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Question & Answer Session

Introduction

Good day to everyone. Today I'd like to do something different than the usual Dharma talk. When we have the Sunday morning live here at IMC, before the pandemic, every once in a while I would spend the morning not giving a Dharma talk, but just being engaged in a questions and answer session with the people here. I find it invaluable to do so, for me to hear a little bit about what kind of questions people have and their concerns. It also allows us to feel a little bit of that exchange of hearts, of energy, of minds, and concerns with each other.

I've been talking a lot on these Sunday mornings. It's been a series of a lot of talks. We had a few community meetings afterwards, and we had a little bit of Q&A, but I would like to take this time that we usually use for the Dharma talk to see in the chat some of the questions you might have or concerns about practice, Buddhism, life, or whatever seems relevant for you here.

I usually can't quite follow all the questions in the order they were posted on the chat, so think of it as me pulling questions out of a hat. But I'd love to hear from some of you, and we'll see what comes up and what I might have to say. I hope this is meaningful for all of us to do this today.

So we'll wait a little bit here and see what comes up. I enjoy so much seeing the names, the thank yous, and the greetings here in the chat. Really, this makes a huge difference for me in giving these talks, to feel connected to the chat, to people. I thank all of you who do this. It takes a while; there's a delay between me speaking and you getting the image and coming back. You probably don't realize that. You think you're seeing it live, but I think you're about a minute behind on YouTube from what actually goes on here live at IMC.

Q&A

The Buddha and "Essence"

Q: Well settled in our meditation, you mentioned that the Buddha is not concerned with essence. Can you expand on this?

It depends what we mean by essence, but what the Buddha is not concerned about is any kind of essence which is a fixed, solid, or unchanging essence, like a soul or a core aspect of consciousness. There is nothing enduring. If there is an essence in Buddhism, it's the essential process nature of life. Everything is a process. Everything is unfolding. We can't point to something as being the thing which is the essence, but there are essential processes, and those processes are unfolding in all kinds of ways. Some of them are much more intimate and deeply connected, and feel most intimate, liberating, freeing, and loving within us. Some are quite removed from what really feels essential or core. So it depends how we define it, but I hope that's a good enough answer.

Dealing with Lies in the News

Q: I don't know how to address the lies I hear or read in the news.

What occurs to me in answering that question is that one possible response is to dedicate yourself to being the opposite of that concern. The more you're concerned about the lies that are spreading around, work more on being truthful. Don't assume that we're all truthful just because we want to be or we think we are. There are probably layers and layers of truthfulness, honesty, self-deception, and all kinds of things that go on.

We can get more skilled in being truth-tellers in useful ways—in ways that are useful for ourselves and useful for others. Begin there. As a part of that, also learn about the reactivity that we might have around what we read in the news. Do we succumb to anger, to despair, to discouragement? Is that really useful for anyone, for us to do that? Then what would it be like to clearly discern and see some of the things that are amiss or wrong in the world, to really feel they are wrong, and not lose our peace because of it? Also, not to become aloof from it or indifferent to it, but to be motivated in some way—motivated to make a difference.

Synthesizing Different Schools of Buddhism

Q: Can you talk about how you synthesize the different schools of Buddhism in which you studied and practiced?

I have really been involved in two major traditions of Buddhism. The Japanese Zen tradition belongs to the Mahayana school of Buddhism. And then the Theravadin^[1] school of Buddhism, the Buddhism of Thailand and Burma in particular.

Meditation practice was really at the heart of both traditions. What I learned in Zen really helped me to be able to do Vipassanā^[2] practice in a deeper way. It prepared me. It was a very good preparation for me.

All forms of Buddhism have both strengths and weaknesses. Sometimes it's useful to be involved with two different traditions so we see those strengths and weaknesses better and somehow can compensate for them or find the right balance. Sometimes it doesn't work so well to do two traditions at the same time, unless there's a lot of similarity. What I did was I did ten years of intensive Zen practice, and then I got involved in Vipassanā practice. Then I did a lot of intensive Vipassanā. At some point, I kind of rode both of them equally in certain ways. The complementarity of them was very helpful for me.

In terms of how I synthesize them, I think that I synthesize them in my body and somehow in my way of being. I hope the best in both got incorporated and worked together in some kind of harmony. In my intellect, the way I think about things and understand, I have a little bit from both traditions. How there was a selective process—that's maybe a big topic.

The Five Faculties and Seven Factors of Awakening

Q: What does it mean that mindfulness, energy, and concentration are both in the Five Faculties and Seven Factors of Awakening, but some others are in only one list or the other?

