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Happy Hour: The Arc of Our Lives

Great, anybody else wants to say hello, just unmute yourself if you haven't already joined in to say hello. Happy birthday, Casey. Thank you! Oh, nice. Great.

So here we go. Okay, great, so I've got that started now. I can look at the chats here. So look at all the action I've missed. I've missed a hello from Lisa, from Berkeley, from Mark. Oh, a hello from the squirm contingent and the puppy, that's sweet. Dane also says hello from Berkeley. Casey from Cupertino, oh yes, who says it's her birthday. Happy birthday, Casey! This is what I missed. Happy birthday, very sweet.

Thank you for spending your birthday with us. So we'll give you some birthday metta^[1], some birthday love. Oh, thanks Nikki. Ah, very sweet. And let's see, Current says hello from Mexico. Ah, hello, you're on vacation, but usually from Los Alamos. Great, welcome. And our Who also says happy birthday to Casey. Sweet. And hi Dave, and hi Aura. Let's see, gosh, so many hellos and greetings, and lots of metta to each other. Very sweet. That's very sweet.

So, with that warm welcome to ourselves and each other, let's all mute ourselves and formally get started here. Let's see, another couple of meetings. Let me do some... here we go. And oh yes, thank you Neil for posting information about the Google Groups happy hour just in case you are new and are not on that mailing list. It's where information is shared with the sangha^[2], so it's a lovely place to join.

And also, Rebecca says, "We missed you this week at IMS." Oh yes, yes. So last week I was supposed to be at IMS in Barre, Massachusetts, part of the teaching team to help teach the New Year's retreat. And given the Omicron situation and traveling, and my immune system being what it is anyway, I respectfully bowed out. And I hope it was a wonderful retreat, Rebecca.

So with all of that, let's formally get started, and I will turn on recording for the sake of AudioDharma.

The Arc of Our Lives

So for the theme for tonight, which is going to include our birth, being inspired by it being Casey's birthday tonight, the theme that I'd like to invite us to practice with, to work with, is opening up our perspective. Opening up our perspective as if you were sitting on the top of a proverbial mountain and looking at the entire trajectory of your life, not just this moment.

Yes, we will be embodied in this moment. But sometimes, actually, if we're too much in this moment, and if our vision is too narrow—not in an embodied way, but in a heady way—you're just thinking about all the problems and the issues, and "What am I going to do about this?" and "This is terrible," "This is never going to end," "This is awful." That tightness of vision, which you might be familiar with, can create a sense of contraction, a sense of tightness. And even sometimes metta might be hard to be accessible in that state. And I trust, I'm sure you have experienced what I'm talking about. We've all experienced this tightness where your vision is so narrow. So narrow, really, as if you're just swimming in what the problem or the most recent drama might be.

Whereas the invitation tonight... Ah, even just talking about that tight vision kind of gets my heart clenched. It feels so contractive. So letting go of that view. And instead, having a sense of openness. An openness of vision that here is this being who is you living this life. This being has been born, has come into this life. This being someday will leave this world, of course. And this whole arc, so many things that have happened. So many beautiful, surprising, amazing, and so many challenging things that have happened that you've grown through. And this road will continue.

So this expansiveness of vision, including both you and including other beings, can be—with the right invocation—a perspective of equanimity^[3]. Equanimity that things come, things go. Ah, it's okay. It's okay. This is an interesting, mysterious journey, being human. It's such an amazing, mysterious journey to have a body. Even if this body at times doesn't work so well, or this mind that has its particularities and quirks, and funny ways that it acts and reacts in the world.

Oh, sweetheart. Oh, sweetheart. This interesting body, this interesting heart, this interesting mind that happens to be me. Wow, how unique is this? It's so unique. It's different from any other body, any other mind, anybody else in the world.

So this sense of tenderness, letting there be a sense of tenderness for this being who is you, who has this arc of life and is doing their best. Doing their best and opening up to the mystery. Opening up to this mystery that is our life. I'm sure you have noticed by now, it's not all under our control. Not our bodies, not our minds. Which doesn't free us from responsibility and wholesome intention. And yet, so much of this selfless being is ungovernable. So much of this body, this mind, this heart.

