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Happy Hour: Our Inner Quan-Yin and the Cries of the World

Hello and welcome, everyone, to Happy Hour. It is lovely to see you and wonderful to be with you. It is always happy-making going around, saying hellos, and reading all the places in the country and the world that you're joining from. It brings joy to see so many people dedicating this time, whether it's Friday afternoon, early evening, late evening, or the middle of the day on Saturday. Coming together and practicing together just makes my heart happy. Hello also to the folks joining us from YouTube.

For the theme tonight, I would like to share something inspired by John Keats^[1]. He lived through a time of pandemic and died from tuberculosis when he was twenty-five years old. Many people in his family were ill and died before him, so he went through a lot of suffering. This quote is from a beautiful letter that he wrote to his brother:

"Call the world if you Please 'The vale of Soul-making.' Then you will find out the use of the world... I am speaking now in the highest terms for human nature admitting it to be mortal... I say 'Soul making' Soul as distinguished from an Intelligence. There may be intelligences or sparks of the divinity in millions—but they are not Souls till they acquire identities, till each one is personally itself... Do you not see how necessary a World of Pains and troubles is to school an Intelligence and make it a soul? A place where the heart must feel and suffer in a thousand diverse ways!"

He asks, "Do you not see how necessary a world of pains and troubles is to school an intelligence and make it a soul?" He is talking about intelligence—knowing, awareness—and that all the pains and sorrows of the world are necessary in order to take this knowing and make us into a heart. Perhaps instead of the word soul, I will use heart. How do we take a mind and make it into a heart? The suffering of the world is needed for us to feel compassion for ourselves and for others. He ends by saying it is "a place where the heart must feel and suffer in a thousand diverse ways." So, call the world, if you please, the vale of soul-making, or maybe I would say the vale of compassion-making, the vale of heart-making.

This is a teaching in Buddhism: that compassion arises, and suffering isn't just in vain. Another teaching in Buddhism that comes to mind is that there are two types of suffering. There is suffering that leads to more suffering, and there is suffering that leads to the end of suffering.

The type of suffering that leads to more suffering is asking, "Why me? This is terrible. Why is this happening to them? This is awful." It is just wallowing in pain. We all know that type, right? When the mind just takes off, and we are wallowing in it.

The second type of suffering is one that leads to the end of suffering, and that is a profound teaching. It depends on how we approach and see suffering. If we get lost in it, we are just piling on suffering. But if we open our hearts and cultivate compassion—as Keats said, calling the world "the vale of soul-making," or as I call it, compassion-making—it makes us into real human beings who feel, love, and are compassionate, fully inhabiting our humanity.

A compassionate heart has freedom. There is freedom, strength, beauty, peace, and bliss in compassion. As we work with suffering through compassion, it opens our hearts towards ourselves and others. There are also wisdom practices: when we see unsatisfactoriness^[2], it can lead to seeing the three characteristics^[3]: impermanence, unsatisfactoriness, and not-self. This ends suffering in the sense that we don't wallow in it. Of course, suffering still happens for us and others in the world, and we are impacted because our hearts open up to compassion. When there is suffering, our perspective changes so that the automatic response is compassion and care. There is stability, beauty, and goodness in compassion.

In the bigger perspective of equanimity^[4], we hold it all spaciously. We are impacted, and yet we don't wallow. Our perspective doesn't become limited to just the suffering, and we don't just identify with the suffering for ourselves and others. That was a longer Dharma talk than I intended to give, but that is the framing for tonight.

Guided Meditation

Dear friends, let's practice together. Let's land in our seats. If you need to shift and move so that you're comfortable, it's the perfect time. Sitting, lying down, or standing—arriving in this body. Arriving in this moment in time.

For this moment, release out of care and love. Release entanglements just to stabilize, to cultivate stability. Arrive, feeling each breath in the lower abdomen. Let it be breathed on its own.

Feel the bottoms of your feet on this earth. Earth on earth. The solidity, the contact points. Imagine as if you're breathing through your feet, as if the breath was being breathed from Mother Earth into this body, each breath nourishing.

Moving up from the feet, through the legs, through the sit bones, through the belly, up through the torso. Touching the belly, the chest, arms, and head. Not in an effortful way; let it happen on its own. Connected to Mother Earth, energized and breathed by her.

Each breath soothing, comforting, and deeply settling your body and your heart. Each breath nourishing, settling, being breathed through the feet, up through the legs, through the torso, expanding through the body. Calming, nourishing, healing, stabilizing, and settling the heart and mind. Bring a sense of stability with each breath. Both grounded and stable, relaxed and alert. Tender heart, stable and grounded.

Now let us imagine, if you will, the paragon and perfection of compassion. This being—if you're not familiar with Quan-Yin^[5], you can imagine the Buddha, or whomever you have a relationship with. Imagine them gazing upon you, holding you as you sit in their presence.

In your mind's eye, they hold you with a compassionate gaze, knowing your life, your history, your sorrows, and your suffering. They know your joys and your goodness within. They see that even more than you see it in yourself. They see all of you, so much more than you can see yourself. Let yourself be seen with eyes of compassion, letting your body relax, continuing to be breathed through the earth, being embodied.

Maybe this is not visual; maybe it's a feeling that you're being held in the energy of compassion by them. Or maybe it's a felt sense of sitting on their lap, being held like a newborn. Appreciate how their compassion is stable and powerful. It's a soothing balm. They love, care for, and hold all that you are—the ten thousand joys and the ten thousand sorrows—expansively, without being toppled into your suffering. They care, and yet there is stability.

