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Happy Hour: Metta and Karma

Introduction: Habits of the Mind and Karma

Hello and welcome everyone to Happier Hour.

For today's practice, the theme I'd like to invite us to explore is the theme of mind habits, or habits of the mind. Our habits of the mind that we create, habits of the mind that become habits of body, action, etc. And how it relates to metta^[1], because in the practice of metta we try to cultivate a way of thinking, being, and considering ourselves and others. Meeting our friends, meeting our thoughts, meeting ourselves, and meeting others with friendliness, with goodwill, as a way of cultivation.

This quote I want to share with you as inspiration is a quote from Mahatma Gandhi. He says: "Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior. Your behavior becomes your habits, your habits become your values, and your values become your destiny." It's quite profound.

Let me bring it into the space one more time: "Your thoughts become your words, your words become your behavior, your behavior becomes your habits, your habits become your values, and your values become your destiny." Quite powerful. It all starts—our destiny, or our life, designing our life—really starts with our thoughts. It starts with how we incline our mind, as the Buddha says. Inclining our minds. Do we incline it towards loving-kindness? Do we just let it go wild in ill will towards ourselves with judgmental thoughts? "Bad, bad, bad, terrible, terrible." Do we let it run wild? Do we let it run wild with ill will towards others? Or do we gently say, "Okay, sweetie. Alright, a little time for some cultivation."

And again, not to self-flagellate. If you notice your thoughts are running wild, that would not be helpful. That would be pouring more gasoline on the fire of ill will. Because if you have ill will towards yourself, or ill will towards others, it's not exactly stopping the cycle. So it's only through kindness—kindness towards yourself. If you notice the mind is going on a tirade against yourself or against others: "Oh sweetheart, sweetheart. Compassion, kindness, kindness." A stick is not the solution; a carrot might be.

And one last thing I want to say and bring into the space is this idea of our thoughts leading to action, and our behavior, and our destiny, etc., really isn't so different from the idea of karma^[2]. In the way that every thought, every action, every way... Not to think of karma as this complicated thing from some past life that we don't even know what we did. Not in that way. That's not very helpful. But in the way of every action, every thought really sets into motion a habit pattern, a way of being, which then sets into motion further thoughts, further actions, further habit patterns.

So in the equanimity phrases, it is actually said that we are owners to our actions and heirs to our actions. Owners and heirs. I want to unpack that a little bit actually. So it is said that kamma is actually the womb from which we spring, which is so poetic. It's Pali, it's kammayoni^[3]. So kamma, our karma, our actions, is the womb from which we spring. So powerful.

And also we are inalienable owners of our deeds. Kammasaka^[4] for those who like the Pali. Kammasaka. So we're the owners. It's both the womb we spring out from, and we are the owners.

And it's also our heritage. It remains with us. Our actions remain with us forever. We inevitably return to our heritage.

And our good deeds are our refuge, a refuge that we can take. And it can allay the sense of... if there's fear, uncertainty, we can take refuge in our kamma paṭisaraṇa^[5]. So our karma, our actions as refuge. So this is such a beautiful teaching.

And the last one is our karma, our deeds as our friends. When our minds are serene, when we have cultivated good thoughts and actions are with a sense of equanimity, a sense of peace, we have kamma bandhu^[6] (b-a-n-d-h-u). Kamma, our deeds serve as our friends.

I think this is such a beautiful, inspiring teaching. It's actually such an empowerment. It's a teaching of empowerment, that we are the owners, we're the heirs. There is so much that we put into place ourselves. So with that, let us cultivate some wholesome thoughts leading to some wholesome actions and wholesome karma. It's not so complicated. So let us practice loving-kindness, cultivating goodness together with that as motivation.

Guided Meditation

I'd like to invite you to settle. Settle in your body, noticing what your body needs in this moment.

Letting go of all the thoughts, all the words, all that has come before. Just arriving, landing in this moment.

In this body. This body. This breath. The awareness of the body. Breath as a refuge in this moment.

Each breath received to till the soil, to settle. Inviting the mind to land.

Gently, lovingly inclining our thoughts, our mind, our heart to settle here. Just here.

Just this in-breath. Just this out-breath.

Can we open up? Can we open up to meet this moment's experience with kindness, whatever is arising in this sphere of awareness? Whether it's sadness, judgment, anger, ill will, being tired, being fatigued, whatever it is. Distractedness.

