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Happy Hour: Letting Go Into Peace

Hello, and formally welcome to this edition of Happy Hour.

For today's practice, my invitation is to explore letting go. Letting go as a way to make space. To make space for more peace, for more love, for more space within. Letting go of what is not necessary in the moment, what is extra. And there is so much extra often, both internally and externally. Internally, there are often many thoughts, many judgments, criticisms—"you should do this, you shouldn't do that"—just all extra. So much reactivity is just extra. It's not needed. What is extra, can it be simply put down?

For that, we need to notice it with mindfulness, with awareness, and simply put it down. By putting it down, then we can notice, "Oh, there's more space for silence, for peace, for goodness, for love, for care, for nurturing, for nourishment." So making space for love. Making space for love by letting go.

Before we start, I'd like to share a quote by Ajahn Sumedho^[1]. The quote is a longish one and a funny one. I'll paste the resource here, and thank you, Neil, for finding it later and sharing it with the Sangha^[2] in the Google groups.

Ajahn Sumedho, who is a monastic in the Theravada^[3] tradition in the Ajahn Chah^[4] forest practice, says:

"The practice of letting go is very effective for minds obsessed by compulsive thinking. You simplify your meditation practice down to just two words: letting go. Rather than try to develop this practice and then develop that, and achieve this and go into that, and understand this, and read the suttas^[5], and study the Abhidhamma^[6], and then learn Pali^[7] and Sanskrit, then the Madhyamika^[8], get ordination in the Hinayana^[9], Mahayana^[10], Vajrayana^[11], write books, become a world-renowned authority on Buddhism... Instead of becoming the world's expert on Buddhism and being invited to great international Buddhist conferences, just let go, let go, let go.

I did nothing but this for about two years. Every time I tried to understand or figure things out, I'd say, 'let go, let go,' until the desire would fade out. So I'm making it very simple for you to save you from getting caught in incredible amounts of suffering. There is nothing more sorrowful than having to attend international Buddhist conferences. Some of you might have the desire to become the Buddha of the age, Maitreya^[12], radiating love through the world, but instead, I suggest just being an earthworm. Letting go of the desire to radiate love throughout the world, just be an earthworm who knows only two words: let go, let go, let go. You see, ours is the lesser vehicle, the Hinayana, so we only have these simple poverty-stricken practices."

[Laughter] It definitely has a sense of humor.

So, let go. We'll practice a simple practice of letting go, making space. Making space for peace, ease, love. Letting go of whatever is extra. Keeping it simple tonight.

Guided Meditation

With that, I'd like to invite you to get into a meditation posture, whatever is comfortable, supportive, nourishing for you in this moment, sitting or lying down.

Letting go. Letting go of whatever is extra, whatever is not needed.

Letting go of any tension you're holding in your head, and your forehead. Your face. Behind the eyes.

Letting go of any tension in your jaw. Muscles of the face, releasing what is extra, what's not needed.

Letting go.

Inviting to be let go of any tension in your chest. Let's go back to the neck and shoulders. Yes, neck and shoulders. Releasing.

Releasing the arms, the hands. Letting go of their weight. Letting gravity support, pull down the arms and hands.

Releasing any tension in the chest. Inviting your heart to relax. Heart center, the proverbial space of emotions.

Releasing any tension, tightness in the belly. Lower abdomen, sit bones, releasing tightness.

Letting go.

Any holding in the upper legs, knees, lower legs, and feet. Letting gravity support the entire weight of the legs, the sit bones.

Letting the body be breathed naturally on its own with each breath.

Letting go of whatever is extra in this moment. The tension in the body, tightness, any muscles, extra, not needed.

The natural state of this human body, heart, and mind is of profound peace, clarity.

And if thoughts, preoccupations, anything that comes up that's not needed in this moment is giving—as you give yourself wholeheartedly to this practice—notice what's there. Is this needed right now? Is this really needed right now? Is this needed at all? Simply let go.

Then notice what opens up. What happens when letting go, when something is let go of? Then turn your awareness to the space and the heart, mind, and body that opens up. Notice if there's more peace, more freedom, more ease, more space to love, to be, to care, to be still.

Self-care, self-love in the stillness.

Mindfully notice what's extra. Let go and notice what opens up, mindfully. What is here when what is extra, not needed, is let go of? Very simple practice. Foundation for more peace, self-care, and love.

And if hindrances arise—of restlessness, or boredom, or sensual desire, or ill will^[13], or doubt—can they simply be noticed as extra, heavy, not needed? Can they simply be let go?

Returning to the body and the breath. Letting go of what's not needed, what's extra.

Letting go again and again. Patiently, joyfully, gladly. Simply, lovingly. Not throwing anything away with hatred or ill will, but releasing, releasing. Releasing, letting it fly away. Feeling lighter upon the release.

As if you're opening a door, a window, letting a bird fly away that was previously inside, thrashing about, confined in your mind and your heart. Open the door, the window, release, let it go.

And as we approach the end of this practice session together, if any judgments, any thoughts arise of self-criticism, mindfully see them clearly. They are not needed, they are extra. They are really extra bumping inside. Open the door, window, let them fly away. They're not needed. Thank you, you showed up, you've done your best.

May we all taste the peace, the ease, the freedom of letting go. May all beings everywhere be free.

Thanks everyone. Thanks for your practice.

Q&A and Reflections

What a lovely practice to let go of what's extra, what's not needed. So much we realize is extra, not needed.

