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Happy Hour: Independence, Freedom, and Interdependence

Introduction

Hello and welcome, everyone. I am so happy to be with you, to see you, and to practice together on this day observing Independence Day in the US.

The topic of independence can have many different connotations. Of course, in this context celebrated here as independence, it means having autonomy, being able to have the autonomy to make one's own choices. In the Dharma and our practice, the theme of independence can show up in many ways.

One is to have independence—autonomy through practice—from what are called the three poisonous roots^[1]: greed, hatred, and delusion, so that we have autonomy from them and are not bound by them. Something arises, some thought arises in the mind, and all of a sudden greed arises; we need to have it, we want to have it, or we hate it and want to make it go away. It is as if we're in bondage. When we don't have autonomy, it seems like we are on a leash to greed, hatred, and delusion. That's one way I like to think of independence in the Dharma.

There are other senses of independence in the Dharma. When one actually practices for a while, the practice becomes the path, and life becomes practice interchangeably. A sense of trust in the practice arises. A sense of autonomy arises, actually. One has complete faith and trust that these practices actually work. I am freer; I have more freedom. Again, freedom in the Dharmic sense isn't freedom to go and wreak havoc and do whatever, but it's freedom from these bondages of greed, hatred, and delusion in the mind and heart that come up and make us reactive.

Also, Kim Allen, who is one of the teachers at IMC, gave a lovely talk about other nuances of independence in the Dharma on Sunday, yesterday, and that's on AudioDharma for any of you who would like to listen to it.

Having acknowledged this idea of independence in the Dharma—independence from greed, hatred, and delusion—one way of practicing, which is what we cultivate here in Happy Hour, is the practices of the heart. These are liberating practices that attenuate greed, hatred, and delusion. They especially attenuate hatred: self-hatred, hatred of others, self-judgment, criticism, and all these bondages of the mind. These habitual patterns can bring up a lot of sadness, depression, and anxiety. They can bring up a sense that you're imprisoned in your own mind and your own life because of these prisons that we habitually create in our own hearts and minds.

Sometimes we can step out and look at our way of thinking and go, "Huh, that wasn't very helpful. What was I thinking?" Ah, the sense of freedom when you step out of yourself, when you step out of habitual ways of thinking that may not be supportive or helpful.

With that, another thing I want to bring into our practice is the theme of interdependence. Independence always brings up a sense of interdependence. The more we become independent in the Dharma, the more we become fully aware of our interdependence with other beings, with the people we love and the people we don't like. We see our interdependence with all beings. So independence in the Dharma brings up a sense of interdependence with all beings everywhere. I am because you are; you are because I am. Our happiness, our goodness, and our freedom are dependent on each other, which is similar to the concept of Ubuntu^[2] in South African culture: "I am because you are."

Alright, I've said plenty. That is the setting for our practice tonight, and I'll weave some of these themes together and allow silent space stretches for us to explore. So without further ado, dear ones, let's get into our practice together.

Guided Meditation

Ah, landing. Landing into our body. Landing with a sense of recognition of this moment, the recognition of this body. Turning our gaze inward.

Allowing the breath, the entirety of the in-breath, and especially the entirety of the out-breath, making space for the next in-breath to be soothing, calming, to connect. To arrive and land in this body. With each in-breath and out-breath on their own, breathing, being breathed.

Noticing that your mind can have malleability in this moment as you invite it to connect with the breath. Being calm, settled, soothed. To have a sense of independence, even if for a moment, from habitual thoughts and patterns of mind. A sense of freedom. Freed for a moment.

Ah, releasing, letting go. As if thoughts are the fireworks of the mind, letting them go. Ah, burst, and in between there's stillness, silence. Freedom. Independence from habitual patterns of the mind, even for just a moment. And then tying these little moments together.

Letting go. Ah, releasing, releasing. Not that there is anything wrong with thinking, but in this moment, giving our heart, giving ourselves completely to this practice. Steadily quieting the mind, receiving each breath. Celebrating independence from habitual thoughts. Putting them down with respect, with kindness. Claiming our autonomy, our independence in this moment.

Noticing the freedom that arises when you notice thoughts or habitual patterns and kindly, gently, smilingly let go. Ah, the peace, the ease, the freedom that shows up in the body, the heart, and the mind. Observing sitting or lying, being where you are in this moment.

