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Guided Meditation: Mudita Samadhi 5

Hello and welcome to this guided meditation on an immersion in sympathetic joy, appreciative joy. And this idea of samadhi^[1], when we're focusing on samadhi, it's best to stay close to what makes it easy to get concentrated, easy to get fully involved in what we're doing.

Classically, the teachings on appreciative joy, the progression of it, we would move now into doing appreciative joy for what was called the... No, hang on. A lot of buttons to push here.

In continuing with appreciative joy, and doing it in a mudita^[2] samadhi—entering into deeper immersion or giving yourself over fully to this practice without distractions—it helps to have a focus of samadhi that is uncomplicated, in terms of being emotionally uncomplicated. While the classic or traditional way of practicing over a long period of time is to eventually start including what's called the "enemy"—in modern English, we often say the "difficult person"—and that's invaluable practice to do, to continue this week's emphasis on samadhi, we're going to go on to the next level. And maybe it can be more inspiring and more engaging. And that is appreciative joy for all beings. So, radiating it in 360 degrees all around.

What's particularly special about "all beings" is that you are included. Each of us is part of all beings. When we're doing this for all beings, we're doing it for each other, but also we're doing it for ourselves. The fascinating part about Buddhist spirituality is that there's not a sharp line between self and others. There's an idea that if we are benefiting ourselves in a healthy, spiritual way, that's going to benefit others. If we're benefiting others in a healthy, spiritual way, that's going to benefit ourselves. There's a mutuality, a feedback loop.

For some people, it's nice to begin with oneself and have it radiate outwards. For others, it's nice to begin for all beings and then begin including oneself in that. Eventually, it's all beings and oneself. Oneself and all beings.

Part of the advantage of having appreciative joy for oneself—wanting our own well-being, recognizing it where it's there, recognizing what's going well in our life, what we're capable of, what benefits we have, what we're grateful for, really appreciating that and letting the joy and pleasure of that touch us deeply—is that as we do that, we'll understand better and have a better capacity to have empathy and resonance with the goodness of others. We can recognize what's going well for others, and have a more abundant appreciative joy to share with them, wishing them well. And vice versa.

So, assume a meditation posture and close the eyes.

Perhaps begin with oneself. Appreciate what is going well for you. What are you grateful for? What are you glad is happening that you might overlook? It could be something as simple as the weather, or that you have running water and flush toilets. We take these things for granted in our society. But in my grandparents' age, or my mother's age when she was growing up, there were no flush toilets, and no showers.

The relative ease of finding food for many of us is phenomenal, that we don't have to go scraping. I hear stories from my parents' youth of people starving and eating birch bark.

Appreciate what is going well. What can bring you some joy, light, and maybe some satisfaction in your life? Maybe it's as simple as the opportunity to sit and meditate right now. The opportunity to have a more heightened sensitivity to your own body than you do when being busy and distracted in life. With that sensitivity, maybe also a sensitivity to your heart. Everyone has somewhere inside a good heart, a good center. Appreciate that. Or if you feel like you're not in touch with it, borrow my confidence that you have it.

Taking a few deeper breaths. Feel the real rhythm of the body expanding, contracting as you exhale. Almost like listening to the rhythm of music or poetry. Take these deeper breaths with a nice, calm, relaxed rhythm. Not too deep, not too full. Relaxing on the exhale. On the inhale, connect to what you appreciate, value, and treasure that's going well for you. Maybe it's what's going well that you take for granted. Maybe it's going well because it's very special and unusual. As you breathe in, feel the warmth, the delight, the gladness from that. As you exhale in this rhythm of breathing—this poetic rhythm—relax into that joy, that pleasure.

Let your breathing return to normal. Continue with this—if it makes sense for you—poetic rhythm of breathing in and out. Maybe ever so slightly the exhale is longer than usual, extended in a relaxed way, so you can relax into the pleasures and joys of appreciative joy for what's going well for you. In extending the exhale, let your discursive mind become quiet, so there's more space in awareness to feel and sense the joy.

