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Being a Refuge for Others

Welcome, a really warm welcome to everybody, wherever you might be and whatever situation you might find yourself in as you're listening to this or watching it, as the case may be.

Creating Spaces of Refuge

I want to mention that a book just came out, just got published, called Be the Refuge. The subtitle is Raising the Voices of Asian American Buddhists. It's written by the amazingly talented Chenxing Han^[1]. I know Chenxing, and I know a lot of work went into writing this book and pulling it all together. On Sunday afternoon, February 28th, IMC is sponsoring an event to discuss the book, so everybody's invited to that. This book is in part a memoir from Chenxing, as well as a result of her research into the experience of Asian American Buddhists, and it's quite touching. So, I can recommend this book.

Of course, with the title of Be the Refuge, she discusses this in the book. Without giving away the details of the book, I'll say that a person in the book describes how they were to turn their practice toward being a refuge for others. It is such a beautiful idea, I think, this act of generosity, this act of recognizing the impact that we have on others, and this wish to be a refuge for others. In some ways, maybe that summarizes the Buddhist practice: to find a way in which we can be a support for everybody in some kind of way. In the book, this individual talks about creating a space where people feel calm and positive, in a way that they are taking care of each other rather than creating agitation.

Sometimes there's this bonding through mutual outrage. I think Kim Allen, I heard her say that, and I recognize that there certainly have been times in my life when my friends were like, "Yeah, and can you believe this also, and that? Oh my gosh, and not only that, this!" And then we just kind of rattle ourselves up more and more. But what is it to create a space where people feel calm and positive, not by being a Pollyanna, and not by denying what's happening, but to recognize that tremendous value is there by not creating conditions that make people more agitated, or feel more ill at ease, or more worried or anxious, or whatever it might be? But to be a refuge in a way that creates a space—either literally or metaphorically—where people can feel some well-being, some calm, and positivity.

In Chenxing's book, this individual also talks about how one way to be a refuge is to create communities that are refuges for others, where people can find comfort and well-being. Sometimes that's through affinity groups—people coming together that maybe look similar, or have similar beliefs, similar backgrounds, similar ethnicities, similar experiences, similar preferences, similar ages. So affinity groups are one way we can help create a refuge. To help be a refuge is to either create communities that perhaps don't exist, or if they do exist, to show up in a way that we can convert them into a place that is a refuge.

And of course, it's not only affinity groups. There are all kinds of kalyāṇa-mitta^[2] groups—good spiritual friends—and people that live in a similar geographical area that, before COVID, would meet in person to talk about the Dharma. I'm imagining many of them are meeting online now. For some of these programs we have at IMC, we try to facilitate a little bit the creation of home groups, which are kind of like these kalyāṇa-mitta groups. This idea of a small community where people can practice together and discuss and explore different topics. Even when we're on the Zoom meetings, I know for some teachings that we do here at IMC, we break people up into breakout groups—maybe two, three, four, five, or six people—and those, of course, are also kind of a little bit of a community. What would it be like if we had this idea that to be a refuge is to help create a community, wherever we might find ourselves, where people can feel safe, they can feel some comfort and some ease? For us to have this movement of the heart, to be inclusive, and to be generous with our attention and our time.

Sixteen Defilements of the Mind

Chenxing Han describes this in her book, Be the Refuge: Raising the Voices of Asian American Buddhists. There's all kinds of great stuff in that book. But we can also look to see what the suttas^[3] have to say. What does it mean to be a refuge for others? We often associate this word "refuge" with taking refuge—taking refuge in the Buddha, Dharma, and the Sangha—not so much this idea of being a refuge.

There's a sutta in the Pali^[4] canon, and it has a parallel that was also preserved in Chinese. As is often the case—or maybe even always the case—when there's a sutta that's in the Pali canon and there's a parallel preserved in Chinese, there are differences between them. I'll be focusing on the part that's the same between these two suttas.

In this sutta, the Buddha says to a brahmin^[5]: "It is here, brahmin, that you should bathe to make yourself a refuge for all beings. It is here, brahmin, that you should bathe to make yourself a refuge for all beings."

So maybe we can unpack this a little bit. What is the Buddha talking about, about bathing and making oneself a refuge? Maybe I'll start by saying this expression, "make yourself a refuge." If we look at the Pali—I can't read Chinese, so I'm not sure exactly what it says in the Chinese, but if I look at the Pali—the translation maybe more literally would be "make yourself a place of safety" or "make a sanctuary," or something like that. It's not the same word "refuge" (saraṇa^[6]) that we use when we take refuge in the Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. But a number of English translators have used this word "refuge," and I rather like it. This idea of making yourself a refuge for all beings.

