This is an AI-generated transcript from auto-generated subtitles for the video above. It likely contains inaccuracies, especially with speaker attribution if there are multiple speakers.

Happy Hour: Cultivating Ease

Introduction

Welcome everyone. It is lovely to sit with you this Friday, or Saturday for some of you, such as Murray Christine in Australia joining us. Lovely to sit with you in this moment in time, whatever the time might be.

For today's practice, I'd like to invite us to sit, to explore, and to let the fourth phrase of metta^[1] really simmer. Let's hang out with the fourth phrase of metta. Given that it's Friday, I like to say less today and have a lot more space for quiet and just for unwinding. I've noticed that's a nice space, a nice beat for a Friday practice, to leave more space. But I'll say just a few words to set the container.

With metta phrases, the four traditional metta phrases, the first one being about safety: "May I, may you be safe, feel safe." The second: "May I, may you, may we, may they, may all beings be happy." This has to do with mental happiness. The third phrase has to do with physical happiness, i.e., health: "May I, you, they, all beings be healthy and strong." And the fourth phrase: "May I have ease, may you have ease." This has to do with ease, our lives unfolding with ease: "May there be ease in our lives, may we take care of ourselves happily." So the fourth phrase has to do with how our lives unfold in the world.

We've discussed and explored the previous three phrases in the previous days and last week. If you're curious about those, they are all on YouTube and AudioDharma. Today we'll explore the fourth one. Of course, wherever you jump in doesn't matter, so don't feel like you've missed out. It's not like they're building on each other; each exploration is beautiful and worthwhile in and of itself.

Today, let's wish this fourth wish for our lives unfolding with ease. What does that even mean? Maybe we consider the opposite for a moment, that there are times that perhaps life feels hard, things feel hard. At times, there's a sense of ease. We take care of ourselves happily, and it feels like life is humming along for us or for others. That's the wish. It's kind of like there would be grease in the crankshaft and the wheels, that everything just kind of runs smoothly. That idea of, "May I take care of myself happily, may my livelihood, for example, unfold with ease."

It has to do with our worldly ways of being, the way we are in the world, or the conditions. May there be ease, peace, ease. If we consider these wishes, these blessings, these phrases of metta as generosities of heart that we offer ourselves and we offer others, it's just a wish. It could be that there are areas in our lives or for others that there is no ease; it's tight, it's hard, there is contraction, and it's okay. Similar to the other three phrases of metta, we're not offering this phrase to make it go away. It's not an attachment to outcome. If there is attachment to outcome, we keep saying, "Okay, may I have ease, may I have ease, may I have ease," and feel tight about it. "May I have ease? Do I have ease yet? Ouch." You see how it kind of gets a little strange. Whereas we offer it with generosity as if we're blessing ourselves: "May there be ease in my life."

We do this fully well knowing that there might be areas where there is no ease, and it's okay. We still offer this wish, this blessing, fully well knowing there are areas with no ease. Maybe there will be ease, maybe there may not be ease, knowing that conditions of life are impermanent^[2] and ease comes and goes. It's not something we can hang on to. Because if we try to hang on to ease, we get rope burn. Rope burn is similar to trying to hang on to impermanence: when the rope keeps running, ouch, and you try to hang on, you can't hang on. You let go, you let your heart release. And yet this wish is offered with generosity to yourself if we're doing metta for ourselves, or generosity for others: "May you have ease, dear one. May you have ease, dear human being. May you have ease, dear stranger." So again, fully well knowing that life is impermanent and there might be ease or not, we are just offering this as a cultivation of our own heart.

I've said plenty. We'll start this practice by settling in our breath, in our body, and inviting the mind to settle, and then we'll turn to the practice. Let's start our practice formally. I'll invite you to get into your meditation posture, whatever that is. If you need to sit differently, use a different implement, or lie down, it's all okay. See what your body needs in this moment.

Guided Meditation

See how this body can express ease, can be held in ease in this moment, as much as it is available right now. You might be surprised how much is available.

Can the forehead, the tightness of the forehead release into ease? The eyes resting in their socket, can they relax into ease? Muscles of the face, behind the face, neck and shoulders, arms and hands, release into ease.

