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Happy Hour: Kind Awareness as the Foundation of Goodness

Hello, welcome. Happy New Year. This transition that we call the new year—maybe I'll speak a little bit about that before we transition into our practice.

Yes, in some ways, every mind moment is a continuation, and yet there is a goodness and a value to transitions. Psychologists and studies tell us that when there is a transition—when it is actually the new year, or even a new month, or the beginning of a week like a Monday—there are psychological effects that we can take advantage of. There's a sense of a fresh start. Even though we all know that every moment really can be a fresh start, instead of self-flagellating and beating ourselves up for having been X, Y, and Z, or not having been X, Y, and Z, we can just begin again at this moment. A fresh start in this beginning, every moment. The New Year's Day, every moment, fresh as the spring.

There is a goodness and a beauty in this convention that the year changes. Let's appreciate the psychological goodness of that. Because yes, we're spiritual beings, we're divine beings, and we're also psychological beings. Us dear, lovely, fragile, strong human beings are not immune to these psychological effects. So let's take advantage of this fresh start of the new year.

With the idea of the fresh start, it's still the first week of January, and today is the first Friday. Of course, if you're in a time zone like Australia, it's already Saturday, but for those where it is still Friday, it's the first Friday of 2023. So it's still a fresh start. With that theme of a fresh start, both as a convention and as every moment, let's connect. Maybe today you had the intention to be kind to yourself, and it didn't quite happen. You wanted to be kind to others, and it didn't quite happen. But it's okay.

What does a fresh start require in each moment? It requires many things, but one thing it definitely requires is mindfulness. It requires awareness. A fresh start as a support for mettā^[1] requires mindfulness, awareness, and connecting with intention. But more than anything else, it requires mindfulness. In Pali^[2], the language of the Buddha, sati—mindfulness, awareness. We need to grok, "Oh yeah, this is what's happening, this is where I am, this is what my intention is, these are what my values are." There's a sense of connecting. It doesn't have to be heavy-handed; it's supportive. It's just arriving and being here. Being right here, not in the past, not in the future, but being right here, connecting.

In this first Friday or Saturday of the year, let's connect. Let's turn towards connecting with awareness. Connecting with sati, mindfulness as a basis and a support for kindness, loving-kindness, compassion, and equanimity. It is a support for all these beautiful qualities of the heart. First, we need to have a sense of connecting to this moment, to this body, connecting right here. Awakening does not happen in the past or in the future; it happens in this moment.

Let's connect together to this body, to this moment. The freshness of this moment, beginning again and again and again. How delicious and amazing to be able to start again and again. With that, let's meditate together.

Guided Meditation

I'd like to invite you to land in your seat. Sitting upright, if that's possible for your body. Or, if your body needs to lie down or stand up, see what this body needs in this moment—any adjustment that it might need.

If you are sitting, let there be a sense of integrity to your posture. If you're sitting on a chair, let the bottom of your feet be flat on the earth. Rest your hands on your lap. Have a sense of integrity to your body.

Keep the spine straight, but not tight. Maybe feel that there is an invisible thread connected to the top of your head, pulling you up, vertebrae by vertebrae. It's happening on its own. Let the flesh, the soft tissue of your body, relax and soften. You're being held up.

Letting your belly relax and soften. Receiving the breath in the abdomen however it comes: short, long, shallow, or deep.

Relaxing. Offering the weight of the lower half of your body to the earth with each out-breath. Letting go of the weight of the upper body into your sit bones, especially the weight of your head, neck, and shoulders. As if the weight was a river flowing onto the earth, through the earth. One with the earth.

The earth holds you and supports you. You can relax. Let go of any tightness.

Holding for the next half breath. Receiving this moment, however it shows up in this body. Whatever sensations of the breath, and other sensations. Connecting with this moment as it is experienced.

So delicious and wonderful to be connected through awareness, through knowing, to this moment's experience right here. Intimate intimacy with this experience of being human, being breathed. Sensations, even thoughts, are arising and passing. Knowing that you are sitting and breathing from the inside.

If thoughts arise and take you to the past and future, no problem. When you realize this has happened, let go of the balloons of thought. Release lovingly, smilingly, and begin again. A fresh start to reconnect. The freshness of this moment is like spring. This moment of being human, it's enough. It's more than enough; it's magical.

One moment of awareness, clearly knowing, connecting here. Just this is enough.

Just knowing, paying attention right here, intimate, is the foundation of goodness. The foundation of kindness to oneself, and to others. Staying with awareness in a relaxed body, mind, and heart. So nourishing just to be breathed and know. Sublime.

If there's agitation, sleepiness, or anything else, knowing that too. Befriending whatever is present. Knowing intertwined with benevolence. Kindly knowing whatever is arising. This moment is like this.

You can know boredom with interest, agitation with love. Let me get to know you, dear heart, dear mind, at this moment. Fresh, as if I'm meeting you for the first time. Beginner's mind. Let me know you, let me learn your ways with patience, with kindness. Let me know.

If the mind is busy, let me know you, dear agitated mind. Without getting tight. The opposite: let me relax and know you, soothe you. Stillness, let me know you. Wandering mind, let me know you. What is so juicy that's pulling you away, dear mind, dear heart? Let me know you, and connect again. A fresh start in this moment. All I know.

Relaxed knowing is the foundation of goodness. Relaxed, curious, kind, benevolent knowing. It's the foundation of goodness.

Nothing you experience internally is a problem. Don't make it into one. Get to know it. Get to know it with kindness, curiosity, interest, benevolence, love. Get to know this being who is you. Sensations, thoughts, patterns to know afresh and anew each moment lovingly. Beginning anew every moment infinitely.

