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Happy Hour: Metta as a Lullaby

Introduction

A warm welcome to every single one of us, wherever you are in the world. For the theme of today's practice, I wanted to offer us an exploration of a simple mettā^[1]. We will leave a lot of silent space in the practice time today. Of course, there are so many different ways to explore mettā, cultivating kindness and goodwill, but the invitation I had for this exploration is exploring warmth and kindness for ourselves at the beginning of this practice as if mettā is the sweetest, most soothing, comforting lullaby.

We will explore mettā as if we're being cradled, as if we're being sung to by this loving being. For some of you, there might be early memories of lullabies being sung to you, bringing a sense of soothing and comforting. You can access that. If that's not part of what's available, no problem. Maybe you have sung a soothing song or a love song to someone, a child or someone else; maybe that would be the way. And if not, then here you can access your favorite imagined lullaby or soothing love song being sung for yourself as a way of healing, supporting, and loving this being that is you.

Basically, the invitation is to conjure up and explore the auditory or felt sense of mettā when somebody sings to someone in the way of a lullaby. It's an act of care; it's an act of love. Can you invoke in yourself a lullaby of mettā? It could be with words or it could be wordless. I really invite you to find your own way. Each of us will have a different approach. I'll have some invitations, and your way into this might be different. You might remember your favorite song on the radio, imagining it being sung to you, bringing you peace and ease as an act of love from the universe.

There are so many different ways we can explore this. I invite you to be creative. Mettā is supposed to be creative! In mindfulness cultivation, you observe things exactly as they are. When cultivating friendliness with mettā, you use skillful means to be creative.

Guided Meditation

Without further ado, I'd like to invite you all to get into your meditation posture. If you need to shift and move, if you need to sit up straighter, or maybe you need to lie down—whatever your unique body needs in this moment. Be responsive to what your body needs, and settle.

Settle into your sit bones. Settle into the legs, the feet, landing into this body, the touch points of the lower parts of the body.

If there are balloons of thought coming up—and yes, many balloons of thought can come up—it is not a problem. Let go. Release your hand, imagining these helium balloons of thought floating away. As they float away, you feel lighter, and you can land more wholeheartedly into this moment, into your practice.

Receive the breath in the abdomen, one breath at a time. Inviting your whole body to relax and soften with each out-breath. Spend some time to settle, enjoying and appreciating the rhythm and the sensations of the breath.

Again, if balloons of thought are arising, smile at them and let them go in this moment. Notice the breath. Being here, right here, right now, is so much more fulfilling and nourishing. Attending to what's right here, right now. The simplicity of the breath can be so much more fulfilling and nourishing than any thought in the past or the future.

If there are still more thoughts arising, imagine you're putting them on an altar, offering them up where there is the Buddha, Kuan Yin^[2], and other benevolent, compassionate beings who will hold it for you, with you, until you can come back to it later. You can offer it up for the benevolent beings with infinite compassion to hold and carry the burden with you and for you for now. Just come back to the simplicity of the breath being nourishing, the entire in-breath, the entire out-breath, connecting with it.

As you receive the breath, in-breath and out-breath, imagine that the breath itself is a soothing lullaby. The breath is singing this loving music, this loving rhythm. Simple, calming, and nurturing.

Feel the vibrations of this lullaby reverberating through the whole body, bringing a sense of care and love, as if you're nourished from within. There is nothing you need to do; it's already here for you. There's nothing you have to do in order to deserve it or not deserve it. You're a living, breathing human being. Being human is hard enough. This nourishing care, this message of love, this breath is yours, calming your body and soothing your heart. Allow it to do that. Get out of your own way, just letting the lullaby of the breath soothe your heart, soothe your body, and caress your mind with each breath.

For many of us, this wordless lullaby of the breath felt within, reverberating in our body, is enough. If you wish to experiment with adding the felt sense or a memory of a lullaby that was sung to you, or one you have sung, or your favorite soothing, calming love song, and you'd like to shower yourself with the care, the warmth, and the love of that too, you're welcome to add that also. Or not. You decide what's best for you.

Just receiving, feeling yourself held, your body relaxed and soft. Just receiving as best as you are able to. A soothing, loving lullaby sung to you with care and love, beyond time and space. Let yourself receive it.

You can continue with receiving if you wish, or if you like, you can bring to mind someone you care about with whom you don't have a complicated relationship. It could be a pet, or a child, or maybe imagining someone when they were younger. Imagine them perhaps lying down, wanting to sleep, maybe not feeling well, and you're singing a loving lullaby to them. Maybe with words, or maybe just silently holding presence, caring for them, wishing them ease, well-being, and sweet dreams. Maybe the mettā, this lullaby, is just your breathing by their bedside. Or maybe there are words or a song. See what works for you. Share your goodwill, your mettā, this lullaby for this dear being.

And for the last minute or two, if you wish, imagine as if you were singing this lullaby for all the beings in the world. Gently, ever so gently. Or maybe it's wordless, just breathing. Your lullaby is the sound of your breath, sharing it with the whole world. This lullaby wishing all beings goodness: May they have ease. This gentle, loving lullaby is your gift, your offering to the world from your heart. A song of peace, a song of friendship, a song of kindness and care, of goodwill, friendliness, and mettā. Our unique song, the way only we can sing it. May it be of benefit to ourselves, to others, and to all beings everywhere.

Reflections

Thank you for your practice. I'd like to open up for reflections. You can type them in the chat or you can raise your blue hand. I would love to hear if you want to share anything about this practice and how it was for you.

