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Happy Hour: Embodying the Smile of the Buddha Within

Introduction: A Rainbow of Emotions

Welcome to Happy Hour. Lovely to be with you all, multi-time zone, international, and to feel your presence at this moment in time together, being alive in this time together.

I'm noticing that as the sheltering in place is continuing, a rainbow of emotions are arising that change perhaps in color and hue as the various conditions are changing in the world around us. Many things can arise. Tonight's offering is really connected to this. It would be lovely, if possible, for you to write in the chat: What are some of the emotions that are coming up for you at this time? What are the things that you're working with, either positive emotions or challenging emotions? And if you prefer to say them, if you want to raise your hand, I will unmute you.

Let's start to see what's present in the room. Loneliness, moodiness that's arising. Lack of connection. Too much time on your hands. A sense of awe is arising for another person. So much grief arising. Thank you for these. We also have anxiety.

Folks attending on YouTube share: Anxiety arising. Sometimes depressed and bored, and sometimes determined and committed. Sharing the yin and the yang. Wanting chocolate, TV, anything to distract and soothe. It's so interesting to notice that, and courageous of you to actually say it out loud, that yes, this is what's happening.

Another person shares: Loss, appreciation, anxiety, depression. The rainbow there—anxiety, depression, loss, as well as appreciation. Another person shares: Grateful for Zoom, grateful for global community. Trusting life. Fear for the ICU nurses and nursing in your family—of course, of course.

So, a lot of challenging emotions at this time. It is not unusual, and we're in this together. One thing that I was observing for myself is that given the container of challenge that is happening in our world—challenges all around, the way that we are personally impacted, the concern we have for the people that we love, the way they are impacted, and just the news of the world—it all creates a container for more challenging and difficult emotions to arise. If we have different tendencies in our normal repertoire of emotions—if we tend to gravitate towards anxiety, for example—yes, of course, let's observe that the container of what's happening in the world could give more rise to that.

The reason why I'm saying this, and why I asked for what's coming up for many of you, is to know that when these emotions are coming up, in many ways, they feel personal. It feels like it is your anxiety. It is your sadness. It is your loneliness. It is your fear. And yet, it really helps to acknowledge that there is a larger container of what is happening in the world to not take what is coming up for you so personally.

I see that for me that's really supportive. I've noticed, "Oh, there's more anxiety," and I'm thinking, "Of course, it feels like my awareness, my consciousness, is in tune with what is happening globally for many other people." In that way, feeling connected, feeling part of the human family. The sense of loneliness, the sense of "Oh, this is just me, this is just my anxiety, this is just my fear or grief," it puts it in a bigger context.

As you may know, in Buddhism there are teachings on what's called Anatman^[1], or impersonality. Things not being really personal, not being just you and yours. Anatman is often translated as "not-self." In this way, by awakening our wisdom, by tapping into our understanding, we realize that what might be coming up for us is not so personal. Even though, of course, it feels personal. It feels like, "Well, this is my grief, I'm feeling it," and yet we can acknowledge that there is more in the causes and conditions. It is experienced in this being in this time, and yet there is a lot more in the global conditionality of the way this wave, this emotion, is moving through this body, this mind, this heart at this given time.

That realization can provide some grounding, and also it can provide some grounding in community—this global community of all the beings on this planet who are affected in various ways, to feel connected to them through your pain, through the sadness, through the anxiety, as well as through the beautiful emotions that can come up.

The other side of it is that as we experience our lives, as we feel grounded in our bodies and in our hearts, as we take a bird's-eye view and are not so confined to the experience from this limited aperture that is our individual life, it's actually magnificent. It's amazing to be alive at this time. There is a Chinese curse: "May you live in interesting times." This is a very interesting time. It's a fascinating time. And if, even for a split second, we are able not to take it personally but just to open the aperture of our view into all of humanity: Wow, we are living! We have the privilege. This being is going to come and go. We all die. Our lives on this planet are like a split second in the cosmic clock, and yet here we are having a front-row seat to what is happening globally in this amazing, incredible wave of humanity. How us humans are stepping up. How we are facing fear. How we are facing our own mortality. How we are facing our own lack of control. To really see this as awe-inspiring and, as someone said, to trust life.

I also appreciate what Susie is bringing up in the chat about the senseless deaths, and that they would not have happened had there not been, in the words of Noam Chomsky^[2], "gangsters and sociopaths running governments." Yes, and. Yes, and.

What I'm saying is not to obviate that and say, "Oh yeah, let's just be in awe of what's happening and chill out as if you were taking drugs." That's not the point I'm making, so I appreciate Susie bringing it up. It's the both/and. By actually taking the cosmic view, the larger view, it can help us have a larger sense of stability and get out of ourselves, to get out of the fear and desperateness and the selfing that can happen.

