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Guided Meditation: Feeling Pleasure

Hello everyone, and thank you for being here.

There's a kind of pleasure in sitting down here weekday mornings and being together with all of you to meditate, for me to be able to do some sharing of what I know or practice. And maybe for some of you, there's also a pleasure; some of you clearly find some pleasure in all this, in the warm greetings and the chats you're sharing.

There might be lots of things that are uncomfortable in your life, things which are quite difficult and challenging that will lead the mind to ruminate and have difficult thoughts, predictions, and ideas about it all. At any given time, there is both what is pleasant and what is unpleasant.

One of the revolutionary ideas that the Buddha had for his time—and maybe for some of us it's a revolutionary idea—is to allow ourselves to feel more pleasure. That's especially useful when we discover that a lot of the uncomfortable feelings we have, the unpleasantness we experience, has its genesis or support in the chronic ways in which we're thinking, or a chronic negativity bias where, through fear or whatever reason, we tend to orient ourselves around what is unpleasant.

Of course, Buddhism is about an honest assessment of what's difficult and challenging, our suffering. We're not denying that. But if we really want to be able to manage the sufferings and challenges of our life in a healthy, dharmic way, the Buddha said it's helpful—or to paraphrase him, it's helpful to feel pleasure. You're allowed to feel pleasure. There's a role for pleasure in this practice.

I just went to heat up my water, and I noticed that as I was getting ready, handling the cup and filling it with water to put in the microwave, I was concerned with the talk I was going to give and the activities of getting everything ready on time. It was fine, but looking carefully, I noticed there was some unpleasantness. As soon as I recognized that, I became attuned to the pleasure that was there in filling up the cup, carrying it, stretching my arm, and putting it into the microwave—a small, maybe insignificant pleasure on some scale of things. Once I felt that pleasure, I could move my arm and be with the whole phenomenon of heating up the water in an even more graceful, more pleasant way.

Was that a denial of the unpleasantness that I was feeling? I don't think so. I think my mind was just focused on one part of reality, and there was a different part of reality that was more nourishing and more supportive. Rather than thinking about what I was going to teach all of you, it was probably better to show up in a good state—settled, happier, more contented.

So as we sit today, orient yourselves towards what is pleasant here and now. Not what's pleasant in your life more generally, but here in your body. Not having pleasant thoughts or wonderful fantasies, but if you are going to think about your meditation, can you think in a pleasant way? Can you focus your attention in a pleasant way? Can you be aware in a way that's not tense or unpleasant? Can the breathing be pleasant?

So to begin the meditation, just sit up straight. Gently close the eyes.

Be sure to acknowledge, and not deny, that there are things which are uncomfortable. Take a few moments to acknowledge, here and now in your body, your heart, your mind: yes, there is something which is unpleasant, uncomfortable. Some of that might be unnecessary, some of it is a healthy part of life. But for practice, either way, we don't have to push it away, deny it, or try to fix it.

Having acknowledged it now, can you acknowledge what is pleasant for you here and now? Starting with your body, maybe in your hands, wherever the pleasantness might be. Maybe there's pleasure in relaxing more, softening tight muscles.

Then becoming aware of your breathing. Can you be aware of your breathing in a pleasant way? Or at least not aware of it unpleasantly with strain, pushing, contraction, or beliefs like, "I can't, this is difficult." Is there something in the most simple way your body breathes that you can find some pleasure in?

Feeling the body's experience of breathing. Is there any point in the cycle of breathing in and breathing out that has the most pleasure, the most nice feeling, however fleeting it is? Be sure to feel that part of the cycle well. Whenever you get to it, feel the pleasure or the niceness. You don't have to look for dramatic pleasure. Maybe it's a very light pleasantness, an ease.

As you're experiencing your breathing, maybe in an easeful, relaxed way, are there small ways you can adjust your breathing so it becomes more pleasant? Maybe there's a relaxing in the belly or the chest. Maybe a teeny bit more breathing in. A teeny bit longer letting go as you exhale. Maybe a teeny pause before you inhale.