This idea of bathing comes from the context of the sutta, as you might imagine. In the sutta, the Buddha is with some monastics, and he sees in the distance that there's a brahmin. A brahmin at this time and in this setting we could think of as a priest for the dominant religious tradition at that time in ancient India. Somebody who was not only a practitioner but somebody who was an upholder, maybe we could say, of the dominant religious tradition, which we might call Brahmanism.

The Buddha is with some monastics, and he sees this brahmin in the distance approaching him. Knowing that the brahmin will overhear what the Buddha is about to say, the Buddha begins his talk directed to his monastics, but also kind of directed towards this brahmin. He says that there are these sixteen different types of impurities or defilements in the mind.

We can think of these impurities or defilements as things that are extra, like we don't need them, they're not helpful. For me, that's one way I like to think about it. "Defilement" and "impurity" sometimes has this feeling of a puritanical way of tightness or something like that, due to some of the associations we might have with these words. I don't know if those were the associations with these words in ancient India, but I like this idea of things that are extra and that we don't need them.

He gives these sixteen. I'll go through this list—don't worry, I'm not going to unpack them all or anything like this, but just to give you a sense. What are these on this list? Covetousness and unrighteous greed, ill will, anger, resentment, offensiveness, contempt, envy, stinginess, deceit, fraud, obstinacy, aggression, conceit, arrogance, vanity, and negligence.

We might summarize perhaps this list of sixteen as greediness of self, selfishness—"I want more" or "I need more"—or maybe it's aversion, ill will, hostility, kind of like "get away from me" or "get this away from me." Or maybe also this self-assertion or conceit. You might also think of it like "don't you know who I am" kind of thinking. I would say with the exception maybe of that last one, negligence. Negligence is just maybe not applying ourselves, or not being careful or attentive, or something like this. So maybe the first fifteen we might summarize—and you might recognize this idea of "I want more, I need more," or "get this away from me," or "don't you know who I am"—these are manifestations of greed, hatred, and delusion, some of the core foundational defilements.

But the words that he's using, right, he's not talking about just the core, fundamental ones. With some of these words of aggression, stinginess, envy, arrogance, vanity—these are some of the ones that we might think, well, these are just minor manifestations of some of these deeper defilements, impurities. But I appreciate what Nyanaponika Thera^[7] wrote. He was an elder in this tradition. His book, The Heart of Buddhist Meditation, was one of the first and pretty foundational books written in English, which came out in the mid-60s about Vipassanā^[8] practice. He writes: "How much more pleasant and harmonious will be human relations, individual and communal, if there is less pettiness and peevishness and fewer vanities and jealousies and less self-assertiveness in words and deeds."

That was his way when he looked at this list of sixteen, thinking like, it would just be so much easier to get along with other people, whether it's just one other person or whether we're in a group, if there's less of these qualities. We also might consider that there is a connection between these qualities and the deeper roots of greed, hatred, and delusion. And so to work with where they show up, in what we might consider minor or surface level expressions in our daily lives, is really a way to work with the deeper ones, the foundational, root defilements.

In the sutta, he continues after talking about this list of sixteen defilements. He says, "If you know it's a defilement, abandon it." It seems so straightforward, right? Makes it sound easy. Of course, it's not easy, but this is why we have a meditation practice. And why we have a Buddhist practice, not just meditation but all of the elements of the Eightfold Path or the gradual training: to recognize, if you know it's a defilement, if you know that this is something that's extra, that's not helpful, that doesn't lead to greater freedom, but instead leads to less freedom and to some suffering, abandon it.

So what are some ways in which we can lessen the attachment, the clinging, the stickiness of some of these expressions of greed, hatred, and delusion? "If you know it's a defilement." Sometimes we don't know. Sometimes these are habits of mind. Sometimes we're so used to thinking, "Well, of course I'm filled with arrogance, because everybody else is an idiot. What do they know?" Or I don't know, maybe that's an exaggeration, but are there some ways that maybe we weren't quite considering that they were impediments to greater freedom and greater ease?

The Brahma-vihāras

The Buddha in the sutta continues, and he describes the Brahma-vihāra^[9] practice. Probably many of you, if not all of you, are familiar with this practice. It begins with imbuing the mind with loving-kindness. This is goodwill, respect, benevolence, care, friendliness, love for others and oneself. Not just others, oneself. The way loving-kindness practice is described in the suttas is a little bit different than how we practice it. Like when I do happy hour, I'm relying more on the way loving-kindness practice is described in the commentaries—so a little bit after the time of the suttas. But in the suttas, it is to imbue the mind with loving-kindness, this warm-heartedness if you will, and then to pervade it in ten directions. The four cardinal directions (north, south, east, west), the four intermediate directions (northwest, southwest, northeast, southeast), and then the two directions above and below. All directions.