Chest, abdomen, as they expand and contract with the breath. Whole upper body releasing, releasing more and more and more into ease. The lower abdomen, the sit bones, the contact points between the bottom and the cushion, dropping their weight into the cushion, releasing.

Upper legs, lower legs, and feet. The whole body released into ease with each breath. Nowhere to go, nothing to do in this moment but to just be breathed.

And if thoughts arise for this moment of practice, can they be released into ease? Gentle releasing, gently opening the hand as if holding a string of helium balloons, releasing to the big sky of awareness with ease.

Letting, inviting the lower abdomen to be breathed, to be breathing the breath in and out. Ease breathed into the lower abdomen. Ease breathed out, as if happening on its own, no doing or forcing required. And if you notice any resistance or forcing, tightness in the body or in the mind, can there be a fluffy cloud of ease that can hold gently, softly, wherever there is lack of ease? With breath being breathed around it, providing this fluffy cushion. It's okay, it doesn't have to go away. It can just be held, this lack of ease, if any.

"May my life unfold with ease." Dropping this phrase in lightly. "May my life unfold with ease." As if a sacred blessing just dropped in. "May this life of mine unfold with ease as much as possible. May I have peace, may I have ease." See what version works better for you.

I wish ease for this person who is me. May this person, may this being take care of themselves, himself, herself happily. If you like, you can imagine someone who cares about you, or an archetype of care and unconditional love, wishing you ease, and you just receiving it.

This person, this being says, "May you take care of yourself happily, may you have ease in your life," or whatever version works for you. Maybe they wish you spaciousness in your heart and your mind, lightness, brightness in your heart. The sense of presence to how your life unfolds, aware of the miracle that it is in each moment. Receiving these gifts, these blessings as if sacred gifts from this loving, caring being, without attachment to outcomes. Letting your heart, your body relax, receiving each blessing.

"May I have ease. May this life of mine unfold with ease. May there be ease in my life, my heart, and my mind, my livelihood, the unfolding of my life." Either wishing for yourself, or receiving it from the caring being, or both. May there be ease, may there be.

Now considering someone that you care about, and you would like to wish them ease in their life, turning the metta outward externally. Bringing the image, the felt sense of this being, this friend, wishing them ease: "May you have ease. May your life unfold with ease, dear being. I wish you ease." Offering these wishes like blessings without attachment to outcome, offering them freely with generosity of heart. As if you're sprinkling good wishes of ease all around them, all over them like magic dust: "May you have ease." With generosity of heart.

And now, internally and externally: "May we both have ease in our lives. May there be ease, may there be ease."

For the last moment of this practice, letting there be ease. The way you consider this practice period, let there be ease. No judgment whether the mind was distracted, sleepy, whether there was lack of ease, it's all okay. Let there be ease. Let there be ease, holding, supporting spaciously with each breath. Holding the lack of ease. Let there be ease. Let there be ease. May all beings everywhere, including us, have ease.

Reflections

Thank you. Thanks everyone for your practice. I wonder if you feel more ease in your body and your heart and your mind, or maybe less ease? We have time for reflections. What do you notice? What you learned? You can raise your hand if you wish. You can type them to me. If they're typed privately, I will not read your name. If they're typed to everyone, I will say your name out loud.

One reflection that just came in is, "Thank you, your warmth is so wonderful." You're so welcome, thank you for your practice. So, Mirage, please.

Mirage: I want to thank you from the depth of my heart for your nurturing presence and guidance, and everyone for your presence. I have been going through challenges in my practice today on my retreat, and this is so beautiful. Such a beautiful synchronicity that I decided to show up today actually in person instead of doing YouTube with you, because this is the topic exactly of my challenge of being too hard on myself. I knew it on the mind level; I was aware of my mind being very strict and of a harsh inner dialogue. But today I was able to drop onto my body level and experience that heartache and that pain of years of pushing myself, and almost like everything I did was because I was pushing myself too hard. It's so beautiful to just release that and cry. I was laying down and hugging myself for the practice, and I felt I was being held by all of you with your awareness. So thank you so much.

