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Kalyāṇa (2 of 5) The Beauty of Virtue

So, this morning I'd like to continue with the theme of beauty in the teachings of the Buddha—the beautiful. The word as I introduced it yesterday is Kalyāṇa^[1]. There are other words that are used, but the one I'm focusing on is Kalyāṇa (k-a-l-y-a-n-a).

One of the things the Buddha referred to as beautiful is the Dharma^[2]. He would express the idea that it's possible to become established in the beauty of the Dharma. So, what is the Dharma? What is this Dharma that's beautiful in the beginning, middle, and end?

It's many things. One of the meanings of Dharma—of many meanings that maybe get deeper and deeper as we practice—is actually action: how we behave, what we do. And to be established in the Dharma is to be established in good behavior, ethical behavior, virtuous behavior, and beautiful behavior. These words like goodness, ethics, and virtue—some people are inspired by them, some people are not, and some people hesitate around these words, maybe for good reasons. But to see them as synonymous with beauty and beautiful—that you have ethics, virtue, and goodness, often in a very interesting context or different kind of situation—is to see it that way.

Someone is established in beauty, or in what's beautiful, if they are living by the Five Precepts^[3]. If they don't kill, steal, engage in sexual misconduct, lie, or involve in intoxication. The Buddha referred to that as a beautiful thing. Part of that beauty is that it's a beautiful thing to see someone in the world who is harmless, who is in the world being truthful, who is in the world not wanting to harm, and taking care not to cause harm. I've met many people like that, and I find myself still, to this day, very inspired by this. It's almost like food for me; I'm nourished by seeing this goodness, this dedication to harmlessness, and dedication to being truthful that some people have. So, I like the word; it's beautiful to see that and to be that way.

Interestingly, the Buddha has this very interesting expression: "Beauty that transcends beauty." What is beautiful? It's more beautiful than the beautiful. And the beauty that transcends beauty is establishing others in the Five Precepts. Now, maybe I'll be careful with the word "establishing" so we're not obligating, pushing, or demanding that people do it. But to support other people to bring forth from inside of them that place of goodness, the ability to act for the welfare and happiness of others, to not cause harm—to let that come to the forefront, and to let that be recognized as the operating principle for people's lives. And to support people in having the settledness, the connectedness, and the sense of self-awareness that allows us to come from that place deep inside that wants to live that way. To do that is the beauty that's more beautiful, or the beauty that transcends beauty.

There is a very interesting little story in the suttas^[4] of a person who comes to the Buddha and wants to define what a great person is. The first thing the person says is, "A great person is someone who's really well-learned, who's learned a lot and understands the meaning and the inner meaning of what they've learned. So someone who's done a lot of study, that's a great person."

The Buddha says, "Not quite. I have a different understanding of what is a great person." And then the Buddha says, "A great person is someone who is concerned for the welfare and happiness of others, and who establishes others in the beauty of the Dharma, in the wholesomeness of the Dharma. That is a great person."

We see that over and over again—that the Buddha's emphasis for a wise person, a great person, is someone who is concerned for the welfare of others. He clearly doesn't obligate people to be a great person, but in the Buddha's estimation, he sees someone who's a wonderful, great person as someone who is in fact concerned for the welfare and happiness of others. And one of the ways to be concerned for the welfare of others is to establish them in the beauty of the Dharma, the wholesomeness of the Dharma.

So I said earlier that one of the meanings of Dharma is action. Another meaning of Dharma are qualities of mind, the inner qualities of goodness or truth that are here, that transcend or are beyond Buddhism even. This is why practices like mindfulness really connect us to what's here and make us attentive. We say it connects us to the Dharma, but it's not a Dharma that is someone else's religion or even belongs to a religion. It's a Dharma that belongs to the heart, to what we discover inside, and this deep trusting and valuing of the capacity of the heart to act well, to be concerned for the welfare of others, and to work for others.

