Moon PointingHappy Hour: Equanimity with Unreliability
- Date:
- 2020-04-13
- Speakers:
- Nikki Mirghafori [Talks] [@AudioDharma]
- Location:
- Insight Meditation Center [Talks] [@YouTube]
- Generation:
- 2026-11-05 (gemini-3.1-pro-preview) [Prompt Template] [Raw Markdown] [YouTube Video]
- Keywords:
This is an AI-generated transcript from auto-generated subtitles for the video above. It likely contains inaccuracies, especially with speaker attribution if there are multiple speakers.
Happy Hour: Equanimity with Unreliability
Good, great. This is going to be fantastic. Well, we are going to work with conditions as they are and the conditions as they're showing up is that as I said, my video is unreliable. Many things in life are unreliable and my internet today happens to be one of them. Here we go. Keep switching back and forth.
So, maybe the theme to work with today is equanimity with unreliability. Equanimity with unreliability, that things are unreliable. Things come and go. Things are not exactly as you want them to be in any moment in time. And especially right now at the time of COVID-19, things are quite unreliable. This is the way things are. And in many ways, it's really bringing up for our contemplation the truth of the Dharma and dharma both, translated as with the big D, the teachings of the Buddha and also with small d, the way things are, the law of the unfolding. Things are unreliable.
So, with that unreliability, seeing really contemplating the unreliability of all things, can we still have a sense of balance? Can we have stability? Can we not lose our center? Can we not lose our heart? Can we not lose our kindness and generosity in the middle of instability, things coming and going, whatever it might be.
The assumptions, the set of expectations that we might have from life. We have perhaps sometimes this sense of entitlement that life owes us. Life owes us everything. It owes us for everything to work perfectly well, perfect health, everything reliable, but that's just not the way things are. The fact that things flow and work as well as they do usually is actually a miracle. It's an absolute miracle that things work as well as they usually do.
So, can we practice? Can we actually take this opportunity when the unreliability is so global, the unreliability of how things are unfolding in our lives and in the world. Can we take that not to be an aberration and not to take that as a problem, as something to be avoided, but something to actually turn to, not something that will scare us into a corner, but something that we actually turn our hearts and mind to and we work with it in a friendly way. Hello, unreliability. It's the truth of the dharma. It's the truth of the unfolding of being human. Things are unreliable.
And yes, it can be very scary to admit that and we don't want to admit that. We don't want to admit that things are unreliable, that they're impermanent. But that's the way things are. And can we still keep our joy, keep our good-heartedness, keep our generosity, keep our heart open, fully embracing things as they arise and as they pass away. And keep our cool and calm in the midst of when things are not working the way we want them to work, like my internet that's spotty right now, sharing this from my home and my video coming and going. You know, it's unreliable and yet it is what it is, rolling with it, rolling with it. And this is just a small example that I'm sharing right now, of course, in real time, because this is what's happening to me, sitting here trying to coordinate all this. And in the bigger picture of what's actually happening in all of our lives collectively.
So, having said that as a preamble, as a setup for our practice tonight together, what I will do in the guided meditation, I will start with a settling, a settling of our bodies, our minds, our hearts with the breath, with the body. And that will be the first section. And your mind might wander, that's perfectly fine, you know that as meditators. And if you're new, you will learn that more and more. It's not that you're doing this practice wrong. This is just the way it goes.
And then after taking some time with settling in the mind and with settling with the body and the breath, then I would invite you to turn if you wish with an open heart to sitting with, to opening up with spaciousness to the unreliability, the coming and going of things. And can we still keep our heart open? I'll have some invitations for you in the midst of this unreliability. So, it will be a mix of equanimity practice, metta practice, we'll just try it on for size.
Guided Meditation
Show meditation
Hide meditation
Guided Meditation
Without any further ado, I would like to ask you to get comfortable in your meditation posture, whatever that might be for you. If you'd like to move, shift, get something that's more comfortable, cushions, shawls, this is a perfect time to really share your own care and your own metta for yourself. If you need to lie down, that's perfectly fine. You are welcome to do that. Taking care of your body.
And I invite you if you wish to close your eyes. Close your eyes. Settling. And if closing your eyes is not comfortable for you, you can let your eyes be open. But, let them drop ever so gently. A soft soft gaze right in front of you, receiving. Not gazing out, receiving.
