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Happy Hour: Recognizing and Sharing Our Goodness

So, hello everyone and welcome to Happy Hour. It's lovely to be with you and lovely to sit with you, whether you're joining right now on Zoom, or as many folks are joining right now on YouTube, or listening later on AudioDharma. Lovely to be practicing together, even if separated in time and space.

For today's practice, I'd like to invite us to explore the theme of dedication—dedication of merit, dedication of goodness—as synonymous with practicing mettā^[1].

I'm going to pause for a moment and let you just take that in, and let you sit with what it might mean for mettā, this cultivation of goodness, sharing goodness and goodwill with ourselves and with the world, for it to be synonymous with this practice that we often do. Sometimes it maybe just feels like a formality. We do it at the end of every sit or every practice period, which is a dedication of merit: dedicating the goodness that's been generated to the well-being of all beings everywhere.

I want to invite you to consider that those two practices, actually, in some ways are one and the same. Let me say it's actually perhaps more like a Venn diagram, that there is a large area of similarity between the two practices. There are some differences, so I want to allow for that, and if this was a longer talk and a longer teaching, I would explore the differences too. But for the purpose of this exploration, I'd like us to explore the similarity, not the differences. Let go of the differences now that I've introduced them, and just let your heart feel into the similarity, into what's the same.

When one is dedicating goodness—say the goodness that has arisen from one's practice, or the goodness of one's intention, or the goodness of one's heart, the intentionality. Even if, for example, you intended to have a quiet sit and the mind was all over the place, there was still an intention of goodness and a planting of seeds. To dedicate that both to yourself and to others is acknowledging, on some level, that there is goodness here. "Oh, there is goodness here in this intention of wholesomeness, of cultivation of kindness, of goodwill." As shoddy as the execution may feel, as shoddy as it may be: "Oh, there is goodness here." Let that be a fulfilling, a gladdening of one's own heart, an enriching, a dedication both to oneself and to others.

There's also another important dimension here that I'd like to invite us to explore, and that is the dimension of radical generosity. Why generosity? Well, with mettā, there's radical generosity in wishing well for ourselves, wishing well for others in ever-expanding concentric circles. Wishing well for people we have challenges with, wishing well for all beings everywhere—there's a sense of generosity in the cultivation of these ever-expanding circles.

It is the same way with dedicating merit, this goodness. Trusting in the goodness is number one. Trusting and recognizing that there is goodness here. That's really step one. Step two is not attaching to it, not keeping it for ourselves. Recognizing that yes, it's here, and generously sharing it with others. "May this goodness make my life be an offering to others for the well-being of all beings everywhere." That's another dimension that I like to bring in at the end. What if we lived our lives as a dedication? Sharing the goodness that's generated, even if it feels shoddy, but recognizing the goodness there is here. This can be a very profound practice.

There's so much more I can say about this. In fact, I wrote an article about the dedication of merit some time ago that appeared in the Buddhadharma magazine exploring these different dimensions.

Guided Meditation

So without further ado, let's explore. Let's get into our meditation posture.

Landing. Landing in the body. Whether you need to sit up straighter with a sense of integrity in the body, or if you need to lie down, recognizing what the body needs in this moment. Turning the attention inward and landing. Slowly, smoothly landing. Arriving in the body.

In the same way that after a snow globe is set down on a surface, all the flurry can settle. Imagine, see all the thoughts, the flurry of your mind, all the specks settling, settling. Being lowered, settling softly. A sense of embodiment. All the specks settling in the body. Bottom heavy, not top heavy. Let there be a sense of clarity in the awareness, the same way that in the snow globes there can be clarity in the liquid. Clear, see-through clarity of awareness where all can be seen and perceived.

Landing and resting with the breath. Receiving the breath in the abdomen. Letting there be stillness in the mind and in the body. Inviting stillness and ease.

And if you find thoughts arising, as if the snow globe has been rattled again, set it down. Set it down again gently. Letting the specks settle again. Imagining your thoughts settle gently in the body.

Receiving the in-breath and the out-breath. Inviting the mind to keep settling, the heart to keep settling.

Let awareness of the breath be nourishing in this moment. How nourishing to be able to sit in silence and just breathe and be aware of it all. What a gift. So much goodness present here.

As awareness greets each breath, in-breath and out-breath, let it also invite the wholesomeness of intention in your heart. With each breath, as if you were greeting the sunrise—bright, lovely—creating the sunrise in your own heart. The rays of wholesome intention in this moment, in showing up and practicing, supporting and being supported.

Let your body be relaxed and soft, as if you're landing, sitting in the expansiveness. Sitting relaxedly in the expansiveness of goodness, your heart's goodness that's beyond your imagination. You have an inkling of it, but it's beyond. It's larger than you can contain. It doesn't want to be limited; it wants to be recognized.

