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Happy Hour: Wholehearted Presence In Just This Moment

Hello and welcome to Happy Hour.

For today's practice, the theme I'd like to invite us to explore and consider is one that can come quite handy and can be supportive, especially when our minds and hearts are really, really busy. Say we sit down to meditate and the idea of, "Oh my goodness, I'm going to meditate. What, for the next 20 minutes, 30 minutes? Are you kidding me?" says the mind, just going all over the place. So it can be particularly handy for those times when there is the busy mind, when there is the thinking Buddha showing up on your cushion at home wherever you're practicing.

Especially for those moments, but it can actually—this theme for tonight, which I haven't introduced yet; I'm setting it up on the edge of your seats—can also be helpful anytime for deepening. For really giving our hearts in any moment of meditation, any moment of exploration, any moment not just in meditation but in life, any endeavor that we are doing, especially one that seems weighty, perhaps.

So what this exploration is tonight, is to just give our complete heart to it, whatever it is. Just in this moment, just this, just this, just this. Just landing in the body, it's a very embodied invitation. Just this, just this, just aware for just this moment. Just loving, cultivating goodwill towards myself or others. Just this moment, just here. It's okay, not reaching towards the future and not blaming ourselves for the past.

So landing, landing our whole body, our whole heart, and just this, just this, just this. Letting go of the future, clinging, wanting, responsibility ("I'll do this," "I dread this," or "Oh, I didn't do it, it was terrible, my mind wandered for the past 29 minutes of this sit"). Just this, just this is perfect. Just this right here is enough. So that's the theme I'd like to invite us to explore together tonight as a tool in your humanity's tool bag, not just meditative.

So let's embark together.

Guided Meditation

I'd like to invite you to land. To land this body in this moment.

Arriving.

Starting with the theme of our exploration from the very beginning. This is all that I'm sure of right here. This magical presence of this present moment, ever so fleeting. Fleeting every moment.

Landing, landing, and giving my heart, my whole body. Landing. Giving it my full presence.

As the expression in English goes, like there is no tomorrow, like there is no next moment, just this.

And if you notice the mind wanders, it's okay. The last moment is gone, no need for judgment, self-flagellation. Just giving your heart. Giving your heart, our attention, our wholeheartedness. Relaxing into just this moment.

And I like to suggest to drop in an idea to explore, to sit with as you're practicing in this way, as if you were taking a dropper of a color and dropping one drop of color into the waters of exploration. This invitation, this drop of color is, as we sit here in practice, not so much consider this a performance. The performative aspect of meditation that we sometimes inadvertently have. But what if this dropper, this idea introduced to our hearts, squeezed into the heart and mind, is this idea of devotion? Wholeheartedly devoting ourselves. Showing up for ourselves, for all beings. Showing up out of love, devotion, in this moment fully. Just this moment. Not the next, not the last.

If our presence is wholehearted, our wholeheartedness is the gift that we put on the altar in this moment. Just this moment.

What if simply collecting our attention, our awareness, our wholehearted presence in this moment... What if this is an utmost act of care? Especially in today's world. An utmost act of care and love to show up fully, wholeheartedly in this moment. For ourselves, for whatever is arising in the sphere of awareness. Just this moment, meeting it fully, kindly. Not the last moment, it's gone. It's okay, letting go. Not judging, planning for the next moments. But a radical dedication to this mystery of time that just shows up right here, right now.

It's always now. Can we meet it? Can we be in it, inhabit it fully in our body? Relaxing into it. The fullness of our humanity in this fleeting, mysterious, amazing moment, with fullness, wholeheartedness, and love.

If there's any discomfort or pain in the body, can I just be with it for this moment? Just this moment. Relaxing around it, into it, with it. Just this much, just here. Can I meet this too?

Or if any emotional pain or sorrow is coming up, physical or emotional, can I just be with it this moment? Meet it right here, right now, not worrying about how I've met it in the past or how long it might last in the future. Just meet it fully, open-heartedly. This moment, is it possible? Can I be with it? Just this moment.

And if there is peace and calm, just greeting it this moment. Not attaching, wanting more. Just landing, relinquishing ourselves, our hearts, in just this moment.

How does your entire body feel in this moment? Not leaving the body behind. This is an embodied practice. The whole body, the breath, embracing this moment. For this moment, embracing the whole body and the breath, which is just here, fully present. Embodied.

Tending this way, in this present moment. Does time feel expansive?

And for the last wholehearted moment of this practice, bowing to yourself with appreciation for having practiced. Even for one split second, having given your heart with presence, without expectation of presence in every moment. Just appreciating that you tried, without judging.

May my heart be free. May my heart know its own goodness. May all beings be free.

Thank you all for your practice.

Reflections and Q&A

So we have time for reflections, questions. You can type them in chat. Just type to me privately, I won't read your name. If it's to everyone, I'll say your name. You can raise your Zoom hand. And appreciation is coming in through YouTube. You are welcome. Thanks for joining, dear YouTube sangha^[1], and practicing.

So many different aspects or dimensions as we explored here can come up. I wanted to reflect on one thing that happened for me, which is very interesting and actually quite lovely. Exploring this way of just this moment showing up and embracing, giving my heart... the sense of time actually shifted. Time became very spacious, as if time dropped away. And well, everything is a concept, everything is empty, including time, and perception of time shifted through this practice. It's just an expansiveness which was very interesting. Just noticing that, playing around with that.

And it could have been also challenging in different ways. This practice, it's more open, our way of showing up is a way of expressing care and love. So I would love to hear questions, complaints, reflections. How was it for you? Let us learn from what happened for you. Terrence^[2]?