If you can feel some pleasure, let that support the mind to be present here and now. In some ways, the mind is attracted to what is pleasant. Allow it to feel the pleasantness of the moment as a way of supporting you to be here and now. To help you settle down and relax, to help the mind trust being present here and now.

To know present-moment pleasure, we have to be aware. Allow awareness to be receptive, to receive the pleasure that it knows—the simplest pleasure of the moment here and now in breathing and sitting here. Maybe the pleasure that comes with meditation.

If there are unpleasant sensations or experiences, is there a way of holding them or relating to them from a place of pleasantness? Maybe taking them both in as you breathe, so that there's not a fixation on what is uncomfortable.

As we come to the end of the sitting, are there people for whom, if you think about them, you feel pleasure? It's enjoyable and evokes good feelings to think about certain people. Let yourself feel the pleasure of recalling people in your life you enjoy, love, and care for nicely. The love, friendship, and goodwill you feel might be the source of that pleasantness, that delight. Relax into that pleasure of knowing them, thinking of them, feeling the pleasantness if it's there.

Then imagine that from that pleasant pleasure, you can gaze out upon all people. The people you love and care for, the people you are neutral to, even the people you're troubled by. You can look upon them with a kind, pleasant gaze and wish them well. Is there a way that, coming out of meditation, you have access to a different kind of well-wishing than you usually have? One that's more spacious, open, and less reactive.

May all beings be happy. May all beings be safe. May all beings be peaceful. And may all beings be free.

Thank you.

Dharmette: Challenge Check-In (2 of 5) Prioritizing Pleasure

Good morning. I'm here to give the second talk on the mindfulness check-in and how to use the classic mindfulness teaching on the Four Foundations^[1] as a way of freeing ourselves from unhealthy, unuseful preoccupations with the challenges and difficulties we have in our life. It's not a denial that we have challenges, but it's all too easy for us to become fixated on them in an unuseful way. We can get preoccupied, ruminate, and repeat the same fear-based thoughts about what will happen, what it all means, and what's going to happen to us. It's possible to steam in anger, caught up in the endless story of blame and who did what.

Of course, there might be reasons to be afraid or angry. But to ruminate, persist, and spin in it is an unhealthy way of placing our life energy and attention. It narrows the scope of how we can be present for what is here. Even just spending a lot of time thinking about things limits our lives. Thinking has a role, but to be lost in thought is different.

When the Buddha taught the Four Foundations of Mindfulness, there was no obvious place in there to be mindful of thinking. We often teach mindfulness of thinking—and there is a place for it—but in that classic teaching, there's no obvious category for it. I think he knew very well that people think a lot; he gives instructions elsewhere on how to work with destructive thoughts. But in the classic teachings of mindfulness, he offers a different way of being present for our direct experience that's not mediated so much through our thinking. Rather than seeing things through the lens of our thoughts, we drop into four different areas to tease apart the totality of our experience: how things are experienced physically in the body, how things are either pleasant or unpleasant, the mind states, and the mental processes.

Today, the topic is the second foundation, what's called the feeling tone^[2] of experience. When we go through the checklist, we might say, "I'm having some difficulty." It didn't happen today, but it almost happened coming down to the IMC to teach a little bit later than usual. I could have been preoccupied with, "Oh no, I need to get here. I'll be late. What will happen? How am I going to be efficient when I get there to set everything up?" That would be the challenge of being late and my worry around it.

Once I notice that's happening, I give myself a checklist. "What's happening in the body? I'm agitated. What's happening to the feeling tones? It's unpleasant. What's happening in the mind state? It's gotten narrow and tight. What's happening in the mental processes? I'm caught up in a certain degree of worry and aversion to feeling the way I'm feeling."

If I look at that checklist, I might say, "The strongest place is that it actually feels uncomfortable. Let me look at the discomfort." Sometimes that's enough, because recognizing that I'm tense allows me to relax. I can soften around how I'm feeling, which opens the field and relaxes the whole thing without having to figure it all out in my ideas and get stuck there. That's a simple way mindfulness can work.

