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Guided Meditation: Unconstricted Awareness

So, good day to everyone and welcome to our dharma time together. For this Sunday morning meditation, I'd like to use an analogy. It's a little bit of a rough analogy: if you put black duct tape around a light bulb and then turn on the light bulb, there might be no light coming into the room. If you make a little pinhole in the duct tape, you get a little stream of light going out in one direction. But if you begin peeling away the tape, you get more and more light going in wider directions. If you take the duct tape off entirely, then the light shines out in 360 degrees, all the way around.

If our awareness, our capacity to know and be present, is a little bit like the light—we turn on our capacity to see, turn on the capacity to be aware—but we have something that we're caught up in and preoccupied with, it's like the light can't shine or can't be open fully in all directions. If we're completely lost in fantasy or lost in distracted thought, it's almost as if the duct tape is completely surrounding the light, and the light is only there for itself. It's self-absorbed in a certain way, and all the light is bouncing on the inside of the bulb.

But as we meditate, we learn and appreciate how limited it is to be caught up in preoccupations and thoughts. Even if those thoughts are grand in nature and have phenomenal, wonderful fantasies of traveling around the world everywhere, it's still inward-directed. As we begin to let go of our thoughts and let go of our preoccupations, there is slowly and steadily an opening up of the light, an opening up of our vision, our capacity to see. At some point, the difference really becomes clear between having it wide open with all the duct tape off, and when we start covering it again. That movement of, "Oh, now it's gotten narrow, it's gotten contracted, it's become even self-absorbed"—that doesn't feel so good. It felt really nice to have the awareness uncontracted, unlimited.

We might still focus on a particular thing, like the breathing, but we do so without there being a tightening and narrowing. Rather than the attention getting focused in a tight way, it gets focused in an open way. It's kind of like the open palm of the hand. One of the most sensitive parts of the hand is right here at the center of it. If we get tight and focused, we don't avail ourselves of the most sensitive part. But if we're really relaxed and open, then the sensitive part meets our experience, our breathing.

This is an effort to use analogies to emphasize the sensitivity and care in letting our awareness be open, wide, and relaxed. Let it be uncontracted, untight, and unlimited—unlimited in a sense by the restrictions we put on it by our desires, our clinging, and our aversions that get hyper-focused. If that made sense to you, then we can practice that. If it doesn't make so much sense, you don't have to worry about it too much or at all.

Assuming a meditation posture that is relaxed and open. With the chest maybe a little open...

Gently closing the eyes and taking a few long, slow, deep breaths. As you exhale, maybe there can be a relaxation, the kind of relaxation that a flower has when it opens its petals from being a tight bud to being an open flower. So, relax, exhale, and let things open up.

On the exhale, relaxing the belly. Relaxing the chest. Softening the shoulders. Softening the face. Breathing normally.

Imagine that you're turning on the light of awareness so that it shines 360 degrees in all directions. At the center of that is a sensitive spot that's there to meet the experience of the body breathing.

Breathing in and breathing out.

Being intimate with breathing, but without contracting or getting tight with awareness. Without the mind bearing down or tightening up. This kind of intimate sensitivity is often associated with being receptive. Open, receptive to all things, but with the center of awareness receiving breathing in and breathing out.

Perhaps as you get caught up in thoughts or fantasies, you can feel how you lose that openness, lose a spaciousness, or lose a receptivity. Without being critical of that, relax and receive again. Open again.

Breathing in and breathing out.

Are you absorbed in thought so the light of awareness is obscured?

What is it like to let go of your thoughts, so that the light of awareness is on 360 degrees? Very open, present, with its sensitive center centered on the breathing.

And then as we come to the end of the sitting, perhaps consider how, as we become more aware, more present, more open to our experience, there is a place within of sensitivity and heightened awareness, sometimes associated with a tenderness. A place that is receptive. To meet the world with this receptivity, this tenderness, this sensitivity—this is a way that we evoke the sentiments of care, caregiving, respect, and goodwill for others.

Let's end the sitting with some orientation to look upon others, to be ready to be present with others from a place of receptivity, care, and tenderness. That inspires or reminds us of our capacity to love others, to be friendly, kind, and compassionate. May it be that through this meditation practice, we are developing more and more capacity to gaze upon the world kindly, to become a friend of the world, a friend of others.

In our friendship with all beings, may we wish for the happiness of others. For their safety and their health. For their peace and their freedom. With our friendly disposition, may each of us, in our own way and appropriate for each of us, contribute to the welfare and happiness of all beings.

May all beings be happy. May all beings be free. May all beings everywhere have their hearts settled and at peace.

