's go into practice meetings, as I want to leave some time at the end for more reflections. The invitation for the small groups is to carry the sense of sitting in this field of love and being loved universally—loving the imperfection and the beauty. You may share a few words of what the practice was like for you, or maybe not. Maybe you'll just sit in silence together, loving and feeling loved in this shared field. Whatever happens is fine. With that invitation, I'm opening the rooms.

[Practice groups commence]

Welcome back, everyone. We just have a couple of minutes left for any final reflections you would like to share.

Violet says, "A lovely minute of silent sitting with my group at the end." That's lovely, it's sweet. How nice.

Jerry, I see your hand. Please go ahead and unmute.

Jerry: We were talking before, and then in the small group, it was my first experience of moving to a love outside of the relational. I actually wondered if I was in a dream. It was such a unique experience, so thank you.

Nikki Mirghafori: Thank you, I appreciate you sharing that. Yes, there are so many different ways to explore this.

Neil says, "Tonight's practice made me feel hopeful that more minutes of my life can be like this." Yay, that's a lovely note to end on for all of us, isn't it? Thank you, Neil, for sharing that. Beautiful and poetic. So let us all feel hopeful that we can all feel loving and being loved in more moments of our lives.

Thank you for your practice, for showing up for loving and being loved. Both are so important. May your practice, your gift of loving and being loved, serve your own awakening, those of others, and the whole world. Take good care. See you on Monday!