Happy Hour: Kind Spaciousness With What Is Already Present Internally
- Date:
- 2023-05-02
- Speakers:
- Nikki Mirghafori [Talks] [@AudioDharma]
- Location:
- Insight Meditation Center [Talks] [@YouTube]
- Generation:
- 2026-05-08 (gemini-3-pro-preview) [Raw Markdown] [YouTube Video]
- Keywords:
This is an AI-generated transcript from auto-generated subtitles for the video above. It likely contains inaccuracies, especially with speaker attribution if there are multiple speakers.
Introduction
Oh, great. So hello and welcome, everyone. It's lovely to see you. It's lovely to be with you. I was away from Happy Hour last week. I was teaching a retreat at the Insight Retreat Center, where many of our Happy Hour Sangha[1] members were present, and it was lovely to meet you in person. And those who were not present, we held you—the Sangha—in our hearts. It's just really nice to have this sense of the Sangha that's online and at retreats, and various ways for us to come together. Which reminds me, actually, I'll say it now, I'll say it later too: I'm also teaching an in-person metta[2] daylong at IMC for those of you who are local on Saturday, September 30th. So put that on your calendars if you're in the Bay Area.
So with that, I'd like to share practice this evening and bring in the sense of landing into peace and quiet, and with metta, with kindness. The intertwining of these two practices can be quite nourishing to the heart: the place of stillness, and within that also meeting and holding with a sense of acceptance any emotions or any thoughts there might be. You know, today maybe you felt disappointed, frustrated, or sad. We've had difficult moments. It's okay. It's really okay. As human beings we have these moments. We have emotions.
So how do we hold them with skillfulness? Feel them, not exile them, and bring compassion. Bring care both for ourselves and others. So these are the themes I'd like to bring into our practice in this moment.
Happy Hour: Kind Spaciousness With What Is Already Present Internally
So with that, I'd like to invite us all to land, to transition to landing in this body. Turning awareness inward. And greeting whatever is present in the heart, the mind, and the body, as if you are taking a pulse—a kind pulse, with kindness.
What's here? Maybe there's some achiness present. Maybe agitation, distraction, heaviness in the heart. Whatever is present, allowing it to be present just as it is, with kindness. Relaxing the body. Letting there be spaciousness. It can all be here.
And letting the breath be just as it is. You don't have to breathe in any special way. And tuning into the spaciousness there is around, holding all of what's present in the body and the mind. As if the breath is expansive, it's spacious. Making peaceful, calm space to be with everything just as it is.
Letting the body be relaxed and breathing with whatever is present with patience, kindness.
Letting the breath be a soothing, calming friend. Making space. If the mind is busy or distracted, it's okay. The breath can be present, making space around that so we don't have to get agitated or upset. It's okay, that's right. Can there be ease?
Making space with kindness for whatever there is. Breathing with it, breathing around it. And so, there's plenty of space in the heart and the mind for everything to be here just as it is.
Nothing else is needed. Just to be with the breath. Accompany the breath, this friend. Making space with kindness for whatever there is in the body, mind, and heart of this moment. Very simple. Spaciousness of presence and acceptance with kindness.
It's okay. It's okay. Just plenty of space for everything to be here just as it is.
Here. Here spaciously. Here with kindness. With the breath or whatever is present.
Let us now gladden our hearts, our mind. Let us recollect some act of kindness. Take delight in generosity, or just the fact that we have brought ourselves to this practice period. Not judging how the mind or body are, but appreciating our intention. That goodness to show up. Just to show up. Take a moment to recollect something good about this being who is you. A kind act. Generous, wise, something. Let your heart be uplifted. Take your time.
As if you were observing your own life, your own actions, as a loving good friend would. Stepping out of yourself for a moment. Maybe it was patience, perseverance, support you offered. Let your heart be uplifted by the goodness.
Don't take these acts, these little ordinary kindnesses, acts of wisdom, patience, for granted. By turning to them we help them grow. Let this recollection of goodness be a way to feel, to hold yourself with kindness and metta. This being who is you.
May I be safe. May I be happy. May I be healthy. May I have ease. May I have the supportive conditions to help my goodness grow and shine for my own sake and the sake of all beings.
I wish myself well.
Let's bring this practice period to a close. Appreciating your showing up, and everyone showing up. May our co-created goodness in this space be of service to our own growth, to our own cultivation of kindness, peace, goodness, ethical behavior. And may it support the waking up of not just ourselves, but all beings everywhere. May all beings be happy. May all beings be free, including ourselves.
Reflections
Thanks everyone. Thank you for your practice.
Now before we turn to a small group practice, I wanted to just say a few words about what we did tonight—a summary. So the invitation tonight was actually a very simple invitation. The invitation was to be with the breath and letting the breath make space. Making accepting kind space around whatever is present in the body, the mind, and the heart, without pushing them away. By connecting with the breath as a way of stability, to create collectedness of mind, and kindness. And then a sense of spaciousness. Spaciousness because there's so much more. We usually focus on what's difficult and our mind gets really tight and small. But this invitation for spaciousness, and then realizing, "Wow, yes, the challenge with difficulties, if there are any emotions, we can have them without being completely overwhelmed by them. There's a lot more that can be present."
And at the end, I invited you to turn to recollecting your own goodness to gladden the heart. It's one way of doing this practice that's called Buddhānussati[3], recollections of the qualities of the Buddha. In this way, we're recollecting the qualities of the Buddha within. The kindness, the generosity, the wisdom itself. That was what we did. And whatever showed up for you, or didn't show up for you, is all fine. It's exactly as it needs to be. Let there be acceptance, peace, and non-judgment for what needed to arise this evening, or well, depending on your time zone, wherever you are.
