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Happy Hour: Watching the Movie of Our Lives Through Buddha-Colored Glasses

Introduction

Welcome, welcome everyone to Happy Hour. Lovely to see your faces and feel you in this Zoom room. We're in many different time zones tonight; I can see folks from different time zones and different countries. There is a sense that I have with Happy Hour, ever since we've moved to this online format, of common humanity even more so with so many folks joining internationally. I want to bring that into the room and name it so that it will be part of our practice tonight: holding the diversity of all of us human beings in this shape, in this form, having a body that ages, gets older, gets sick, and has pain now and then. This human condition on this planet that we're all part of.

So with that as an introduction, the theme for tonight that I'd like to guide us in a meditation is an appreciation of how challenging it is just to be human. We often berate ourselves for not doing enough, or not being enough. We have a long to-do list: accomplishing, serving the world, serving others, taking care of others, taking care of ourselves, not eating too much, not eating too little—you name it. Taking care of this body, taking care of what we need to accomplish in the world, what we want to accomplish in the world. Our minds can be so busy with this habitual doing, doing, doing, that we may not often turn our attention to what a valiant effort it is, how amazing it is that we're even alive, and that we keep showing up.

It's not easy being human. Basically, that's the message. To recognize that for us to keep showing up with everything that our body faces, everything that our mind faces in this world, I think we all deserve a Purple Heart, which is this medal of courage in the United States. We all deserve a medal of courage just for continuing to show up in our lives, especially at this time of the pandemic with everything that's going on in our world. Just going through life is something we take for granted, but to appreciate ourselves for continuing to show up, however we show up, even if we think we're not doing good enough—we're doing plenty.

It's amazing to be human, and to go through all the ups and downs, all the heartbreaks, all the disappointments, all the... you fill in the blanks. Being human is not for the faint of heart. My invitation tonight in the guided meditation is for us to give ourselves credit. To really appreciate our own beauty of humanity, of just showing up. We keep showing up, we keep doing our best, and it's not easy. Holding ourselves with care, warmth, friendliness, and appreciation for continuing to show up, instead of what our minds could turn to in terms of self-judgment, or "I should have," "I could have," "I didn't," or falling short. Engaging in self-judgment is pouring perfectly good mind moments after mind moments that have been challenging. Instead, stopping and just starting again. Okay, it didn't turn out however I did my best. Let's begin again.

That's the orientation for tonight, and more will be revealed to all of us as we explore together.

Guided Meditation

With that invitation, I would like to invite you to get comfortable in your sitting posture, whatever that might be. If you need to move in this moment, or if you need to lie down, that's okay too. If that's what your body is asking you in this moment in time, that's perfectly fine. Getting yourself to be comfortable, and landing in this body with friendliness. Letting go of all the words, and inviting your body to soften and relax.

As always, we'll start by tilling the soil by relaxing the body, softening. It's so important; if the body relaxes, softens, and is receptive, the mind can settle. So I invite you to let go in this moment, as best as you're able to. Let go of trying to achieve anything during this guided meditation. Relaxing your body, see what happens when you let go of trying to achieve, trying to make it be any particular way or have any particular outcome, just for this practice period. Later you can pick it up, but right now, what happens if you completely step into the stream, into the current of this moment, and see where it takes you? And wherever it takes you, to be completely okay with it. Embrace it, bow to it. For this matter, it could even be sleepiness. That's okay for this particular practice period. Let yourself be okay with whatever arises as a radical acceptance of your humanity in this moment.

Letting your body be heavy. Every limb, your hands, your arms, neck, shoulders. Your feet, your legs, sit bones. Your whole trunk, your head, your jaw, your forehead, your eyes. Releasing, releasing. As if your body was a block of ice, with relaxation melting... melting, melting... drop by drop. The tension melting in your head, face, neck, shoulders, arms, trunk, sit bones, legs, and feet. Letting each in-breath and out-breath be received naturally as it passes through the abdomen. With every breath, more tension dripping, softening. With every out-breath, at the end of the out-breath, more tension melting down, down, down.

Inviting the mind to calm and settle as each breath is received in the body that continues to become more and more soft, heavy, and at ease.

And now, if you would like to try this experiment, I'd like to invite you to take an external perspective on your own life. Seeing yourself as if you are taking a step out of yourself and watching yourself in this movie of your own life. In the same way that sometimes in 3D movie theaters you are given special glasses that help you see three-dimensionally, as you step out, you're given these powerful glasses. These Buddha-nature^[1] glasses that you're going to put on.