Can we open? Open with kindness, with gentleness to this human condition, this moment's experience. With gentleness.

With kindness. And if needed, with compassion if there is suffering. If there's pain, "Oh dear, oh darling. It's okay. It's okay." See what is needed to meet experience with kindness.

As if you're sitting in kindness. Breathing kindness all around, all through. Just a field of kindness meeting experience.

And if there are no thoughts arising, it's just the breath. It's just the body. This moment. The mind is at peace. Then knowing the breath, knowing the sensations with kind awareness. Imbuing your knowing, your awareness with kindness, with gentleness.

With goodwill, warm-heartedness. With love. Whatever nuance is appropriate for you in this moment.

Good.

With each breath, each moment of knowing, inclining our hearts, our minds towards kindness. Planting seeds of kindness in meeting the experience in this moment. Whatever is arising: breath, body, thoughts, pain, unpleasant, pleasant.

Openhearted knowing. Kind knowing.

Kindness turned inward, internally, externally.

And if it is supportive to have the phrases of metta, bring them in. "May I be safe. May I be safe from inner and outer harm. May I be happy and joyful. May I be healthy and strong. May I meet this moment with ease, with friendliness."

Safe. Happy. Healthy. Ease.

Internally, externally.

Inclining, inclining every moment of awareness towards kindness, goodwill, friendliness to ourselves, experience, the world.

Inclining our minds to our true nature. Our true nature of love and compassion, moment by moment.

Safe. Happy. Healthy. Ease.

Directing it to yourself, another being in your life, or someone who is neutral, you don't really know them very well. You get to choose what is most supportive right now in your practice.

Trusting, trusting every moment of friendliness is planting seeds. Inclining your thoughts, your actions, your behavior, your destiny.

Each moment of inclining the mind towards goodwill, impacting the way we show up in the world.

"May all beings be safe, happy, healthy, and have ease."

If you notice your mind is distracted or in thought, be kind. Be kind at the moment you notice thinking. Thinking. "Oh dear mind, it's okay. It's your nature to think. Let's practice metta in this moment." Planting seeds of wholesomeness.

Notice the sense of empowerment, wholesome empowerment in intentionally inclining every mind moment, heart moment, towards kindness, goodwill, friendliness. So empowering.

We have a choice how we cultivate our minds, our hearts, our actions.

For the last moment of this practice period, can we cultivate appreciation? As we consider our practice, however it was, whether there were distractions, sleepiness, however it was, we showed up. We did our best. Can we cultivate appreciation for our wholesome action of aligning our actions with our values? Thank you, me. Recognizing the goodness and sharing this goodness, this merit, with all beings generously. May the impact of my cultivation, this goodness, be a cause and condition for freedom, for peace, for myself and all beings everywhere. May all beings be happy. May all beings be free.

Thanks everyone. Thank you for your practice.

Reflections and Q&A

So we have a few minutes for reflections, for comments. And you're welcome to type them in chat. If they're typed to everyone, I will read your name. If they're just typed to me, I won't read your name and only read the reflection. You're also welcome to raise your Zoom hand. What did you notice? What were some insights that came up? Questions, comments, complaints—it's all welcome.

And one thing I'll share as I'm waiting for your reflections to come in is with the quote from Gandhi that I read at the beginning. I think it is quite powerful connecting that with karma. The full quote is: "Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Your words become your behavior. Your behavior becomes your habit. Your habits become your values, and your values become your destiny." So that link that seems like one leads to another, that's a beautiful arc to keep in mind. And yet, keeping the thoughts positive, that's the part I'm not emphasizing at all, because that almost sounds like, "Happy, happy, just be positive no matter what." And psychological research actually shows that false positivity is detrimental to our state of mind and our state of health. So I want to make a distinction, and if that's not clear, you're welcome to raise your hand and ask me to expand more, but I hope it is clear. And I don't think of this practice of metta as a kind of false positivity. That's not the idea here.

Now, someone says: "Orienting towards kindness is like constantly steering a ship on a wavy sea. Thank you for your guidance." Thank you for that. And what's actually beautiful and very cogent is the observation about constantly steering a ship, because it turns out that if you're trying to get from A to B, even if the seas are calm, you always have to course-adjust. You always have to course-adjust. It's not like you set the compass and off you go. So we always have to course-adjust. It's not like we set our intention and values: "Yep, I'm going to be kind to myself and everyone else from now on," and done. It doesn't work that way. It's like steering the ship. Always, always, every moment, gently, gently course-adjusting. Thank you for that.

