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Guided Meditation: Being with Resistance

Good evening. Good evening, it's nice to be here.

We'll do a little bit of a guided meditation, and then I'll give a talk. So to begin the guided meditation, just feel into what it feels like right now to be here this moment. Maybe there was a little bit of resistance: "Am I going to meditate, am I not?" Maybe there was some eagerness: "Oh, it's time, time to go sit." Or maybe there was just a sense of, "Okay, this is what I do at 7:30 California time on Monday nights." Whatever it might be, just to feel into how it feels now, this moment.

Maybe I'll share that you might notice that over my shoulder is a different figure. I feel a certain delight to be sitting here with her. This is Paṭācārā^[1]. She was one of the foremost teachers at the time of the Buddha. She was officially given as a gift yesterday, and there'll be a bigger event when we can all be here in person for the official installation down at IRC^[2], the retreat center. But right now she's accompanying us and all our beautiful intentions, all of our goodness that comes forth when we practice.

So I just wanted to share that I'm feeling a particular type of delight. You might not be having delight, but whatever it is, can you just tune into whatever your experience is in a relaxed, easy, warm-hearted way?

It can be helpful at the beginning of a meditation to pay some attention to our posture, and to find that mixture, that combination, that balance between alertness and ease, the balance between uprightness and relaxation. Go ahead and spend just some moments in finding that ease if you feel like it would be helpful, finding that balance, finding that place in the posture.

And we can begin mindfulness practice by bringing our awareness to the sensations of breathing. That is to feel the stretching, the tautness, relaxation that we might feel in the abdomen or the chest as the body breathes. Or maybe it's feeling the air going in and out of the nose, feeling the warmth and the coolness of the air.

It's natural that the mind wants to continue its momentum of thinking. You've been thinking all day. So when you find yourself lost in thought, you can just begin again.

There might be a little bit of resistance to letting go of the thoughts, or resistance to being here in this moment because perhaps it doesn't seem that interesting or otherwise worthwhile. Can you just feel into and notice the resistance, and use that as the object until it's no longer compelling, and then very simply, gently, begin again with the sensations of breathing?

The breath or the breathing doesn't need to be any particular way. We're just using it as an anchor, as a place to rest the awareness. The breath can be a useful anchor because it is changing, it's soothing, it's a little bit more interesting.

But if the breath, for some reason, is not a good choice for you, there are a few alternatives, including awareness of sounds or awareness of sensations in the body, maybe feeling the pressure of the chair or cushion against the body. Whichever anchor you use, see if there is a way in which your attention, your awareness, can be relaxed, yet not lackadaisical or complacent, with just the right amount of effort. And this of course takes some practice to figure out for ourselves.

There's no need to be in a hurry to get somewhere. We're just here with the sensations of breathing.

Notice if there is any struggle or resistance to your experience, trying to push something away or wrestle it away in some kind of way. If so, is there a way that you can allow it to be there? Allow the experience to be there, because after all, it is there. It might be that opening it up and introducing allowing or accepting changes the ecology in some kind of way that allows something new, something different to arise, a shift to happen.

There's no need to resist any resistance, or struggle with any struggling. Instead, we can turn them into our objects of meditation, letting go of the sensations of breathing or whatever object we're using, and turning towards the experience of struggling, resisting, somehow wrestling with our experience. What does that feel like? What is that experience of getting into a tussle with what's happening? What does that feel like?

Simply bring some warm-hearted curiosity. Not so that we can figure it out, but so that we can bring our attention to it, in some way invite it in. This too, this too can be part of our meditation.

We can learn a lot about ourselves by noticing when we do feel like there's some resistance to our experience. How do we respond? What does resisting, struggling, tussling with feel like? How do we respond when there are difficulties? And importantly, what helps create the conditions in which we can shift any sense of struggle or resistance? Are there ways in which we can open our awareness, relax our awareness, soften any ideas we have about how it should be, and instead just be with how things are for this moment, for this moment?

In this way our capacity grows as we learn, as we practice, as we become familiar with all the different ways we resist. Our capacity grows to be with uncomfortable experiences, to be with that which is unfolding differently than we wanted it to. And this increased capacity allows us to show up in the world in a way that we can hold, be present for other people's difficulties, individuals we might interact with, and difficulties in society at large.

So our meditation practice is a way that helps us to show up in the world, so that we can hold difficulties. We can have compassion for others who, just like us, are having things perhaps unfold in a way they wish it didn't unfold in that particular way. Then we can be a support for them in the same way that our practice can be a support for us. And so our practice can be for the benefit of those we interact with directly, and then radiate out from there.

So may our meditation practice be for the benefit of all beings everywhere, without exception.