And that brings us to one of the things many people associate with the word Kalyāṇa. There is a term we use, "good spiritual friend," and that's kalyāṇa-mitta^[5]. Mitta means friend, and kalyāṇa is what's translated as "good spiritual." The most literal meaning of the word is beautiful. So, to have a beautiful friend, to have a good spiritual friend—the person would certainly be beautiful in their ethics and how they behave, but more importantly, they'd be beautiful in their inner qualities from which they act and how they are in the world. We'd recognize something beautiful in them.

When we use the word spiritual, it's not really a Buddhist word. It's a Western word. And speaking in English, we assume we all know what it means and we share an understanding, but it's a fairly vague word. I didn't use it for many, many years. I was ordained as a Zen priest early in the 1980s. I had a friend who sometimes got mad at me because here I was a priest, a religious person, and I never used the word spiritual. It seemed incongruous not to use it, but it wasn't really part of my worldview to use that word, so I didn't use it much. Now I tend to use it more often. I'm very aware that it's kind of a vague word. It doesn't really specify something unless you explain it.

But in terms of a good spiritual friend, I like to use the word "spiritual" to mean the fullest aspects of the human heart, where ethics, awakening, freedom from suffering, and caring for others come together in the same experience. So these beautiful abilities, these wonderful qualities we have—when they get integrated into our being, or the place where they're integrated in the heart—that's what I would consider "spiritual" for my definition. So a good spiritual friend is someone who has an experience or knows something about this integration of virtue, goodness, care, harmlessness, freedom, awakening, and caring for others. They really have a sense that this is who they are, well-integrated into their persona, their personality.

To have a good spiritual friend, to have a beautiful friend—one of the things the Buddha talked about regarding the value of a kalyāṇa-mitta in Buddhism is someone who supports you in living the Eightfold Path^[6]. They help us become established in the Eightfold Path.

I think this is also quite profound. The Eightfold Path consists of eight kinds of actions for how we live our lives. They are not beliefs. They're not tenets of what you have to believe or import from someone else. They're actually these practices of what we do. If we do these things, and orient ourselves this way, then we'll hopefully get to the results of them very quickly. We'll see for ourselves that they're beneficial. We'll see for ourselves the ways in which they bring forth something precious and valuable inside. Maybe we'll see for ourselves that we too have the capacity to act in beautiful ways, in good ways, and in ways that bring benefit to the world.

Over and over again, as we develop our inner life in beautiful ways—settling ourselves, connecting to ourselves, purifying ourselves, and working through some of the difficulties and challenges that we have—the direction we're going is to be free enough, open enough, and sensitive enough so that our care and interest is for the welfare and happiness of all beings. The welfare and happiness of ourselves, and the welfare and happiness of others.

I'll end with one of my favorite quotes lately from the suttas, from the Buddha, and it's a little bit similar to earlier. The Buddha described a wise person—Buddhism is often associated with wisdom—as someone who is concerned for the welfare of themselves, someone who is concerned for the welfare of others, someone who is concerned for the welfare of self and others, and someone who is concerned for the welfare of the whole world.

All those four different categories refer to something a little bit different. Self-care, being concerned for one's own welfare, is completely valid, important, and crucial, so that we know and are in touch with what is of greatest benefit for others. If we know that for ourselves, the more we can practice and discover for ourselves the greatest benefit, the greatest joy, and the greatest happiness, then we understand what's possible for others. Caring for others and not being self-centered is important—just to clearly see another person, support them, and help them.

And then caring for self and others. Maybe we don't know exactly what the Buddha actually meant, but I love the interpretation that "self and others" means us together. That somehow in a relationship, we have to care for that relationship and care for the welfare of that relationship as well, not just the other person and not just ourselves.

And the "whole world" means the whole collective—how society is, how we all work together in the mutually supportive, interactive, and interdependent world that we live in. We are also concerned for all of that—not just my people, my tribe, my family, or my friends, but the whole world we care for. So, that's a wise person.

To repeat this idea of beauty and beautiful: this is something that's quite beautiful. To call it beauty brings it all into an aesthetic, felt sense, an emotional reference point that can be inspiring, delightful, joyful, and pleasing. It's a great thing to have beauty in our lives.

So, may we become beautiful people. May we live beautifully. May we act beautifully. May we speak beautifully, for the welfare and happiness of all beings. Thank you.