Allowing your posture to be one of integrity. Sitting with your head tall, with your back tall. But, not with so much effort. Imagining that your head is being pulled up a vertebrae by vertebrae by an invisible magnet connected or being held on top of your head and just pulling you up. Ah, expanding your torso, expanding your back. Ah, and then letting the rest of your body just relax. And drop.
Feeling your feet on the floor or your legs on the cushion. The contact point between your bottom, your sit bones, and the chair or the cushion. As a stand-in for the earth. Connected to the earth. Feeling perhaps your back, the touch points of your back with the chair. Are your hands touching each other or touching your lap? The contact points. Feeling your whole body sitting. This body is sitting and breathing right now.
Allowing the whole body to receive the breath. Each in breath and out breath moving in and out. Like a lullaby, calming and soothing. Each and every part of your body. The breath being received. As if it was a gentle breeze. A nice warm breeze wind blowing through your body. Calming, soothing, relaxing your abdomen. As the breath graces you with its presence. As the breath moves through your chest. Ah. Graces your chest with calm. Softening, relaxing your chest. As the breath graces your arms, your hands. Perhaps more symbolically, or perhaps the oxygen that moves through your lungs is really bracing. Moving through your hands and arms. Softening and relaxing. Softening and relaxing. Letting your hands, your arms drop. As the breath graces your head, your neck. Letting your whole face relax and drop. No need to hold any tension.
Moving through the body. The upper legs, lower legs and feet. As the breath moves through your body, relaxing and softening. Your legs. The whole body with each breath feeling more alive with the inbreath. And more settled, more present, more here with the outbreath. Calming, collecting your heart, your mind, your body with each inbreath and outbreath.
See if there can be a sense of enjoying, taking delight in this process of sitting and breathing. It might be the soothing rhythm of your breath. Like a melody. Like a very intimate melody calming you. And making you happy. It could be a sense of sitting comfortably, cozily in this body. Feeling a sense of contact with the cushion and the chair, your hands. Just feeling the same way a child would feel cozy, tucked in, cozy blanket, holding a stuffed animal. That feeling can be present maybe just sitting, taking refuge in the simplicity of coziness of sitting here at this hour. Simply sitting and breathing.
That could be a sense of delight. Ah, of sitting together in community. Here we are, us humans. Not alone, sitting and breathing together. A sense of solidarity. A sense of delight. In companionship. In space and time, in virtual space, but in real time. Maybe that brings a spark of joy, delight to your heart. And maybe it's a sense of oh, I've needed sitting. I've needed this all day, past few hours. How nice to just sit. Feel my body and breathe.
Checking in to make sure your body is relaxed. Any tension has crept in, relaxing your body some more. Feeling the contact points. Feeling the breath. And feeling the gladness. However much or little may be present. I'm taking refuge in this moment.
And you may find many times your mind will be resting on a thought, a plan, a memory, a worry. It's okay. Ever so gently notice what's arising. And after you see it, maybe smile to it. Wave hello. And then relax. Relax some more. Returning to the breath, the body, and the delight, the joy of beginning again. The joy of the beginner's mind, beginning again and again.
And if this is nourishing for you, just being with the breath, the body, and the delight, joy, calm and charm, you can continue this way. Or if you wish, I'm going to share some invitations.
The invitation first is to notice your sitting. Your sitting, your posture. Or if you're lying down, the posture with a sense of integrity, sense of groundedness, while so much is going on in the world, it's okay. But feeling yourself as if you are sitting on a bedrock, stable, connected, embodied, connected to the earth, stable.
If it works for you, you can bring up the image of a well-rooted tree. A well-rooted tree. As if you were a well-rooted tree. With your roots going deep into the earth, spread wide. Embodied, connected. And your body, the trunk of the tree. Tall. The sense of integrity. Your green branches. Sense of presence and vitality. Showing up just as you are. Rooted, grounded, stable, supported. More deeply than you realize sometimes. You can only see your trunk. But feeling, knowing, acknowledging there are these roots. You are a well-rooted tree. Your practice, your embodied awareness is the root. It stabilizes, balances, grounds you. And acknowledging that you can relax your body. Smile.