Noticing that it's dependent, dependent on gravity. Noticing the contact points between your bottom and the cushion, your feet and the floor, your lower legs as you're sitting on the floor, contacting the earth. And how this body is dependent on the air that we're all breathing in this moment. Interdependence. Appreciation, gratitude for this gift of the air, life-giving breath.

There are so many processes in this body, so many processes that work—even if there may not be full health at this moment, or there is some pain—but so many processes work interdependently with one another. Appreciating, appreciating all the interdependence of the processes of this body. They depend on each other: hearts and lungs, the lungs bringing oxygen, the heart pumping blood, and so many systems interdependently working.

And this body is interdependent on the food and the air. The food this body eats to sustain itself: the earth, the land, the sun, and the water that helps produce the food. The farmers, the drivers, the shippers, all the infrastructure, the store, in a town, the country, in the world.

And all the people who have a part to play in the food that sustains us. Every bit touching every piece of what supports us. The clothes we wear, the technology we're using to connect right now to practice together. And all the people, all the beings we have depended on. All the people who have nurtured us, cared for us, who've challenged us, pushed our buttons so we grow. We came into this world as a helpless baby, a helpless newborn. So much interdependence, so much to be grateful for that has sustained us, that we have contributed to, and continue to contribute to—people whose lives we touch directly or indirectly.

Gratitude. Awe. A sense of awe. Stepping outside of ourselves for a moment, as if we're looking at this planet, this universe, with all these beings interconnected, all these systems interconnected. A sense of awe. Amazing, stepping out of ourselves. This being that is us is deeply connected, not an island. Deeply, deeply connected, even if we feel disconnected. As a physicist once said, in order to make apple pie, you need to create the whole universe first.

Allowing a sense of gratitude and appreciation to arise from a sense of awe. And all that appreciation turned around and radiated through the whole world with goodwill, wishes of well-being for all beings in this interconnected web of life. All the critters, including ourselves. May all beings be well. May all beings be well, including this being that is myself, in this interdependent web of life. You're welcome to do mettā^[3] with phrases if you wish, or just radiate goodwill and friendliness all around, touching yourself first.

Wishing well for all the beings in all these interdependent ecosystems. All the plankton in the sea that serves as food and sustenance for other organisms. All the fish. All the little critters that crawl and hop and slither. All the mammals. All four-legged creatures. All two-legged creatures. All creatures that fly. You can choose particular creatures if you wish, to wish well for. May you be safe, happy, healthy, and have ease.

Your interdependence with your family of origin. Your interdependence with so many chosen families, communities, and sanghas^[4]. May all be well.

For the last moment of this practice, let's step outside of ourselves for a moment again, as if we're looking at ourselves. Our life is our interconnection, our interdependence. We're not an island. Letting that interdependence fill our heart with appreciation for all the ways we receive and all the ways we give. Acknowledging the giving too: the way this person you're watching, yourself, is a good friend to someone, perhaps a sibling of someone, a colleague of someone, and so many other functions.

Bowing to the inner goodness of this sharing, giving, and receiving. And stepping back into yourself. May all beings everywhere be well. May all beings everywhere be free.

Thank you.

Reflections

So, we explored a couple of themes today. In the guided meditation, we started with the theme of independence. Independence and freedom from habitual tendencies of thoughts and reactivities. Putting them down, releasing them. Ah, landing in the sense of freedom and independence from those thoughts and habitual patterns. Even for a split second, feeling that sense of freedom and peace.

Then we turned to feeling interdependence. The interdependence of this body on gravity and breath, all the interdependencies inside this body, all these intricate processes. And the interdependence of this being on so many processes externally, so many beings externally. And from that place of awe, allowing mettā, loving-kindness, and goodwill to shine for all these beings who are just like us; they want to be well, acknowledging our interdependence.

I'd love to invite your reflections on what you've noticed in this practice today, for both your own benefit—to be witnessed—and for the benefit of the sangha. When you share your practice, whether it's something that you discovered, it's a gift to others. Or it could be a question, a challenge: "This didn't quite work," or "This was hard." That is also a gift, definitely a gift, because you can trust that other practitioners will either have a similar question or have had it.

You're welcome to raise your Zoom hand. Especially if you haven't shared in a while, I'd like to encourage you to speak up. You can also type in the chat, and you can type to everyone if you wish, in which case I'll read it out loud and say your name. If it's just typed to me privately in the chat, I will not say your name, but I will just read out the reflection for the benefit of the sangha.