So now I'd like to invite us to turn to practicing in small groups. The prompt is: what happens when you have a difficult emotion? What happens if you deny it, if you try to push it away, deny that you have it, versus if you allow it to be? Which doesn't mean that you act out of it, but if there's a sense of, "Okay, frustration arising, sadness arising," and also if there is a sense of spaciousness around the acceptance. So maybe some words come up. And if no words come up, you can just bow and say "pass," and hold kind presence in the container.
So I'm going to create the breakout rooms. Take care of yourselves, take care of each other. Be kind. [...] In the small groups, let's go in alphabetical order. You are invited to share just something from your own practice. Maybe share a short nugget, a minute or half a minute, and then let another person speak. It's not appropriate to ask questions of someone else, or guide, or lead the group. Just show up with what you want to share, and let people share whatever they want to share or not. Just creating as safe and accepting a space as possible for one another. Okay, all right, here we go. I'm going to open the rooms now.
[Breakout rooms were created]
Okay, welcome back everyone. The rooms are closed and we have some time for reflections. You can either raise your hand if you haven't spoken for a while in the group. You can raise your Zoom hand; if it's your physical hand, I may not see you. You can also share your reflections or questions in chat. If you send them to me privately, I will read your reflection, not your name. If you send them to everyone, I will also read your name to attribute it to you.
So what did you discover in this practice, either through silent practice or in the sharing? What did you discover about making space with kindness for what is—emotions, challenges—instead of pushing them away? Letting there be kind space, maybe with stillness even. Any reflections?
Sabrina?
Sabrina: Yeah, I showed up today with a migraine, and I didn't realize how much I was pushing the pain and frustration away until I chose to really embrace it. How much more space there was, and how much more acceptance I was feeling. And then by the end of the session, my migraine was gone. So it felt really practical for me, as well as a reminder to keep acknowledging my emotions rather than pushing them away. So practically it was really great, and emotionally it felt really great. So thank you so much.
Nikki: Yay, thank you Sabrina. Oh my goodness, I'm seeing claps and appreciations and hearts in Zoom space for your share. Thank you so much for sharing that. It's so inspiring what you shared, beautiful. Right when we're in the moment, we turn, we realize, and things just shift. Yay! Yeah, I'm celebrating your practice along with others. This is so beautiful. Yeah, this is so great. Exactly what Sabrina said, that's great. Beautiful.
And Rain, am I saying your name right?
Rain: Yes, yes. What I shared was that I had been in a hit-and-run bike accident in August, and I actually showed up for this group... working through the fear and anxiety that came out of that accident has become easy for me. What I've noticed lately is when I'm feeling really happy, I feel guilty around people, because there are still a lot of people I know who are in fear, and post-COVID kind of malaise here in San Francisco. They've lost jobs or, you know... So something you did last Friday, we did the emanating love and being like a sun. So I noticed lately I just—one way I've mitigated that guilt for feeling so happy around people who are sad is like, "I'm just going to shine and share my joy." Because I don't want to give it up, but it was just a great tool that you gave Friday to help me have that.
Nikki: Beautiful. Thank you so much, Rain. Such wisdom in applying that to what's arising, as you said, with the sense of guilt or shame. Like, "Others aren't happy and it's bad for me to be." It's actually, "I can give it away. I can be that, and I can give it away. I can give my gladness, my kindness, my metta, my stillness, my peace. I'm going to give it away. It's not for me to keep. It's like a sun that shines; I'm giving it away." Ah, what an act of generosity you've chosen to do, Rain. That's beautiful. Thank you. Thanks for sharing that. Inspiring. Ah, so lovely.
And Nusha, yes. Nusha says, "Thanks for your kind words. It was my first retreat, and it was very impactful." Yay! She just attended a seven-day silent retreat at IRC. Delighted that you were there, Nusha, and it was impactful for you. May you shine your light now, may you give away your happiness, may you give away your kindness and peace from the retreat. So great. Yeah.
Any last reflections, comments, questions?
Yeah, a question here from Sridevi: "After I notice that I'm afraid of doing something new, then how do I address it?"
The same way. Acknowledge that you're afraid. Don't try to push fear away. Can you see it? Acknowledge it. "Okay," breathe with it. Make space for it, and don't let it take the whole space. Don't let it suck the air out of the room. It can be here. Yeah, it's, "Thank you for trying to warn me. Thank you for trying to protect me, dear fear. Yes, I see you. Okay, you be here too. And there's also a wholesome intention, etc." Let it have a seat at the table, but not the megaphone. So that's what I would say, Sridevi, and see that in your own practice, how that works.
So thank you all. Thank you so much for your practice. Thank you for letting your light shine, cultivating your sun and letting it shine, and making kind space for what there already is in this heart and mind. May we all wake up. May we be happy and support all beings in their happiness and waking up through our practice.
Thanks everyone. Be well.
Sangha: A Pali word meaning "community" or "assembly," often referring to the community of Buddhist practitioners. ↩︎
Metta: A Pali word often translated as "loving-kindness" or "goodwill." ↩︎
Buddhānussati: A Pali term meaning the recollection or mindfulness of the Buddha and his virtues. Original transcript said 'Buddha nusrati', corrected to 'Buddhānussati' based on context. ↩︎