Caring for Self and Others

Good day everyone. As an announcement before the talk, we're getting to the point where IMC is seriously considering opening our physical doors so people can come here together and meditate and engage in the dharma. We were planning to open in a week from today, on August 1st. I think it's prudent for us to delay that opening and continue online the way we have.

Part of the reason for that is this Delta variant that is spreading. We don't quite understand the implications of it and the impact it has—the degree to which even people who have been vaccinated can be asymptomatic carriers of it. What does it mean for us to come together here in somewhat close confines as the Delta variant is still growing? Cases are growing here in our county in California, and I think the prudent thing to do is to wait.

Ideally, we would wait until the local county health department rescinds the request that even vaccinated people coming together indoors would wear masks. I don't know if that's the standard we want to keep, but at least for now that's the request. With the Delta variant, I think it's just better to wait. So I think we'll just keep it open, or undefined, when we'll open. We will probably have at least a week's notice so we can announce it here and on our other online offerings. We'll also update the calendar and the IMC website about what's happening. Hopefully, to keep track of these things, those of you who are interested in coming locally and being here in person will know.

All of us have gone through many months now of this pandemic, this COVID-19 era. When it first started here and we went into shelter-in-place in California back in March or April, I gave a talk about this being a time for a retreat. The shelter-in-place was kind of like a retreat, and many of the dynamics and patterns that happen on retreat would probably unfold for people on this enforced retreat. Now we're coming to a different phase of it. It's not clear exactly what phase. It's premature to say that we're completely open again and it's over here in California. In parts of the country, and definitely parts of the world, it's raging and surging, and there is tremendous suffering that's continuing with this virus.

To have some reflection: What are the lessons from this? How do we grow and develop under the impact of this powerful event that's happening to us all? That little bit inspires this talk today. Before I specify what the theme is, I want to say that one of the first things that really impressed me about the circumstance of the beginning of the pandemic, the beginning of shelter-in-place, is that the same behavior on the outside can look exactly the same but have different motivations. It could be behavior where the main motivation is for individuals to protect themselves, or the exact same behavior could be to protect others.

What I mean by that is that we're all subject to maybe getting sick from the virus. We might want to stay away from people who have the virus, we want to shelter in place, we might want to live apart. That's what many of us have done now for many months, living somewhat isolated existences. It can be motivated by protecting oneself. However, all of us are capable of being a vector for it, a transmitter of the illness. We know that people can have the virus and be asymptomatic. They have no idea that they're carrying it; they're just walking transmitters. One way to protect people—our neighbors, our friends, our family, and others—is to not walk into public, not walk into their situation. We don't go to a wedding, we don't visit grandchildren or grandparents, we don't go into places where we might be a transmitter.

Both behaviors look exactly the same. What struck me at the beginning of the pandemic is that if we were motivated by care for others, rather than only protecting ourselves, caring for others is really good for the heart. It's a wonderful kind of medicine and support. There's a kind of a radiance or goodness that comes from that.

Of course, protecting ourselves is not wrong, and some people have a higher need to do that than others for many different reasons. That needs to be the focus. But even there, it's possible to both protect oneself and, at the same time, do it for the sake of protecting others. This idea of being able to do both means we don't have to choose one or the other.

That's the theme of what I'd like to say here: Buddhist practice is a practice that I hope—I've very much staked my career in practice and teaching on this—that as we develop in the practice, it becomes a natural thing to want to care for others. To be friendly, to be supportive, to live in a world of suffering in a compassionate way. Not to do it in a way that is oppressive or stressful, but from the abundance of the heart. From a sense of peacefulness, openness, the heightened 360-degree radiance of awareness, and the heart of compassion that meets the world with sensitivity and responds to it.

This is an integral part of Buddhist practice: growing to become someone who will live for the welfare and happiness of others. How it's done is particular to each person. For some people, it's caring for their family and neighbors. For some people, it's offering whatever they have that brings joy and happiness to the world. For some, it's being actively involved in service roles, helping others. Some people are activists involved in social action, and some are involved in humanitarian efforts. There is a whole range of things that people will choose. A lot depends on their karma, their disposition, and their circumstances as to what's the right way. But it's always about having a heart that cares for the world.

After the Buddha was first awakened, soon thereafter he set forth out into the world to teach what he had learned. After some period, he had gathered around him 60 people who had been transformed by his teachings and the practices he taught. They became fully enlightened, fully liberated. At that point, he told them—this is a passage that's quoted often, it's quite beautiful—he gave them their final instruction. After all the instructions and all the practice, they all end up here. That final instruction is to go forth for the welfare of the world, the welfare of beings. Go forth for the happiness of this world of beings. Go forth out of care for this world of beings and people. Let no two of you go in the same direction. Spread out, and practice and teach for the welfare and happiness of all people and all gods.

