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Happy Hour: Metta in the Lying Down Posture

Introduction

So hello and welcome everyone. Good to see you, good to be with you, especially nice to see you as last time. For those of you who were present on Monday, the internet was down where I live, and Gil^[1] kindly opened the room and facilitated. I called in; I was on the phone, so it was kind of fun not to see you but to lead and practice together nevertheless. That was fun and interesting.

Ah, so today is particularly nice to see you. And it was nice to just be with you. Actually, that was quite fun too. I'll share with you that because I had to keep my phone plugged in and also keep it close to the outside so that I had a few bars for reception, it was an interesting setup for me. But it also meant that I was able to lie down on my back and guide you while I was lying down, which is a nice way to practice. Especially with metta^[2], you're not going to fall asleep. There's just a sense of nourishment to the lying down practice. I don't get to do that when I'm sitting here in my chair and guiding, so that was a gift in disguise. I do welcome you to try the lying posture, especially if you're not sleepy; it can open things up for you perhaps.

So for today's practice, I'd like to lead us in just a simple session of metta. I always say it's a simple session of metta, but you know, there are always surprises. Having talked about the lying posture—again, if you're not going to fall asleep—maybe I will invite you today to explore the lying down posture. Yeah, why not? Let's do that. And if you're sleepy, then you can continue to sit or even stand. But maybe I will invite you to explore that. And at any point during the guided meditation, if you're feeling sleepy, it's okay to open your eyes. Yeah, maybe that's what I'll talk about today. Okay, so lying down posture, that's it.

The Buddha taught four postures for meditation: sitting, standing, lying down, and walking. And it so happens that in the West, for our Western minds especially, we privilege the sitting posture as how we're going to get enlightened, that's where it's at. Whereas actually, all the postures are wonderful postures. Awakening is possible in each and every one of them.

Personally, I've done a lot of my practice, a lot of my quote-unquote "serious" practice—you know, three months of silent meditation retreat—most of it lying down on my back. I've had a lot of back issues, a lot of physical issues, pain, etc. And yet, what I discovered was that actually, the lying down posture was a gift. It's so much easier to relax and release the body, the tightness, the holding that arises in the body. And when the body is relaxed and released, the mind can relax and release.

So especially if you haven't lied down before and if you've thought about it as a lesser posture, I really encourage you to try it out. Give it a chance. As I said, I've done a lot of my practice, especially the jhāna^[3] practice, the concentrations and states of samādhi^[4], that way. So I still do. Maybe the title of today's metta practice is "In Praise of the Lying Posture."

It can also be very comforting, soothing, and very appropriate for metta practice. Sometimes when we're practicing metta and compassion practice, karuṇā^[5] practice, there is a body that's hurting. Imagine if you have back pain and you're sitting and you're trying to do compassion practice for yourself. Well, hello, the first thing to do is to actually physically have compassion for yourself. And the way to have compassion is to lie down, to take care of the body, to not let it be in such a state of pain.

So a couple of things I want to say about the lying posture. One is that, in praise of it, the body can be more relaxed, at ease, and the mind can be at ease. There could be a lot of care, and in fact, there is a beauty in it. We can think that sleepiness can arise, or maybe because it's so similar to lying in bed that I can fall asleep. But at the same time, maybe cultivating the sense of kindness towards oneself can become more accessible. When you're lying in bed at night going to sleep, it actually becomes your default. It's interesting, I'll share with you that for me it's become the default. Whenever I lie in bed at night, the words that go through my mind are "safe," "happy," "healthy," "ease." They just get evoked. It just comes like, "Oh yeah, this is this tape," or rather now it is this MP3, that just keeps playing in the background.

So that can actually be a gift, that this metta becomes more readily available when you're lying down in bed. And maybe the times that you're sick, instead of kicking yourself, "Oh you're sick, there are all these things you need to get done and you're not getting them done," it's like, "Oh sweetheart, may you be well, may you be happy." So it could be accessible in those times.

I'll maybe also say something about if you notice—and I'll give much more guidance of course as we're going through it—but some people decide to lie on their side. For some people, maybe it's not the way they sleep, so they don't fall asleep as readily. But also another thing you can do is to have your arm, if you're lying down, bent at the elbow at a 90-degree angle, so that if you fall asleep, your arm will fall down and wake you up. Or your arm can be all the way straight up, and if you fall asleep, it will fall down and wake you up. So those are a couple of things that people can do with the lying down meditation to support themselves.

With all of that, I think I've said plenty to set the stage. Let's get ready. If you want to try the lying down meditation, you're welcome to try it now. You can turn off your camera if you want or let it be on, it doesn't matter, it's all good. I invite you to give it a try.

Guided Meditation

Lying down, lying down, lying down.

Letting this whole body rest on the earth. Feeling the entire underside of your body connected to the earth. Releasing your feet, feel the contact point of the feet and the earth. Releasing the legs. Your bottom. Your back. And neck and shoulders. Your head. Your hands could be resting on your belly, or on your side, or one of them could be straight up or bent at the elbow.