Because mindfulness, energy, and concentration are in both lists, it means that these are really core parts of meditation practice. Mindfulness and concentration are the heart of it, and we have to do it. The usual word for energy in the Seven Factors of Awakening and the Five Faculties is viriya^[3], which isn't just quite "energy," but rather it's more closely related to application: the effort we make and the strength by which we make some effort.

I like to joke sometimes that meditation doesn't work at all... and then I pause, as if that's the end of it. Then I add the last phrase: meditation doesn't work at all unless you do it. So mindfulness and concentration require some engagement, some doing, some application, and that's the energy or the effort factor.

Why are others only in one list or the other? I think because each of these is focusing on different aspects or subsets of our whole path of practice. The Seven Factors of Awakening are most related to meditation practice itself. It assumes there's been faith and it's a means to wisdom, so it sits between those two. The Five Faculties encompass mindfulness, energy, and concentration, but add faith and wisdom. So it's a little wider span of practice; it's more encompassing of more elements of what the full, embodied practice would involve: some kind of faith or confidence in something, and some wisdom or insight that gets developed. It depends on what's being focused on.

Authenticity vs. Not-Self

Q: How can I reconcile the ideas of being authentic to oneself and making decisions about what to do with the ideas of not-self?

It's a very good question, given what Buddhist teaching is about. Generally, I'd encourage you to not take this not-self^[4] teaching too seriously, and take it seriously. It's all in context. But don't take it so seriously that you try to believe it—like you think it's something you have to believe or somehow act accordingly without really understanding what it's about.

But it is serious as something that we come to understand or see. We have insight in meditation, or as practice really gets deep. It happens at other times in life as well sometimes, where things are deeply seen in liberating ways, very, very impersonal in the best sense of that term. But it's not a thing you have to believe.

Being authentic is a beautiful thing. I think of that as being honest and being truthful, and please, by all means, do that. In a simple way, it means you're being truthful to yourself. We are talking about this psychophysical being here. The not-self teaching is really about not getting caught up in some singular, essential idea that there is "the self"—a self that you're accountable to. We are accountable to the whole psychophysical process that's here. Having that psychophysical process be in harmony, be honest, not be caught in delusion, not be caught up in greed, hate, and delusion, and unskillfulness. So we are accountable to what's here for sure. Being authentic is a beautiful expression if it frees us from all these unskillful ways of being.

Anxiety During Meditation

Q: Time and time again I come up against anxiety that arises when I meditate. So much so that even Buddhist talks start giving me anxiety because it is associated with meditation. Have any advice?

This happens to people. Sitting down in meditation sometimes is kind of like taking the lid off Pandora's box. There's so much going on internally that we're distracted from, or we're so busy in life doing things that we don't pay attention to, don't feel, don't recognize. Sometimes when meditation is a stopping of all the doings, and also a stopping of a lot of thinking and ways we distract ourselves from ourselves, we discover this reservoir inside of unresolved issues, anxiety, fear. It's pretty common. A lot of people, as they meditate, will sooner or later go through a layer of fear or anxiety or unresolved issues that will come up.

Some people feel confused because they think meditation is just a one-way ride to more and more calm and peacefulness. But in fact, any spiritual tradition, any real meditation practice that is supposed to go deep, will sooner or later flush out or connect you to the places where things are unresolved, difficult, or challenging. Rather than being discouraged by that, generally, it's good to be encouraged by it.

If anxiety is a frequent visitor, the general pure Vipassanā, mindfulness advice is to become a student of that anxiety. To take time to sit in the middle of it and get to know it. Some people have anxiety and they recoil from it, or they're afraid of their anxiety, or they feel like they're not supposed to be anxious. Our anxiety is kind of waiting for us to really get to know it, feel it, and make space for it to resolve itself, to unfold and show what's going on in a deeper way.

One of the little teachings I like to give about fear and anxiety is to bring our mindfulness to the anxiety, and while we're paying attention to it, being with it, to help the anxiety feel safe. Mostly it's safe from us, that we're not trying to fix it, chase it away, or be angry with it, or afraid of it. That makes the anxiety feel kind of lousy, that it's lost the connection with us. Rather, the anxiety feels like it's okay to be there. Then it can begin to unfold, move, and resolve itself.