The word "gods" here (sometimes the word deva^[1]) could mean kings. So go forth for the welfare of all beings—ordinary humans and those who are in ruling positions, who sometimes need greater remedial support for learning how to be free and really understanding what freedom from suffering really is.

I love this little passage, that the instructions are to go forth for the welfare and happiness of the world. That's like the North Star of what Buddhist practice is aiming towards. These are the final instructions.

If we go to a whole different set of teachings, which also emphasizes this care for others and care for oneself, we find the Buddha's teachings to his son. He had a son who spent much of his time growing up under the guidance of his father, from about the age of seven onwards. At some point, the Buddha gave him instructions that some people might see as child-appropriate teachings because they are so simple and to the heart of the matter. But it may be easier to understand all the rest of Buddhism as an expansion of this particular teaching.

The way the story is told, his young son—maybe seven, eight, or nine years old—was caught telling a lie. The Buddha addresses him about this and says that if someone on the spiritual path tells a lie, it undermines the value of their practice. It empties the reservoirs of goodness or dharma inside of a person that would allow them to grow and develop. He uses a little bit of strong language, stating that someone who's on the path should never lie.

After he does that, he says this: "What's the purpose of a mirror?"

His son says, "Oh, the purpose of a mirror is for reflection, to see yourself in the mirror."

The Buddha said, "In the same way, the dharma is like a mirror. The purpose is to see yourself and to reflect on yourself more clearly. This is how you do it: before you say something, before you do something, and before you intentionally think about something, you should reflect. You should take a good look at yourself with these criteria. Is what I'm about to say going to cause affliction? Will it cause harm to yourself, to others, or to both self and others? If you say it, if you do it, or even if you think it, will it cause harm? If it does, don't do it. If it doesn't cause harm, if it's for the benefit of others, then please go ahead and do it."

While you're doing something, saying something, or even while you're reflecting and thinking about something, also use that dharma mirror. Look at yourself and ask the question: "As I'm doing this, is it for my own harm, for the harm of others, or for the harm of both self and others?" If it's harmful, stop doing it. If it's not harmful, if it's for the benefit of others and self, then keep doing it.

And then he says: after you've done something, after you've said something, after you've finished some action, or after you've spent some time thinking about someone or something, you should also use a dharma mirror to be reflective. Questioning yourself, looking at yourself, considering the impact and consequences of your behavior. Did it cause harm to yourself? Did it cause harm to others? Did it cause harm to both self and others?

If it did, then go find someone that you respect a lot—the ancient language says a "wise person"—find a wise person and let them know. The alchemy, the chemistry of the inner life, is such that if you've caused harm, making it acknowledged in the presence of someone else changes your inner relationship to it all. It's easier for you to not succumb to the same thing again. If you're accountable in some healthy way, and you share it with someone else rather than keeping it private or making it public to everyone, you're a little bit more accountable to that person and to yourself. It's a fuller recognition that creates the conditions making you more likely to be careful in the future. So the Buddha said, go tell someone.

But if after you've done something, it has not been harmful to anyone—self or others—and has been beneficial, then just go about your business happily. That's great.

What we find here in teaching his son when his son was just a kid, which is like the most beginning level of dharma practice and teaching, is an emphasis on the concern of being careful for the welfare of others. To not cause harm in the world to anyone, including oneself. It wasn't only about not harming oneself or only doing things beneficial for oneself. It's an equal concern for self, for others, and then this third category: self and others. I understand that to include "we" as a community, as a group, as a dynamic of people who work together, the relationship between us.

In these two examples, we see how integral it is to the teachings of the Buddha: the concern for the welfare and well-being of others, and the concern with not causing harm to others and to ourselves. From the beginning instructions to the final instructions to "go forth for the welfare of others," we see over and over again that we come back to this idea. Maturing in dharma practice has a lot to do with how we care for others.

With the example that inspired me at the beginning of the pandemic, perhaps we also begin discovering a way of having this care, sensitivity, and carefulness for the welfare of others—to not cause harm—that doesn't feel punitive. It doesn't feel constricting; it doesn't feel limiting. Actually, it's the opposite. As we go forward and consider others, we're doing so from this openness, this inclusiveness. This unconstricted, unlimited place, where our concerns are not narrowed and tight, but come out of an openness, a wideness, and a receptivity all the way around.

When we're excessively concerned with ourselves, our own well-being, protecting ourselves, or benefiting ourselves—as I said earlier, sometimes that's completely appropriate and necessary and should be appreciated as such. But human beings also have a tremendous capacity for being selfish, for having conceit. When that happens, the self-concern feels like a narrowing, a tightening, a shutting down.