Nikki Mirghafori: My eyes are feeling moist. Mirage, thank you so much for the grace of your presence and your practice and sharing yourself. Holding and feeling held, what a gift. Thank you so much. Thank you. Paul, please.

Paul: Thank you Nikki, and everyone. One thing that emerged in this practice today was the image of how ease interacts with exertion or intention. For example, in health practices, doing something challenging becomes easier as we hydrate ourselves, as we eat well, as we sleep. There's this whole set of practices that can make exertion and ease come together in a flow. It's almost like that resistance gets worn away by water flowing over it and wearing it over time. I feel the challenge for me is, you know, so often called into work that is transformational, whether it's sustainability or social justice, where there's this inherent resistance in the work. It's a work of changing something that is stuck in a way that it is. And the challenge for me is always that I absorb that resistance into myself and it creates a lack of ease in me, because I feel like I'm fighting against the very nature of intention for transformation, pushing against something that is a way that you want it to be different. What came up for me today was how to create that same sense of ease in effort, or ease in transformation, like water flowing over these resistances through practice. And not knowing necessarily what all those practices can be that lead to that, but by doing the meditation in the way that you were guiding today, just instead of trying to figure out what practices are or what to do, just being open to looking for and exploring and receiving that ease as I put myself in a place of resistance in order to be part of change. So thank you.

Nikki Mirghafori: Thank you Paul, thank you. Hearing the beautiful reflection you brought in with resistance inside, this external wanting to make change happen, and then this contraction actually coming inside, and wondering, "Okay, what could be those conditions to actually support it?" I have a suggestion and invitation for you to explore, and it's very simple. The invitation is this: notice when there is contraction inside—and you know what I mean when I say contraction inside. Notice when there is contraction inside, and just gently ask, "Can there be ease? Can there be ease?" Holding this, it doesn't have to open. "Can there be ease?" And maybe the answer will be yes, maybe the answer will be no, but just ask. Just gently, humbly ask, "Can there be ease? Can there be, can there be ease?" And you might be surprised. Thank you.

One reflection on YouTube... you are so very welcome, yeah. Glad it was impactful. Let's turn to practicing in community. From internal as I was inviting us to external, how can we wish others ease while we're holding ourselves with ease? And if you notice contraction in the way you're relating, "Oh, can there be ease? Can there be ease in this little sandbox?" If you notice yourself, you know, the ego wanting to prop itself up or feeling small, "Oh sweetie, can there be ease? Can there be ease? Can this contraction be let go into ease?" You can practice with that in this field, which is great because it's just a little tiny bit more challenging than sitting quietly, but not as challenging as practicing with people who are not practicing. So here in the sandbox, I invite you to start with 15 seconds of silent wishing ease for each other. Whoever is in the room, you wish them ease, and then sharing whatever you like, and notice if there is ease when you're discussing, or if there's tightness. And yeah, practice with it.

[Breakout sessions occur]

Welcome back everyone, the rooms are closed. We have a couple of minutes for reflections. What did you notice in community practice? Especially if you haven't spoken today or in a while, I would love to hear from you. What did you notice with this practice of ease, especially internally, externally? We'd love to hear your insights or questions or challenges, anything. Yes, please, Richard.

Richard: Can you hear me? A friend of mine compared ease or ease of well-being with equanimity^[3]. I wondered if you sync up with that.

Nikki Mirghafori: What was the last part that you said?

Richard: About whether or not that makes sense to you.

Nikki Mirghafori: Oh, ease and equanimity. I think there is a relationship, yeah. This is how I would say it: equanimity I think of as equipoise, as a sense of ease with the comings and goings of things. Right? It's ease with conditions just as they are, with comings, goings, etc. There's a sense of ease. So yes, in that way I'll sign up for that one. Thank you Richard, that's great.

Any other reflections? You can also type them if you wish. Oh, and it's seven! Well, I guess we have come to the end of our time together. Time flies when you're having fun with ease. Thank you all. Thank you so much for showing up and practicing, not just for yourself but for all those whose lives yours touches directly or indirectly. May all beings be happy, may all beings be free. Thanks everyone.