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Happy Hour: Our Goodness as a Gift

The theme I would like to explore tonight is what happens for each and every one of us if we could gaze, if we could see, if we could acknowledge, if we could wake up to our own gifts of beauty, grace, and the beyonds within us.

If we were able to, even if for a millisecond, gaze upon ourselves from the perspective of another being who really saw our beauty—Beauty with a capital B, the inner beauty, the gifts, how we may inspire others, how we may be generous to others. If we could really appreciate this, not in an egotistical way. As I'm talking about this, a lot of resistance might come up for you, like, "Ah, I don't want to. I don't have any." It's okay, hang out with me. I will lead us in a guided meditation, but just entertain the idea. Imagine if a rose—now I'll get poetic for a moment, humor me—if a rose could really know its own beauty, its own fragrance, how much joy its gorgeousness and fragrance brings out in the hearts of others.

If it could know that, would it actually allow it to flower and flourish more beautifully, to offer its gift of fragrance and beauty to the world as its offering, as a way of serving the world more fully?

What if the songbird really knew and could appreciate the beauty and the gift of its own song? If it knew that others who are listening are uplifted by the beauty of the song, would it sing with more abandon? Would it offer its gift to the world, knowing how deeply it is appreciated?

And now, what if in our humanity, each and every one of us, just for a millisecond, could actually see, acknowledge, and grasp the gift that we offer the world in our suchness, in just being who we are? Would meeting that, even for a moment, open our hearts up to be more fully ourselves? To more fully sing our song, radiate our fragrance, and make our unique offering in this world, in this brief time that we are here, in this flash of light?

In each and every one of us, there is a suchness, a beauty, a grace, a divinity within us that we usually don't see, as we're so busy going through our day and through our to-do lists, answering our emails, and berating ourselves for not being good enough, not doing enough endlessly. What if?

Tonight's guided meditation is an invitation. Whatever arises is fine. Whatever does not arise is fine. It's just resting, allowing, swimming with this invitation to see what might come up. Again, maybe nothing will, which is perfectly fine. No attachment to outcome, no expectations. That is the invitation for our journey tonight, our exploration.

Guided Meditation

With that invitation, I would like to invite you now to get comfortable in your body. If you need to move, if you need to shift your position or your location, do so to sit comfortably in your chair, on your cushion, or maybe even lying down. See what your body is calling for, what is most comfortable for you, and land.

Landing in this moment, landing in this body. Letting go of all the words that just came before. There is no need for them. Let this moment be simple. Allowing and inviting your body to rest, to land. Softening, relaxing, inviting yourself to be intimate with the breath, with the inbreath, and with the outbreath. Just here, just now.

And if there are thoughts arising, it is not a problem. They will arise. Of course, they'll arise. Smiling at the thoughts, releasing them. "Thank you, please come back later, not now." This is a moment of refuge. A moment of nourishment.

Allow the center of gravity of your awareness to move down from your head into your abdomen, lower belly, lower abdomen. Your awareness connecting with the inbreath and the outbreath in your lower abdomen and with your sit bones. Feel the solidity of your sit bones, just hanging out there for a few minutes.

Connecting with your sit bones, your awareness, and the breath in the abdomen. Keeping it simple. Inbreath, outbreath, aware of each breath. The lower abdomen connected to your sit bones. Center of gravity low, not in your head. Lower abdomen.

Now I'd like to invite you, if you wish, to bring to mind someone who's been in your life. They can still be in your life, or for this practice, it's okay if they have passed away. A person or a being who has seen you, who has really appreciated and loved you, admired you, been inspired by you, adored you, or any flavor of this. Choose whatever works for you. Conjure up this being in your mind's eye as if they are right in front of you, close to you. As if they were loving you right now, gazing upon you.

This practice can bring up tenderness. It's okay. It's alright. Allowing yourself to be seen in this way can be quite tender, with tears arising. It can feel quite vulnerable receiving this kind of love.