To imbue the mind with loving-kindness and then pervade ten directions with this warm-heartedness. And then with a mind that is boundless, exalted, immeasurable, and well-developed. I find myself smiling when I'm talking about this, because sometimes, right, if we have this loving-kindness practice and we're able to really fill the heart and mind with this goodwill, and to be sending it out and including ourselves with it, that is such a way in which we are not expressing aggression, or stinginess, or deceit, or contempt, or resentment—all these other things that are in this list of sixteen.

In the sutta, it's not clear if the Buddha is saying first abandon these sixteen defilements and then practice the Brahma-vihāras, or maybe we might even understand it that practicing the Brahma-vihāras is a way in which we can help abandon some of these sixteen qualities. So many of you know the Brahma-vihāras. I first started talking about loving-kindness, but it also includes compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity. These four movements of the heart, we might say. I won't go into detail about what that is, but it's just a recognition that there's a sense of fullness, or a sense of maybe some safety, and that itself can be a refuge.

Bathing the Inner Mind

Then the Buddha and the brahmin start discussing bathing and purification. The Buddha says—so now he's directing his attention to the brahmin. Maybe by this time the brahmin has walked there and has sat down; that's not explicit, but that's what's happening in my mind is that now the brahmin is sitting with the monastics and is listening to what the Buddha has to say. The Buddha says, "Brahmin, this is what is called bathing the inner mind, instead of bathing the outer body."

So the Buddha is making a real distinction: to purify, cleanse, remove what's extra from the mind is really different than purifying, cleansing, removing what's extra on the external body.

The brahmin replies by saying, "Gotama, you should go to the Bahuka river to bathe, because one who bathes in the Bahuka river becomes purified and eliminates all evil." We learn that this brahmin was a person whose spiritual practice was to bathe in particular sacred rivers, with the belief that it didn't matter so much what actions you did, as long as you included the action of bathing in the river, then everything that you had done that was inappropriate or unskillful would just be washed away.

As a little aside, I'll say there's another sutta from the Therigatha^[10]—some of you might be familiar, this is the verses of the elder nuns—and there's a nun, her name escapes me, I think it's Puṇṇikā^[11], who also encounters a brahmin who has this practice that just, as long as you bathe in the right rivers, you can do whatever you want. I'm chuckling because the nun says to the brahmin something like this (I'm paraphrasing): "Well, if that were true, then wouldn't all the turtles and the fish and the crocodiles and serpents, wouldn't they all be perfectly pure? And if that were true, wouldn't all your good deeds also be washed away?" So I appreciate very much that this nun was speaking truth to power to this brahmin.

But getting back to this sutta where the Buddha is speaking to this brahmin about this inner cleansing, this inner bathing if you will, rather than outer. Then the Buddha says in verse: "For the pure in heart"—and I looked at the Pali, this word is heart as opposed to mind, which is a beautiful thing actually to think about having this pure heart. Maybe loving-kindness practice or Brahma-vihāra practice helps us to have this purity of heart. "For the pure in heart, it's always the spring festival or the sabbath." The Buddha is saying we don't have to wait for special days to go bathe in the river to be cleansed of wrongdoings. If we are pure of heart, then every day is a special day. "For the pure in heart and clean of deed, their vows will always be fulfilled." We don't have to go bathe in the river.

And then the Buddha says: "It is here, brahmin, that you should bathe to make yourself a refuge for all beings. It is here..." That is abandoning those defilements and practicing loving-kindness, which maybe isn't a surprise for any of us. Part of the Buddhist practice is these movements of the heart, movements of the mind, that allow us to show up for others, to create safety for others, to be a sanctuary for others.

It also points to this idea that behaving ethically is much more than just following the precepts, but also to notice any contempt or domineering or arrogance that we might have. For us to think about, what are some ways we might create safe spaces for others, create safe communities? Or if we find ourselves as part of a community, how can we support that community to be a place that's inclusive, that honors and recognizes and respects everybody from whatever background they have, however they're showing up?

And then maybe I'll close with an excerpt from yet one more sutta. This is a verse where the Buddha says: "One whose mind all day and night takes delight in harmlessness, who has loving-kindness for all beings, for them there is antagonism with none."

I'll say that again: "One whose mind all day and night takes delight in harmlessness, who has loving-kindness for all beings, for them there is antagonism with none."

That is, we can be a refuge for others. Thank you.