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Guided Meditation: Opening to More than Self

Greetings, and welcome to this meditation session that we will share together. I'm a little bit fond of the word conspiracy in that the root of the word comes from the word breathing, or like respire. So we who breathe together are a conspiracy. Here we are, our little conspiracy to learn how to be free.

As a little introduction to this sitting, I want to go back to the metaphor of riding a bicycle. If a person doesn't know how to ride a bicycle, as they're learning, there is a lot of attention on oneself. They are tracking the bike, tracking their balance, and tracking all the different things that have to be done with the feet and the hands. They focus on the positioning of the front wheel especially, and learning which way you turn the handles to turn the bike. There are a lot of things to manage, and it's wobbly and awkward. If a beginner who is learning to ride the bike focuses on the squirrels running around the trees, they are probably going to fall over. They don't know how to hold the balance yet. So, their attention is appropriately on themselves and what's going on.

Then, as they become more skilled at riding the bicycle, there doesn't need to be as much attention on themselves. As they continue to get more and more skilled, at some point they are able to ride the bicycle safely and also be able to enjoy the view. They can look at the squirrels and the trees, and riding a bicycle becomes second nature. The person doesn't need any conscious, intentional focus on their own body, their balance, or themselves as the operator of the bicycle. They don't have to self-consciously think about what they need to do, and the whole realm of focusing on oneself falls away. In fact, part of the joy of riding a bicycle with ease—when it's second nature—is that so much self-concern can drop away. A whole different dimension of being in the environment around you opens up that simply cannot open up for the beginner who is so intentionally focused internally.

This metaphor of being in life with self-consciousness falling away works very well for growing up. As we grow up, there are times when it's very appropriate to have a lot of attention placed internally—learning who we are and how we are in relationship with other people. But as we keep maturing, growing, and developing, at some point there is a letting go of needing to focus on oneself, letting go of that intentional self-conscious concern and preoccupation.

Meditation practice, as it develops and deepens, can be seen as enabling or supporting this continued maturation as an adult human being. Self-conscious focus on oneself—intentionally tracking every little nuance of how we feel, our judgments and beliefs around it, and the expectations of what is supposed to be there—begins to fall away. It becomes second nature to be with the breathing, to be in the present moment, to ride the wonderful bicycle of mindfulness, and to be able to enjoy all the different things that arise and pass as we sit, without reference to "me, myself, and mine." This can be seen developmentally as an appropriate maturation into a whole different way of being than it can be when we're a beginner riding a bike, or a young child just really needing to learn who they are in relationship to other people.

The topic of today's meditation is this idea of not taking things personally. Every time during this meditation^[1] that self-concern, self-preoccupation, or self-judgment arises, you don't have to get rid of it. You just say to yourself, "There's more. There's more." So you don't get limited by that, you don't get caught by it. Just recognize, "Oh, there's more," and open to the wider aspect, the fuller aspect of who you are as a mature person. Don't make yourself small by getting caught by self-definition. They will happen, of course—the self-judgments, the self-expectations, the measurement of "this is happening to me." Make yourself more.

One of the ways to do that in meditation is to redefine whatever arises. So, let's say that you have a pain in your knee. Don't say, "It's my pain," just open and say, "the pain." If you're feeling sad or angry, don't say "I'm angry" or "I'm sad." Just note, "there's sadness, there's anger," and open wider than that. Notice any ways of limiting yourself with the concepts of thinking "me, myself, and I," and just keep saying, "more, there's more here." In that way, you don't have to let go of the feeling, but you also don't have to be limited by it.

Guided Meditation

Take a meditation posture and spend a little bit of time focusing on the posture. Maybe move around in a way that feels nice for you, a nice way of being in your body. Move your shoulders in a way that feels good, maybe rocking back and forth.

Then gently close your eyes. With your eyes closed, let the attention be inward in the body, and establish a body posture that feels balanced, where things feel somewhat in harmony or aligned within you.

It's possible that for most of your life, you have breathed unself-consciously. The breathing just does itself. Perhaps become aware of the edges of your breathing, the edges in your body with the sensations. The outer edges of the sensations of breathing in your body.

If it makes sense to you, as you're aware of the outer edges of the sensations of breathing—maybe in the rib cage, the sides of your rib cage, deep down low in your belly, or in the back ribcage. Maybe there are movements in your shoulders. Gently, if it's possible, be aware of that with the edges of your awareness, your peripheral awareness, so there isn't a tight attempt to be laser-focused on anything.

Maintain a soft focus, an open focus. Perhaps allow a gentling of the mind. And perhaps there can be a softening of any tension or pressure associated with being the agent, the doer, the receiver of experience, or even the victim of what's happening. Soften and relax.

There's always more. Wider. The world of experience is always more, wider, and bigger than any little definition of self—me, myself, and mine.

Be again with the experience of breathing. The idea even here: there's more. A more that allows you to open up more to the body breathing.

As much as we are grounded in our body, there's always more. With the eyes closed, the body has soft edges to the environment around it. The field of awareness can be vast and open, not limited by any particular definition, or any particular action or thought.

More breathing. There's always more beyond the edges of what you're thinking. Thoughts themselves occur within a vast field of more. Beyond the edges of your thoughts, there's a wonderful openness available to you. A quiet stillness, spaciousness. If you don't limit yourself by your thoughts, but open to what's more.

In that more, perhaps the experience of breathing can expand outwards and open up into this vast more.

Anytime you get caught in thought, or feel like you get contracted, narrow, or focused too much on something, you might say, "more," and open.

And even in the more, there's more than the more. There's always more than anything that you can self-consciously associate yourself with. Relax, open, become quiet into that more. More than thoughts, more than feelings, more than body, more than breathing, more than any attempt to understand what's more. The more that is felt as you relax and let go.

Allow yourself to be as you are, but at the same time, know that there's always more. Not to be limited by anything, but to relax and open wider, beyond what is self-conscious, beyond what is self-definition. Beyond any ideas, fixations, or holding.

Reflections

As we come to the end of the sitting, know that more is an opening up into a wider world. It is opening up beyond any limitation of our self-definition, or the resistance and walls we put up.

There's also the more of our actions. They're relaxed and open. The more acts as a channel; it's a vehicle, a means by which^[2] how we feel, think, and do for others can flow. The more opens to the world of others. Our open heart, our open mind, and our open hands can be the means by which generosity flows from us to the wider world. The open mind and open heart is a means by which we care for that which is more than just ourselves. In a sense, we care for the wider world with the simplicity and the unself-consciousness with which we care for ourselves.

May it be that as we go forth from this meditation, we explore and act on how we can open up to the more of the world. May our generosity, our goodness, and our love for the world and others flow a little bit more fully for the next while. Let us not limit ourselves from generosity and love; rather, let us open, grow, and mature into the greater more, where caring for the world is a natural part of how we are, as natural as breathing.

May it be that our meditation practice supports us to have hearts that care for the welfare and happiness of all beings.

May all beings be happy.
May all beings be safe.
May all beings be healthy.
May all beings be free.^[3]