So, what did you notice? How was this practice for you, this practice of independence in the Dharma as well as interdependence? Did a sense of awe perhaps arise, or an overwhelming feeling? That can come up too in this practice, a sense of goodness.

Jerry says in the chat, "The interdependence seemed amazing." Jerry, I'd love to invite you to say more, if you would, about what you mean by amazing. If you could unmute yourself now, please tell me what arose for you.

Jerry: Well, I got the interdependence part when you started thinking of the plankton and everything else in the universe. It made me think of the earth as a sort of organism, and we're just part of that organism, or maybe the whole universe. It really became quite powerful to think about all the biochemical reactions that happened in the last second—probably in the millions—in our body. That's at the granular level. And then you look interdependently and you think, "Wow, we're not an island." And of course, with things facing the world nowadays, from COVID to climate change, it makes it seem even more real. It seemed amazing in terms of its breadth, and also in terms of the patterns. Like in nature you see fractals, all of these things that you just go, "How does this all happen?" It just happens. So I was in awe.

Nikki: Thank you. Beautiful. Thank you, Jerry, and thanks for sharing your sense of awe that arose. Beautiful to witness. Thank you for sharing that.

A few more reflections in the chat. Someone shared, "I appreciate feeling connected even when we feel disconnected. I have been feeling disconnected. It's nice to not also feel like a failure for it." Thank you for sharing that. Yes, it's okay to feel disconnected. That is part of being human. It's part of being human, and not to feel like a failure for it. It's okay. It's alright.

Casey says, "Yes, agree with Jerry. Felt a lot of gratitude as you named different examples of interdependence." Thanks, Casey.

And Mark says, "Thank you to all beings in all countries of this world who sustain my life through our interdependence. I am grateful, and thank you Nikki." And thank you, Mark, for coming and practicing in this sangha. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for all of you being here, practicing. This is part of our interdependence here. We co-create Happy Hour together, don't forget that.

Claire says, "Love thinking of letting go of negative thoughts as a path to freedom." Yes. Yes, absolutely beautiful.

So dear ones, on this day of observing independence and interdependence, let us practice in small groups to create interdependence. Let's show up just as you are. For just six minutes or so, you will be in these small groups interacting with each other, co-creating a sense of connection. It's so precious to just connect with fellow human beings from around the world. I'm so touched by this sangha. We'll share goodwill for just a few minutes. I'll create the breakout rooms, and let's always start with fifteen seconds of silent mettā for one another. Then you can share as little or as much as you like with each other about your practice. Care for yourselves and for each other in kindness and interdependence. The other human beings in your room are just like you, so care for each other in this way. All right, I'm opening the rooms. Here we go.

(After the breakout rooms...)

Okay everyone, welcome back to the main circle. We have a couple of minutes for any reflections on what you discovered in your groups. Especially if you haven't shared in a while, we'd love to hear from you. You can either type in the chat or raise your Zoom hand so I can see you. What did you discover? Any questions or comments? Do you feel more connected, interconnected? Anyone feel more interconnected after Happy Hour? Yes, I see a few thumbs up. That's great. Yes, Richard, please.

Richard: Can you hear me? In my mornings at Barre with Bill and Susan Morgan, they've been discussing the contrast between dukkha^[5] and sukha^[6] the last few days. This sit reminded me of the sukha side of that equation.

Nikki: Nice. So for those who don't know those words, dukkha is suffering, challenges, pain; it is what's difficult. And sukha is the opposite of dukkha. You can think of it like sugar—sukha. I think they have a similar etymological background. Sukha is what's pleasant in the mind and what's pleasant in the body. So sukha and dukkha play the opposite of each other. And Richard, you're saying that this sit reminded you, or was more filled with sukha for you, of pleasantness in the mind and the body. Anything in particular that brought that up?

Richard: Your presence always brings me sukha.

Nikki: Oh, sending you mettā, Richard. [Laughter]

Violet says in the chat, "Nice to connect with the group on the theme of independence and loneliness." Thank you, Violet, thank you for sharing that. Yes, independence and loneliness. A very profound theme.

Susan says, "I felt very connected to my small group. It was lovely to know others feel similar."

I'm really touched by all of those comments. I think in particular the theme of independence and loneliness is a really important one; maybe we'll pick that up later.

Thank you all so much for your practice. Thank you for your devotion, your dedication, and your kindness in cultivating your goodness to benefit all beings everywhere. May all beings be happy. May all beings be safe. May all beings be free.

Thank you.