With this sense of awe and appreciation, we can actually be empowered to take action, to face the challenge. It's not about condoning what is happening. It's not about putting our heads in the sand of cosmic awe. It's that by actually having the bird's-eye view, by not getting stuck in our personal suffering and the global sense of what's going on, it actually allows for a sense of spaciousness and stability to take action and not get stuck in anger, not get stuck in fear, not get stuck in overwhelm, as best as possible.

I'm offering this as a way to actually become more empowered to be an agent, to have agency in the world, to do something in the way of facing both our challenges and supporting the people we care about. Because if we are overwhelmed in fear and anger, we don't have the stability to do anything productive, to be of help to anybody. That is the container in which I'm offering the sense of popping out from the personal to the universal so that we can have more stability to actually have power, to be empowered to support and to act for what is happening for us and others. But, we need the stability first.

Reflections and Buddhānusmṛti

So, the practice that we did together tonight is inspired by what's called the practice of Buddhānusmṛti^[3], which is recollecting the qualities of the Buddha. You can think of the Buddha as the historic Buddha, or you can think of it as your inner Buddha, the goodness within. Recollecting your own ability for stability, resilience, and this sense of confidence of the half-smile, the contentment. And tapping into that.

As modern science and neuroscience suggest, "fake it until you become it." So, many times, even if we don't feel it, we act that way. We invite it, and surprise, surprise, we might actually find that we do have more stability.

Perhaps in this practice, as I was inviting you, a visitor came up to you, one of the challenging emotions you've been dealing with. Loneliness came up, and maybe you smiled at it: "Here I am. Hello, loneliness. Hi." Smile. Or, "Hello, fear," or, "Hello, anxiety. Hello, worry about the future. Hi. I'm feeling perhaps a little bit more stability and groundedness, resilience."

I'm curious if you would like to share just a simple word or phrase about what might be coming up for you right now. I'll read out what you may like to offer.

I feel warm. Kindness. Resting in the middle of things. Smiling. Nice.

I forgot about the smiling Buddha. Nice. There is confidence in that. The confidence of the smiling Buddha.

Peace is another offering. Beautiful. Thank you.

My face doesn't hurt anymore. Nice. Beautiful.

Curious, hopeful. Thank you, beautiful. Thank you.

Community Practice and Q&A

This time we usually get into small groups for some community practice (Sangha^[4]), and it's really beautiful to connect with other practitioners after having sat together to just share for a couple of minutes: How are you? How was the practice for you? How are you in this moment? As I've said before, the way that you show up on your Zoom meetings for work is very different from the way people show up in the small groups, and it can be very heartwarming and connecting, just a beautiful way of Sangha community.

I'm going to create the breakout rooms and they'll just go for a few minutes. If you decide it's not for you tonight, it's okay, you can bow out. If you want to do that right now, I invite you to do that now before creating the Zoom rooms. And if you'd like to challenge yourself and stay to check it out, please do that also.

[Breakout rooms close]

Welcome back. All the rooms are closed. So we have a couple of minutes maybe just for one or two quick reflections about the practice tonight, either in community or the guided meditation. Especially if you haven't joined before, if you haven't spoken before, you're invited to raise your hand. Okay, I'm going to unmute you quickly. Go ahead.

Participant 1: Yeah, today in the sharing, I noticed that just listening to one of the incidents shared by one of the group members, I really felt—actually that incident was very delightful for that person, joyful—and just listening to that, really listening to that, I felt a sense of selflessness and I was able to tune into the delight and be part of it. That was really wonderful.

Nikki Mirghafori: Beautiful. Thank you for sharing that. Any other reflections? Either about community practice or what you found out from the guided meditation, perhaps. Any complaints, anything that worked, anything that didn't work, anything is welcome.

Participant 2: Can you hear me? Yes. So for me, what worked very well is imagining that the Buddha will be happy knowing that we are practicing and we are meditating. Whenever someone praises me—if it's my manager, I'm happy. If it's my director, I'm very happy. And if it's my vice president, I'd be very, very happy. But if the Buddha is going to be happy with what I'm doing, then that is something really good.

Nikki Mirghafori: Lovely. Sweet. Thanks for sharing that. Beautiful.

Well, thank you both for sharing your reflections. It's 7:00, so I will end at this point, thanking you for showing up tonight, for practicing in community, for showing up for each other, and showing up for yourself. And may your practice be of support for yourself and for all beings everywhere. May it be a cause and condition for lots of goodness in the world.

Thank you all. I'm going to stay an extra 10 minutes in case there are any questions or something that came up, but I'm going to formally end the meeting. Thank you so much. Take care. Be well.