Sometimes some people find they're just giving themselves over for a while to feel anxious, and really sit in the middle of it with a quiet mind—not a mind that keeps spinning stories. Then something begins shifting that's very significant. Sometimes with chronic, ongoing anxiety, it's useful to spend time with a therapist. There might be some issue that's hard to touch or get to unless with the help of a professional who can ask good questions or can offer a wonderful sense of presence and care. Compassion that allows something inside to open, reveal itself, and be seen and heard by someone else makes a huge difference. A good therapist can also recommend different things that can be done.

With anxiety like this, it's best not to be in a hurry. It's fine to sit at the edges of anxiety for a while and just create a little safety there, and just feel it there, and with time, go deeper and deeper. I've given talks on fear, and you'll probably find lots of Dharma teachers have given talks on fear. Sometimes it's useful to make it a major focus of study for a while. Look at fear, learn about it, hear talks about it, become a connoisseur, and learn all the different practices we can have about how to practice with fear and anxiety, and become an expert on fearlessness. We carry a lot within us, and you might be surprised that somewhere in the corner deep inside your heart, you might have some intuition about that which is not afraid. Can you trust that? Can you open to it a little bit, or have that as a reference point?

Psychotherapy and Meditation

Q: What do you think about psychotherapy and meditation?

I just recommended it as an adjunct for some people. The word "psychotherapy," just like the word "meditation"—both those words are so big. It's kind of like someone saying, "Oh, I do sports." That's nice to know, but what sports do they do? There's such a wide range.

There's such a wide range of schools and approaches to psychotherapy, and a wide range of meditation practices. There's kind of like a Venn diagram; they overlap in all kinds of ways. In some ways they overlap, in some ways they don't. In some ways they're mutually supportive, in some ways actually they're maybe going in opposite directions. But I certainly recommend psychotherapy sometimes.

In my capacity as a mindfulness teacher, I really like forms of psychotherapy that have a somatic basis. Not so much talk-centric, but rather body-centric. Helping the person go through their body, their sensations, and really supports an embodiment.

I have a lot of respect for psychotherapy, but what's happened in some corners of our society—especially here in California, but I think much of modern society in the United States—is that the culture has been heavily influenced by a hundred years of psychology, psychotherapy, and psychoanalysis. It's entered into our culture in such a deep way that now we're much more concerned about it. Parents are much more concerned with the psychological health and well-being of their children in a way that wasn't the case fifty, sixty, seventy years ago.

Sometimes the excessive interest in all the details of our psychology is counterproductive. It itself creates an excessive self-focus. Occasionally, this self-focus of psychotherapy, I think, has led people to a certain kind of narcissism at times. It's not the fault of psychotherapy, but it's maybe a little bit the fault of how some of the values of psychotherapy have entered into our culture more widely. There's become almost an invisible kind of narcissism of self-preoccupation that goes on. It's hidden because it's in the language of psychotherapy, sometimes the language of meditation. We're talking about ourselves and what goes on, but it is a little bit overly done, the self-focus.

Part of the function of mindfulness meditation is to help flush out the ways in which we've become too self-preoccupied, maybe a certain narcissism or self-consciousness which is actually a hindrance and a kind of stress, and help that to dissolve. If that dissolves and there's less narcissism, I think psychotherapy actually works a lot better and a lot faster.

Avoiding Unwholesome Friends

Q: Is it wise to avoid unwholesome friends? If I avoid them, how can I still have metta^[5] for them?

Maybe it's easier to have metta if you avoid them. Rather than avoiding unwholesome friends like you're avoiding them, pay attention more to yourself here and their influence on you. If somehow they influence you so that you become unwholesome, or you get excessively stressed or distressed, then take care of yourself and hold yourself away so that you don't succumb or get caught in that.

But if you can be with them in such a way that they don't influence how you are, and you can stay balanced and not get absorbed in some of these unskillful ways, maybe it's not so bad to spend time with them if they're still your friends. The focus is not really so much thinking about them being unskillful, kind of a little bit critical of them. It's more you focus on how it is for you and you're trying to take care of yourself in the best way.

You can ask yourself, "Well, when, how, and where am I with these friends so that they influence me in a way that I don't want to have happen?" Maybe you just go have lunch with them, or go for walks with them. Maybe you only talk with them at certain particular points when they're most likely to be in a good place. Maybe you don't spend too much time with them. You can have more choice about how you spend time with them so that it works for you better. If they're your friends, there's probably something you appreciated about them. So maybe you can spend time with them in a situation where it's easier for you to appreciate that, rather than just have that be the guiding principle.

Posture in a Chair

Q: When sitting in a chair to meditate, should I cross legs at ankles?