If this posture isn't familiar to you, bring awareness. Bring awareness to all the cells. Even if it's familiar, regardless, bring awareness to all the muscles. Releasing the muscles. Release, release, release.

Now let the breath, let the breath move through. Received in the abdomen, expanding, contracting, and releasing the body more. The lying down posture as a sign of care, as a sign of metta. The sign of care for this body that is yours.

If there is restlessness, the lying down posture can be grounding. It can ground the whole body connected to the earth. If there is pain or fatigue present, it can be restorative, this lying down posture.

Meditation is a practice of the mind. Let the mind be alert. Let the mind be alert. The mind can be upright while the body can be horizontal.

Maybe putting a hand on your heart center, whether you're lying down or sitting, and feeling a sense of care for this body. This body that works so hard. This body that is you and not you. It's yours, and yet it doesn't so much belong to you. It's kind of a mystery, our relationship to this body that we take to be "me" and "mine." As if it were a beloved other in this body, wishing it well. Wishing this body well, especially in this expression of lying down posture or sitting posture.

May this body be safe. Fully knowing that complete safety, clinging to the idea of safety, is not possible, but yet we wish it as a gift for ourselves.

May I be happy. May I be healthy. May I have ease.

May I be safe. May I be happy. May I be healthy. May my life flow with ease.

Just offering these wishes. Simple expressions of our goodwill towards ourselves. Our friendliness towards ourselves. Simple metta.

May I be safe from inner and outer harm. May I be happy and have joy in my heart. And may my life flow with ease.

If saying the phrases for yourself doesn't quite connect, see if you can perhaps shift perspective and say, "May this being who is me, this being who is me, be safe." Or maybe wishing it from the perspective of someone who loves you, cares for you, or who has loved you. Maybe a grandparent. Or a compassionate being. Or Guanyin^[6], or any other archetype.

May this being... may this being who is me, be safe. Just receiving. Just receiving.

Safe. Happy. Healthy. Ease.

In order to better connect with these wishes for yourself, if you like, you can see yourself in maybe four different tableaus. The tableaus maybe one with safety: seeing yourself in a safe environment. May I be safe.

May I be happy: seeing yourself happy with joy. Laughing, doing what you love with people you care about.

May I be healthy: seeing yourself healthy. Maybe outdoors, maybe doing some activity you love to do that signifies health for you.

May my life flow with ease: may I take care of myself happily. Again, some image, some vision that signifies ease for you, ease in your life. Maybe lying in a hammock, feeling comfortable, all is right in the world, it's all okay.

With each tableau, saying the phrases:

Safe. Happy. Healthy. Ease.

Filling our own cup, so we don't need our cup to be filled by others. Filling our own cup with care, with metta.

As we bring this practice period to a close, offering kindness to whatever arose or did not arise. Let this be a moment of cultivating kindness, metta, to yourself. Especially if judgments are arising: "Oh, you were distracted, you were sleepy." It's okay, dear, you did your best. Let it go. Let it go. A moment of kindness.

And trusting there is kindness cultivated, goodness nourished. And together we share, we give our goodness, our song of peace to all beings everywhere. May all beings everywhere, including ourselves, be safe, happy, healthy, and have ease. May all beings everywhere, including ourselves, be free.

Thank you all. Thank you for your practice.

Reflections and Q&A

So we have some time for reflections, comments, questions. You can raise your Zoom hand; if it's your physical hand, I may not see you. If you type it in chat, if you type it just to me, it'll be private and I won't read your name. And if it's typed to everyone, it'll be public. Thank you for your good wishes, the person who sent me the chat, thank you. I appreciate it.

So what did you notice? Offering your aha moments, your challenges, maybe something that opened up as a gift to others. Maybe for those who tried lying down, or maybe you didn't try lying down specifically, or anything else. Any reflections? As a gift to others?

For those who might have tried the lying down meditation, did you notice anything different?

Ah, Ginny says, "Good way to re-enter the world after being in hospital." Welcome back, Ginny, welcome back. Glad you're back with us. May you be healthy and well.

Yeah, lie-down meditation has many gifts.

Another reflection, this one privately: "I look forward to waking up every night and doing metta practice." Yay! Yes, exactly, yay. That's what I do if I wake up in the middle of the night. Especially in the middle of the night, this body, this being needs a lot of metta at that point for whatever reason you've woken up. Yeah, so great, thank you for that reflection. Very wise.

A reflection on YouTube: "Thank you, you guided me to ease." You are most welcome, thank you for your practice. There is more appreciation also showing up on YouTube from our friends. Thank you for joining us in the YouTube community.

Metta is such a soothing balm for the heart. Both energizing, soothing, whatever you need it to be.

Marianne says, "Thank you for the best part of my day." Oh, thank you, Marianne. What a gift! What a gift you give to yourself and you give to everyone else, Marianne, by showing up. This Happy Hour would be very different if I was just the only one showing up here. So thank you for being here and practicing.