And then knowing that a stable, well-rooted tree in the forest, in the forest of humanity, there are winds, there are storms, there are rains. A lot can happen in the forest, a lot of weather changes. The rains come and go, sunshine, clouds, the winds. And the tree well-rooted, tall, supported.
For some, it might be helpful to really visualize your connection to the earth. For some might be helpful to put a hand, maybe two hands on your lower abdomen. The lower abdomen, place of groundedness. In Qigong, the area is considered called the hara, place of stability energy. Maybe putting your hand or two on your lower abdomen, feeling your stability. And feeling the breath as it moves through your lower abdomen, expanding and contracting.
And so too, many conditions arise and pass away in our human life, unreliability, instability, comings and goings. Can we sit in the middle of it all, not running away, not turning away? Can we feel our own stability? And own groundedness, our own spaciousness, access through the breath. When thoughts, when worries arise, remembering our groundedness, our roots. Feeling our body, feeling our contact points, the connection, as if we were grounding, discharging. Allowing a sense of vitality, presence, stability, courage, that is embodied. It's already here. Trusting that it is already here. And as we acknowledge it, as we recognize it, it gets stronger and stronger.
And for the last few minutes, I want you to, if you wish, put a hand or both hands in your heart center, center of your chest, really connecting with yourself. Another way of feeling the connection to yourself, to your intention, to your stability. To your wholeheartedness. Recognizing your own wholeness, stability, resourcefulness. How not only through your own groundedness with your body, your breath, your presence, can be stable and available as instability, challenges arise and pass all around you. You can also show up for others. Support them. And thereby recognizing your own resourcefulness. And how much you actually have to give. Which could be your presence, just your presence.
Q&A and Reflections
So, we'd love to ask you if you would to maybe share a word or a phrase what's coming up for you. What's happening for you now? And feel free to just unmute yourself and speak.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Hi. I keep on noticing my body is leaning forward. So, yeah. It's like I keep on putting it back to center.
Nikki Mirghafori: Nice. Yeah. Actually, I want to say something briefly about that. Notice if your mind is also leaning forward. Sometimes when the body is leaning forward, it could be associated with the mind leaning forward, leaning into the next moment planning, kind of wanting to go on to the next thing. So, notice if that might be the case. Thank you. What else is coming up for you in this moment? Anything you want to share just briefly?
So, this is the time we usually go into breakout rooms and just to share, just to have some connection, especially at these times where it's nice to just check in with another practitioner. Hello, how are you? How is it going? So, I'd like to invite you into groups and I will create breakout rooms.
[Breakout rooms occur]
I'm back. This is great. So, yeah, would love to hear a few reflections, comments, how are you? How is the meditation? Questions, comments, complaints, anything is welcome. So, you can just raise your hand if you want and I'll call on you or you can just unmute your— So, I'm going to mute everyone. There's some background noise. There, but yeah, feel free to now one by one unmute yourself or raise your hand and I'll unmute you. Please.
Kitty: I just appreciate—
Nikki Mirghafori: Yes, Kitty, please. Oh, Kitty has her hand raised. Sorry, go ahead, Kitty. I'm going to unmute you. Let's see. I can't unmute you, but you can unmute yourself.
Kitty: Okay.
Nikki Mirghafori: Oh, there. Perfect.
Kitty: Yeah, I raised my digital hand, so.
Nikki Mirghafori: Well done. Well done.
Kitty: Yeah, I have done that before. I just thought you did a really good job of making— I felt really connected to other people. So, it was really nice to connect to people and the people I was talking to were from Canada, so it's pretty neat. So, thank you very much. That's what I want to say.
Nikki Mirghafori: Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. It's so nice to be connected in this way. This is so happy making for me, I have to say, too. Just brings so much joy to my heart to be sharing with you and practicing together this evening. And as you might have all seen on the calendar, happy hour, we are actually trying an experiment to offer it every night this week and next week for 2 weeks and see how it goes and we might continue it every night 6:00 to 7:00 as a support. So, yeah, and it's lovely to have Canadians join. Welcome, eh? It's great. So, someone else was saying something before and I don't remember who it was. Please.