Sitting in this expansive field of goodness that's generating from your own heart, from your own wholesome intention. So the goodness is radiating out of your heart, creating this sphere that you can relax into, sit in, and feel. But it's more expansive, this larger intentionality for goodness. The intention for cultivating goodwill, kindness, generosity, service, or whatever values and goodnesses arise in your heart in this moment for you. Let them be seen. Inviting them to be recognized, to expand.

And again, choosing to turn towards goodness, wholesomeness of intention, and kindness. And if your mind takes a left turn into all the things you're doing wrong, invite it gently: "Come back, sweetie, come back. This is not a time for self-judgment." It's a time for recognizing goodness, of which there is plenty. Yes, there might be ways that we can grow, but right now, this is the practice that can be nourishing and fulfilling, and allow us to continue to grow and learn and expand in goodness.

Taking the time to rest, to recognize the beauty, the grace, the goodness of these intentions as a gift in this moment. Sitting, breathing, in this healing space, this sphere of goodness.

Recognizing that this goodness is a gift. These intentions, the wholesomeness, is a gift; it's grace. It's both yours and not yours, offered to you from the beyond. Appreciating, feeling nourished by this goodness. Letting yourself feel healed by the goodness, the grace, as if it's mettā, goodwill offered to you.

Letting it expand. Letting there be a generosity in which this goodness is shared, beamed further out, dedicated. This goodness shared, goodness dedicated with joy, with delight, with generosity to others. This sharing of goodness, sharing of your own goodness, can feel like mettā. Warmth, goodwill shared, spread, shining from your heart on its own, bringing goodness, healing, and nourishment to others. Goodness shared far and wide, goodwill.

Sharing your goodness, recognizing the abundance of your heart. There's so much more. Let your heart discover its own plenty. Let yourself be surprised.

And for the last moments of this practice, let us engage in the dedication, sharing, shining out the goodness generated, the merit of this practice together. However shoddy we evaluated it to be, trusting, recognizing there was goodness generated in showing up and trying, even for a millisecond. Recognizing that, letting our hearts smile: "There is goodness. There is goodness, yes. There's goodness here." And generously sharing it. Letting it shine, sharing our goodness, our song with the whole world. May it be of benefit.

Thank you for your practice, for the goodness of your practice.

Reflections and Q&A

I'm going to change the settings so that you can type in chat if there are any reflections coming up for you, or if you'd like to raise your hand using the raise hand function. I would love to hear your reflections, what's coming up for you, and any questions. It would be lovely to hear your reflections, either see them in chat or hear you say them out loud.

This can be a powerful practice, this recognizing that there is goodness here, and then recognizing the generosity of sharing it. I see Paula, I see your hand, please.

Paula: I just wanted to thank you. This couldn't have been a more perfect practice for me tonight. I needed this so very much, and at first I thought the most important word that you used was "nourish." I loved that word tonight, it was perfect. And then just for good measure you tossed in the word "grace." So I just want to say thank you.

Nikki: Thank you, Paula. Deeply appreciate your practice. Anybody else would like to share any reflections, questions, complaints?

Megan says, "I can share but not able to do the raise hand." Oh, okay, let me find you, Megan, and ask you to unmute yourself. Give me one second please... The joys of... there you are.

Megan: Hi there. I got these lovely little books by Thich Nhat Hanh^[2] from a good friend this week, like How to Eat, How to Love, etc. And I was reading the How to Eat book, and there's this little part about how your body is not your own, your body is part of the earth and it's part of your ancestors and generations to come, and the community. I was just thinking with the theme of sharing the merit about the practice, and how most of the time we orient towards our practice like "mine," "ours," etc. And I was thinking about it more as like, the practice is not your own, the practice is all of ours, even though it feels like it's individual. That felt really good and true, I guess.

Nikki: Indeed. Yeah, thank you, Megan. It's both personal and it's not personal. Valuing really both of those dimensions. Not to obliterate the uniqueness of this being in this way that's showing up right now, and yet it's not personal. It's ours, it's nature, it's something beyond our limiting it, fixing it to just be "ours," "mine," "me," "my practice," "my liberation." It's all intertwined. My liberation is intertwined with yours, and yours, and yours. So yeah, thank you, Megan.

Violet says, "Re-realizing that sometimes the best way to be of service to others is to retreat from them for a while to recharge." Yes. Yes, Violet, yeah. Indeed, especially I appreciate that you're a frontline worker, as a teacher if I recall correctly. So yeah, especially yes. Please take care. Please retreat to take care of yourself and your heart.

And Kate has their hand up, please Kate.

Kate: I'm always amazed at how much this heart needs to be reminded that there's goodness. To keep hearing that, to trust that. It's just amazing how much you can just keep saying it and saying it and saying it. So thank you, that was a lovely reminder and encouragement.