As you put them on, you get to see your own strength, your own good intentions, your own beauty. You get to see yourself from the perspective of a compassionate being who loves you completely, knows you completely, and knows your challenges. And knows the ways in which you like to grow in life, and also knows all the causes and conditions. These glasses allow the seeing, really perceiving in ways that you can't on your own, all the causes and conditions that even predate your birth coming into this world—your genetics, parents, upbringing, the global zeitgeist, so many things that you don't even have control over. Seeing yourself, this movie of your life, with appreciation for the courage of the protagonist that is you. Keeps showing up, waking up every morning, hanging in there with challenges, doing their best. A sense of appreciation.

You could be watching a movie segment from your life right now, maybe how the day went, from this particular perspective. Remember, you have these magical Buddha-nature glasses on. It's a particular way you're seeing, and feel free to experiment. See what way of seeing works best for you, emphasizing compassion, care, love—which is not self-pity. Seeing your strength, seeing your courage, seeing your good intentions, your values, challenges, whatever it might be. See what works for you. You're invited to experiment. Mettā^[2] is a creative practice of cultivation. So it could be a piece of the movie of today, yesterday, or some period of your life that calls to you for it to be seen from an unconditionally loving perspective. Feel free to experiment and see what works, without attachment to outcome. It's just a way of seeing that's part of this cultivation. Make sure you stay connected with your body and the breath as you perceive, as you see.

Remember, you have very special glasses on. So you're watching snippets of movies of your life, seeing yourself with unconditional love, mettā, care. As well as seeing your strength, beauty, intentionality, values, and the goodness that you have. And if you come across things that you've been criticizing yourself for, judging yourself for, see if you can see that part of the reel of the movie with these special glasses on, from a completely different perspective. Seeing the causes and conditions beyond your control, and how you did your best, as best as you could, given all the causes and conditions in the moment.

Remember that these magic vision glasses allow you to see your strength, your grace, your beauty, your love, your devotion, your service. These allow the seeing clearly of your goodness, as well as your challenges, with kindness, care, warmth, and understanding. See what needs to be seen, what is calling to be seen in this moment. Calling to be held, supported, appreciated for you.

And now I would like to invite you, with these glasses, to expand your gaze to include the movie of the lives of a few people around you. Maybe include first someone that you care about. Seeing their beauty and their challenges with the eyes of care, compassion, love, warmth, support, whatever nuance calls to you in this moment. And if there has been judgment, for this moment, for this particular perspective as we're exploring, see if there can be understanding that this being has been doing their best given all the causes and conditions, internally and externally. Seeing their goodness.

Now I'd like to invite you to include a neutral being. Someone whom you don't really know that well. Maybe you've interacted with very little—someone at the store, maybe a neighbor you've walked by. Just another human being just like you who wants to be happy, who has hopes and dreams, and disappointments, sorrows, losses. But just like you, they keep showing up. No matter what, doing their best, providing for themselves, for those they love. Trying to serve the best way they're able to, given all the challenges, the causes and conditions. See if there's a sense of friendliness, warmth, that becomes really clear as you're looking through these magic glasses for this fellow human being.

Now, if you wish—you don't have to, and if it's challenging you can drop it—I'd like to invite you to also look at the live movie of someone you have some challenge with. Maybe not the number one person, but further down, when you've had some entanglement, your lives have become entangled in some way around something. See if you can look at their life, their movie, through these glasses. Not condoning the hurtful actions, but also seeing that there are so many causes and conditions in this being's life. Seeing their humanity, and just like you, just like the neutral being, they too want to be happy. They don't want to cause harm, in general. Seeing that they too have goodness in them. Balancing the perspective of the challenges that they've caused you with seeing with kind eyes that there is goodness in them, and letting that in as little or as much as is available right now. Don't push it. And if it brings up a lot of angst, drop it. No worries, be gentle with yourself and with this practice. Again, not condoning the harm that has been done, separating the action from the humanity of the person.

And for the last moments of this practice period, turn your proverbial gaze to all beings, all human beings, all sentient beings on this planet. Being alive, being born, aging, and dying is not for the faint of heart. Have a sense of appreciation for all beings whose lives you come in contact with in any way. In this fathom-long body, this mortal coil, looking at these lives—so many movies, past, present, and future—through the eyes of compassion. Seeing their grace, beauty, goodness, and their challenges too.

Reflections and Q&A

Welcome back everyone. So in this practice together, we explored a different way of cultivating goodwill, mettā, and compassion, karuṇā^[3]. These practices of the brahmavihāras^[4], they're all skillful means. They're creative forms for us to see ourselves with a different perspective. So in this, there was an invitation for the magic perspective to be put on, using the Buddha-nature glasses, or a perspective of compassion, for us to have a different kind of appreciation. Often these suggestions can shift us, can jiggle us out of our usual way of seeing ourselves, our own lives, and our challenges especially.