Terrence: Okay, you mentioned a couple of times returning to the body. Something around the discomfort that may be associated with the body, and I've been having a lot of bodily discomfort. It doesn't affect the stability of my sitting, but it's uncomfortable. And feeling the way that they wax and wane, coming and going with attention, and then remembering that this is for mental practice, or the compassion practice of course for myself is the most obvious, but I began to sense this pain as somehow being kind of a symptom of the world, or the pain we share. This is something that is very common, we share. And that shifted, really opened awareness to a different view, a different association to the pain. "May this pain be the cause for less pain in the world. May this pain serve to relieve the suffering of the world." Very big change.

Nikki: Beautiful, Terrence. Thank you so much for sharing that shift in perception, in this different way of relating, holding, being. That is profound. Instead of habitually, our mind sees it as, "Oh, my pain, my shoulder, my back, my toe," whoa! Common humanity. Pain of both common humanity, other people, and also the pain of the world. This is the suffering. It's the shared suffering. "Oh, and I'm holding this piece." There's a sense of nobility: "I'm holding this piece for our fellow beings." It's beautiful. Yes, so it's a dimension of beauty, and really this wholehearted offering of your suffering. Putting it on the altar and, "Here it is, I'm holding it for all of us." It's lovely. Thanks for sharing that, Terrence. It's beautiful how that opened up for you. Lovely, thank you.

Any other reflections? Anything you've noticed or any challenges, questions? It's all welcome.

Participant: A phrase that has helped me a lot, and in reference to the previous comment, is, "I am feeling this now so others don't have to." That's from Pema Chödrön^[3].

Nikki: Yeah, "I am feeling this now so others don't have to." One way of burning off our karma^[4]. Thank you. Thanks for reading that in. And as you give credit to Pema Chödrön, this way of conceptualizing and seeing suffering as an offering is common, especially in Vajrayana^[5] Buddhism, in Tibetan Buddhism. Not so much in Theravada^[6], but yes, very common. It can be a beautiful way that the heart can find a lot of meaning in suffering. Instead of it being senseless and having no point, there's a beauty, there's a sacredness that can show up in this way. Thank you.

So let's jump into our sangha practice where the practice meets the road, or comes into contact relationally holding ourselves just in this moment with care, holding others in just this moment with care. Showing up fully. Can we show up fully for ourselves? Can we show up fully for everyone else? This could be great practice in small groups today for how we show up for ourselves and others in relationships. Instead of thinking about what we're going to say or what we're going to have for lunch or dinner, can we show up for others, ourselves, for just the six minutes practicing wholeheartedly and see what that might feel like in the body and in the mind? And as always, let's start with 15 seconds of metta^[7] for ourselves and for each other.

I'm going to create the rooms. They will take a second. All right. So let's see here... let me fix this. Okay, here we go. All right, I'm going to open the rooms.

Here we go. The rooms are closed, everyone is back. We have a couple of minutes for any reflections or questions, anything that has come up while you were practicing together in groups. What did you notice? Especially if you haven't spoken for a while, I would love to hear what's come up for you. Your practice is important, your insight can support others. Even your confusion or if it didn't work, trusting that somebody else had the same question. Yeah, Rebecca?

Rebecca: Hi, yeah. It's really helpful to be in the grid because of gaining perspectives that I don't have. Even after years, all of a sudden there's a fresh perspective. Someone in my group said that the important thing is effort. It's like, what? And then I questioned it, because I didn't understand that the important thing is effort. I don't remember ever hearing that. And he explained the effort to be here. It's like, yeah, just the effort to be here. I just got it.

Nikki: Yeah, great. Thanks for sharing that. I appreciate how through the groups there are different perspectives, different ways of practicing which could be different from the way you conceptualize, and it's important for you. It's like, "How can that be important, effort?" Like, "Oh, yes." It lights up something completely new for you through that. Beautiful, thank you.

And Jennifer says, "Often in speech, 'just' is used to take attention away from—'just one more,' 'just a little.' Tonight, 'just' was used to draw simple attention to." Yes, very observant, Jennifer. Thank you for that linguistic attunement of yours. Yes, exactly. "Just" emphasizes, just as important right here, right now. Beautiful. Thank you for that.

Any last-minute reflections, questions before we wrap up our time together?

Anthony: Nikki, yes, I just wanted to mention... sometimes when you said about the timeless, it really hit a note with me. When we're connected with that peacefulness, the inner peace and the joy of just being connected with the body, the breath... sometimes I feel like it feels so good that it feels like an escape. Like I'm using it as an escape. But then I remember someone mentioned in a dharma talk that the Buddha said he had the same state of mind or something, but he said that if it's wholesome, how could it be bad for you? How could it be bad for you if it's wholesome, for something that you could cling onto or attach to?

Nikki: I'm so glad you bring that in, Anthony. That's fantastic. First of all, I am delighted that that sense of spaciousness and timelessness and that peace arises for you in meditation, because it's very nourishing. It is very nourishing. And this fear that comes up for you—"Oh, is this bad for me? Am I checking out? Is this kind of like I'm taking happy drugs and just checking out in this happy space? Is that what that is?"—if it becomes that, if people do it just to check out, then yes, it can become that. But that's not what I'm hearing is happening for you, and that's not how the Buddha utilized it. The way we actually practice it with its spaciousness supports us. It gives us calm and peace to then bring love, compassion, stability, care to the world instead of just checking out. It's like, "Okay, I'm going to take care of myself, rest, and I'll be more nourished to be in the world to serve in the world, instead of just checking out in this fun land." Does that make sense in the context?

Anthony: Yeah, definitely. Thank you.

Nikki: And these states are very supportive. Very supportive. So please, please don't shy away from them. Feel nourished and then serve the world more from this place of calm and stillness and love. Beautiful.

So thank you all for your practice. Thank you for showing up, supporting yourself, supporting each other. May all beings be well. May all beings be happy, including ourselves. Thank you.