So from this perspective, having tenderness, having love. Not self-flagellation like, "Bad, bad me! Do this! Why can't you do this?" Like, "Oh, sweetheart. Oh, sweetheart. Just being human is so challenging enough. Is so amazing enough. Both challenging, beautiful, profound." So this expansiveness of vision is what I'm inviting us to practice with.

So that's enough of a setting for our guided meditation. Let's land. Let's arrive.

Guided Meditation

Let's arrive in this body. Ah, let's arrive.

Letting go of all the words. Letting go of the words, letting go of any thoughts. Just arriving in the body and the tender sensations of this body sitting. This amazing miracle of life pulsating, breathing, blood flowing through the organs. Glistening, sensing, just this amazing body. Ah, inhabiting it fully, arriving in it fully. My body, wow, so incredible to have a body. Wow, so much works so well. Even if there may be challenges in the body's home, much of it works so amazingly well.

Dropping in. Dropping in the weight internally to your belly. Dropping it. Letting the breath be breathed on its own in the lower abdomen. And with each breath, landing. Landing more deeply, arriving more fully into the present moment.

Just taking a moment of refuge. Taking refuge in the breath, in the body, and as much silence as is available. And if thoughts arise, it's okay. They will, they do. Not a problem. Not a problem. Smiling at the thoughts. Saying, "Thank you, thank you so much, please come back later." "Not now, come back later." Letting the body, the breath, relax. Ah, relaxing the body. Ah, be the center of your joyful attention.

Just being breathed. Just being breathed. Breath in the abdomen, calming, soothing. Just here, now, deliciously here. In the body, embodied.

Being in the body can help expand our vision, not being in our heads. So come come back to the body.

Spending another minute or two just arriving with the breath, with the body, before we turn and open our hearts to metta.

And now I would like to invite us, as if we were watching a movie of our lives. Still staying embodied, feeling the breath, feeling the feet on the floor, our hands, our bottom on the cushion. Not getting heady, but staying embodied. And yet, in this movie theater, we see with our heart, not with our head. With our heart, with our bodies, we perceive the arc of our lives. The arc.

Having been born. A sweet, sweet newborn finding themselves in the world. Maybe all smiles, a feeling of tenderness arises. A feeling of tenderness. This being. This being who is me and yet not me. This precious child.

As if you were a newborn, not thinking so much about what happened, or was she either loved or challenged... none of that. If those come up, please drop them. Not the door we're entering tonight. But as if you were that newborn, embodied. Wow, in this amazing, miraculous world. Mystery. Wow, incredible. Everything new, everything fresh. The sun, clouds, the green grass, butterflies, water.

Now bowing to that little newborn. And now let's move forward in time. And for the purpose of this practice, of course, life is so uncertain and we don't know what is going to happen, when, and how long our lives might be. We could be hit by a bus and die tomorrow. And yet, for the purpose of this practice, let's imagine ourselves perhaps years from now. So there's a sense of spaciousness, perspective. Looking at the world from the perspective of, let's suppose, a life well lived. Whatever needed to happen, did happen, or not. Just at the state of peace and equanimity. Letting go.

Now looking at the clouds from that perspective of the end of life. Again, not knowing what it will be like, but just for the sake of this guided imagery for a moment. Clouds, sun, maybe sunset. Trees, butterflies. Whatever images of nature soothe and calm you. Maybe it's the ocean. Maybe gratitude arises. Thank you. Wow, this miracle that I was a part of.

Maybe even saying goodbye to the body. This miracle that was my body. This body that is me and also not me. This being is so much more magnificent, with so many dimensions. Maybe a sense of warmth, tenderness arises for this being who is you and not you, parting. Thank you, goodbye world.

Now bowing. Bowing. Staying embodied, feeling your body, your heart, your feet, your hands, your bottom on the cushion. Bowing to this image.

