This is an AI-generated transcript from auto-generated subtitles for the video above. It likely contains inaccuracies, especially with speaker attribution if there are multiple speakers.

Mindful Letting Go (5 of 5) Liberating Absence and Relinquishment

So with this talk, we come to the end of the week on mindful letting go. Letting go is really central to the Buddhist path of awakening, together with clarity—clear mindfulness and awareness of what's happening. The two go hand in hand because the more we let go of our preoccupations and hindrances, the clearer we can see. We can see the ways in which we continue to be attached or continue to obscure fuller clarity. These two together represent the deepening aspects of the Buddhist path to freedom.

This seesaw goes back and forth between letting go—allowing something to release—seeing more clearly, and then further release. The deepest release happens when there's an equanimous and relaxed clarity. There's been so much letting go already that the threads of attachment, clinging, and holding on are so thin that it's relatively easy for them to let go on their own. We can let go into this wonderful absence and liberation.

The ultimate kind of awakening is usually defined by what is absent: the absence of attachment, clinging, preoccupation, greed, hatred, and delusion. That's the common definition of liberation—what's absent. But it's an absence which is phenomenally significant for people.

We know that absences are very important for human beings. A common one is when someone dies; their absence is really felt acutely, maybe for the rest of one's life. But also, if something unfortunate has been happening to one—say they've been really sick, physically limited in some way for a long time, and then somehow there's a cure and they become free of that. Because of how long they were limited by their illness, that freedom from illness—the absence of illness—is so significant. It brings a sense of joy, delight, excitement, gratitude, and appreciation. Maybe the person never forgets that the illness is no longer there; there's an absence.

So also with awakening. There is an absence on the way to awakening. There are all these little movements of letting go, of releasing, of putting down, of opening up that go on. Part of what we can be mindful of is that absence that follows letting go and releasing. That absence can be a teacher; it can show us where we're still attached.

They say that as people get more and more free, they become more and more sensitive to even the slightest attachment and clinging that goes on. We let go into that absence, and the absence becomes a teacher. The absence also begins to work on us if it is powerful enough to leave the absence present—to really have something like hatred disappear, cynicism disappear, jealousy disappear, envy disappear. All kinds of things can disappear that have been a burden, a soreness, and an ache for a long time. If it's really thorough, that feeling left of absence, of freedom from it, is almost like a little bit of space has been created—space in the heart, space in the mind, and space in the body.

That space then becomes a teacher, a guide, or even feels like a force inside to expand that space, to expand that openness, to expand that non-clinging. When that letting go and practice is strong enough, something happens inside; there's a shift. Letting go no longer becomes something we do and choose, but rather becomes a movement of momentum that has its own life within us.

It's like we've entered into the current of a river, and the current will carry us downstream. We enter into the current of freedom, the current of absence, this current of space and openness. It begins—if we tune into it and recognize it, or even if we don't tune into it but it tunes into us—to have a movement to keep expanding, opening, and letting go. It is a momentum, a movement towards greater and greater freedom where we are the recipient of it, where we ride along. We're no longer the active doer, except to keep opening to it.

It's possible to have some significant letting go and freedom, and then get preoccupied in the world and have very little space for that inner momentum. It still operates, but much more slowly. It's also possible to become aware of it and to make space for it, to give time for it, so that it can have more breathing room to do its work—to keep freeing us, keeping us opening up.

Absence becomes very important in Buddhism; it's part of the movement towards freedom. Absence is also important because of how it frees up vitality, energy, attention, presence, compassion, and wisdom. All kinds of things can flow. When they flow through that emptiness, or out of that emptiness, through that freedom, they have a clear sense that they're not exactly personal. It's difficult to say, "This is mine or me," because we're not the agent; we're not exactly responsible for it. It's happening almost in spite of whatever self-identity and self-conceit we have—our ideas of being the subject and agent for our lives. The Dharma is moving through us; freedom is moving through us, and freedom is not something we can appropriate for the self.

Relinquishment

On the way, as we get some sense of freedom and letting go that's significant, there is one further movement related to letting go that's very important. I like to use the word relinquishment to represent this form of letting go, this aspect of it. Relinquishment does mean a kind of letting go, but in my vocabulary, I think of relinquishment as a clear, mature, wise choice. To relinquish something is more than just letting it go and letting it drop; relinquishment is a conscious act of giving something up. The Pali word for relinquishment also means generosity, to give^[1].

So it's "giving over." If we say "give up," it can seem like we're surrendering or just dropping something. But if we give over, then there's a clear choice to give something over. Relinquishment involves a choice.

Sometimes as the practice goes along and letting go deepens, we can let go of things a little bit, or maybe they let go temporarily but they come back. Our attachments keep returning. But we've had a taste of freedom from particular attachments—enough of a taste. So then there can be a choice: "I'm going to relinquish this. I no longer stand behind this. I no longer interested in this."

On one hand, there's a movement of freedom that we're not the agent of, and we allow it to happen. We don't rely on that only, but we certainly allow for it, and that grows over time. But we also, if we want, in a mature and wise way, reflect and consider our lives, what our attachments are, and what we're holding on to. We can make a choice. We can have a commitment, a devotion, a dedication, a clear statement: "I now relinquish this," meaning, "I don't stand behind it, I don't believe it anymore, I'm not going to invest in it." It might not mean that we stop doing it because of the power of habit, but for the heart to choose, to make a vow or a commitment—not because it's a duty to do so, but because we know better. We know where we want to live. We know what we don't want to be doing anymore.

So there's also that choice. There's this wonderful combination of that which we open up to when we let go—that freedom from self, freedom from the doer—and the mature, wise choice that we make to do something differently.

I hope that this week on mindful letting go has inspired you, and that I've been able to talk about it in such a way that you don't feel letting go is a drag, a diminishment, or a loss. Rather, letting go is a gain, an enhancement. In some ways, you become stronger. Something inside of you becomes stronger, fuller, and maybe more powerful. They say that when someone is fully liberated, there is a kind of power in that freedom that comes through that freedom.

May you let go wisely, and may you discover all the benefits that can come from such letting go. Thank you.