Christiana says, "Thank you." You're welcome, Christiana.

I'll share with you that for me, it became a very tender practice. I started to actually feel and imagine my mom singing me a lullaby. I remember when I was very young, maybe three or four, she used to sing me a lullaby, and tap, tap, tap, and she would fall asleep. I so liked her singing lullabies that I would wake her up, and then she would sing some more, and then she would fall asleep again. At some point, even with my young mind, I realized she must be tired, so I wouldn't wake her up. I would just think myself to sleep. It felt very tender to feel her singing the lullaby.

When she passed away two and a half years ago, on her deathbed, I was singing her the same lullaby, putting her to sleep. It became a very emotional practice for me, but very nourishing nevertheless. I would love to hear from you what the practice was like for you.

Neil says, "Thank you for sharing that." You're welcome, thank you, Neil.

Shila says, "Thank you, very peaceful." You're welcome, Shila.

Jerry, please go ahead.

Jerry: Well, I've been away from this group which I missed for the past week. A lullaby was actually the experience I had, and I was falling asleep, so I was having to wake up! But the experience was very nourishing. I was thinking of having excitement that my hospital is starting to vaccinate on Tuesday with the BioNTech and Pfizer vaccine. At the same time, feeling bathed by good wishes by others, and then wishing others good wishes. It was very soothing, and at the same time, settling. It was really quite a remarkable moment. I felt gratitude for all the people working together to achieve these sorts of things to turn the world in another way. Thank you.

Nikki: Lovely. Thank you, Jerry. Thank you for sharing that, and it's lovely to have you back.

Claire shares in chat, "Yes, thank you. I was actually remembering my daughter who died five years ago."

Nikki: Thank you, Claire. Thank you for sharing that. Paula, please go ahead.

Paula: I was thinking about when my youngest son was a baby, and I used to sing this lullaby to him that I just made up. He's now 26 and he's a grown-up. Something came up recently where I was humming the song, and he said, "Oh yeah Mom, that's the lullaby you used to sing to me when I was a baby." I had no idea! I mean, he was an infant. I sang to both of my sons when they were babies, but just the thought of a lullaby is so sweet, kind, and gentle. I loved your story of your singing to your mom, Nikki. Thank you for sharing that.

Nikki: Thank you, Paula. Thank you for sharing your practice and your story with your son, and how he remembers being sung to when he was so young. It's amazing how we can remember.

Dear ones, it's time to invite ourselves to practice together in breakout rooms. Especially in light of what was shared at the beginning of the hour, really lean into mettā. Really lean into the soothing quality for yourself and others, respecting each other and boundaries. It's an opportunity for practicing care and mettā. I'm going to stay a few minutes afterwards if anybody wants to process what has come up. The invitation as always is to hold each other as if you were singing a lullaby to yourself and to the others in the practice breakout room with you. What would that be like? I am going to create the rooms now.

[Breakout rooms commence]

Welcome back, everyone. We have a couple of minutes if you'd like to share any reflections about the practice.

Wendy shares, "Remembering Mr. Fred Rogers and all the songs he sung and brought goodness, comfort, and peace with."

Nikki: Lovely, thank you for that. Yes, so many great songs of mettā and goodwill by Mr. Rogers. I would love to hear how the practice was for you. As you share from the groups, it's great to just share from your own experience to respect other people's privacy.

Charley says, "It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood."

Nikki: That's sweet. Thanks, Charley. Thanks for invoking that, love it. Ariana, please.

Ariana: Hello. I'm a little anxious to share, but it was maybe the most emotional sit I think I've had in this group before. Lots of memories—not necessarily good—attached to the idea of a lullaby. And then your share at the end was just really tender. So that's all.

Nikki: Thank you, Ariana, for the courage to speak up and say how tender this was for you. I think the idea of a lullaby—this auditory channel—can bring up so much for us in ways that maybe we're not in touch with. So holding yourself with care, which is the idea of this whole practice anyway. Thank you for sharing.

Dana says, "Hearing other people's stories about their lullabies really made me also live through their memories."

Nikki: Sweet. Appreciate that. The memory that I shared, and how this practice was for me... there was a sense of presence. I felt quite present, as if my mom from the beyond is continuing to sing a lullaby to me right now. Receiving that love, receiving that affection and care that is timeless. And also the memory of singing the lullaby to her at her deathbed, as singing it to her now, and sharing my love and my appreciation in this form of a lullaby. It feels quite present still, not a thinking about the past, but really a present giving and receiving of mettā through this. I see Claire's hand is up. Claire, please.

Claire: I just wanted to share how different our lives can be. [Laughter] All my elders sang opera, so the lullabies I heard at night were people singing quartets and sextets from downstairs that floated up. I actually know a lot about opera that I never really studied; I'm sure it's from that experience. It was sweet in its own way!

Nikki: Absolutely! That makes me happy. Lullabies come in so many different shapes and sizes. Some come in operatic form; I love it. Thanks for sharing that, Claire. Beautiful.

So dear ones, it is time to bring our session to a close. Thank you for your practice and your cultivation of mettā, goodwill, and kindness. Receiving it for yourself and sharing it with others. May it be of benefit. Wait, I see Charley's hand is up. Could you unmute yourself?

Vivian: Oh, it's actually not him, it's Vivian! Hi! I love you guys! I hope you have a great day!

Nikki: Thank you, Vivian! Thank you so much, that was so sweet. Thanks for sharing that. May you all have a great day. With that, thank you all for your practice. Deep bows.