Now letting your vision be expansive. Including all these versions of yourself. So many versions, so many ups and downs between the moment of birth, the moment of death, and this moment here. So many moments of joy, bliss. So many challenges, so much growth. It's just all beautiful, mysterious, unique.

Letting your heart, inviting, perhaps inviting gently your heart to include all of these beings. All these slices of this being through time. Like old movies, there would be reels. All these different images, these slices of life. Don't have to think about them all. Just letting your heart open up. Oh, sweetheart. This being. This being who is me.

Loving unconditionally. Offering love, goodwill to all their beauty, their divinity, their Buddha nature^[4], their foibles. All their mistakes, all their pain, their sorrows. Unconditionally loving it all. Not picking and choosing.

Thank you. Maybe appreciation, gratitude arises for this being who is you, doing their best. May there be warmth, goodwill, love. As if you're expanding your arms, stretching wide, far and wide. Loving this being. Given what seems unlovable at times, loving that too. Loving that especially. Especially that, because often what appears to us as unlovable really is suffering, really is dukkha^[5]. Especially loving that.

And maybe one of the images of the reel comes up there, a moment in time, maybe, maybe not, that attracts you, attracts your heart especially. Calling to be loved, to be held unconditionally in love. Maybe it was a time when you went through a challenging time valiantly, courageously. Or anything at all. Living there beyond conditional love and acceptance.

And now bowing to that image, coming back to this body. This moment in time that is also one tableau, an image out of this reel, of this movie reel of this life. Expansiveness of vision. Including, loving yourself unconditionally for whatever is arising in this moment.

This being who is you and also not you. An expression of beauty, goodness, divine Buddha nature, whatever words we like to give it. To love and to be loved by so many dimensions of this here, this being.

As if we're looking into a mirror, looking into a mirror passing back and forth. Infinitude. Loving this being and being loved. Stretching into infinity, all these images in the present moment. So many dimensions. Our humanity and divinity, loving and being loved.

And as we bring this sitting to a close, maybe in your mind's eye, bowing to yourself. Your divinity bows to you, you bow to your inner Buddha. Who is bowing to whom? Thank you. Keep going, keep loving.

May all beings, including ourselves, open up our hearts with full love, unconditional love to ourselves. To our own inner goodness. May all beings be free.

Reflections

Thank you everyone. Ah, thank you for your practice. Thank you for being part of the sangha. Even if this is your first time, you are a part of the sangha now.

So we have some time for reflections, questions, comments. And the invitation as always is, what you share is for the benefit of both yourself to be held witness, and also for the benefit of others, the sangha. It's a gift. So sharing in questions, confusions, insights, aha moments—it's all the gift we offer each other. And if you send it to me in chat, I will not read your name. If you send it to everyone, then it's public, I will read your name as well as your reflection.

One reflection: Thank you for the vitamin metta you offer us here. That is so sweet. Thank you for that reflection. Vitamin metta, I like that. Vitamin M. Yes, we all need our daily vitamin M, don't we? It supports our hearts, it supports our minds, our bodies, and the way we show up in the world.

So especially if you are new, haven't spoken for a while, you're so welcome. And if you want to speak, please raise your Zoom hand. You go to the reactions on the computer and you find it there, it's 'raise hand'. Otherwise, I will not see you because I only see just a few of you due to privacy. Since this is on YouTube and I'm spotlighted, I only see very few people, not every one of you.

Nancy says, Yes, nourishing to be in sangha and meditation. Yes, I agree. Nourishing for me too, to be with you friends. So questions, comments, reflections, what did you notice? Jane says, No words for how beautiful that was. Ah, thank you Jane. May practice be nourishing.

So I can say more, but I'm going to pause and invite to see if any new voices would like to be brought into the space. What did you notice? What came up for you? What happened?

