This is an AI-generated transcript from auto-generated subtitles for the video above. It likely contains inaccuracies, especially with speaker attribution if there are multiple speakers.

Happy Hour: We Can Choose A Wise Perspective

Hello and welcome, friends. Lovely to be with you in this moment in time. I've missed you earlier this week, and I know you've been in good hands with others.

For today's practice, what I'd like to invite us to explore is finding our place. Finding our place, in some ways, seems like it's personal. Yes, it is personal—finding our place, finding our home in our hearts. And yet, it's our place. It's the sense of not just being in my own small world: "me, me, me, all about me." As we know, when we fall into our own difficulties, challenges, maybe physical pain, aging, whatever it might be, the world becomes kind of small and the heart feels tightened. Maybe a sense of pity even arises: "poor me, poor me."

It's all a matter of perspective. The same issues, the same matters, seen from a different perspective. As we see our place, as we find our place in the midst of this amazing life, this amazing interconnected humanity, we open up to our condition and everybody else's condition. Holding it up with awe, with amazement, with a lack of expectation. There is so much that can shift in our expectation. Maybe gratitude arises, maybe joy arises. It's a matter of finding our place with shifts of perspective, where every shift of perspective is helpful and supportive.

I'll give you one example. Recently, someone that I care about went through an operation, and they've been in a lot of physical pain, which is completely normal after the operation. Another person who cares about them was so unhappy, depressed, and sad: "Oh, this beloved person is in pain after the operation."

The reframe that I offered this dear person, who was really in grief thinking about the pain, was: "Gosh, if this person's operation had been unsuccessful, and say all the nerves were cut and they had no sensations, if they had become a paraplegic, wouldn't you give anything you had to transform this situation so that they would feel pain right now?" So, yay! This sign of pain in this particular situation is actually a good sign.

What are some reframes? What are some ways that we can see our situation as a gift in disguise? Because the opposite would be so much worse. I trust there are so many examples you have in your own life.

For example, if a pipe burst in your home and there was water leaking everywhere, you would be very upset. But then what if you think, "Wait, this could be sewage. I'm so glad it's not the sewage pipe that broke, it's just fresh water that broke!" Yay, totally fresh water that has broken the pipe, right? It's an instantaneous shift in perspective. It's still the same situation—a pipe has broken—and yet our perspective shifts.

These are all wise perspectives. In fact, number one on the Eightfold Path^[1] is wise perspective, or Right View. There are many, many ways to consider what a wise perspective is. Appreciating that everything is impermanent^[2] is a wise perspective. Realizing it's not personal, it's not about "me"—opening up from the prison of "me, me, me" to a bigger perspective of care and love for ourselves and others. As well as understanding unsatisfactoriness, or dukkha^[3]. Things will be satisfactory, perhaps wonderful for a period of time, and then they will shift and change.

How can we shift our perspectives? I think I've said plenty. I'm going to pause now. I think that's enough framing just to get us out of whatever perspective might have been challenging. Let's open it up. Let's practice together. Let's meditate together, friends.

Guided Meditation

Arriving. Arriving in your seat, whether you're sitting, you're lying down. Whatever this body needs in this moment to feel supported in this impermanent moment in life. This precious moment of this life. This heart, this mind, this body breathing.

Letting go. Letting go of all the words, letting go of all the thoughts, concerns. Letting yourself be simple in this moment.

Can this body release? Can the body relax? As the body releases and relaxes, the mind tends to release and relax. So see if there's any tightness, any holding in your body. Gently, kindly, offer it up.

Letting the breath breathe you. The body knows how to breathe, how to be breathed. Not to make breathing into a project. Letting it happen. In-breath, out-breath. Let it be enjoyable.

Thoughts arise as they will inevitably do. Not a problem, not a mistake. Clearly seeing what thoughts have arisen, and then releasing. This moment is to release any thoughts, perspectives that are not helpful for the benefit of this cultivation.

Feeling the connection. The feet on earth. The sit bones contacting the cushion, the seat. Your hands touching each other or your lap. The breath moving through the whole body, received in the lower abdomen.

Here. Just this breath. The entirety of the breath. Calming, soothing, nourishing. Just this is enough.

Letting go, releasing. Releasing whatever is not helpful, is not supportive in this moment.

And now I'd like to invite you with care, with kindness, with metta^[4], before this being who is you. This being who suffers. This being who has high intentions for goodness, for cultivation values. This being who is you, who cares for others. A sense of dedication, love. Kindling, rekindling the sense of kindness, warmth, care for this being who is you.

As if you were your own wise friend, a wise and loving friend. As if you're stepping out of yourself with a sense of wisdom and compassion for yourself. Or if it's easier, you can imagine some other being whom you consider to be wise and compassionate. It could be the Buddha, Kuan Yin^[5], another human being. Holding you with care, with love, with unconditional acceptance. Letting yourself be held before we proceed.

And now see yourself with this dear friend. It might be yourself, or the Buddha, Kuan Yin, the dear being symbolizing compassion and wisdom. As you're held with kindness and care, maybe you bring up something that you are upset about or challenged by. Let me share this with this compassionate, wise being.

Imagine them listening with care, with compassion, wisdom. Really listening, really holding space. As you describe, they give you their complete attention, non-judgmental attention.

Maybe what is needed is just for them to hold whatever you shared with them with compassion, with kindness. Letting yourself and whatever you brought up to be held. Yes, it's not easy. Yes.