Nikki: Lovely, lovely, beautiful. Thank you, Kate. And just you saying that, just you being here, just you uttering those words, just you appreciating the reminder and showing up in this way and being noticed. There's so much goodness in just this, in this co-creation in this moment, that my heart is becoming alight in the goodness just in this space. So yes, there is so much goodness. Yes, I see goodness as I look at your square. So much goodness, yeah. Lovely. And we'll let this be the last quick comment before we go into practice.

Trudy, please.

Trudy: Well, first of all, let's see, am I unmuted? Right. First of all, I'd like to thank you for that guided meditation. It was very beautiful and, for me, very meaningful. And the other thing, since you invited complaints, is I would like us to have more time for the small groups and less time for this segment like we used to. Thank you.

Nikki: Yeah, thank you. Thank you for registering your vote. For the groups, we tend to have six, seven minutes. And this section hasn't been shortened—sometimes it's shortened because we run out of time, but otherwise that's always been the same ever since we were doing it actually in place at IMC. So I appreciate the vote for that, and I also do appreciate this part too because there is so much value in hearing the wisdom of the sangha^[3]. How things are landing, what's working and what's not working. That's part of the teaching. There's so much wisdom in the sangha, so this is just as important, I think, as the other part. So I appreciate what you're saying. So that we don't have to cut the groups short, Trudy, let's go into groups so we don't have to cut them short.

The invitation is for recognizing goodness. Recognizing your own goodness, recognizing the goodness of those in the practice room with you. Recognizing goodness is the theme that I invite us to practice with today. So let's see, I'm going to create the rooms. Here we go, okay, and I'm going to open the rooms now.

(Breakout session occurs)

Okay everyone, welcome back. So I want to first share, I mentioned the article that I had, so I put a link in there if you wanted to open and look at it later that touches into some of these concepts of dedication of merit and mettā. And also, this might be a good time, Neil, if you wanted to reshare the link to the Happy Hour mailing list or Google groups if anybody would like to join who's not on there already.

We have a couple of minutes for any reflections. Actually, maybe I'll do one thing... before that, I'd like to ask you if what was raised just now about the amount of time, does it feel like there's enough time? If you would like to have more time for groups, click "yes." There are options "yes" and "no." If you want to have more time, say "yes." If you think it's about the right amount of time, then click "no." It's about the right amount of time for groups, so click on the "no" if you would, please, if you think it's just the right amount of time. Or if you want to have more time, it would be nice to see.

Yeah, I see one "yes," I see three "no"s in chat, and I see more "no"s in the X's. Okay, more "no"s. Okay, seven "no"s, five "yes"es in the click. Okay, all right, that's a good sense. So it seems like the balance is about right for most, unless we run over and we have to cut it short. Okay, so all right, it's kind of nice to make it democratic, see what the feeling is out there. Okay, thank you all, that's great. So I'm going to clear it all.

Great. So yes, we have a minute now for reflections if anybody would like to raise their hand or type something in chat. What might have come up for you in the groups, especially if you didn't speak earlier?

Holly, please.

Holly: Hello. Oh, actually this didn't come up in the group, is that okay?

Nikki: Sure, it's okay.

Holly: Meditation... I'm not sure what prompted it, but I had this experience of seeing how I am with other people, like what I offer to people. Oh, I think it was the prompt of being in your goodness. And I could see, "Okay, so when I'm with others, they're basking in my goodness." And I like being with others like that. I very naturally offer an acceptance, like that they are free to be themselves. So I had a go of me being in that. So I could imagine doing it for others, and then I imagined myself being in that, so I was able to receive some of that freedom to just be how I am. And I must say, it's... it was really lovely. It was nourishing.

Nikki: That is absolutely lovely. It brightens my heart to hear that. To feel into, as you're talking about, getting that realization: "Oh, this is the goodness, this is the beauty I offer others." And oh, resting in that for myself! Oh, it's so nourishing for me to rest in that too. A reflected back offered to myself and reflected back. It's... yay, I'm getting chills as you talk about it. What a nice way to, as you are with people now, feel into that and that ease for yourself. And even if you're—I mean nowadays, of course with COVID, even if you're with them virtually, or even if you're with them in your mind as you're exploring that, is just lovely. Yeah, thanks for offering that, Holly.

Yeah. So, dear ones, it is 7:02 and I want to try to actually end more on time from now, and I think we've been kind of getting going later and later. So, yeah. I see a couple more comments. Jeanie talked about the value of intention and of our confidence in our intention, and the value of that and interpersonal reactions and actions. Great. And yes, I see your note, Vicky. I'll check that later.

And "Are we meeting Christmas and New Year?" Christmas is to be determined. We're definitely meeting Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day is to be determined. We'll let you know, so please check the calendar next week.

All right, dear ones, dedicating the merit of our practice together. May the goodness of our practice be a cause and condition for our own freedom, happiness, joy, ease, and all beings everywhere.

Thank you all, thank you.