This is one of the great advantages of meditation. We can have an experiential, felt-sense experience of what it feels like to start closing down, constricting, tightening. The tension and the stress of selfishness, the tension and stress of conceit, of excessive self-preoccupation. And a felt-sense experience that when we open up, there's a way of caring for the world that is the absence of stress, the absence of tension. It feels like it has a rightness to it, a nourishing quality to it, a freedom to it, even if the suffering we're encountering in the world is quite uncomfortable.

Inherent in dharma practice is a learning, perhaps a slow learning, of the disadvantages of shutting down, closing down, or having very strong, divisive boundaries between self and others. That is actually harmful to oneself and leads to easy ways of harming others. Those boundaries begin to dissolve, to soften, to open. It isn't that the boundaries between self and other completely disappear exactly. That distinction doesn't completely disappear. But it becomes one where there's a sensitivity, openness, and intimacy without this strong reference to "me, myself, and I here." There is openness, relaxation, and freedom.

Then there is one more teaching of the Buddha around this. I think it's a very important topic to think carefully about. The Buddha gave teachings about four different ways in which people might orient themselves towards others or to benefiting others. The first one is to have no interest in the welfare of either oneself or others. The second is to be interested in the welfare and happiness of others, but not oneself. The third is to be concerned for the welfare and happiness of oneself, but not be involved in benefiting others. And the fourth is to be concerned for the welfare and happiness of oneself, of others, and of the whole world.

He goes on to say that the last of these is the foremost, it is the best. He says it's kind of like if you take milk, it gets curdled into curds, and then from the curds you can make ghee, and from ghee you can get the cream of the ghee—the best parts of the ghee if you separate it. At least the translation that I have says that finally you get to the cream of the ghee. The last category, the person who is concerned for both self and the whole world, is the equivalent of the "cream of the ghee" kind of person, the foremost person.

What's interesting is that there's a hierarchy between these, and where caring only for others or caring only for ourselves fits into these categories is fascinating. The second best is to care for oneself without caring for others. The third best is caring for others, but not oneself.

I think this is a little bit jarring. It was a little bit jarring for me when I first saw it, and it's jarring for some people because sometimes there's a message that we should really care about others first before ourselves. We shouldn't be selfish, and caring for others is really the highest kind of virtue we can have. But in the Buddhist analysis, if we care for others before we have developed ourselves—developed our own capacity and understanding of liberation, of freedom—before we've freed ourselves of some of our capacity for attachments, clinging, hostility, irritation, cynicism, and resentment, then it's all too easy to cause harm when we're involved in supporting other people.

But if we practice for our own benefit first, then we learn at some point what the highest benefit is. We learn what the human capacity is for real, deep, thoroughgoing, fully embodied, heartfelt well-being, peace, and happiness. That's what the dharma is moving towards. Then, when we want to support and help others, we have a reference point of how deeply and fully this is possible for people. We can point to that, we can support that, or we have a North Star of what we're trying to do for them. But the best of it all is if we live our lives caring for ourselves, caring for others, and caring for the whole world.

So here we see three different examples of the Buddhist teachings where caring for the world is integral to it. In the example I told first, about sending fully mature people off to care for the world, the idea is that when you're fully liberated, you've experienced for yourself the best possible way of living in this world, the greatest happiness, the greatest peace. There's no need to focus on oneself in the same way anymore to attain what's already been attained. What's next is to care for others. Whether one is beginning in practice, in the middle of practice, or at the end of the whole cycle of practice, in the Buddhist teachings, this inclusion of the well-being of others is important.

In the beginning teachings to his son, there is tremendous care about the consequences of our actions. What is the impact that how we live has on the world around us? One of the things that the coronavirus teaches us is that that impact might be invisible to us. With how we buy consumer goods, we don't see the impact on the people who mine the resources. We don't see the impact on the countries and the peoples who made it in sweatshops or factories. We don't see the impact in pollution and the environment in the communities that are impacted by that. To be concerned about the impact and consequence of our actions on others can also start to involve a care and sensitivity to the unseen ways that we impact the world.

It would be nice if we could live in the world without any harm caused to this world, both seen and unseen, known and unknown. What a great thing it would be. And what a great thing it is to meet people and know there are people in this world who are living with this kind of care and this kind of sensitivity because they're free. Because they have matured and developed, and they know how to do this in a way that nourishes the best in our hearts.

As we come to this phase of the pandemic, I think it's a wonderful time to reflect a little bit about how beneficial it is for self and for others to include in our practice the welfare and happiness of others as well.

Thank you very much.