Other reflections? What did you notice? What came up for you? What was challenging?

Yeah. And also connecting this to karma, as I gave a little dharma^[7] talk at the beginning regarding these different aspects of karma. Karma being the womb, we being the heir of our own karma, the friend, the refuge, all of that. And karma isn't just in our actions. In Buddhism, thoughts are considered actions of the mind, which is pretty cool, I think. So we have actions of mind, actions of speech, and actions of the body. We have three different types of action, and all of these produce karma. So the way we think, we set our course, our way of being in the world.

Jerry says: "I noticed how critical my mind is, having not noticed it before I started today." Great. Great to notice it, yeah. Nice. Thank you for sharing that.

I'll give one more pause for reflections.

Sarah says: "Where do emotions fit in with what you are saying?" Oh, yes. So with the practice today, with cultivating kindness, we are also cultivating kindness towards our emotions. Because emotions are energy in motion, the reason why they're showing up is given all the causes and conditions. So we are kind with emotions, being with them and not pushing them away, even if they're challenging or difficult emotions like, for example, anger or sadness. But meeting them with kindness. Meeting them with kindness. And it doesn't mean that we act out of them. Because acting out of them or feeding them—so continuing to mindlessly feed the sadness, mindlessly feeding the anger—is the thought. In that way, the emotions are setting our karma, our way of being in the world as someone who's always angry, always sad. But meeting it with kindness provides awareness. Kind awareness provides this container for them to be met, for them to move through, to be processed, whatever needs to happen in the body. I hope that answers your question, Sarah.

Next reflection: "I'm going through a fertility process and I felt very grateful for my body instead of upset that it doesn't behave the way I wanted it to. I felt grateful for all my body has carried me through in this life." Oh, that is such a beautiful, beautiful reflection. Thank you for sharing that. So beautiful. So to be grateful for the body instead of being upset that it doesn't behave. Yeah. Oh, beautiful. Thank you for sharing that. So inspiring and uplifting.

And Sarah says: "Yes, thank you." You're welcome, Sarah.

So dear ones, let's turn with kindness. Not with fear, not with ego, but with kindness. Show up with kindness for each other in small groups. And as always, we start with 15 seconds of silent metta for ourselves, for each other, and then share as little or as much as you wish about your practice. So I've created the rooms now and they are open. Take care of yourselves, take care of each other.

(Breakout groups occur)

Okay everyone, welcome back. The rooms are closed. So we have a few minutes for reflections, comments. And yeah, especially if you haven't shared or spoken for a while, I would love to hear from you. You can raise your Zoom hand.

I wanted to share this version of the Gandhi quote, which doesn't mention the positive thoughts because that's not helpful. So this one is briefer. You see it in chat: "Your beliefs become your thoughts. Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions. Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your values. Your values become your destiny." So, reflections? Thoughts? Wisdom of the sangha^[8], please.

I'd love to hear some voices. What did you discover, especially in groups? And please know that when you offer your reflections, your insights, it's really supportive of everyone's practice.

Jerry says: "Warmth."

Eileen says: "I don't seem to greet emotions with metta. I'll have to try it." Great, yay. Please try it. Please try it.

Please, Fred.

Fred: I just found a surprising number of people who I wished well, and I didn't need to know some of them deeply. Some of them I know very deeply, but it's the wishing well of the people I pass through in life that's a great blessing itself. Just the feeling of that for friends and strangers and loved ones.

Nikki: Thank you. I couldn't have said it better. Thank you, Fred. That act of just wishing them well is a blessing in and of itself. What a blessing, what a gift. Thank you for sharing that. What a beautiful reflection. And let's end on that note. What a beautiful note to take with you, just the blessing of being able to wish others well, whether near, dear, or not.

And Marianne, this needs to be quick because we're at time.

Marianne: Really quick, what came up for me was trust in this sangha. It felt great. That was the word: trust and patience.

Nikki: Beautiful. Thank you. Trust and patience, yay. What beautiful reflections.

So dear sangha, dear sangha, thank you. Thank you for your practice. Thank you for showing up for yourselves, for each other, for all beings whose lives you touch directly and indirectly. May all beings be happy. May all beings be free, including ourselves.

Thank you all. A blessing to be a part of the sangha. Thank you.