Current says, I found it so interesting and mysterious to reflect on how I am and also am not the same self at different ages. I could probably think about that for a long time. Yes, pretty mysterious and magical, Current, yes. So appreciate that that reflection has been ignited for you. So the invitation I have is actually, drop that in, because it's already been dropped in through this meditation. So take it with you. Don't so much think about it, because many of these reflections don't lend themselves to thinking about. But as it's been dropped in, carry it. Carry it with yourself when you go to bed tonight. Just open to it, not thinking about it, but just kind of let yourself soak in it. Tomorrow, maybe when you go for a walk outside, kind of take it for a walk with you and see what might arise. Yeah, and see more dimensions of this mystery might open up for you. This is lovely. Thank you.

Wayne, I see your hand is raised, please.

Wayne: I've been... it was helpful for me to sit with my... I was not looking at anything, but just to almost not quite completely close my eyelids, but just keep them slightly open. But my eyes unfocused. And it just helped me stay a little alert enough. Sometimes for these 6 PM sittings, when I completely close my eyes I wander off, and my mind often runs more.

Nikki: Yeah, great! I am so glad you've discovered that and also sharing it with others. Because opening the eyes just a slight slit to let light in, that's a fantastic tool to be used when the mind is foggy or sleepy. Very gently, it raises the energy of the body. Beautiful. I'm so delighted you've discovered that. Lovely.

Barbara, please.

Barbara: Thank you Nikki. I appreciated what you said about the arc of your life, and I thought of my life like a rainbow, you know. Beginning little and then getting older, and now, you know, sort of getting towards the end. And I found my mind went to visualizing myself as a young child exploring the beach, where I grew up near the beach. And I don't know, it was just a lovely reflection on sort of where my life has gone at different parts and ending up here where we are. Just a reflection on the totality of the life experience. And I want to thank you because it's been a good life. It's hard now.

Nikki: What I'm hearing is there's a sense of gratitude that has arisen for you. There's a sense of gratitude, and I trust there was metta also for this being who is you. That's what I'm hearing. With gratitude and metta for this arc of life. Lovely. Beautiful. Thank you, Barbara.

And Abraham, I see your hand. Please unmute.

Abraham: I also really liked looking at the arc of my life, and it's helpful to not get too caught up in whatever is disturbing or wrong that's happening right now. But also you made mention of seeing ourselves when we were courageous, when we stood in the breach, when we stood up for what was true and didn't desert ourselves. And I appreciated that.

Nikki: Thank you, Abraham. Thank you so much for highlighting that. Yes, I did drop that in, and how for you that ignited something in your heart, in appreciation. It's beautiful. Thank you.

It's 6:50, so one more reflection that's just come in: Viewing the arc of my life was very effective. I spent decades in addictive patterns. I've had a lot of regrets. "I'm so sorry," then me said, "Yes, I know." Now me answered. It was such a relief.

Wow. Thank you. That is so beautiful to be in that, yes. To ask for forgiveness and offer understanding to ourselves. Thank you. So beautiful, so powerful. Thank you for sharing that.

So dear ones, let's turn our attention to practicing in small groups with one another. Holding each other with metta, with appreciation. And if you can stay, please do. If you have to leave, no judgment. But small groups can be so sweet, they can be so supportive. So I'm going to create the rooms now. Take care of yourselves, take care of each other. See what kind of wisdom—there's so much wisdom in this sangha. See, hear the wisdom that your friends here offer you. So the rooms are created, opening them. Take care.

[Breakout rooms session]

Okay, the rooms are all closed. Everybody is back. Welcome back. And we have just about a minute if there are any reflections, especially if you have not spoken today. If you'd like to share something in chat or quickly raise your hand, just bring us home. You'll have 30 seconds, please. Anything that came up when you were in groups?

Okay, going once, going twice. Just one to appreciate. When Jerry says, The small group helped me like myself better than in the past. Oh, that's sweet. Isn't it nice? And Nancy says, We discussed the arc of our lives, very lovely.

Oh, that's very sweet. Very sweet. So thank you all. Thank you for your practice. And yes, happy birthday again Casey, sharing part of you, the arc of your life. All of us sharing arcs of our lives in this moment together, supporting each other. Practicing, supporting ourselves and all beings everywhere. Thank you for being part of the sangha. May all beings be happy. May all beings be free, including ourselves.

Thank you, and now...