I'd love to ask you if there are any reflections you'd like to share. What came up for you? You're welcome to unmute yourself, and you can also type them in chat.

I usually start by sharing something from my own practice. There were so many different pieces of it. I appreciated the idea of watching different snippets of my life and other people's lives. And also the inspiration for me, as I interact with people—either live or socially distanced—to actually evoke this idea of putting on these glasses and seeing how the interaction can shift. As a way to jump-start it, to really bring it to the forefront.

Anyone else would like to add any reflections, questions, comments? Everything is welcome.

Joe: That was really significant for me. My mettā practice has been... things, phases, and... yes, this is really rich, so I'm going to be doing this a lot.

Nikki: Great, thank you Joe. I'm delighted to hear how rich this felt for you and what a shift. Skillful means! I'm happy, thank you for that. Any other reflections, questions, comments, complaints? Bring it on! You can also type in chat if there's anything that's coming up, one word or two. It's also nice to bring into the space.

Austin: I just noticed how much easier it was... I've been doing brahmavihāra every Monday now, and I just noticed how much easier it was in nature. And then, it was really interesting too how we talked about the difficult being. As soon as you start describing them, how they have that same causes and conditions, and they are doing their best as well... as soon as you're describing them, they're instantly, I guess, more pleasant.

Nikki: Yeah, thank you Austin, I appreciate that. Especially seeing the causes and conditions, and not just in your own life, but other people's lives. Yeah, thanks for that.

And a couple of offerings also in chat: "I'm grateful to the crow for helping remind me to practice with openness to what comes up." I love that! Yes, that crow reminded me too, right outside my window. [Laughter]

Gita offers: "There are a lot of stories from my life, but this helps me see the story of my life and appreciate it with fierce compassion." Beautiful, thank you for offering that Gita. And Kathleen is joining us—she was on the phone, but now she's with us. Great, glad you're on, Kathleen. And Phil offered: "Had some nice moments with my childhood self." Oh, that's lovely! Yeah, so did I Phil, that was fun, I enjoyed that part too. Lovely.

Anything is welcome, as I said. Whatever comes up is lovely. If you fell asleep, if it didn't work at all, there's a lot of tension... it's all good as a part of learning, part of working with it.

[The group engages in short breakout room discussions.]

Welcome back everyone, alright. So we have just a couple of brief moments for sharing, and I also wanted to read a couple of things that folks had offered in the chat.

One is from Sangeeta: "Thanks for reminding how difficult the life we all live is. Thank you also for highlighting how conditioning is caused by my genes, parents, surroundings, and whatever else gives me comfort. That it's not just me."

And Phil offers: "Love 'Being human is not for the faint of heart.'" Yep, that's right.

Any comments, any reflections on your practice, either the first part or the community interactive practice with your special glasses on? Especially if you haven't spoken, please jump in.

Yogi: I had a hard time with the practice. I fluctuated; I could be in it for a moment, in that viewpoint of... I forget the exact term you used, but yeah, I was just all over the place. But it was really interesting to put myself in the perspective of, like, what if I was a true bodhisattva^[5] or somebody who's reached enlightenment, and I could look at myself through that light. I think there were a couple of things going on. One was like, "Oh, what if I have access to that vantage point?" Like that's actually a part of me... that came up and was shocking. And then when I started talking about self-compassion, I sort of withdrew at that point. I was really interested in like, "Oh, what if that's a part of me, being the bodhisattva?" And then once you said self-compassion, "Oh gosh, I can't give that to myself right now." I think I mentioned in our group I like to use Kristin Neff's self-compassion practice—she has a recording on Insight Timer—and I think I'll be needing to do that here in the next couple of days.

Nikki: Fantastic, thanks so much for sharing her recording again. I'm loving hearing how these different perspectives came up. This perspective of, "Oh, what if an awakened perspective is something that is available to me, is actually within me, and I can just switch onto it?" Whoa, what a lovely reflection! So my invitation would be to hang in with that. And whatever happened with, "Oh okay, how about self-compassion? Whoa, whoa, I can't go there right now." No, drop that, that's fine too. "Can't go there right now"—don't push it, don't force it, all good. And if there are ways for you that you know you can go there to cultivate, to practice, it'll become more available. This is lovely, so I appreciate what came up for you, so hang in there. This is fun to explore; who knows what comes up.

I'll just quickly read a couple more offerings here. "Relieved to let go of some of the struggle. And appreciate the care and consideration shown by my fellow yogis in their listening and awareness," by Lisa.

Thank you all, we've gone a few minutes over time tonight. Thank you for your patience. So let's bring to a close our practice together and dedicate the merit of our goodness, the goodness we've co-created together, to all beings everywhere. May all beings be happy. May all beings be free, including us. Thank you all, be happy, be well, take care. See you soon.