Phil: So, yeah, I was kind of echoing a similar sentiment that it's just really wonderful to be meeting practitioners from all over. I met people from Colombia and New Mexico today and I've met people from all over Australia and Europe previous weeks. So, this is— yeah, it's just a lovely format and seems to be attracting a really awesome crowd. So, I'm very happy this is happening.
Nikki Mirghafori: Yeah, thank you, Phil. I feel the same way. It's just so lovely to have people from around the world joining. Yeah. Anyone who is not from the Bay Area would like to chime in, please. I'd love to hear your voice. How are you doing? Yes, Abraham. Please. Oh, and also Neil just came on. So, Oh, you have to go?
Abraham: I am from the Bay Area, but I'm from Canada. So, I was interested to find out who else there is, but I really want to say I think it's just wonderful that we're able to have sangha[1] during all of this time that we're able to meditate, that we're able to exercise the Brahma Viharas[2] over and over and over again every day. It's just so wonderful.
Nikki Mirghafori: Thank you, Abraham. Canada, yay! Okay, I think Neil— Are you from Canada? Yeah, you're unmuted, great. Please.
Susan: Hi. This is Susan. I'm sitting beside Neil who resolutely refuses to come on screen.
Nikki Mirghafori: All good.
Susan: But we're both very grateful to be able to participate in this virtual Sangha. We have a few Sanghas here in the city. Our own doesn't have a teacher. It's a peer-led group. We use AudioDharma a lot and came to know of you through that. So our thanks are deep and go a long way back. Thank you.
Nikki Mirghafori: Thank you, Susan and Neil. And which city are you close to?
Susan: We're in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan this evening.
Nikki Mirghafori: Saskatoon, okay. Wait, hold on. We have Saskatoon, that's fantastic. Thank you, Canadians. Welcome. This is great.
Susan: Thank you.
Nikki Mirghafori: We love you. Thank you for practicing with us. This is so great. Anyone else who would like to say something in the last minute, please?
Sangita: Yes, hi Nikki. This is Sangita from Virginia.
Nikki Mirghafori: Hi Sangita. Welcome.
Sangita: Yeah, I was very excited when I saw the schedule for this session going all week every day. But at the same time I feel a little guilty because I'm not able to fully exert myself given the time here. And in another half an hour I'm planning to attend Gil's session as well. So it's going to go on till midnight for me.
Nikki Mirghafori: It's great. It's beautiful and so grateful that you can participate as much or as little as you can. So where is the guilt feeling, Sangita? I wasn't quite sure. I heard you saying you feel guilty not being able to exert yourself.
Sangita: Yeah, because I'm feeling half sleepy and not fully alert. Yeah, that's what I meant by feeling guilty.
Nikki Mirghafori: Ah. Okay. I appreciate that. Well, I just want to express my appreciation for you and for everyone to show up as much or as little as you can. And the fact that you're on the East Coast, you're 3 hours ahead. You're still showing up and practicing in sangha. That's beautiful. That's above and beyond expectations. So, to actually let that be a source of joy in your heart instead of guilt and making yourself feel small. "Oh, I'm not showing up." Yay, I'm showing up! I'm practicing community and it's hard for me. It's a stress. Yes, I see folks are clapping their hands for you, giving you thumbs up on the video as you can see in the gallery view. I'm going to give you a thumbs up. Yes. So, let that bring joy in your heart that you're really showing up with and if you're sleepy, that's what's showing up. You're showing up sleepy. Hello, sleepiness. Welcome. All right? Part of our practice, whatever arises.
So, with that, if I may say what has arisen is that it's 7:02. So, being overtime has arisen. So, thank you all so much for showing up in any way you've been able to show up tonight. Sleepy, tired, anxious, whatever it is, calm, loving, for us to practice in community and maybe see you again tomorrow, the day after, whenever you're able to show up or not. It's all good. Okay. Be well. Take care. Much better. Bye.
Group: Bye, everyone.
Sangha: The Buddhist community of monks, nuns, novices, and laity. In a broader sense, it refers to any community of practitioners. ↩︎
Brahma Viharas: The four "divine abodes" or sublime states in Buddhism: loving-kindness (metta), compassion (karuna), empathetic joy (mudita), and equanimity (upekkha). ↩︎