Then, with yourself as a reference, extend your care out into the world to all beings, to all humans. May all humans experience gratitude and appreciation. May they find joy and delight in the small gifts of life that come their way, with what's going well, with what's working. May all beings' capacity for joy, success, and happiness visit them and abide in them. May it continue in them like it is in you.

You might use the phrase: May the good in people's lives continue and grow. May the good in all our lives continue and grow.

As we continue settling into just this message, just this aspiration, feel the pleasure of it, the openness of it, and the generosity of it. Offer it for all beings, including yourself, so that your own joy grows together with that of others, together with your aspiration for others. May what's good in all people's lives continue and grow.

Then it's easier to get absorbed in this topic. Maybe saying a single word is all you need: the word appreciation. Gratitude. Or even joy. Knowing it's the joy for all that's going well, and the joy that comes from generously wishing more for people. May their success continue for all of us.

Staying focused on appreciative joy is easier when we know that all the suffering of the world begins to be healed, begins to diminish, when we also know that there is joy in the world, appreciation, and gratitude.

Let not the suffering of the world be the reason for losing touch with the very human capacity for the opposite of suffering: for happiness, love, gratitude, care, and compassion. Appreciate all this good that is also in the human heart. It needs to be watered, recognized, and given its time so it can support us in times of trouble.

Wish for yourself and for all beings: May they taste, feel, and sense their capacity for joy and gratitude. May they awaken to this inner health, this spiritual health. May their souls, their hearts, not only smile but sing with being alive.

In this way, we can meet joy with resilience. Meet suffering without creating more suffering. Meet suffering and make room for something really good to arise out of it: our deep appreciation, respect, and love for all beings.

May we aspire to have such love. May we remember we can love with appreciative joy.

May all beings be happy. May all beings be safe. May all beings be peaceful. May all beings be free.

Thank you.

Dharmette: Love (64) For All Beings

Today is the last talk on appreciative joy. It will be the tenth one. To bring it to a kind of completion and fullness, I want to say that appreciative joy is a form of love, as are all the divine abodes, the Brahma Viharas^[3]. We've talked already about goodwill, kindness, loving-kindness, and compassion. What appreciative joy has in common with these other qualities in terms of love is that it involves a capacity to stop and pause long enough to really take in the full humanity of other people.

The idea of full humanity is not to be caught or stuck in seeing them in one particular way, holding a certain resentment, value, or desire. Sometimes we love people so that they will love us, so we can get something from them; what we really love is getting something. But we want to really open up to appreciate people for themselves, who they are. To respect them, to wish them well, and to wish the best possible life for them in terms of inner well-being and inner happiness that is independent of the material things around them.

May they find deep peace. May they find meaning. May they find community. May they find joy. May they find a deep appreciation of themselves. Each person is valuable, and may each person realize that for themselves. This love that really wants the psychologically and spiritually best for people connects with that part of them, seeing the fullness of their full humanity. We then offer our appreciative joy in the sense that we offer our aspiration, our delight, and our joy: May this continue. May this grow for them.

We share in the delight. Things that are shared often get strengthened and reinforced. If we share our complaints with other people, that is what will grow. If we share our anger and our fear, that is what will grow. There's a way of sharing suffering where we all just suffer more. There is another way of being present for suffering where we don't exactly "share" it, but we are open to it. We listen to it and recognize it deeply so that people are not alone in their suffering. We accompany them, but we're not sharing in the suffering in a way that just brings us down even more.

There is a capacity to be present and see the joy of others so that it grows. In a sense, we accompany them and let their joy grow and strengthen. The good things we share; the things that bring us down, we stay open and present for with mindfulness. Joy grows with joy. It is about being able to recognize and appreciate how people celebrate what is going well for them, to go along with it, and not close down, be envious, or doubt it. We say yes, a big yes.

Then we tie appreciative joy to how there is usually much more going right for us than what is going wrong. We often focus on what's going wrong, and it seems like it's the whole world, but that's often a mental locking in, being stuck in a certain way. What we learn in meditation is to step out of that, to relax out of it, and to begin having a wider view of what's happening. We make room for what's good. Not to lock in or hold on to what's good in a Pollyannaish or romantically pastoral way, but to make room for all of it and feel the joy of the openness. We feel the delight of the mindfulness, the non-resistance to all of it.