I will change the settings now in the chat. You're welcome to type in the chat your reflections, your questions, your discoveries. Share them with the Sangha. If you share them with me alone, I won't read your name, it'll be private. If it's the Sangha, I'll read your name. You can also raise your Zoom hand, your physical hand I may not see.

Marie Christine says, "Simple and yet so powerful." Yeah, powerful indeed. Would you like to say more, Marie Christine? Yes or no, you can shake your head, I'm seeing you. Yes, that's it. Okay, I'll ask you to unmute yourself.

Marie Christine: I suppose powerful in the sense of the impact it can have on one's well-being, whether physical and mental. So something that seems so little can be so transformative.

Nikki: Yes, yes, exactly. Absolutely right. It's a little practice that could. And as you say this, I want to emphasize and really appreciate, highlight what you're saying regarding the power of this seemingly simple practice of letting go. Because it is a liberative practice, it's a practice that leads to freedom.

What can I say without getting too technical? It seems a very simple practice. It seems like a beginner's practice almost, and yet there are stages in practice—very deep meditative, I'll say advanced stages of insight practice—where actually the technique of letting go is what unbinds. It unbinds the remaining attachments and leads to a profound opening, this state of freedom. It's the very movement of the mind. I hope that makes sense.

Marie Christine: It feels like it undoes me or you from the addictive behavior, from the addiction in a way, of doing things in a particular way and thinking in a particular way.

Nikki: Yeah, exactly. It's so powerful. It makes so much space for what's good and wholesome. Thanks for underlining that it's simple yet so powerful. Thank you, Marie Christine.

Any other reflections, observations? Do you notice complaints, questions? Anything?

Participant: Hello. What I have heard is we can't let go. It's like we think we are in control of that, but I think if we just set intention, you know, a good intention or aspiration to let go, that it goes on its own. So if we are in control, it is a couple steps removed or quite a few steps. If you ever try to go, "let go, let go," the more you try, try, try, the farther you are from actually doing it.

Nikki: Yeah, thanks for raising that. So there are a couple of different things here actually, and I appreciate you raising that because when I teach I bring up both. So there is this idea of setting the intention to let go, and yet there is this movement of the mind that does let go. And yet there are times... the letting go is actually a practice for the simple movements of the mind.

And yet sometimes there are things, for example, resentments. Say you want to forgive and you don't want to have the resentment or the upset or the anger. If you try to let go in that way, sometimes actually you get yourself kind of tied up even more and more. So there is a wisdom to know the difference between the two. As Ajahn Sumedho points out in this simple yet powerful practice, there is a wisdom in not just setting the intention but actually practicing letting go. Because the mind can't just let go, we can't just say, "Oh, we can't let go," and it's not possible.

There are some movements in the mind that you can actually feel. It's subtle but you can see it and feel it. This thing that was heavy is let go of. You set the intention, and it is let go of. There's lightness, brightness, and ease. And yet there are times when you set the intention, you try to let go, you offer the practice as in the words of Ajahn Sumedho, "Let go, let go," and yet it's tied in place.

So instead of beating yourself up, realize those times that it is not so much a doing, but it's a non-doing. So the practice can feel a little quizzical or perhaps non-dual in some ways. You're both doing the letting go and you're not doing the letting go. So I think both aspects of the practice are important to be held, not to say it's just one or the other.

Stephanie says, "Hello all. I was trying to let go of stories around strong physical sensations and to just be with the powerful sensations." Lovely, lovely. That is beautiful, yeah. Letting go of the stories and just being with the sensations. Nice, great, beautiful.

I'd love to hear more from you, Stephanie, and I do see Anthony's hand. So let's hold those two comments for when we come back from small groups because I want to make sure we have enough time for those. Let's practice letting go of being in the big community, in the big room, and move to smaller groups where we will practice together.

In groups of three or four, let's start with 15 seconds of silent metta^[14] for one another, and then share as little or as much as you'd like to share about this practice and how it was for you. So I will open the rooms now and we'll come back with some time at the end for reflections.

(Break for small groups)

Welcome back. So we have a few minutes, and yes, Anthony had his hand up, and it'd be nice to hear more from Stephanie if she wants to share more. It's okay if not. So Anthony, please.

Anthony: Yes, thank you Nikki. I'm actually going to change what I'm going to say. From the group meeting, one of the group members mentioned something that really connected with me about how she had some aches in her upper back or something like that, and then she let go. And then that just brought up to me that, wow, that's so amazing. I literally thought that's the best way to connect with letting go is our bodies, you know? Because we usually have some kind of tension going on somewhere, contraction, and it's easy to connect with the body and to let go. I just wanted to bring that up.

Nikki: Yeah, fantastic. Thanks for bringing that up. Great. And Stephanie, if you'd like to share, you are welcome to, and if not that's okay too. We'll open it up for you.

Stephanie: Hi. Yeah, so in the group we kind of continued on that theme a little bit and how when you drop what you're thinking, you are left with body, that's it. And sometimes it's really intense, and that's pretty much it.

Nikki: Yeah, that's a great observation. When you let go of the busyness of the mind, you come actually—that's very profound—you come to the body. Oh sweet, dear body, I've forsaken you. You're exhausted, you're tired. I've been so busy in my thoughts that I haven't even noticed to care for you. Yeah, exactly. So common. Thanks for bringing that in. Such excellent points, really such beautiful points in practice.

So dear ones, we have come to the end of our time together. Thank you so much for your practice, for coming to Happy Hour to cultivate your heart for your own sake and the sake of everyone whom you meet. So may all beings be happy, may all beings be free, including ourselves.

Thank you.