If you find yourself wanting to pull back, don't get in your own way. Who are you to not let your grace, your beauty, your Buddha nature be seen, appreciated, and loved? Allow this being that is you to be seen. To really see what has been appreciated by this other being about you. You can put it into words if you like, that's fine. If not, that's okay, too. Just a felt sense as if you were being seen, appreciated, gazed upon. Eyes of love, a loving gaze.

Now, as you let yourself be seen, allow yourself to also see what this being sees in you and about you. They admire, they love, they're inspired by, they adore, or whatever the nuance might be for you. They appreciate whatever it is. It might be your kindness, your generosity, maybe your love for them, your ability to love, maybe your dedication, or maybe your sense of honor or duty. Whatever it might be, let it be seen as you let yourself be seen without holding back. Let yourself be seen and appreciate. See for yourself what is beautiful, wholesome, and shining in your own suchness.

Not in an egotistical way, but appreciating the gift that is uniquely yours. The unique individual you are being. You are the gift that you offer the world. What if you recognized this gift, really saw it, acknowledged it, and energetically let it expand? Let it shine. It is an offering to others. There are so many people whose lives you touch whom you can serve.

As you sit breathing, breathe with the acknowledgment that time is short. Time is short. How will you sing your song? If you are a bird singing, or if you are a flower, how do you let your beauty, your gift, your goodness be known? How do you recognize it? And in this recognition, allowing it to support you, nourish you, your own heart in its goodness, and serve and support others.

If this was someone else's goodness, you would delight in it. You would recognize it if it was somebody you loved, cared for, and appreciated. Now take the vantage point of this being that is you—the one you have been entrusted to care for and support, so that they can offer their song and their goodness to the world.

Even if there are no answers, just drop in the question, this reflection: how can you support this being that is you? Supporting, loving, and caring for them so that the wholesome gifts of their heart can shine. To support themselves and others, to serve internally and externally in the world. Just sit and breathe with the question, the reflection.

And with each breath, let this goodness resonate in your body, in your heart, and in your mind, nourishing you and shining outwards. Feel embodied. Centered in your body. Sitting with solidity, with strength. Let each breath feel nourishing and radiating inside and out.

What if what you've been seeking in others externally has always been waiting for you? The source of goodness. The jewel you've been seeking outwardly is inside, more precious than anything else in the world. It is your gift, your beauty, your offering to yourself and to the world.

For the last moments of this practice period, hold yourself with appreciation for whatever arose or did not arise, without attachment to the outcome. You have tried, and you aligned your intentions with your actions to practice with community right now. That is enough. It is enough goodness, enough beauty, and enough grace to appreciate just having shown up.

Reflections

There is so much goodness in appreciating, seeing, and recognizing our own gifts, our own beauty, and our own goodness. It is a way to both nourish and support ourselves in friendliness, and also to allow this goodness to grow. Whatever you turn your mind to, whatever you become more aware of, you allow it to grow. You allow it to shine. This suchness, this beauty that is within you to offer your gifts, to sing your song to the world, the unique gifts that you have—do not underestimate yourself.

I'd love to invite you, if you would like to share reflections with a word or a phrase, what's coming up for you or what came up for you in this practice. You can unmute yourself if you wish, or you can type it in chat. I will start by sharing that for me, personally, it is a very tender practice to let myself be seen. This being that is me, to be seen with eyes of care and love by another, and to appreciate that there is goodness here. To really appreciate that there is goodness here, and ask, how can that goodness be offered?

Are there any offerings, anything you'd like to share? What came up for you? Whether it was supportive, challenging, anything. You're welcome to share your offerings, or maybe a word or a phrase about what is coming up right now.

Trudy, I see you're unmuted. Is that intentional?

Trudy: Yes, please. [Laughter] The format that we have here of seeing ourselves in this little picture was perfect for just in a millisecond seeing the gifts and the things that you mentioned, the grace and the beauty. So, it was perfect. Thank you.

Nikki: Thank you, Trudy. Beautiful. Your words are music to my ears. Thank you for offering that. Tracy offers in the chat, "It was a beautiful practice." Thank you. Thank you, Tracy. Anything else anyone would like to add? You're welcome to.