Even the non-resistance to suffering is really healthy and good. It allows us not to suffer more, but to truly be free in the midst of it. We look to find what is going well. When we are with other people, there is an art to not distracting them, but gently and quietly speaking to and focusing on what brings them joy, happiness, and delight. We focus on the good, on what is going well, without exactly changing the subject or making them aware that we are gently moving the conversation in a direction that brings energy. We move towards what energizes and uplifts people, rather than what deflates them.

We share this appreciative joy and share gratitude. When we practice appreciative joy as a meditation practice, as it goes deeper and deeper, it makes sense to keep opening it up to this samadhi of extending it to all beings. At some point, it feels like we want no limits to it. We don't want to hold it in. We might even want to relax the mind that is thinking about particular people, because that's a little bit limiting, and just let the joy begin flowing, radiating, and glowing in all directions.

Sometimes, when I practice these Brahma Viharas, what becomes really meaningful for me at a certain point is just to have the feeling radiate or be there—a heart-smile around it, absorbed in it—without even needing to have an object. Without a specific person coming to mind, it's just the heart's delight and joy for appreciative joy, and even the words fall away.

To have the samadhi where even the words fall away allows us to immerse ourselves. We center ourselves, we stabilize ourselves, and we enter into the deep sensations, the deep feelings and emotions of appreciative joy that are just flowing and moving. It feels like it goes in all directions, including everyone, with no one left out, because there are no limits and no boundaries. Wherever it touches, that's where it goes.

To enter into the samadhi of it really deeply is one of the great pleasures of life. Each of these Brahma Viharas is a form of love. This is one of the great gifts of Buddhism: its emphasis on this deep samadhi that is called a boundless capacity for love in all kinds of ways. When we do that in meditation, we then know something about how to meet the world that way. Even if we don't always do it perfectly, we know something about offering our goodwill, our kindness, our compassion, and our appreciative joy without limitation. We offer it without it being a transaction or exchange, without holding it back or keeping it in check, and without any conditions associated with it.

Just yes. Not expecting anything in return, just yes. If we are expecting something in return, it's not from other people; it comes from our own joy, our own freedom, and our own openness to simply say yes. With this big yes—yes to joy, yes to what is going well in the world, yes to this person's delight—it is possible we benefit even more than they do, because it lights up a great smile in our own hearts.

I hope that I have brought appreciative joy to life for you. It is one of the wonderful possibilities of a human life. Perhaps you can avail yourself of appreciative joy more often than you have. The way to do that is to just be present more for people. Pay attention to them when you are with them. Look around and notice what is going well. What is happening that's good? Speak to it, talk about it, and say, "I appreciate it."

Sometimes we do it within a conversation. It could be as simple as appreciating the love and care with which someone made a meal for you: "Thank you. This was really great. I appreciate it." Or, if someone has a project they are working on, we might say, "Wow, I can see how much fun you're having and how much joy that brings you. It's a delight to watch you work." There are all kinds of ways. When sitting with people who are dying, sometimes it's nice to help them review their life in a way that highlights what went well. Not forcefully, and not in a Pollyannaish way, but giving them a chance to talk about what went right. Ask them, "What do you appreciate?" Some people come alive in a very different way when asked this.

Discover the world of appreciative joy. Experiment with it in conversation, in meditation, and just walking around and being with other people. See what it lights up for you. See how to do it in a way that feels psychologically healthy and appropriate for you, so that you can avail yourself of joy. That joy is already here, or the opportunity for it is here. Notice that opportunity more often. Some people avail themselves of what's going wrong a lot, and it wears them down, making them more and more afraid.

Appreciative joy is a wonderful form of love. Being able to live a life of love is one of the purposes of the Dharma. We have been exploring this now for almost six months. Next week, we will start the final one of the divine loves, the divine abidings, which is equanimity^[4].

For today and this weekend, perhaps you can focus on availing yourself of more opportunities to delight in and enjoy your own joy and the joy of others. Carry with you for the weekend the three-letter word: yes. Yes.

Thank you very much, and I look forward to continuing on Monday.