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Introduction: Equanimity and Choice

A warm hello from Redwood City. The topic this week for meditation and for short talks is equanimity. One of the very important aspects of cultivating or developing equanimity is to realize something very profound and wise about the nature of choice. People make choices, and this is true in meditation as well.

I don't think we talk much about choice in the context of meditation, maybe because it brings up too much thinking and reflection, and perhaps too much self-consciousness. We're really trying to let go of self-consciousness, settle down, and not think so much about what's happening, but instead get focused, clear, and recognize what is happening. However, choice is operating all the time for us.

One of the opportunities in meditation, as the mind gets quieter, stiller, and more focused, is to see how much choice we have. We can then carefully, lovingly, and peacefully make choices. It can be as simple as choosing that you're better off spending time with your breathing and getting focused than thinking about what websites might be interesting to visit today. Thinking about websites can wait; there's a better choice to stay here with the breathing.

Guided Meditation: Meditating with Choice

There might be a choice about how we return to the breathing. If we don't see we have a choice, some of us might jerk the mind back. We might be angry for being distracted in thought. But if we see the moment of choice, we see we have a choice about how we relate to the mind being distracted, and how we begin again with the breathing. We have a choice to perhaps relate to the thinking mind as a friend in a friendly way, or as a wayward friend who we say to, "Friend, you know that's not the direction to go. Come back here, come with me, keep me company here as I return to the breathing." This is something that's kinder, softer, and gentler than the harshness of jerking back or being upset with oneself. Then coming back to the breath in a way that's peaceful—not in a hurry, not aggressively, not with high expectation, but in a simple, matter-of-fact, easeful way, but also a committed way to be back with the breathing.

We have a choice when we're focusing on the breathing whether to do it lackadaisically^[1], to do it complacently without much effort, with a kind of wishful thinking: "Oh, I hope something helps me to stay on the breathing." Or we can make the choice to come back and say, "It's okay, I'm here. I'm going to plant myself here. I'm going to organize my very being to be here. To the best that I can, lovingly and peacefully, I'm going to really try to stay connected to this." It's as if I'm caring for a newborn baby in my arms, and I just want to make sure I don't drop the baby. I want to make sure the baby feels safe, held, and cared for—just really staying, being present, and feeling it.

The choices you make are consequential in meditation. How can you use your capacity for recognizing choice as you meditate so that it helps you get more peaceful and settled? How can you make choices in meditation to support you to be present, at ease, calm, peaceful, and truly engaged in a relaxed but dedicated way?

Make a choice that this time, right now, is the most important time. This place where you're sitting now is the most important place. This is where your attention and life force are most valued and most beneficial. Make a choice to really stay here with us. If you don't want to make that choice, if you have other things you would rather choose to do—thinking about what websites to go on, planning the day, and things like that—then it's really clear. You might know, "Oh, I have a different preference; I have a different purpose." Being clear about that maybe changes your relationship to meditation or supports you.

Take a meditation posture. Assume a meditation posture and choose a posture that, to the best of your ability, will support you during this time. If it's comfortable for you, you can close your eyes. Make the choice, the decision, to cultivate an ability to be present in this body at this time, and express that choice by taking a few gentle, long, deep breaths.

Perhaps as you exhale, you can exhale either vocally or silently with a kind of "ah." That "ah" is a real support for fully being here and feeling here. If you do a loud "ah," the way the sound vibrates from your vocal cords down into your body can carry you into your body as you relax your shoulders.

Then, let your breathing return to normal and become attuned to your exhales. Bring a slightly more refined attention to the body exhaling. Perhaps ever so slightly, let yourself exhale a little longer than usual. Not so much that it's a strain, but just for a moment more than you would otherwise, choosing to let the exhale be more complete.

As you do so, also relax places in your body that can be softened and released: the muscles of the face, the muscles of the shoulders. Maybe soften the belly, and if possible, soften the hands and the arms.

For the next few breaths, become attuned to the inhale. Really feel what it's like to inhale from the very beginning to the end. You have some choice about how you experience the inhale. You can choose the attitude you have towards it—to be one that's allowing, non-judgmental, maybe just simply curious or generous, allowing it to be just the way it is. You choose to receive it or to know it just as it is.

Sometimes I've imagined the inhale is like riding some kind of vehicle that takes me up to the top of a hill, and then the exhale is sliding down. When it's time to exhale, choose to be there for the full slide, the full experience. Be there peacefully, allowingly. Allow this part of breathing to unfold on its own.

As we continue sitting, if the mind wanders off or something new happens, notice at what point you have some choice about how to respond. As soon as you notice you have some choice, choose the peaceful choice. Choose the easeful way of engaging your attention. Choose the peaceful way of being mindful.

As you get quieter and stiller, appreciate that there are more choices to have for being attentive peacefully, to concentrate easily. You have a choice about how often you choose. Be relaxed and at ease, with no hurry, but don't linger. Use your ability for choice to choose peaceful mindfulness and easeful concentration as we sit now in silence.

Your freedom is found in the choices you make. If you don't make choices consciously, your mind will choose for you in a way that you're not really free. Finding the peaceful place where wise choices can be made for using your attention—to choose to be in the present moment peacefully, consciously, mindfully—is the path to freedom.

Dedication of Merit

As we come to the end of this sitting, appreciate that to love is a choice. To be compassionate is a choice. To be kind and have goodwill is a choice. It is a choice where we put our attention, what we choose to notice in other people, and what we choose to notice in ourselves.

If kindness, goodwill, love, and compassion are valued, then a peaceful choice can be to look upon the world and to look upon others with kindness and goodwill. We don't have to wait until we just happen to have goodwill, or until it's an accident that we have it. It's an action to have goodwill and compassion; you don't necessarily have to feel it. It is a choice of how we look, and how we are present for our experience.

As we come to the end of this sitting, I recommend that to the best of your ability, you choose to look out across the world, to the people you know and others, with kind eyes, with an attitude of goodwill and generosity. Value our connection, our interconnection with others, and the mutualities of our lives.

Then, have the desire to share whatever benefits you have from meditation today. Whether those benefits are known or unknown, choose to share it with others in the way that we do with the dedication of merit^[2].

May whatever benefit and merit that has come from this meditation today be shared. May I look for opportunities, small and big, to share it with other people. If I'm calm, may I bring some supportive calm to others. If I'm wiser, may I bring wisdom. If I'm more able to choose to be friendly, kind, and generous, let me do so in the ways in which I communicate with people today. May it be that the way I choose to live my life is, knowing or unknowingly, for the welfare and happiness of others.

May all beings be happy. May all beings be healthy. May all beings everywhere be free.