But for the Buddha, attention to the feeling tone was revolutionary. When he discovered some of the pleasures and joy of meditation, he asked himself, "Do I need to be afraid of this?" And he concluded, "No, it's okay to experience this pleasure." In a very distant way, this mimics my own experience with meditation. In my first ten years of practice, I was discouraged from feeling any pleasure. If you went to the meditation teacher and talked about feeling pleasantness, you were told, "Let go of that. Just stay present. Be with the emptiness of things. Just sit, let go." Even though I would have really good feelings of being present, they were never validated.

When I started studying Vipassana, I eventually discovered there's actually an important place for pleasure. It's part of what it means to be a human being. Don't be attached to it, don't strive or struggle to have it, don't expect it, but do allow yourself to feel it.

It can be revolutionary when the mind is preoccupied with what's uncomfortable. If the mind spins out in fear, anger, distress, grief, or sadness—which are all parts of human life we shouldn't deny—the preoccupation with them becomes the fuel for the challenge to grow bigger and persist longer. We have to monitor what we're fueling and feeding. It isn't that we're not supposed to feel some discomfort, but we don't need to feed it.

There's something powerful that happens if we start tuning into the pleasantness of the moment. It isn't meant to be a denial of what's unpleasant, but rather a way of moderating or finding our way with it. It provides a different reference point, conditioning our attention with what's pleasant rather than persisting with what's unpleasant.

Some people might protest this idea, which is reasonable to some degree. But if you pay careful attention to your mind's reactivity and what you're feeding, you'll find out that a persistent way of being caught in rumination fuels your distress and emotional challenges. That's not very useful. If you really spiral downward in a panic attack, it's good to go do something different that's enjoyable. Go find a kitten to play with. Many years ago, I used to take long showers when I was spinning out with fear, and the pleasure of the shower would somehow settle things. Go for a walk where you can enjoy the trees and skies.

Finding something pleasant to do when we're in danger of spinning out is a very good intervention to settle the nervous system and quiet things down. Then we'll be in a better place to come back and address the issue. Many people have found that taking a "pleasure break"—going off to do something enjoyable and returning later—leaves them in a much better place to reflect wisely and do what needs to be done.

We learn to do that in meditation through mindfulness. We learn not to prioritize the negativity bias we might have. For many people, starting to feel more pleasure here and now simply brings things into balance. When we're unbalanced in the direction of discomfort, feeling the pleasure of what's comfortable begins to recondition our emotional life. It shifts the energy away from spinning out and towards healing, pleasant states. It's a lot easier to be with our worldly, emotional, and mental challenges if we can hold them in a calm, open, pleasant place.

When you go through the mindfulness checklist and ask, "Is this experience pleasant or unpleasant?", two things are important. You might notice that the feeling tone is the most salient aspect, the significant thing you want to bring attention to. You might spend more time with the second foundation. Sometimes, just being present for the unpleasantness can change things. But sometimes you want to bring balance into the whole system by intentionally focusing more on what's pleasant. You don't manufacture it artificially or do something unwholesome. You look for healthy forms of pleasure that don't require doing anything different than what you're already doing, but rather availing yourself of the pleasure that's already here.

That's what we can do in meditation. Can that be a support for being with the difficulties? If pleasure arises in the course of meditation—even the pleasure of being a bit calmer than you were before—let that register. Receive it. Let it be. Don't be in this old-school dismissing mindset of "I can't be attached to that." You can avoid attachment, but you're allowed to feel it and take it in. Be nourished. The healthy, wholesome pleasures of meditation, mindfulness, and learning how to be with ourselves have a healing force.

Hopefully, I've conveyed that the Buddha's emphasis on feeling tones and pleasure is a game changer. For the next 24 hours, this can be the game you play and explore. Notice how you experience the pleasant and the unpleasant. What is your reactivity towards things that feel unpleasant? What is your comfort level with what is pleasant? Can you allow yourself to notice more of the pleasures that are already here? Can you switch the negativity bias to give a richer, fuller experience of what is pleasant?

May that be beneficial and support the Dharma practice we're on, supporting your ability to have a realistic and useful way of being with challenges. Thank you.