Yeah, there is another comment that one of you finds listening to a dharma talk while doing yoga helpful to stretch the body and stretch the mind at the same time. Taking care of the body and taking care of the mind. That's sweet.

So if there aren't any more reflections, then maybe we'll save time for reflections at the end. So I invite all of us to practice in small groups of roughly size three, just offering one nugget about your own practice. What was this like for you just lying down, or choosing not to lie down? Each person will offer one nugget, and then the other person another nugget, and then another nugget. Just speaking from your own experience, not acting as a facilitator. And if your turn comes and you want to say "pass," that's perfectly fine. You can just hold silent space with metta, with kindness for yourself, for others. Nothing needs to be said; it's all okay. It's just showing up. Showing up with presence and kindness. What is it like to be in community with presence and kindness? So that's the invitation. So with that, I will create the rooms and invite you to be kind. Kind to yourself, kind to others. And here we go, opening them up. Enjoy time with community.

(Break for breakout rooms)

Okay, the rooms are now closed. Everybody is back. Welcome back, everyone.

So we have a few minutes for any requests, questions, comments.

There's one comment on YouTube: "Thanks for the bent elbow idea. I easily fall asleep." Yay! So that worked for someone, I'm glad to hear that.

So, any things that came up for you today? Okay, Catherine.

Catherine: I did kind of drop into sleepiness, but what I felt in that state was that I was in a hypnagogic state where I was really processing stuff that's been going on. And it reflected back to me the need that I have to take a moment like that during the day so that I can do a little bit of that processing. It's really, really helpful for me, and I sleep way better at night when I do that. So it felt really helpful. And I have been wound up today, I was like, "Oh yeah," because in our culture, it's not cool to just be like, "I want to go take a nap in the middle of a weekday." But it should be cool because it's the coolest thing, actually.

Nikki Mirghafori: Yeah! Yeah, I'm so glad you said this, Catherine. That's lovely that you're mindful and aware. And that's another thing I want to bring in, so glad you brought this in. With down meditation, it's also okay if sleepiness comes in; it becomes a different kind of training. So we get to actually work with sleepiness, as you said, with the hypnagogics, because we're aware. "Okay, aware, aware." And then we can decide: okay, hypnagogic state, then you can go multiple places. One place is just as you said, "Oh yes, stay with the hypnagogic state." Okay, yep, that's what's happening. I'm about to fall asleep. And sometimes actually it's wise to decide to fall asleep and not to fight it. Because a lot of times, all of us have had this experience, you're fighting, you're fighting, you're neither sleeping nor are you meditating. It's just a mess! It's a fight, like a whole 30 minutes of conflict. So if you actually are aware and mindful and let yourself fall asleep for a minute, for a few seconds, for a minute... yes. And then you can actually be mindful the moment, the second you wake up, mindfulness can be present, and it can be so refreshing. That 30-second, one-minute nap is more refreshing than hours. I see you're nodding so you know.

And there's a different relationship to sleepiness, to rest, to hypnagogia. It's like, awareness, awareness, awareness. It's lovely instead of it being an enemy. So thank you so much for bringing that in. And then also sometimes, if it seems like, "Okay, hypnagogic, no today I'm going to open my eyes, I'm going to stand up, move, and this is where I need to go to," then one can make a decision at that point, but then you have choice, right? It's beautiful. Thanks so much for bringing that in, Catherine, so delighted. That's great.

Jamie, I see your hand.

Jamie: Hi Nikki, thank you for that, that was wonderful. I had this really... [audio cuts out]

Nikki Mirghafori: Yeah, now we can hear you. We lost you for that sentence.

Jamie: Well, the tableaus, you know, thinking of these little scenes was really pretty rich. But it kind of put me in karuṇā^[5:1] for a minute. I thought to myself that all the scenes of happiness were from a long time ago, and I thought, "Gosh, I guess I haven't been that happy in a while." And so I did a little, "It's okay dear, I know that can be hard." And after that, I started thinking of all these wonderful happy moments from like last week.

Nikki Mirghafori: Oh!

Jamie: All it took was a moment of karuṇā.

Nikki Mirghafori: Oh, I'm so touched. Thank you! Thank you for sharing that, Jamie. That is so sweet, oh that touches my heart. All it took was a moment of karuṇā, a moment of compassion to open the heart to appreciating the goodness present here. Beautiful, profound, thank you.

And Deborah says, "Thanks for the permission to do this and reframing how to do meditation the right way." Yes! The right way, I love that. So thank you all, thank you all.

Let's see, one more comment here from Pat on YouTube: "Thanks for the discussion of near-sleep states. I've been wondering about dreams." Yeah, there's more we can talk about dreams, about dream yoga and actually lucid dreaming, which is being aware and mindful and conscious while we are dreaming, but anyway we'll save that.

So this has been rich. Thank you so much for your practice. Thank you to all of you, every single one of you, for your own sake, for the sake of all beings whose lives yours touches directly and indirectly. May all beings be safe, may all beings be free, including ourselves.

Thank you.