And now if it feels appropriate—not necessary, but if it feels appropriate—maybe you invite your wise, compassionate being to help open your eyes to a different perspective regarding what is happening for you that is difficult or challenging. Maybe they have a wise and wide perspective, a spacious perspective about what is happening. They allow you to see it. They invite you to see what's happening from a different perspective. Let yourself be surprised.

And when perhaps this different, surprising perspective has been offered to you, notice what arises in you, in your heart. Surprise, gladness, appreciation, gratitude, equanimity. And can you rest with that? Can you rest with this breathing in and out with the sense of goodness that might have opened up?

Trust. Trust your inner wisdom symbolized by your wise, compassionate being.

Maybe gratitude arises for this moment. Feeling okay enough in this moment. Just this moment, can it be enough as it is? In fact, plenty. A gift of grace as it is.

Here, just here, this moment. Letting yourself be held in kindness, with care, with metta.

May I be safe from inner and outer harm. May I be happy and joyful. May I be healthy and strong. May my life flow with ease.

Let yourself rest with kindness, with metta, or this wise perspective that has been opened up to you. Opening up the sense of gratitude and appreciation for what is, even if it's challenging. What would you do, what would you give, if things were different? What is this challenge signifying that's actually a blessing? It's a pain in your body that actually means your nervous system is working and you can feel pain. That you're alive.

And for the last moments of this practice period, letting whatever arose or did not arise be just as it is, without judgment, needing it to be different. Offering kindness, wisdom, equanimity to ourselves for this period of practice. And trusting that there is kindness, goodness generated, and offering it freely, generously to all beings everywhere, including ourselves.

May all beings everywhere be safe, happy, healthy, and joyous. May all beings everywhere be free from suffering and the causes of suffering, especially those in war zones. May all beings be free.

Thank you for your practice, everyone.

Reflections and Q&A

So we have a few minutes for any reflections, any aha moments, any questions, anything that came up for you that you'd like to share and offer the sangha^[6] for your own benefit and the benefit of others. You can type in the chat.

What did you notice, especially with the invitation for the wise being to show you a different way to see what might be challenging or difficult? Was it surprising? Did it surprise you finding your place?

Mary: Hi, thank you. This is kind of a very simple question. I think at one point I heard you say "offer it up." I was raised Catholic, and "offer it up" in my culture meant you should keep suffering. So I know you meant something different.

Nikki: I did. Help me understand, so in your culture offering it up means accepting suffering?

Mary: Well, I'm sure it was twisted, but it was sort of like, especially for girls and women, that's your lot in life, accept it. This is what God's giving you, offer it up.

Nikki: Oh, I see. I hear it differently. Thanks for bringing that up, Mary. So the way that I see "offering it up"—I have this image, this vision of our practice, our being, our existence, with so much beauty and sacredness, and the world as sacred. There is this altar, and our practice, what we do, we're offering it up. We're putting it on an altar of humanity. We're offering up even our suffering as a gift. It's just like everything we are. Here is my practice: my mind was distracted, but I offer it, dear humanity, dear universe. Making an offering of ourselves, whatever is going on.

Mary: I love that. Making an offering of ourselves and our efforts.

Nikki: Our efforts, our commitment, of ourselves. This might be surprising or not make sense, so I'll leave this for later reflection, but even our joy we offer to the world, right? Our joy is an offering. So is our suffering—not in the way of "oh, I'm just going to suffer so well, I'm going to carry it"—but there can be a sense of beauty. There can be a sense of grace. Yet this is what I'm going through right now, dear humanity, this is what I'm going through right now. It's subtle. It's a sense of sharing, a sense of offering. Making an offering of all of ourselves: the bright, the light, the shadow, all the challenges. Thank you, Mary.

Since I don't see any other hands raised or reflections in chat, I'll talk about relating and connecting in sangha together with other human beings. This is where our practice meets the road.

Of course, a lot of times we consider practice to be private and internal, but it isn't. Our practice is so relational. We cultivate all this not just to have internal peace in our minds, but to also, as we were just talking with Mary earlier, offer the best of ourselves to others, to the world, to be this vessel of stability, equanimity, love, and care.

[Nikki creates breakout rooms for small group sharing.]

The rooms are closed, everybody's back. What did you notice with this practice? Any ahas you'd like to share for the benefit of yourself and others? Was there a shift in perspective for anyone? Yes, Deborah.

Deborah: I think it really helped me to look at it as the reframe, and to just know that I'm where I am today. I don't like it, but I know that I'll be somewhere else tomorrow, and I'm just offering it up. It's kind of like taking your temperature and realizing that, well, I've come a ways with my practice because I realize it's okay to be this way. There's no right way. I'm not going to just sit here joyful all the time.

Nikki: Yes, exactly. Thank you, Deborah. What a beautiful insight. It's okay, it's the human condition. We're not always joyful all the time. We have a body, I mean, hello! [Laughter]

Deborah: But the realization is important because, you know, we don't want to think "I'm going to be here for the next 20 years," this would not be fun. [Laughter]

Nikki: The truth of impermanence^[2:1] is on your side, Deborah. Everything changes. Of course it changes, it's never going to stay the same. It's the truth of impermanence, we just have to see it over and over and over again as it becomes internalized, as you're saying. This is temporary. I may not like it, okay. It's like that saying: if you don't like the weather in London, just wait five minutes. If you don't like the internal weather, just wait, the conditions are going to change. It's all impermanent. Beautiful, thank you for that reflection.

So dear ones, we have come to the end of another happy hour practicing together, bringing our hearts and minds together. May all of our practice be a cause and condition for ease, for freedom, for all of us and all beings everywhere. May all beings be free. May all beings be happy.

Thanks everyone.