Neil: I found this very difficult, you know. I found I spent a lot of my time telling myself it was okay that it was so difficult.

Nikki: Yeah. It can be challenging, and it is okay for it to be difficult. We're not used to this. We are so not used to this. There are so many layers of protection that we have. Would it be okay if you wanted to share a word or two about what particularly made it difficult? You don't have to.

Neil: I'm okay sharing. You started out telling us to think of someone who admired us and imagine that admiration. That was very warming, right? And then it was like, try to think about what they admire about you. And yeah, I'm not sure I really understood or knew. It didn't really make sense to me. So yeah, it was difficult.

Nikki: Yeah. I appreciate you naming that and putting words to it. Sometimes it can be clear, and sometimes it can be amorphous. I did my best to mention that it might be clear or it might not be clear, it might just be a felt sense. And it's okay to go with a felt sense and not try to nail it down. So, I'm sorry if that was not heard—

Neil: Oh, no, I heard it. I'm just very competitive and wanted to win. [Laughter]

Nikki: [Laughter] Thank you, Neil. Yeah, sometimes it's just going with the flow with what is being offered. As I was doing this practice, I was playing around with it. Sometimes it was specific for me and sometimes it was amorphous. I couldn't quite name it, but there was just a sense of, "There's goodness here that this other person is seeing or loving or admiring or being inspired by." There are so many different flavors. It is really about being our own inner Dharma guide. First of all, I love that you were guiding yourself, supporting yourself, saying, "Hey, it's okay that it's difficult. It's okay that this is challenging."

Another invitation I would have for you, Neil, and for other people—because I'm sure if this came up for you, it has come up for others, which is why I so appreciate you naming it—is to see what works for you. There are so many invitations in a guided meditation, and see what's most skillful for you. Do you need to back up a little bit and go forward? If you see the competitiveness, can you say, "Oh, thank you. No, come back later," to work with it as skillfully as possible? I appreciate you hanging in there with the practice as challenging as it was. What I also like to always remind us is that whenever we bring in a sense of kindness and mettā^[1]—even if the practice is very challenging, if we're bringing mettā, kindness, and acceptance to it—yay, it's been a good half hour of practice! That is really the point. Cultivating that friendliness, cultivating that sense of goodwill and appreciation for whatever is arising. Thank you, Neil. Thank you so much for bringing that up. Anything else?

I see a couple of offerings in the chat. One is by Elizabeth: "What I experienced was an honest self-assessment and appreciation of my goodness." Thank you, Elizabeth. Yes, and it's all welcome, whether it was challenging or whether it brought up a sense of appreciation of goodness. Vicki offers, "I found myself really missing my ex-coworker." Yes, and as I said, it can also be a tender, challenging practice in that way. What I'm appreciating about what you offered, Vicki, is how there are so many ways to do this practice, like seeing the other person's goodness. They saw the beauty in you, and you saw the beauty in them as a dear friend. Anything else you'd like to offer before we transition to small breakout rooms? Going once, going twice. Okay.

So the invitation now, as we transition into practicing with others, is to see how in interaction you can hold both the sense of your own appreciation of your own goodness, and an appreciation of other beings' goodness. You might not know them—they are from all over the country and the world—and here you are with another being that has goodness in them. It is goodness meeting goodness. Can you have just a couple of minutes of interaction saying what came up for you? How was this practice? There's no right or wrong. Loved it, hated it, whatever it is. It doesn't matter. It's about the way you're interacting. There is a beauty, a goodness within. As you hold yourself with the goodness within, and if judgments arise, can that be held with the goodness within, with the appreciation of goodness within? So, I will create the breakout rooms now.

Breakout Groups / Q&A

Great, everyone is back. Welcome back, everyone. We have a few minutes, actually. I would love to hear how your practice was tonight. Any questions, comments, complaints, or reports about the first part or the breakout rooms, please take it away. You're welcome to unmute yourself. I may not see you if you wave, so just unmute yourself and start talking.