The usual instruction is not to do that in the chair, but rather to have both feet solidly on the floor or on a block. I think there's something valuable about feeling the feet grounded when we're sitting. It has the kind of groundiness that we have cross-legged when much of the lower legs are grounded on the mat. If you cross your legs, it's a little harder to have a firm, solid foundation that supports us. I don't know how important it is, but that's the usual advice. Don't cross.

Meditation and PTSD

Q: Is meditation effective in healing people with PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)?

Yes and no. There are a lot of people who have used meditation to go through and heal from PTSD. When I started meditating, we didn't have that idea of PTSD, and people would sit with all kinds of symptoms of it, and they would sit through it and come out the other end.

But it can be very hard depending on how strong the PTSD is. Sometimes meditation is even contraindicated and maybe not even useful if the PTSD is really strong. The PTSD can get exacerbated or reinforced because as we feel it, it feels so terrifying or so painful that it just adds to the PTSD. So whether it's useful or not useful is really an individual thing.

If we know we have it, it's a good thing to come and talk to a meditation teacher about it, so you have some support. The teacher can offer some particular guidance. It's getting pretty common in the last ten or twelve years for people being trained as Insight Meditation teachers to also get trained in some form of trauma therapy. It's a fairly common phenomenon that comes our way, so having some training in that, recognizing it, and knowing how to offer trauma-specific support is quite helpful.

Sometimes it's really important to go find a therapist or a modality for working with trauma to really get help and support—someone who really specializes in that and has the care, the love, and the expertise to stay focused and offer a lot of care. There's no shame in having PTSD. I think of it as just a natural physiological response to great trauma, great fear, suffering, and pain. It's physiological. Don't take it too personally in the sense that you think you're a bad person or something's bad with you. In some ways, you can see it as a healthy part of the human response, that something really deep has moved physiologically with us with these huge challenges that unfortunately have happened to people.

The art of it, or the task of it, is to find a way to complete or finish what has impacted us in this deep way. To bring it to completion. Sometimes people don't find a way to have this trauma response pass through us or complete, and we get kind of stuck for a long time. Finding meditation, psychotherapy, or something to really help move it through and complete it is really good.

I'll repeat: if you know you have it and you come to meditate, especially if you come on meditation retreats, it's good to check in with the teacher about it so you can get direct support.

Dependence on Guided Meditations

Q: I'm appreciating the many offerings from IMC; however, I find myself more reluctant to sit on my own. Do you see any danger of becoming dependent on your and others' guidance in meditation?

Yes, I think it's a great question. Especially now in the pandemic, I do all these guided meditations in a way that I never used to do. I just really valued sitting in silence without having any guidance. I think during the pandemic it really helps. Guided meditation maybe helps create a living human connection and community.

Sooner or later, I hope that people will also start meditating without any guided meditations and really learn to discover and do it on their own. As people mature in meditation, you want to be able to find a way to meditate where you're really on your own. Whatever comes up when you're meditating alone is really important. To have a guided meditation is sometimes a little bit easier, and sometimes it bypasses some of the important things we have to work through in meditation, and bypasses some of the strength we want to develop too.

I agree it's a good thing to not only do meditation under guidance or connection with others the way we've been doing it now. We have to look at our lives and see what is most supportive, what's available, what's most inspiring. Some of you may be doing the 7:00 a.m. sittings, which are thirty minutes long. In February, when I do a retreat, I think my plan is to start the 7:00 a.m. sitting at 6:45, so we have forty-five minutes of sitting. It'll still be guided to some degree, but there'll be more time for silence. Those who just want to keep showing up at 7:00 can still do so. But we'll start those two weeks to maybe have a chance to sit longer and begin stretching the meditation muscle for those of you who are getting used to just sitting for thirty minutes.

At some point, I'll start offering maybe some day-longs that have more silent meditation. I'd also encourage those of you who've been following along in the pandemic for many months to think about going on a meditation retreat. The online meditation retreats are a wonderful offering, and people are finding them very meaningful and helpful. It's a chance to meditate in community, but with many meditations throughout the day, and many of those will be silent, and you'll be on your own in a sense.

Conclusion

Thank you, my friends. I hope that this was useful. It was really nice for me to hear what you wrote, your questions. I'm going to copy all these because there are plenty of them that I didn't respond to, and look at them later. Next week, Nikki Mirghafori^[6] will give the Sunday morning talk. She's a wonderful teacher here at IMC, and some of you have probably heard her before. I'll be back in two weeks. Thank you.