Now imagine that they so gently and lovingly set you down and say to you, "Let me show you how it's done." They invite you to see the world through their eyes. As if the Buddha or Quan-Yin has entered your heart and mind. It's your body, but they are gazing out. You feel this sense of stability, looking through their eyes, their gaze of unbounded compassion for yourself and for the world.

Hear the cries of sorrow, yourself and others included, those who are suffering in war zones, and hear the joys also. Being breathed through Mother Earth, through your feet, the heart expansive, looking through the eyes of ultimate compassion.

Allow yourself to be impacted. Of course, you feel. There is love, there is caring, and yet you are not toppled over. Holding the sorrows and suffering of the world opens your heart more to the goodness of compassion. Not empathic distress, which is agony, but compassion, which is soothing, healing, and wishing well for others and for yourself. There is care and warmth. The heart quivers and feels with the sorrow and suffering within the stability. The world is the vale of compassion-making.

If at any point it feels overwhelming as the Buddha or Quan-Yin is teaching you, gently let yourself be held in their compassion. You don't have to push yourself. Let yourself be held in compassion, care, and love. It is a gentle cultivation and training.

If there's any judgment arising—"I can't do this," "This is hard," or "My mind is wandering"—it's okay. You're doing your best. Let it all be held expansively with compassion and care. Let the judgment be held with non-judgment, compassion, care, and love.

As we come to the end of this practice period, allow your inner Quan-Yin, your inner Buddha, to hold you. However this practice period was, let it be held with care, compassion, and appreciation. Let go of any judgment; you've done your best.

Offering our collective goodness to all beings everywhere. May all beings everywhere be safe and have ease. May all beings everywhere, including ourselves, be free.

Thank you, everyone. Thank you for your practice.

Reflections and Q&A

We have a few minutes for any reflections or questions. You can type them in the chat if you wish. If you type them to me privately, I won't read your name, just the reflection. You can also type them publicly or raise your hand. Any questions, comments, or complaints—everything is welcome. Any aha moments or anything that you discovered?

Did anyone realize that you had more stability than you thought with Quan-Yin? Neil, I see your hand.

Neil: Yeah, but you just said what I was going to say. You ruined it. [Laughter]

Nikki Mirghafori: I take it back, Neil, you say it now.

Neil: First of all, that was a lovely practice. When you started, I was thinking, "Why are we doing this earth thing?" but I had nothing better to do, so I went with it. Then we started talking about difficult things, and I found myself flipping back and forth in my head. Right when things got difficult, I would feel the ground inside of me for a breath or two. It was a very strong stance.

Nikki Mirghafori: Beautiful. Thank you, Neil. Strong stance. I'm delighted. There is a method to the madness. Aurora, please.

Aurora: I come from a family of people who are always trying to be saviors. I could feel in this meditation—embodying Quan-Yin or having Quan-Yin embody me—just how different it is to be with versus to jump in. I understand that conceptually, but it was nice to feel it in a bodily way. There's a coolness to it that I really appreciated. I don't know if you have recommendations for doing more of this, because when I do a mettā^[6] practice, I can sometimes get caught in the closeness of things.

Nikki Mirghafori: My dear, it's available to you. Your inner Quan-Yin, your inner Buddha, is always available to you. Call them up, and they show up and embody you in any moment. This is a method. It's available to you anytime; this could be your practice.

[A participant holds up an image of Quan-Yin on camera.]

Nikki Mirghafori: Oh, beautiful! What a gorgeous image of Quan-Yin. That is so perfect. Maybe before we close, we'll spotlight you and you can hold it up. This is another way of practice, all skillful means. If this worked, great. Susan, please.

Susan: Thank you for that practice. I've been influenced mostly by the Chinese version of Quan-Yin, where she's sitting cross-legged, looking very serene and almost joyful while being compassionate. When I invited her to embody us and looked out through her eyes, I remembered one of the translations of her Chinese name is "The one who listens with ease to the sounds of the world." She is so rooted in the present moment, the wholeness of everything, or the emptiness (śūnyatā^[7]) side of things. She is rooted and joyful in that, unperturbed, with room for this big heart to feel compassion.

Nikki Mirghafori: Thank you for bringing that in. Her listening joyfully, with ease, and this invocation of emptiness—she sees the emptiness and yet is moved. It doesn't mean, "Oh, I don't care, it's all empty." The translation "empty" for śūnyatā is kind of funny because it's actually full of possibility. I feel like I need to give a whole talk on this, but I'll leave it there and come back to it another time.

A couple of written reflections before we go into groups. Steve says, "This was a new visualization: having the compassionate one inside us and seeing through those eyes. Where did this come from? Something to do more of and get better at." There are so many skillful means. Some of these practices come through me, and this one was perhaps inspired by something I learned from Jack Kornfield^[8] or someone else.

In a private reflection: "I appreciated the earth breathing us from the feet up. Usually, I begin meditation from the top of my head down." Yes, all these different ways of experiencing can open us up.

As we come into small groups, I invite you to speak only from your own experience. Do not comment on someone else's experience, ask them questions, or serve as a facilitator. You share one nugget from your experience or hold silence, and pass it to the next person instead of a long monologue. Keep the space sacred. Enter the space with love and care for yourself and others, as if three Quan-Yins are showing up, listening to each other and holding each other with care.

(Group break)

Nikki Mirghafori: Okay everyone, the rooms are closed and everyone is back. We seem to be out of time. I'll finish by reading one reflection that came in earlier: "I imagined I was a lotus flower emerging from the mud of the earth with Quan-Yin sending me all of her compassion. Then I could let that compassion move through and out of me." What a beautiful way to practice as a lotus flower. Whatever works as skillful means.

Thank you all for your practice, for cultivating your own inner Quan-Yin and inner Buddha for the benefit of yourself and all beings. May all beings be well. May all beings be free.