Participant: I just wanted to say thank you. This is my first time joining the group and I really appreciate this kind of practice. I don't think that any meditation I've done has had a sort of self-appreciation element, and it was very unique for me. I found it very fresh and refreshing, and it was really great to have the breakout groups. I was with Barbara and with Yuka. Barbara's in Orlando, I'm in Singapore, and Yuka's in Boca, so I really appreciate how international this group is. Thank you.

Nikki: Lovely. Thank you. Thanks so much for sharing your reflections. I love how international your little triad was. It makes me very happy. And how nourishing you found the appreciation of your own inner goodness. It can be a real source for offering our own goodness to the world. There is so much goodness here. Beautiful. Thank you. Somebody else?

Barbara: I will say that... I'm sorry, did I interrupt you, Nikki? I apologize.

Nikki: Oh, no, no. You're good. Please, Barbara.

Barbara: Okay. I will say that in our breakout group, we talked about the fact that we also found this a little difficult. But we talked about the fact that we just persevered and stuck with it, and in the end, we were able to kind of piece together enough to instill and emit the goodness that you tried to have us reflect on. And so I wanted to just say thank you.

Nikki: Thank you. I appreciate hearing how challenging it was. If it wasn't challenging, it wouldn't be practice. It would just be like, "Yeah, we got it right." It seems like there was a commonality among all of you that yes, it's challenging, but you stuck with it. There is something that opens up when you stay with the awareness and gently play with it. "Okay, how can this work? How can this work?" And new ways show up. That's the beauty of practice. So, thank you Barbara. Thanks for sharing that. Lovely.

I saw someone else who was unmuted at some point. Please, you're invited to unmute yourself again. Is it Casey?

Casey: Yeah, thanks Nikki. Yep. [Laughter] It's nice to see you again. Thank you so much, it was really a lovely guided meditation. I found the group that I was in was just really sweet. It was a really nice experience, and I appreciated the honesty that everyone had in the group. Yeah, it was just really nice, that's what I wanted to share.

Nikki: Nice. Thank you. There's such a sweetness to it, and I love hearing over and over how sweet these meetings are and how nourishing it actually is. Not just sitting with our eyes closed, but also connecting with a few people in this short time. It is so nourishing as a way to take it into the rest of our day. Thank you, Casey. We have time maybe for one more comment. Please, questions, comments, reflections, complaints—everything is welcome.

Olivia: I guess I'll just say that I really look forward to these practices. They conclude very hard work days, and today I completely fell asleep, which very rarely happens. But I think I was absorbing all the goodness subconsciously anyway, and it still felt amazing. I practiced compassion towards the feeling of FOMO—the fear of missing out on the wonderful practice. And then it felt great anyway because the self-compassion was there.

Nikki: Beautiful. Thank you, Olivia. Thank you so much for speaking up. I appreciate you bringing that into the space, and my heart is buoyed hearing that there was self-compassion holding the FOMO, and that your body got to rest. It sounds like it's been a really long day, and I celebrate that your heart and your body got what they needed at this time, and that you were compassionate with yourself. That's really the practice. Even if the compassion comes in at the end—like, you sleep for 29 and a half minutes of the 30-minute sit, and realize, "Oh, I was asleep." It's okay! You needed rest. That is a powerful 30 seconds of practice. I'm exaggerating, but thank you for bringing that in. I applaud you and appreciate you modeling for others that it is about accepting and allowing whatever is arising. These are the causes and conditions in this moment, and no matter how much I wish it to be otherwise, this is what's arising. Can I have a sense of friendliness with it, and support myself? So, thank you Olivia. I'm so glad you spoke up. Thank you.

So it is 7:01, actually. Let's offer the merit of our practice, the goodness that we generated from our collective actions here. From practicing together with our eyes closed, appreciating and recognizing our own goodness and our gifts for this world, and the goodness generated from the interactions and supporting others in our practice. May all this goodness be a cause and condition for the freedom and happiness of all beings everywhere, including ourselves.

Thank you so much for joining for your own sake and for everybody else's sake. See you soon. Diana is teaching tomorrow. Bye!