Maybe this image is inspiring to you. It's an image of yourself beginning anew, and anew, and anew. Each moment fresh, timelessly. With a sense of freshness, as if spring is arriving each moment. Awareness, kindness, benevolence, curiosity, mindfulness infinitely. Eternally starting anew. The inner spine, always and forever.

There is no need to be bogged down with moments squandered, or whatever mind state may not have been helpful. Begin again. Always, forever. Yes, we can.

As we bring this sitting period to a close together, offering the goodness from all the moments we started anew, connected with awareness, with knowing, with kindness and benevolence as a foundation. Offering the goodness of even one moment of connection—infinitely more than zero. Offering this goodness to ourselves as a gift to all beings everywhere. May all beings be happy. May all beings be free, including ourselves.

Thanks everyone. Thanks for your practice.

Q&A and Reflections

We have time for reflections, questions, and comments. How was this period of practice for you? Did you discover something new that might have been interesting for you? A different opening, or maybe something is confusing? You can type your questions in the chat.

Graham says thank you on YouTube. You are welcome, Graham.

Jerry says, "Easy to start, but it got more difficult at the end with distractions." Okay, no problem. Nothing is a problem. Get to know the mind that is getting attracted to distractions. What is juicy about it?

Laura asks, "I was struggling with sleepiness. How do you recommend dealing with that? What is the advantage to continuing to meditate as opposed to just going to bed?"

That is a good foundational question, Laura. It really depends on what the source of the sleepiness is. If you have a lack of sleep and sleep deprivation, then yes, taking a nap is the wisest thing to do. However, a lot of times, sleepiness is not just being sleep deprived. Sometimes it's masking something else. It's masking agitation. Sometimes when you're agitated, feeling remorse, sadness, or a host of different emotions and mind states, that can actually be masked with what's called sloth and torpor^[3]. It is one of the Five Hindrances^[4] in Buddhist practice. In that case, just going to bed or taking a nap is not helpful. Learning how to skillfully work with it and recognize it is wiser.

There is a long list of recommendations from the Buddhist teachings. Taking a nap is the last one. First, you can open your eyes a little bit with a little bit of light coming in. Not staring, just letting your eyes open up. Or you can stand up and do standing meditation to bring in energy. You can have some green tea—not at night, I don't recommend this, but if it's during the day. You can go for a fast walk to bring up the energy. You can also just sit up a little straighter. Just a little shift in posture can bring up more energy. And then, the last thing on the list of recommendations from the Canon is, if nothing has worked, take a nap.

Another person asks, "Is that why you say not to drink caffeine before sitting in the morning?"

I don't remember saying that, but basically, this is a longer conversation. Caffeine tends to agitate the mind. I've had many practitioners who have gone on long retreats who were used to drinking lots of coffee. When they try to reduce their coffee, they realize that when they drink it, their mind is so agitated. It creates a very different state of mind. Sometimes a little bit of caffeine, like with green tea, can be skillful. But I've discovered, and other practitioners have discovered, that strong coffee can agitate the mind and body a little too much. See for yourself. Be a scientist of your own mind; don't take any of these things at face value.

On YouTube, we have a couple of comments. "Thank you, I needed this tonight. I had heard so many tragic stories today." Another person says, "Standing meditation helps me be more energized." Great, fantastic. I love standing meditation and walking meditation too.

One person says, "After my mother died a few weeks ago, I've been feeling despair and having many nihilistic^[5] thoughts. This practice today gave me moments of feeling that maybe I don't have to answer any questions about what the point of it all is, but maybe the question of meaning itself is almost absurd within the ceaseless flow of life as it simply is, moment to moment. I felt relief. Thank you."

I'm so sorry to hear about losing your mom. So difficult. And thank you so much for sharing this beautiful insight. There is a grace, there is a beauty, there is the ceaseless flow of life as it simply is. You've put it so beautifully in your words. Thank you for sharing that with me and the whole Sangha^[6]. What a relief. Life is so magical, mysterious, and amazing. This experience of knowing is so beautiful, and it's wonderful that you were able to touch into that by simply connecting the mind with the experience of just this. Just this is enough. We don't need to know all the answers. Thank you.

Small Group Practice and Conclusion

The time has come, dear community, for us to turn to practicing in small groups together. The invitation today is to just show up however you are. Show up with kindness and with a sense of presence. Really showing up with presence for one another.

This might actually be a more quiet time getting together in small groups. The invitation is: can you show up in this small social context and not feel like you have to say something? What if you just showed up with awareness, internally and externally? Maybe words come up and you say something. Maybe it's a stream of consciousness: "I'm aware that I'm feeling a little nervous with two people in this room right now." Or it can just be silently holding space.

Nothing needs to happen socially. Nothing needs to be said. If there is a drive of wanting to make something happen, or wanting to talk just to fill the space and silence, just sit back with that and be kind. Just know. Tell yourself, "Sweetheart, pull yourself back and just sit in silence with others." A few words might come, but it can be quite magical to just be in a state of awareness with others, flowing together. Try it out. Be kind, curious, and in your body, not in your head. Take care of yourself, and take care of each other.

[After returning from breakout rooms]

Welcome back, everyone. I wonder if maybe one person can tell us how it was? If it was different from usual, or if someone who doesn't usually speak would like to share.

One person says, "Thank you so much, Nikki. This was lovely." Beautiful, good to see you.

Any other reflections? Well, I don't see anyone jumping in, so I think there's a lot of presence and silence here. This is great. We'll just keep that, and we'll dedicate the merit.

May all beings everywhere be happy and free, including ourselves. Thank you all so much for your practice. Be well, be present.